It doesn’t bother me that my husband watches porn, what bothers me is something worse…

Published: May 7, 2014
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To my horror, all his searches involved only men. There was no mention of women anywhere. I secretly prayed that there would be a mention of a woman’s anatomy somewhere, but sadly everything was aimed at gay men.

The story I’m about to narrate is disturbing, but it is important that this story is read by all. If it can help or comfort a person going through a similar situation or provide a reason for someone not to live a life filled with lies, then I consider my job done. Even though it’s much too late for me, for someone out there, this could change their life.

About two months ago, I installed a software on my laptop to monitor my children’s internet activity. This was due to the fact that my children had inadvertently heard a curse word somewhere and then Googled it for its meaning, which in turn produced results with offensive images. I found out when I was casually browsing through my internet history one morning.

They admitted it at once; children are too innocent and unaware of the concept of deleting browser history unlike their adult counterparts. After this incident, I warned my children firmly not to use my computer while I’m not around. I also told them about the software I had installed so they would refrain from doing anything they shouldn’t be doing in the future.

What I hadn’t even considered, not in my wildest dreams, was that I would catch someone else red handed.

And so, I didn’t bother mentioning the incident involving our children to my husband because I knew he would get angry and blame me for ‘being too lenient’ or not ‘disciplining them well enough’. Thus, he didn’t know about the software either; I never felt the need to tell him considering he didn’t use my laptop anyway. Or so I thought…

My husband has a violent temper and has often been abusive. Most of his abuse and anger outbursts have been exclusively aimed at me throughout our rocky marriage. I’ve always felt like he resented me for some reason. He is also extremely secretive and has never allowed me to check his phone messages or use his laptop.

I got married when I was very young and he was a lot older than me; it was an arranged marriage. Despite my best efforts to keep him happy, nothing was ever good enough for my husband and he was often moody and distant. In the past, I often failed to understand what it was about me that ticked him off so much and made him despise me. Many times I even thought of leaving him but, because of my kids, I could never go through with it.

What I had no idea about was that during the late hours of the night, my husband would use my laptop. He hardly ever used my computer when I was around, therefore, I didn’t think he was using it at all!

The next time I checked the browsing history through the software, to my shock and dismay, I discovered that someone had been searching for excessive pornography late at night. Of course, it could only have been my husband because the kids are usually in bed and asleep by 9pm every night. My husband had been watching offensive material in the wee hours of the night for many consecutive nights but truth be told, I know that some men secretly watched porn from time to time so, I was willing to understand and let it go.

But what irked me the most was the kind of porn my husband was indulging in; what he had been watching was exclusively homosexual in nature. To my horror, all his searches involved only men. There was no mention of women anywhere. I secretly prayed that there would be a mention of a woman’s anatomy somewhere, but sadly everything was aimed at gay men. And it wasn’t just one time. It was over the course of the entire month.

All of a sudden everything fell into place and all of it started making sense. How naive was I, how innocent that I had never imagined this as a possibility! Sure, I had wondered sometimes when he would be cold and distant, and avoided me for days, but this just put everything into perspective and cemented my fears.

I thought of confronting him but I was too scared.

How would he react?

What would he do?

What I learnt, during the course of my marriage, was that one thing was very important to my husband – his image of being the ‘good guy’. No matter how cruel he was to me, he would never want people to know about it. We have been married for over a decade and finding out his secret, in this way, just broke my heart. I felt depressed and alone. I cried myself to sleep every night since then and this was all I could think about day and night.

I had invested all my time and love in a relationship that wasn’t even true to begin with! It felt like I had wasted years of my life in something that was all a big lie. I was just an image to him, to be used as a façade so that he could show the world that he was ‘normal’. What a truly and utterly selfish thing to do!

All this time, I had tried so hard to work on our marriage, hoping to be good enough, but I was never going to be. I didn’t tell him that I knew and I plan to keep it that way because of my children. He supports me financially and, sadly, I know that without him I won’t be able to support them. I am solely responsible for my kids and my house. He travels a lot for ‘work’ and even when he is around, he is mostly noncommittal. Some nights he doesn’t even bother coming home, citing some excuse or another.

