Stories about parents

Would you get your jaw-wired to lose weight?

“Hey, you have lost weight?” This is a question almost every woman in this world hopes to be asked. Every day, we discuss, think about, act on and cheat on this weight monster. Recently at work, one of my female co-workers proudly announced that her family friends got their daughter’s jaws wired so that she cannot eat or chew. The poor 17-year-old will be living on liquids for the next two years. What is the end result? Of course, she will shed all those ‘extra’ pounds and probably will be able to grab an acha rishta, but how inhumane is that? While listening to ...

Read Full Post

Do your parents a favour and eat at home this Ramazan

According to a recent research, people in Pakistan spend 47.7% of their income on fast food and beverages. If we compare this to the spending patterns of other countries we will realise that this is, in fact, a very high ratio. Eating out is a popular pastime for the people of Pakistan – we are seen at restaurants, food courts and even food stands during festivals and celebrations. Ramazan, ironically, is like a month of food festivities for us. With people choosing different food for sehri and iftar, in Ramazan we are seen frequenting food outlets a lot more than in any ...

Read Full Post

Is it a burden to have four daughters in a Pakistani society?

“Four daughters?” the woman asked, her eyes wide with a mix of horror, pity and fascination. Then, “Mashallah!” A sympathetic smile, followed by, “They are beautiful. May Allah (SWT) bless them with good kismet (fortune)” I can’t count how many times I have heard these sentences being said to my mother. Different women, same words, same connotations each time. For most of my life it did not bother me. I took it in stride. After all, it is a burden to have four daughters in a Pakistani society. To find an educated husband for them, to painstakingly accumulate their dowry, to train them in the art of keeping house; above all to ensure their ...

Read Full Post

10 things my 3-year-old taught me this summer

Summer vacations always bring out an all-new, never-known-before side to kids. Some days are filled with frantic fire fighting and others are just an awe struck pause at what these little ones are capable of. The absence of a school routine and the luxury of designing their own days brings all sorts of surprises. Here are some fun rules I observed this summer: 1. If you haven’t used your toothbrush as a tummy scrub, you’re under utilising its potential. Photo: Giphy 2. Lessons in Physics: All balls, when are thrown upwards towards the ceiling, bounce back. Except the play ...

Read Full Post

Beauty

 “What is beauty, father?” “What do you think?” “I don’t know. I look at this glass in front of us and my eyes spot the reflected light from the glass on the table, and I’m baffled by these patterns, by this beauty which is perfectly still, perfectly independent, and calm.” “So, is beauty only in still and independent objects?” “I don’t think so. When I see the sea or the water inside this glass if it were to be shaken wildly, my eyes start to float along the waves, and I’m once again mesmerised by the water’s endless movement, its indifference, its power, and ...

Read Full Post

A note to the school back-bencher

Dear Back-bencher, How are you? I hope you are doing well. I really wish this from the bottom of my heart. Let me start by saying how sorry I am to judge you. I remember that time in school, when I was a snob and you were the guy who teased everyone, including myself. I was wrong to react the way I did towards your attitude towards life. I would secretly smirk when teachers would scold you. And I know I didn’t even talk to you, but I tried my best to be nice to you, simple because I felt sorry for you. You ...

Read Full Post

Are you failing at being a parent?

I recently came across an article which listed ten common parenting mistakes. It got me thinking about my own parenting skills, or lack thereof. The insecurity about parenting most likely stemmed from my biases that were challenged by that article. I think parenting is made out to be harder than it actually is or should be. The point I’m really trying to make is that in parenting misperceptions are amplified. The so called mistakes simply reflect on the struggle that exists within all of us as human beings, compounded by the fact that we, as parents, are liable to err. The conflict ...

Read Full Post

10 reasons moms have superpowers and dads don’t!

Although parenthood has its pros – where we can make our strongest pains go away by a simple kiss on our children’s forehead – it can also be difficult to handle at times. Therefore, a little appreciation for the tasks our parents do for us is enough to make their day. Hence, keeping the nature of the day in mind, I have attempted to list down 10 reasons why our moms deserve special recognition. (Dads, please don’t feel left out. Remember, Father’s Day is round the corner too, so you’ll get your list as well.) Privacy Dads have the privilege to use the washroom privately, at their ...

Read Full Post

Mother’s Day: Why can’t I meet my children?

They won’t let me see my kids. Failing at marriage is an excruciating affair, but not a punishable crime. So why do we witness so many families suffering endlessly when there are four guardian courts working in Lahore alone? Is it the workload, absence of supporting law or mere lack of implementation that keeps a child from meeting one of the parents? None of the people I meet understand why I cannot see my kids. Even a sick-minded killer, an abuser or an addict has a right to meet his children under supervision. The law governing custody issues does need amendments, but it’s the ...

Read Full Post

Common sense, not so common in Pakistan: 12-month-old baby told to appear in court, what’s next?

Pakistan would make developmental psychologists all over the world proud. Asian children (namely those from Hong Kong, Singapore and Shangai) seem to be smarter to the world. But children in our part of the world (vis-à-vis the subcontinent) are not far behind. Our kids are more social and streetwise, owing to the joint family systems prevalent in a collectivist society such as ours. Our skins are thicker and our minds are sharper. But our police seem to have gone one step ahead of us in this analysis, unfortunately. Sure our kids are smart, but criminally smart? Apparently, our law enforcement authorities think so. A few ...

Read Full Post