Stories about physical abuse

Will she ever learn?

Her heels clicked as she briskly walked on the cemented sidewalk. It grew darker and darker as the sun drowned behind the mountains. The shadows grew taller and the evening got chillier. Her hair flowed back freely as the wind blew through it. She clutched her shawl closely to her chest, accumulating as much warmth as possible as her flimsy chiffon dress was not doing a very good job. The streets were deserted, no car or pedestrian in sight. It almost seemed like it was midnight rather than twilight. As the last line of light disappeared from the horizon, ...

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Four reasons to watch Kaisa Hai Naseeban

Recently concluded drama serial Kaisa Hai Naseeban is currently basking in the success of being Pakistan’s most watched drama ever. Brilliantly scripted by Samina Aijaz and well directed by Ahmed Bhatti, the heart-wrenching drama revolves around the tragic story of a girl who finds herself trapped in an abusive marriage. Through a thought-provoking narrative and well-developed characters, the show highlights the importance of tackling physical abuse and other domestic wrongdoings. The story centres on the character of Maryam (Ramsha Khan) whose father, Jamal (Waseem Abbas), is eager to get her married, hoping that it will provide her with a comfortable and secure future. ...

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#TherapistDiaries: Do you think you’re in an abusive marriage?

Her family thought that “she liked being abused by her spouse”. In fact, those were the actual words of her own mother. Her friends and co-workers thought the same. She kept on going back to the husband who embarrassed her in front of people over her appearance and body weight. She kept going back to the husband who used to beat her black and blue, and she had to go to work with bruises on her face. Eventually, he made her leave her job too and the abuse stopped for a while, only to trigger the worst physical and sexual abuse phase ...

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Khudparast: An apt depiction of all that is wrong within our society

Amongst the current trend of depicting social issues and taboos through the medium of TV dramas, the hit show Khudparast takes the lead, as it encompasses everything wrong within our society. The story revolves around the life of a lively girl named Uswa (Ramsha Khan) who doesn’t believe in living by the rules. She has brothers who are all married, and her free spirit is a thorn in the flesh of their wives, as they are constantly plotting to bring her and her older sister, Mariah, down. Their constant hatred towards their sisters-in-law is unbelievable, and yet shockingly uncanny. However, Uswa ...

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#KhadijaTheFighter: Democracy may have won yesterday but justice continues to lose

Khadija Siddiqi’s case and her bravery amidst all the chaos has continued to serve as a lesson for women to hold their heads up high and fight against injustice. A year later, her case is still going strong with the accused bringing forth the most absurd arguments out of desperation to win the case. Clearly, the only thing working in his favour is the power his father holds in the legal fraternity. Siddiqi, a law student at a local college, was stabbed 23 times in broad daylight on May 3, 2016 by 21-year-old Shah Hussain, the son of an influential lawyer, when she had ...

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What is so ‘filthy’ and ‘unnatural’ about reproductive sex, Pakistan?

A close friend of mine recently had an STI (sexually transmitted infection) scare. Despite being in excruciating pain, she was scared to ask her husband how she got the infection. After a few days of discomfort and suffering, she consulted a doctor who put her mind to rest by confirming that she had a yeast infection because of diabetes. But during this whole episode, I was surprised to find out how ignorant she was about sexual health. First, she was adamant that she couldn’t get an STI from her husband because he was absolutely fine, which is irrelevant and factually incorrect because some STIs ...

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An orphan no more

“I’m not hungry today…” I remember I said to myself just as I opened the lid of the still-warm pot resting on top of the stove. The dirty dishes, filled with leftover pieces of roti, took their place on the right side of the stove and the empty water bottles on the other side had once again told me that my family had eaten without me. The cooking pot seldom had anything left for me to eat. Usually, though, it was half-filled with diluted curry. Every evening, I was handed two gigantic, but empty bottles by my aunt, while she prepared the delicious-smelling ...

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It’s about time we talk about suicide

A few months ago, I received a frantic phone call from a friend. He told me his 11-year-old son tried to hang himself. This was not the first time; he had made similar attempts in the past, and also had a history of harming himself. Luckily, the parents had intervened just in time and saved him before it was too late. The father consulted me over the phone – he was broken, and was desperately in search of an answer. He wanted to devise a plan of action that could save his child from further attempts. After many possible interventions, we drafted ...

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I was never his wife, I was only his slave

“I maybe from a  third world country but I have a heart like you do, emotions like you have, and dreams to pursue. On my first Eid as a married girl, I wanted to dress up and celebrate my new beginning instead of being in a hospital bed recovering from the effects of abuse.” I got married in March 2014 in Chicago with dreams of starting a new life and a future built out on love and trust in my new home. My parents were so assured that they were giving me into the hands of an educated guy; someone who ...

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Her husband beat her and other women told her it’s probably her fault

A very recent Facebook discussion on a closed group brought light to an important issue: domestic abuse. The victim, *Humaira said she was distressed about the fact that her husband was not spending time with her so she voiced her concerns. Her husband reacted with anger; he shouted at her and grasped her tightly around the neck.    She then asked them, “Should I leave him?” Whilst there were certain sane voices that urged the woman to leave the hostile environment and remove herself from a dangerous situation, even if it were for a temporary period of time, there were many others ...

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