After this incident, I became more vigilant when it came to looking for other ‘signs’. One day, when he was leaving for a trip, he left his suitcase open while he went to shower. As he never lets me help when it comes to packing, out of curiosity, I opened his toiletries bag and peeked inside.

What I saw horrified me even further.

There were contraceptives inside his bag. I quickly closed the bag and left the room.

At that moment, I knew for a fact that something was going on. I felt so dejected. It was one thing to compete with another woman but competing with another man was downright impossible.

I chose to stay silent about it even though I was shell shocked. I’m still pretending like I don’t know anything and sometimes I wish I didn’t know about it at all. As they say, ignorance is bliss. As time goes on, I keep thinking of what to do. I keep wondering what my life would have been like with a heterosexual man; whether it would have been any different.

Do I not deserve to be loved, respected and cared for?

I have nothing against homosexual men and I sincerely believe that everyone has the right to live their life the way they want, but to deceive someone like this, to make them go through so much just for your convenience, that’s just cruel.

In light of all this, all I want to say to all the gay men out there is, please come out of the closet and take a stand for yourselves instead of ruining someone else’s life! And if you can’t do that, then don’t get married just to ‘save face’. She is a human being too. I implore you, whatever you do, don’t get married and live a life of treachery and lies. You will never be happy and neither will the poor woman you’re dragging into the mess with you.

Anonymous678

Anonymous678

The author wishes to have her identity protected.

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • ManofSteel

    The people who are indulge in watching porn face failure in real life… !!Recommend

  • ManofSteel

    The people who are indulge in watching porn face failure in real life… !!Recommend

  • Aaron Upright

    Err. He had contraceptives in his bag? If he is a man and he is sleeping with other men he does not need contraceptives.

    Something is rotten, and its not the man loving husband.Recommend

  • Rabia

    Your story is all too common. My aunt had married this man in Karachi in an arranged marriage and she loved this guy. But few weeks later his friend returned in to his life and she didn’t think much of it until she caught them in bed. As a religious woman, she was disgusted and ashamed for him and told him to repent. Instead, he began abusing her. And then he threatened her with divorce and as a woman in pakistani society you don’t want to be divorced…it’s the last thing you want to hear so she begged him to stay with her. She succumbed to society. Nevertheless he did end up divorcing he and continued having his relationship with his boyfriend. My aunt left Pakistan and married an divorced pakistani with five children and raised them and then had her own children too. Although she is happily married, she cannot forget that period in her life that she was betrayed. She also found out that this is too common in Pakistan. Because of segregation and society pressure boys end up becoming involved with their mates and they become use to it, but then they get married and are unable to love their wives. A lot of married men in Pakistan are closet gays. They suppress ther feelings and marry a female, but ruin HER life because they are never able to love her! I pray all works out for you. You are NOT alone! Recommend

  • dude

    file for divorce immediatelyRecommend

  • Repatriated

    Condoms are a type of contraceptive.Recommend

  • anonymous678

    @Aaron upright Genius! Contraceptives include condoms that save you from STD’sRecommend

  • Ali

    if he wanted to watch porn, he could do it from his laptop. why would he go through the trouble of using your laptop for porn.Recommend

  • Curious

    Your story is really painful. I feel devastated. All I would like to say is that please keep faith in your Lord and He will find a way out for you. After all, He created you. However, let me say this: keeping faith in Lord means that we must truly trust Him. My best wishes for you. God bless you and your children.Recommend

  • Brother Aly (R.A)

    Well miss you clearly miss the finer lines of how you must behave in society if your husband ever came out as being gay imagine what would happen to him. I find you lack of openness also disturbing when it comes to secretly praying he was watching heterosexual pornography, he is gay why should he not watch it. What you should do is go to a marriage counselor or maybe file for a divorce instead of ranting out in public and not doing anything about it.Recommend

  • reader

    //If he is a man and he is sleeping with other men he does not need contraceptives.//
    How naive and ill-informed can you be?!Recommend

  • Ali

    and why would he need contraceptives for sleeping with another man -_-
    this story is just fakeRecommend

  • meeru

    You do know contraceptives, condoms, are not just for birth control but for preventing STDs?Recommend

  • Frankly

    @Aaron Upright
    I think the writer wrote condoms which was edited to contraceptives.

