A ‘taroo’s treat’ in Karachi
Before I begin, there is something I want to say:
My wife is a stupid woman.
There I said it. I don’t know what goes on in that miniscule female brain of hers but she is really getting on my nerves now. I was leaving to hang out with my boys when she told me to take a water bottle with me. There’s a heat wave, she said, you’ll get dehydrated.
“Bottle of water? What is wrong with you, woman? I am not a weak little girl. I am a man. A MAN.”
I yelled and repeated for further reassurance to her and myself.
Anyway, enough about her and her female dehydration problems, let’s talk about my day with my boys. A day full of beauty and promises! It’s not easy you know, being a ‘taaru’ in Karachi. There is so much competition everywhere you go. My boys and I like to keep it high end though, it is so much more convenient. We hit big malls where we find a wide variety of gorgeous women and girls, there’s food available in case our energy levels go down, there’s air-conditioning so we don’t have to worry about our sweat and drool and dayummmmm are rich women something to look at!
Today we went to one of the biggest malls in Karachi, and on a weekend. It was what our brothers in Lahore would call ‘poondi paradise’. So many pieces to look at, so much beauty, where do we begin?! So we started with our usual pattern:
The food court
Logic: If a girl or group of girls are eating and they see you staring at them, they can’t leave or move away. Why? Because they’re eating! I started with a group of young college girls laughing and having a good time. I positioned myself at the table right behind theirs and pretended to be drinking my drink when actually I was trying to drink in all the details of their beauty. Another plus point about the food court, if they’re busy eating then they won’t notice you.
You have to be careful with groups, though. They often get really angry for no reason and complain about you and then there’s an entire scene. God, talk about an overreaction!
The shopping area
It was time to get walking. I began following a stunning young mother and her teenage daughter to every shop they went to. I knew it was the mother I should be ogling at, but I could not take my eyes off her daughter. I gave her a smile and she turned green. I smirked.
It was then that I saw a girl shopping alone. Jackpot! A ‘taroo’s treat’ we call it when a woman is by herself! I leered at her till the point she felt harassed and asked me if I have a mother or sister at home. (What does that have to do with anything?) I laughed and said ‘Ufffff’ in the most vulgar way manageable. She too looked like she was going to be sick. Weird female dehydration problems maybe? Probably.
The parking lot
Yet another area where the girl can’t move away too far from you because she is waiting for her ride or has parked her car in the parking lot. It is exciting to see how they fidget with their keys or purses and look over their shoulders in panic as me and my boys check them out. Oh and that fake angry look they make, like they don’t want us to look at them from head to toe. Women are so funny… and stupid.
On the street
The streets are a tharki’s sanctuary. This is where we can do whatever we want without anyone stopping us. My boys and I followed the girls outside the mall, those walking to get public transport. This is when the true animals in us are unleashed. We whistle, leer and make smooching sounds from our mouth. We laugh loudly and make disgusting gestures. The girls look petrified, but have managed to remain calm, to not give us any attention. They avert their eyes and open their dupattas as far as the fabric can stretch.
We stay there and watch them leave. We are not worried because we know our work will continue, by their rickshaw walas, men in the buses, drivers, perverts on bikes at traffic signals, some policemen, guards, salesmen and basically by any man with a disgusting mind that these girls will surely come across. Like I said, so much competition, taarus everywhere.
But my mind is at ease with the thought that tomorrow will be another day of healthy poondi-ing, harassing and objectifying. Tomorrow and till the end of time.
Well it’s time for me to go home now to my stupid wife. God is she getting on my nerves!
Disclaimer: The article above is merely based on observation and is not generalisable to the entire male populace. So dear boys, unless you’re a regular harasser of women, please don’t take this to heart. We know that not all men are bad. Relax.
The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.