Stories about divorce

Education will not end wife beating, Pakistan needs a cultural shift

Domestic violence – a truly horrific term, to which only its victims can truly relate, is another one of the many plagues Pakistan suffers from. Honestly, I had never thought much about it. I knew what it meant and I knew it existed but that was the extent of my thoughts on the matter, probably because I have never experienced or witnessed it and so I could not relate to it. Or probably because, like so many of us, the bubble of my privileged social setup never gave me a window into this terrifying reality that engulfs many women. But the biggest ...

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Hrithik Roshan and Suzanne Khan split: Get your nose out of my business!

Remember the last argument that you had with your husband? The one in which you were both on the way to a party and you had to hurriedly blink back your tears and wipe away the mascara streaks running down your face? You had almost reached the venue and you had both been arguing the entire way. But what happened as you made your way into your friend’s house? Your husband put his arm around your waist, you both donned your ‘we-are-so-happy smiles’ and you made the rounds as if there was not a wrinkle in your seemingly perfect married ...

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10 situations which highlight why educating women is vital in Pakistan

Being the daughter of a surgeon, and being a lawyer myself, I hear and read stories everyday about how certain mishaps which have occurred could have been avoided with the simple proviso: education.  The government needs to encourage the right of women to be educated. Listed below are 10 real-life situations where education would have prevented unfortunate outcomes. 1)  A woman who is encouraged to abort a daughter or is killed or divorced upon producing daughters. If she was educated, the woman would know that the gender of a baby is decided by the male sperm and not by a woman’s eggs. This is basic ...

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10 reasons why you should NOT marry a Pakistani man

1. ‘Ammi jaan’ – the famous monster-in… I mean mother-in-law. She is the idolised queen of the domestic domain, ‘lovingly’ referred to as Ammi jaan.  Her precise duties can vary from lovingly criticising you in front of your husband, taunting you with scathing remarks while your husband is not around and haunting you in the middle of the night, even in the privacy of your own bedroom! She will not forgive you for the smallest of mistakes and enjoys watching you squirm in your chair, embarrassed. She will not allow you to change anything in the house, even though the ‘you’re just like my daughter’ ...

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My father divorced my mother because she gave birth to me, a girl

A few days ago, a newborn baby girl was dumped in a garbage heap by an unidentified woman in Faisalabad. No one realised there was a baby until the heap was set on fire and the cries of the baby girl alerted the garbage collector. She was taken to hospital with more than three-fourth of her body burnt. Unfortunately, the doctors could not save her. Female infanticide is still very common in Pakistan. It is sad to see that even in the 21st century the birth of a female is considered a stigma. When my eldest sister Tena* was born (we are three sisters ...

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STOP fighting, marital conflicts impact your children!

Imagine a wrestling match – the referees run around the ring, give signals to wrestlers, all the while being on the receiving end of a never-ending stream of abuse from both wrestlers. Now, imagine a child who lost the genetic lottery and ended up with parents who constantly quarrel. I would think that such a child would be subject to a similar amount of stress and anxiety to that experienced by WWE referees. Most couples have probably been through the experience of being in a heated negotiation when they suddenly looked around to find their child standing wide-eyed in a ...

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Far from reality: Kankar and its depiction of divorced women

When I started watching Kankar, I was happy that there was finally a Pakistani play that depicted a strong independent woman who was not willing to bend down to the whims and fancies of our patriarchal society. The central character of this Pakistani prime time serial is a brave woman named Kiran standing up to her so called “Mijaazi Khuda” (husband) to fight for her rights. Instead of the usual victimised daughters-in-law, the character is one that many women will be able to relate to and perhaps find hope or salvation in, knowing that it is alright to stand up against domestic ...

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Kankar: Standing up for the abused woman

Hum TV has outdone itself once again by airing the drama serial, Kankar, which is unfortunately, the story of every other household in Pakistan. What is even more remarkable is that as the plot unfolds, we find the lead actress making decisions that most would not have the guts to make in real life.   In this serial, Hum brings to light the matter of physical abuse, highlighting that this downright degradation of women is not limited to the lower echelon of society; in fact, it is prevalent among the educated and affluent class as well. Marvellously penned by Umera Ahmed – the author ...

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Let’s give Shaista Wahidi a break

Shaista Wahidi, sometimes referred to as Dr Shaista or Shaista Lodhi is Sahir Lodhi’s sister. The brother-sister duo have a way of ruffling both the wrong feathers and the right ones; they can be called ‘famous’ or ‘infamous’. Shaista is one of Pakistani television’s most known faces. People have loved her and have been irritated by her simultaneously, but have not been able to ignore her. We have talked about her antics, her typical laughter in which she covers her face with her hand, her metamorphosis in how her face looks and have broken her down multiple times. One of the most ...

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Ask Sayeda: What are the grounds for divorce?

I’m from a pretty well to do segment of Pakistani society. Have been working for 10 years, and am on the brink of divorce. Being fairly spiritual, I wanted to know what is your opinion about what is too far in a marriage — what would be the grounds for divorce? I have lived with some minor physical fights that had more emotional trauma than physical; lived through ‘emotional’ affairs where my husband has been inappropriate with a woman online; and have also faced living in one room in my in-laws house because my husband does not financially support me, ...

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