    @Writer
    It’s your life but try and leave your husband. You DO deserve more.Recommend

  • Hamza

    Err… google it before thinking of “contraceptive” with your mind alone. It does not mean birth control stuff only.Recommend

  • Kashif Shazad

    Read the whole article and my conclusion is that her Husband did everything to comply with the norms of the society. Unfortunately coming out is not an option in Pakistan, and since the marriage was an arranged marriage, it was nothing but a compromise. You married a man without knowing him, you were willing to enter the marriage setting aside all the risks involved with marrying a man without knowing him. I would say that your concerns are right but you had lost the right to complaint when you agreed for “Arranged Marriage”Recommend

  • GG

    @aaron contraceptives doesn’t mean ‘only’ the pills..Recommend

  • Sami

    I will suggest you to confront your husband. This is the only solution. Divorce in the Pakistani Society is not possible in an easy manner. Confront him and then come to terms with him. Hiding in the closet will not work and as a consequence you will drag yourself in depression and nothing else. b

    But believe me the percentage of Homosexuals is higher in Pakistan than in many Western nations. When I use this term then i allure to both Men and Women. Infact just ask any Guy who is active socially and you will hear many stories. Anyway in Pakistan we want to pretend Everything is Alright and Holier Than Thou attitude is Omnipresent.

    Infidelity and taboo sexual orientation exists in Men and Women alike. We should not reserve the term of Homosexuality for Men only as Women indulge in such activities as well. Maybe in the next 1000 years our society will accept this fact and then people will open up. But right now it is not possible.Recommend

  • aminah

    she would but she is financially dependent on him and I don’t think she would get anything out of itRecommend

  • Seedha Sada

    It is real difficult situation which you are in right now.I know a woman who was in almost similar predicament but the difference was that she could support herself and her children financially.
    Her husband was in Army and got court marshalled because of being involved in an immoral activity.His attitude was same as of your husband.He portrayed himself as a very pleasant person in front of people but deep inside he was a monster.In their marriage of almost 20 years they separated for like 3 or 4 times but every time she reconciled for the better future of her children.But instead of he proved to be detrimental to the upbringing of her children so now she has finally parted her ways with him.I would have advised you to the same but the fact that you can’t support your children makes your situation different.
    May Allah help you in getting out of this predicament.Recommend

  • Rakib

    He needs condoms to prevent human immunodeficiency virus infection / acquired immunodeficiency syndrome.Recommend

  • disgusted!!!

    wow… lady i am equally disgusted by you as by your husband….”I have nothing against homosexual men and I sincerely believe that everyone has the right to live their life the way they want”
    first i thought it was horrific for you, but at last i was like eeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkk!!!Recommend

  • shame on you!

    express tribune will you put a stop on your dirty agenda!!!!! this story is fake, and you have written it so the people get distracted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Recommend

  • Asad

    You should not have clicked.Recommend

  • John

    Because it Sexually transmitted disease from spreading which could occur too. This story isn’t fake, it’s just you who is misinformed, naive, and lack basic knowledge. Contraceptives can include condoms too, and homosexual couples use it too.Recommend

  • Hala Syed

    I don’t think you read this piece. its not about porn at allRecommend

  • Ahmed

    and this blog mentions he HAD his own laptop?Recommend

  • angry-bird

    While I sympathize with your plight, your blissful oblivion regarding the kind of problems gay men face in Pakistan is astounding. What he did was absolutely wrong, but kindly refrain from making statements like “all gay men should come out of the closet” because if they do and they are not killed off by religious and/or homophobic fanatics, it’s people like you who would systematically discriminate against them until they become an invisible part of the society.Recommend

  • Dr Zahid

    Because your a ignorant person, does not mean necessarily that the whole world is ignorant. If your a typical pakistani and conspiracy theory follower which you seem to be, does not mean that everything needs to be lie and every truth looks ridiculous and ludicrous to you. Your behavior is not only abysmal but also very dismal at the same time. Show some mercy to these poor women, for God sake and what pain she is going through.Recommend

  • peace

    this is really sad. pls trust in ALLAH and get in touch with some good reputable scholar and ask for some duas that can help you.Recommend

