Stories about SMS

So you think Pathan jokes are funny? Read this!

 The screen of my touch phone glowed and it beeped. I picked it up and it said, “One new message received.” There was a text message and it read something like this. Man: “What’s the difference between a radio and a newspaper?” Pathan: “Yaara (dude), the major difference I can think of is that one can wrap chapattis in a newspaper but not in a radio.” The moment I finished reading it, my cell beeped again. And this time it read, “A man was drowning in the sea. Tourists stood on the ship, helplessly watching the man frantically gasp for air. Suddenly a Pathan, standing on the deck, jumped into ...

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Building ‘Traffic Pakistan’ and the problem with start-ups

Around three years ago M. Ali, a close friend of mine, built a very neat road traffic reporting system. This was a low tech version (dealing with real time traffic and incident reporting) over text messages and tweets. This was before we knew that something like Waze (later developed via Google) existed. Since Pakistan was gradually becoming a country with a majority of its population having access to cell phones and the internet, this idea made sense. Being pragmatists, we decided to name the scheme ‘Traffic Pakistan’. The idea was quite simple. Pakistani roads are horrible and often get congested. ...

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No WhatsApp, Skype or Viber? I’m moving to Sargodha!

  Can you imagine a WhatsApp exchange like this occurring between two terrorists? What, you think they don’t use WhatsApp? Well, shame on you for being so unimaginative because this totally happens. You think you know better than the government? Such conversations are held every time there is a bomb blast, because let’s face it, we all love talking to our friends – yes, even terrorists. However, thanks to the foresighted Sindh government, terrorists (and also the harmless communication junkies of Sindh) might soon be on a three-month break from their Viber/Tango conversations, WhatsApp-ing and Skyping with their homies. Yesterday, Sindh Information Minister ...

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Of course I’m going to heaven; I forwarded that SMS to 10 people!

The message blinked on my computer screen – large, bright red letters of warning. “Do not delete this message or you will be permanently banished from paradise. Just send it to 10 people and find a place in heaven!” Huh? I scrolled up only to find that the sender was one of my friends, who I used to consider ‘a very sensible’ person before this email. The sad fact, however, is that we always seek shortcuts, even for paradise! Such type of chain messages, outrageous emails and SMSs are very common. They are nothing more than a mere form of religious blackmailing and believing ...

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Stop texting me, I forgive you all!

After a long day, I hit the sack early and turned my cell phone off to sleep peacefully. Following the usual routine, I checked my mobile the first thing in the morning. I was amazed to see the gazillion text messages that I had received in just one night. I was all set to read about some juicy news, guessing that maybe a friend had a fight or the exam result was out early. While my mind was still examining other possibilities, I started to read the text messages. The anticipation cooled instantly as I read my colleague’s message that ...

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Our dual morality disorder

I was standing on a main road in Islamabad when I saw a big billboard depicting a woman provocatively posing in a nightgown. There, standing right below the billboard, hidden behind a face veil, was a woman who seemed to be a completely different specimen to the model above. Written on this billboard, in bold, was the word ‘Hidden.’ This might have been a brand name – I really don’t know what it stood for. However, to me it highlighted the hidden dual-morality disorder of the virtual and real world that is currently sweeping through our society. Let me explain what I mean ...

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‘If I delete this message, would it be a sin?’

I am 18 years old, and I am a regular receiver of Faiza’s Islamist text messages. Every other day, I can be sure of being forwarded a Hadith, or a prayer or advice, sometimes about the path to happiness or in other cases, about maintaining modesty. Whether I read them, delete them, forward them, or watch as they pile up in my phone inbox, is irrelevant. This electronic message is not the kind of message carried by a paper flyer from a mosque, or a dars pamphlet invitation from a relative. They are mass produced, more old-school, and definable events. These ...

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PTA – a correction

Last week, Pakistanis suffered some three minutes of unmitigated shock and awe. It occurred after the Pakistan Telecommunication Authority (PTA) announced that it would not allow the mobile operators to carry text messages containing swear words. After registering some initial outrage, however, the nation broke into uncontrollable euphoria. It had to do with the list of swear words that the PTA issued to go with their directive. The list, in case you haven’t seen it yet, is spread over two documents (Urdu, English) and it has been researched, compiled and prepared by the PTA — May God bless them. Going through ...

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19 reasons why I’d rather text than talk

According to a PEW report quoted in the New York Times one in three teenagers sends more than 100 text messages a day, and a whopping 72 per cent are now official ‘text-messagers,’ compared with just 51 per cent in 2006. Sure enough, messaging has now become the most popular method of communication – beating not just phone calls, e-mails and the much-hyped social networking sites, but face-to-face communication as well.. What is the unvarnished truth? Many of us prefer exchanging text messages to having an actual conversation. Now ‘prefer’ is a strong word; it shows that given an option, the average teenager would ...

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Are you part of the ‘kewl’ club?

I solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. A couple, who happen to teach English Language, went to meet the love of their son’s life in order to proceed with the proposal the eastern way. When someone asked the professor afterwards, if he was happy with his son’s choice, he had only one thing to say: The girl was fine but her father kept speaking inaccurate English; his grammar and tenses were highly misplaced. This may come across as a rude remark to some, but it truly reflects a teacher’s dilemma. I, however, am no tutor ...

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