Stories about fan

Why did the Indian film industry churn out such horrendous movies in 2016?

The be all and end all of movies for some, while a bad joke masquerading as cinema for others, Bollywood is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma. But yet, every single year, it manages to churn out films that are indisputably bad and 2016 was no different. So, in no particular order, let the bashing begin. 1) Fan: Rather watch a ceiling fan Fan is Shah Rukh Khan’s attempt to marry the only two characters he could act out, the wacky (Darr etc.) and the silly (Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa etc.), before he became the irritatingly tiresome Rahul and the tediously boring ...

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The story behind my film, Maalik – From the horse’s mouth

Maalik is in the midst of a huge controversy; all kinds of motives are being attributed to my film and, although everyone is entitled to their own views, I thought a straight narrative from the one who knows Maalik the best may help. A brief intro before going further: I was born in Quetta and proudly call Balochistan my home. I am ethnically a Punjabi and my ancestral roots may be connected to a village near Nankana sahib in the district of Sheikhupura, near Lahore. Being a common man, I have little use for title, surname and caste and I have never used my ...

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I’d rather watch a ceiling fan than Shah Rukh’s Fan!

A disclaimer of sorts before I begin this piece; I have never been a huge Shah Rukh Khan (SRK) fan (no pun intended).  Au contraire, even back in the day when everyone and their dog was drooling over his excessively exaggerated psychotic characters in Darr (1993), Baazigar (1993), Anjaam (1994) and Ram Jaane (1995), I found Shah Rukh Khan’s quirkiness more exasperating than endearing. I mean, okay I get it – you pulled off a deranged anti-hero successfully once, but why in God’s name would you don the same eccentric avatar over and over again that is bound to be milked dry in no time? Fortunately ...

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As we bid adieu to American Idol, the legacy lingers on

The American singing competition, American Idol unfortunately meets its finale this year. Created by Simon Fuller based on the British series Pop Idol grasped my attention since its very first season in 2002. Being a fan of the idol platform, American idol had me glued to the screen for at least nine consecutive seasons. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t missed any season over all, but the anticipation decreased significantly as Simon Cowell left the judges panel. I mean, I’m a fan of Jennifer Lopez, but only as an artist, not too sure about her as a judge. Simon Cowell and ...

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Appeasing the meat-eater in you with this Pakistani styled stir-fried spicy minced meat

As a kid I was never a mutton, beef or milk fan. I was scolded a tonne by Ammi and Nana (maternal grandfather) for that. I was told that I would never grow tall enough or excel in class or be physically fit. Turns out, I achieved all of that without eating much meat protein throughout my adolescent years. However, something else happened as well. As I became an adult and moved away from Pakistan, the flavours and tastes that I took for granted came back to me as a longing. I missed eating the very things I despised as a kid. And mutton was one of ...

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No, I’m not a football fan – bite me Suarez

I don’t follow football! Yes, I don’t have a favourite team – the closest I have ever gotten to it was when I played FIFA video games with my friends or back when Ronaldo had not gotten a hair transplant and was not such a Prince Charming lookalike; oh wait, that’s not the same guy – that explains a lot. By the way, we must limit the number of Ronaldos in one era, so that it’s easy to remember who is who. They are becoming the Khans of soccer. Exactly the way people from Rawalpindi think its cooler to live in ‘Pind’ rather than Islamabad, ...

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The psyche of a Pakistani cricket fan and the shameless vanity of passion

To understand the psyche of a Pakistani, you first have to understand what it means to love and hate at the same time. This is not semantics. It is truly a reality. To understand the degree of pain our hearts have already endured, you have to understand the depth of hope our hearts are still willing to go to. Finally, if you want to understand the paradox that is Pakistan, you will have to take the leap of faith and understand that one cricket field with a few men in green has the capacity to undo more mental damage than all the ...

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The 7 stages of grief a Pakistani cricket fan experiences

It’s not easy to be a Pakistan cricket fan, really. Now that the country is deprived of home games, the team is always on tour, which consequently increases the challenge to perform and win games. Simultaneously, supporters have to tune into live telecasts at odd hours of the day – sometimes dawn, sometimes midnight. The fans continue to do so, but off late, as a result of the team’s dismal displays, high blood pressure might be on its way to becoming a common illness in the nation. Pakistan has never quite been a consistent outfit, but lately, failures have considerably outnumbered ...

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India’s ‘small hearts’ and Afridi’s big mouth

I’ve never been Afridi’s biggest fan. But his recent form with the ball, and his leadership in the World Cup changed my mind…well, sort of. I have always found him to be mercurial. From scoring a hundred in 30-40 balls to getting out after playing the most atrocious shot in the books, Afridi has even bitten into a cricket ball. A day after his return to Pakistan, he held a brief press conference on his front porch. Lala fired back to a question asked by one of the reporters regarding Pakistan’s defeat against India. He questioned why Pakistanis look towards India with ...

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A cricket fan, no more

While my countrymen are arranging special prayers for the Pakistan cricket team to take on India on March 30 in the World Cup semi-finals, I cannot help but think how emotional our nation is. The height of ecstasy regarding cricket in Pakistan has made the public demand a holiday on the day of the upcoming match. Similarly, in India, many are willing to pay Indian Rs10,000 for a ticket worth INR1,000, through the black market. I, on the other hand, have boycotted the mania, as I have lost hope in my team. This is what happens when an emotional fan – ...

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