  • kk

    Contraceptive for another man? Sorry, it sounds fishy!Recommend

  • Ali Zuryab Haidar

    this script from bad movie film, if its fact it should condemned and stop such kind of behavior do not let gays be appreciated they should be discouraged, remember qaum e lout,,, surely you dont be like them. this article appreciating gays to come it in open to be like appreciating to be like qaum e loutRecommend

  • Alann

    Just one question that comes to my mind: If he’s really gay, then how come you’ve had kids?Recommend

  • Jaria

    Quite true.Recommend

  • ad

    He looks bi-sexual which are abundant in Pakistan.Recommend

  • https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8559594100366660134#allposts Supriya Arcot

    U poor thing. Its a common story worldwide. All I can suggest is , try to get a life of your own. Make friends , take some university course, get yourself some hobby, join some club like community helping or women’s health etc., Find a constructive outlet for your pent up emotions and energy. Try to see his plus points ( I am sure he has some ) and amplify them to show that you do appreciate and acknowledge his qualities . Life goes on …Recommend

  • Shehryar

    How naive are people in Pakistan, really?

    Have you heard of something called,…I don’t know, AIDS?Recommend

  • Billa

    Everything about this story is fake and based on the stereotypes tribune just loves to exaggerateRecommend

  • Faraz Talat

    “Dear gay people, please come out of the closet”
    – Anonymous678

    LOL!Recommend

  • Harris

    Its a very dangerous/grey area. On one hand its literally a death sentence coming out as a gay man in Pakistan and on the other hand if he does get married it just wrecks the life of the person you try to live your life with..

    Just goes to show how terrible Pakistan is when it comes to human rights and respecting peolpe who are not the same as you.Recommend

  • Harris

    Bingo… I absolutly loathe arranged marriages.Recommend

  • maheen

    Lady, why are you putting yourself down? Nobody is
    dependent on anyone except the Almighty. The fact that you are writing this
    blog shows that you are educated and if you tried you could get out there and
    earn a living. Also, Islam permits you to seek divorce from the man if he is is
    homo, and therefore he is also supposed to pay for the upkeep of the kids.
    Thodi himmat karo and take the step. If everyone remains anonymous, the world
    will never change. Be brave. May Allah be with you.Recommend

  • Critical

    To all those who call this story as a fake and ET has made it to promote gayness in Pakistani society and lead immorality…

    Could you please answer this question?? If homosexuality was a Western concept forced upon us,then why there is a concept of “Dancing Boys” in Arabia from ancient times???

    How is it legal for a grown man to force a young boy to do things but illegal for legally consenting adults to do the same???Recommend

  • Mj

    Are you going to compare the suffering of this woman (and her husband too) to a fictitious fable from the iron age?Recommend

  • abc

    a lot of times men are not allowed to download/stream porn from office laptops because they are either protected or monitored. Could be one of those cases..Recommend

  • http://memonammar.blogspot.com Ammar

    Unfortunate but true. This evil persists in our society. Recommend

  • anonamiss

    Well.. nothing is rotten. Condoms are also contraceptive and save from sexually transmitted diseases. Now u got the point?Recommend

  • Playa

    The core of the problem is not at the personal level it is a societal problem. Due to religious influences, homosexuals are denied in society. They forcefully get married off to unsuspecting girls, in order not to bring shame to their family (or even get killed). Gays in conservative societies have no choice themselves. Some of them are even willing to kill their wives, if their secret will come out. Both the wife and the homosexual in question are victims here in the situation you describe.Recommend

  • Playa

    He looks to be 100% homosexual. He has no attraction to women at all.
    Blue pills and some imagination can probably do wonders, such as
    conceiving a child….Recommend

  • Playa

    It is a common misconception for those unfamiliar with the biologic knowledge, that psychological stimuli is a necessary requirement. It is basically a physiological response.Recommend

  • Playa

    The blog mentions a PC, besides HER laptop. My guess, their computer was in their bedroom, so when he sneaked off middle in the night, he needed to go to another room to indulge his gay urges. Hence the moveable laptop that he used.Recommend

