Stories about domestic abuse

When did I become your favourite punching bag?

Have you ever hoped for silence? Have you waited for minutes, hours and even days for the absence of words, conversation and noise? I find myself here more often than I should. Sitting at my bedside questioning my life and sanity, wondering what path I took that brought me here. A path I question but very well know; the curves and bumps on each and every step. This isn’t a new occurrence, it happens often and every time I tell myself I will soon escape this moment of craving pure silence. I feel like a caged bird, clipped off of her wings and fragile ...

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Big Little Lies delves deeper than rich people and their rich people problems

On the surface and from its trailer, Big Little Lies seems like a trashy (albeit high quality) show about rich people and their rich people problems, with a little murder thrown in. The HBO show is based on Liane Moriarty’s novel  of the same name and is brimming with stars. It’s safe to say that recently, just about everyone has been talking about this show. There are schoolyard squabbles among parents, marriages crumbling from the inside, and glass houses with breathtaking views of the beach. But what the show actually brings is empathy to all its characters, even the ones that start off as clichés. Right ...

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Are acid attacks becoming a commonality in the UK because they are treated as a minor offence?

Picture the following domestic scene: A woman hovering over a tawwa (stove), folding dough balls whilst the gas flame flickers gently under the cast iron. Behind her, a shadowy figure, wanting no blame and careful to hide their presence, opens up the cylindrical lever on the gas supply. Barely an instant passes before the light hits her eyes; eyes which will never be able to see themselves in a reflection in quite the same way. This was the old way, my mother tells me. This punishment for women, for what was perceived to be a social crime (normally domestic), would result in a woman becoming ...

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Why Muslim women need to stop justifying domestic violence in the name of religion

Muslim men are allowed to hit their wives – not with fists, but gently using only short sticks and pieces of fabric, as per a video recently released by the Australian women’s branch of Hizbut Tahrir. The video, posted on the Islamic political group Hizbut Tahrir’s Facebook page, shows two Australian Muslim women from Sydney telling a small audience of veiled women that Muslim husbands are in a position of leadership in ­a marriage and “it goes hand-in-hand that he would have the right to undertake disciplinary ­measures”. The verse under discussion proposes three potential responses to unfaithfulness on part of the wife, namely, admonishing them, abandoning ...

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Khuda Mera Bhi Hai: A game changer for Pakistan’s dramasphere

Pakistani dramas are always under fire for portraying the ‘weepy woman’ and the ‘naik perveens’ that seem to have no spine or are always victimised. People tell me that I must have nerves of steel to watch dramas that are full of tears and misery.  Well, I do. But that’s not the end of it. There is a gradual change that’s happening in the Pakistani dramasphere. Women are taking on risky roles and writers are writing scripts where women don’t have to spend at least 20 out of 24 episodes crying about their husbands and their mother-in-laws. One recent game changer that has aired on ...

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I was 16 when I was forced to marry a stranger and move to Canada

When I was a kid, my only goal was to get a good education. I dreamt of attending Harvard or Stanford, and planned to become a doctor one day. I was the eldest of four daughters in a Pakistani Muslim family. We lived in Ruwais, a small town in the United Arab Emirates, where my father worked in an oil plant and my mother was a teacher. At school, I always stood out among the girls in my class—I was brash, clever, outspoken. I took pride in acing every test. When I brought home top marks, my father would ...

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Sang e Mar Mar: Truly a masterpiece

As most of you already must know, Sang e Mar Mar is now inching towards its finale with its plotline coming to a heartbreaking and poignant end. (Warning: spoilers ahead.) In a shattering episode, three deaths simultaneously occur: Safiullah kills Saifurrehman to take revenge of his brother Gauhar’s death, Torah Khan kills Safiullah at the same time to avenge the cruelty Safiullah’s father inflicted upon Torah Khan’s mother – and he does this to make it look as it was Saifurrehman who killed Safiullah. In another place, Gulalai is hit by a bus as she is coming back to the ...

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Your husband beat you up? No worries, now you can cover it up with makeup

A Moroccan TV show recently taught women how to cover up bruises they got as a result of domestic violence. After a lot of hue and cry, the video was removed but it still sparked outrage on social media, and Moroccan rights groups were extremely vocal about insisting that the show be cancelled completely. But let’s take a step back, shall we. Let’s go back to the moment the producer and the team of that show actually decided that this feather-brained idea would be a great seller. Let’s go back to the moment where everyone said, “Hey, you know what would be fantastic? If ...

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I Let You Go by Clare Macintosh is even better than JK Rowling’s Career of Evil

Blustering rain makes the road wet and the view foggy. A mother lets go of her five-year-old son for a minute – and a car mercilessly hits him. Soon after, while Detective Inspector Ray is still working on the hit-and-run, the grieving mother is forced to leave town, as the neighbours blame her for her son’s death. A few months later, Jenna Gray is arrested for the death of five-year-old Jacob. We all love stories that hold the power to give us goosebumps and sleepless nights. But stories that emerge from the truth leave us with a lot more than just ...

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Is it really the working class men who stop privileged women from ‘doing their own thing’?

Yesterday, we shared the Do Your Own Thing (DYOT) video with our take on it. The video was taken down last night, so our post has disappeared… along with all the shares made from this page. For the sake of the on-going discussion on social media right now, we are re-posting our comments again: This video has recently been shared a lot and the feelings many people expressed have been mixed. We think it is useful to talk more about it and add to the conversation. Firstly, kudos to these girls. This could not have been easy to do. We have to be ...

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