Stories about rich

Why don’t beggars quit being so gross?

The following is a graphic description of my traumatic ordeal last week, when I was forced to cruise through a bazaar full of beggars in my handsome new Corolla. I emerged from it with a greater understanding of their sordid ways, of which I shall gladly inform you. It was an ordinary afternoon that transformed into a grotesque nightmare. I made a fatal mistake of passing through Saddar which was teeming with excited Eid shoppers, and found myself stuck in a gridlock. That’s when it began. They came at me from every direction; tapping on my window with their yellow, misshapen ...

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Mong Chow: Karachi gets a taste of Burma

Burma is a culture-rich country nestled between India, China, Bangladesh, Laos and Thailand. Their cuisine is as rich as their culture and I have had the pleasure of enjoying some staples and delicacies during my growing years, mainly because my grandmother is Burmese. The key components of Burmese cuisine have been greatly influenced by the neighbouring country’s eating habits, the most notable being India, China and Thailand. That being said, Burmese cuisine is notably different from any others you might have come across, be it the sublime taste or the rich colourful presentation. A single bite can be hot and sweet, salty ...

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Chocolates for slum children

“So we want to distribute these chocolates among kids before we leave,” my family friends said excitedly. Born and brought up in England, they were living in Dubai now and were on a visit to Pakistan. In the last couple of days, during their visit, they told us about the chocolates that they had brought with them for the underprivileged children. In order to fulfill my kind guests’ noble request, I asked my brother who knew of a slum that was cocooned in the middle of one of Islamabad’s posh sectors. Further investigation revealed that our cleaner Basheer Lala also came from ...

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Who cares? Not me

I am a Pakistani. Don’t confuse me for an illiterate, poverty-stricken person. Or a displaced one in that case. Not at all! I can assure you, I live quite comfortably. I did my schooling from one of the best institutes in the country. I speak English very well, and I only wear branded clothes. I buy them from the US or Europe during my annual visits abroad. It’s annoying how people assume I’m needy just because I’m from Pakistan. Oh no! I’m a first-grade citizen, albeit of a third world country. Apparently the fact that our power generation is less ...

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Partying with pistols

It was an ominous day for the attendees of a dance party taking place on Khayaban-e-Rahat in Karachi.  I can imagine the scene: alcohol was ample, the DJ was working the crowd and amongst this unsupervised and posh array of people, a shoot out took place. Firing outside the gates of prominent parties is a common occurrence in Pakistan and not a lot of people take it seriously. In fact, in my experience, if there was a shoot out at a party, it was usually preceded by an exchange of threats and followed by a phadda or an altercation. The ...

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‘Thank you guys’ said the robbers

Incidents of armed robberies, mugging, mobile phone snatching and rape etcetera aren’t new in Karachi. The recent robbery at The Second Floor (T2F) Café did garner attention however, with people discussing security measures in place, while others even mocked the exhibition entitled “Art Loot Maar” (ironically means theft/robbery) which was taking place at the time of the incident. The café, T2F which karachisnob.com lists as one of the “coolest” cafes in town “is an alternative space” says Bina Shah, Karachi-based author and former editor of the Internet magazine SPIDER. Opened in 2007, T2F, operated by a non-profit organisation, quickly became ...

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Land of confusion: Riddles in the sand

The view from the bunker is perhaps, one of the most worrying sights for the amateur golfer.  The dual impact of a poor stroke and bad luck usually strikes a nerve that will further hinder the player’s already disadvantageous position. Chances are, at least one poor shot will follow. But that’s OK, because even the worst round of golf can be erased by another famed Scottish export. Ah, the golf courses of Islamabad. If there were ever a place in this city to forget poverty, illiteracy and disease, and everyone’s favourite – terrorism – these are the places to be. ...

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30 rules for survival in Pakistan

The mammoth difference between the lifestyles, and opportunities, provided to the so called elite, and the average man living a hand-to-mouth life, in our country, is nothing new to us. If you wish to survive in this country, you have to climb on the bandwagon. And the following instruction will tell you exactly how to do that. Please follow them very carefully. In case anything goes wrong or you are left morally impaired or religiously handicapped, just die. 1.  If you are already filthy, and ridiculously rich, go directly to instruction number nine. 2.  If you do not think you can ever be ...

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A coffee date with bored, rich people

So, I am vacationing in Karachi after a nightmare of a semester. A newlywed school friend called me up to ask if I’ll join in for a little coffee-table chatter at one of the dear little coffee-shops, with a bunch of dear little female acquaintances. The thought of a social detour which involves mingling with rich married girls my own age practically paralysed me. I protested, but the married friend seemed to have acquired newfound levels of determination. As I began to pity her husband, she arrived at my doorstep to bundle me in her car and whisk me off. An ...

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Aunty Pussy, butterflies and social shenanigans

Don’t get the wrong idea. Aunty Pussy is just the title character in Tender Hooks, a book I just read – and what a crazy read it has been. This little paperback is a piece of work that’s sure to be misunderstood on many levels. I’m not what you call a hardcore reader (I manage to consume one or two titles a month) but this is surely the finest example of “don’t judge a book by its cover” on my bookshelf. At first glance, one co-worker described it as a Pakistani erotica. Another thought it to be an attempt to “undermine Pakistani ...

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