  • Syme

    What I understand is that your hubby is a bicurious and I don’t see any harm in it. I think you should come off your high horse and stop bashing personal sexual preferences. Please don’t play a victim here. If you feel cheated or disgusted then an option is there to call it a day and move on. Now I am not suggesting you to get a divorce but did you confronted your husband? Rather than confronting him and working on his fantasies you are garnering the support of already radicalized society. Well, don’t bring religion in this argument. If you are saying you have no problem with homosexuality then you can’t use the religion card. I even have a problem with your quote good guy unquote.
    Now tell me, if your son or daughter is homosexual then will you let him/her be that way? you will surely consider him/her damaged in one or other way. I have no problem with gays is not an answer. I read it as a disclaimer, as long as anyone else is gay I have no problem but if this thing cross my family then I will write a blog.
    I can understand that you are feeling betrayed and cheated but that doesn’t take your husband’s rights away from him to live an autonomous life.
    Secondly, many men are curious but they are not homosexual. May be some are more curious.Talk to him and find out and then you are free to make your choices. being married for 10 years and having kids is not an excuse to stay in a stormy relationship. You too deserve the best.
    I apologize, if you find my comment rough and callous.Recommend

  • gp65

    Have you watched Friends? Ross’ first wife was gay but they had a kid Ben.
    If he married to appear normal then he probably had kids for the same reason. His preference does not affect his performance.Recommend

  • gp65

    IT probably was a condom. USed to protect from HIV and other STD.Recommend

  • gp65

    First of all I understand your helplessness and sympathise. But just as you are unable to confront your husband because you are afraid he may divorce you and that is socially unacceptable – he too maybe unable to ‘come out’ openly in a country where being gay is against the law and homophobia is widely prevalent.
    HE is in a marriage he does not want to be for the exact same reason that you are in a marriage you do not want to be i.e. social pressure to confirm.Recommend

  • Priyanka

    Conservative culture in India/Pak encourages people to have false sense of shame and pride. If you are born gay you should be proud of it and be able to marry (same sex) and adopt kids and live properly, instead of getting into false marriages ( with opposite sex). But here the society and government push gay men and women underground by making laws against them. Injustice always breeds injustice.Recommend

  • water bottle

    She doesn’t mean, come out for the world. That would be self imposed death sentence in Pakistan.

    She meant, come out to the people that matter, like friends and family.Recommend

  • water bottle

    Perhaps, you don’t understand how it works.Recommend

  • DD

    I pity the guy for the torture that he had been through in the process of making the woman pregnant! Poor, poor guy!Recommend

  • Raj – USA

    My full sympathies and support for this woman. Her husband has no right to ruin her life. He lacks values of all sorts. He can have his life as he wants but he should not ruin the life of another. I disgust all those who are coming out in support of this husband. Divorce is a very difficult, if not impossible option for this lady. It would be difficult for her children also to handle this.Recommend

  • Pak soul

    Story seems fake as someone mentioned why would he use wife’s laptop unless he wanted to get rid of her and thought to use this trick. These days with smartphones, one doesn’t need a laptop. Second thing, being gay and cruel are very different things, please don’t spread lies and hatred against gays. The other thing being, it seems that your agenda is to promote gay men coming out which isn’t going to make things any different. Even in the west, the longevity of homosexual relations is very low. If a man is gay, you would have known even without having this fabricated laptop story thing.Recommend

  • UtkarshSinghNain

    …gay men are not impotent or sexually deformed or something. They’re normal men who have sexual attraction towards other men.Recommend

  • UtkarshSinghNain

    Exactly what I thought. It’s a bit rich asking gay men to come out of the closet in countries like Pakistan and India.

    Also, the author is surely suffering in the marriage, but so is the man. (That doesn’t excuse physical abuse, though.)Recommend

  • Ali

    “He is also extremely secretive and has never allowed me to check his phone messages or use his laptop.”

    READ BEFORE YOU COMMENT!!
    Peace out.Recommend

  • Ahmed

    you need to take some sex-education classes online! You are seriously ignorant. You have internet, use it for something good for a change instead of writing ……comments that end up making a fool out of you.Recommend

  • clipper

    What do you expect them to do though? How could a gay man, in Pakistan, have any sort of family life? Forget family life, gay people are regularly persecuted and he probably feared for his life, as I do. Don’t blame them, blame the society that doesn’t allow people to live their own truth without fear of being stigmatized, persecuted and otherwise treated like garbage?Recommend

  • think about it

    You do realize that if, even IF this story is fake, SUPPOSING that express tribune has nothing better to do, this still remains a real and major problem in our society. This actually happens, and I know people who have been subject to it. Like any problem, approaching it rather than ignoring it is the only way to solve it.
    Btw though, what exactly do you think Express Tribune is trying to get the people distracted from?
    Recommend

  • Muzammal

    I think there must be any test before marriage in order to know this who is gay and who is lesbian. Recommend

  • knightridrr

    And then there are people like you.Recommend

  • Assuming this account is correct, what do you want her to do? Announce her identity and pull the rug from under her life? Her call to ask gay men to come out of the closet (which, admittedly, should be qualified) is in no way diminished by her need to protect her identity in this situation and still put out a message. To suggest otherwise is an ad hominem response.

    It takes a certain callousness to “LOL” after reading something so sobering.Recommend

  • *sigh* … Gay men CAN have children. The mechanics are not that hard. Pun intended.Recommend

  • Malik Abdul Rehman

    i thought it was my wife until i read the homosexuality part ……..eeeeeRecommend

  • Hasan

    the story is very well written….(Y)
    Just for the record , the word ‘hetro sexual’ was wrongly used….hetrosexual is a person having sexual desires for the member of opposite sex . In short he/she is straight..!Recommend

  • She is tolerant and troubled, and you are intolerant and complacent. Live on in your ignorant bliss, why don’t you.Recommend

  • Moiz

    So you are actually implying that boys and girls should be involved with each other in our society openly so that boys get used to girls? And if boys are getting used to boys because of segregation why are gay men and lesbian women still present in countries where there is no segregation? I’m confused!Recommend

  • Moiz

    Many men keep denying their sexual orientations and even if they come out of the closet their parents and elders insist that this “illness” will correct itself after marriage. More than gay people coming out, our society needs to learn to stop micromanaging people’s sexual lives. And that loving another human being and wanting to spend your life with them is no crime. Discrimination is rampant in almost all cases of same-sex relationships.Recommend

  • OMG

    This is so soooo scary… its like you are living with a man and suddenly you dont know him anymore. how much does he earn and spend on kids per month? i wish i could help you someway… you should see a lawyer, the reason of separation is totally against him and after divorce he will have to bear expenses of his kids so i guess if you have guts you should file for divorce.Recommend

  • A MULLAH…

    All those giving her their “kind advices”, she didnt ask for an advice!!

    And well, for Homosexuality, “Jo shakh e nazuk pe aashyana, banega na-payedar hoga” (Iqbal)…Recommend

  • Rational mind

    I really think you should discuss it with someone in your family that you trust. From what I see, the following are the possibilities:

    1- Your husband is gay and that living with such a person is a failed compromise! He cannot be an individual who you can expect as your partner in life. Not only can he be a bad influence on your children, you yourself would do injustice to your kids if you continue to stay with him. I know divorce in Pakistan is not easy because of the ignorance of people but you CANT let yourself be played around by a man who cares only about his own feelings, and sexual needs. YOU get your life ONLY once and to spend it like this is not worth it!

    2- The second possibility is very unlikely but still may be possible. Research has proven that even hetrosexual men watch gay porn at some point in their life. BUT watching it every week or regularly for that matter, is a great matter of suspicion, And with the signs that this man is showing, it is fairly simple that he is not interested in women.

    I pray for you, and remember that this man ( or this “thing”) is not worth your time. It is a self-insult for you to continue living with this creature.Recommend

  • allaisaxuver

    Contraceptives are used by gay people too. It fact they should use more because of spread of AIDs.Recommend

  • TTV

    You’re absolutely right! The author obviously wrote this article under the orders of Prince Sharaabul Falafel of Yahoodistan in an attempt to smear our country’s perfect image!Recommend

  • khoso

    wow. people like you still exist! looks like evolution has been a little slow for certain people.Recommend

  • allaisaxuver

    Even gay men have children just to keep up appearances.Recommend

  • TTV

    Let us not forget the inhabitants of Pangea who were wiped out in a similar fashion 65 million years ago. Even the dinosaurs were punished for their disgusting homosexual activities.Recommend

  • wadeira ka beta

    you are disgusted at the fact that she’s okay with people doing what they want?Recommend

  • Sarah

    Refrain from having any relations with him do it gradually, it’s far more dangerous than you think , he is culturally and religiously involved in sin so he stands no where. For gay sympathizers here even if homosexual was fine it’s an out of wedlock sex and usually with multiple partners making a spouse vulnerable .
    Any way start working on yourself, establish ursrlf financially find ways to survive alone , number of women do so , and file a divorce .you don’t want to raise your kids with this man and bring a shame to them, he is on shaky ground and if u don’t disclose his identity he will b ready to pay for kids as well Recommend

  • Ghazzali

    America has one of the highest gay population. Its because they practice Islamic segregation. Nice Logic !?!Recommend

  • oh WOW. Seems like you married a gay man who repressed his sexuality so deeply that the only outlet is (unfair) aggression towards you and his children. Very tricky situation to be in. This is extremely unfair to you and you have my sympathies. While it is an extremely personal decision for a gay person to come out (since doing so is not without all sorts of consequences), it is very important to be fair and protective towards others who deserve companionship and love of their own.Recommend

  • Rabia

    That’s a very unfair thing to say! If she had trusted her parents for arranged marriage; it doesn’t mean she needs to live with their mistake for the rest of her life!Recommend

  • Ahsan

    Pls Stop. Writing. Crap.Recommend

  • Saad

    What’s wrong with people living their life the way they want? They are responsible to god, not to you.

    And about your reaction, westerners give us the same ‘eeeeeeeekk’ regarding cousin marriage. Will you like it when people find you disgusting just because of that reason?

    Grow up.Recommend

  • Bilal Hassan

    Divorce is somethin’ , Allah dislikes the most, Although its permissible..Recommend

  • Manahil

    I feel sorry for your plight and sympathize with your husband’s struggles, but I can’t accept your reasons to stay with an abusive man. Homosexual or not, he was a horrible husband, cruel to you, didn’t satisfy you, and yet you stayed with him. You’re even with him NOW. While divorce is hard and damn near impossible in case of financial dependence, I think it’s time you begin to fight for YOUR rights. Be brave, strong and smart. Many woman have been able to find a way. InshAllah God will help you. Remember, you’re not supposed put up with all this. Those kids you’re staying for will grow up to see how horribly their father treats their mother, and either learn from him, or hate you both for it. No matter how many men or women come out, it’s not going to solve this problem of spousal abuse. Recommend

  • Asad

    A contraceptive, by definition, it’s something that prevents conception/fertilization. Although condoms are a form of contraceptive and do protect one from sexually transmitted diseases to a certain extent, the use of the word ‘contraceptive’ in this article is incorrect.
    Recommend

  • Asad

    Actually, it does. The word contraceptive is defined as a something that prevents conception /fertilization. Recommend

  • fanonymous

    “I have nothing against homosexual men and I sincerely believe that everyone has the right to live their life the way they want”
    Now as a Muslim and a wife of a gay that’s your stance? Well suck it up then.Recommend

  • Asad

    Emo much, Dr sahab. Relax. And ‘you’re’.Recommend

  • Salman afridi

    Homosexuality is totally haram in islam. Iam so shocked to read views here. Who are you people!Recommend

  • taboo1

    I am a gay guy and vety well understand as to the horrors of what she has gone through. I am closeted but honest enough not to marry a woman because i dont want her to suffer for my sake. Rest is the daily ordeal of the society that is willing and forcing to throw one at a speeding car hoping he will either be picked or run over. What disgusts me is this pretentious islamic society of a tag we mark ourselves with hoping to be keeping up appearences. After all kost of our practises are based on that principle of showing off and drama keeping. So this may be a fake agenda cos it didnt happen to you and i am sure people have no reason to be distracted because we are all such god damn fukin perfect as muslaas as we are right..Recommend

  • KS

    Seriously? Contraceptives means condoms and they protect you from sexually transmitted diseases! Duh … Also I’m sure there’s tons of gay men who are married in Pakistan and elsewhere and people who think this is fake are just oblivious and ignorant. Recommend