Stories about control

#TherapistDiaries: Deep affection or just toxic possessiveness?

She was the prettiest one in her big family. The most eligible bachelors of the family had animosity between them because of her. Each of them felt possessive towards her and did not like other contenders approaching her. The two strongest candidates among them even ended up in a physical brawl due to their jealousy. Sounds familiar? This was a story on National Geographic about a certain species of monkeys. Humans aren’t much different, are they? Recently, I was watching the Indian drama film, Kabir Singh, and noticed that a huge number of people praised it for its portrayal of affection. However, what the ...

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Easy way out: Stop blaming drugs, porn for Kasur’s child abuse cases and address the real reasons

Kasur, a city with a population of 3,454,996, has seen rising incidences of sexual violence, including child sexual abuse. This city has seen 700 cases of child sexual abuse in the last three years. Faces of little Zainab Ansari and the victims of the series of child sexual abuse scandal that involved at least 280 boys are still fresh in mind. The federal Ombudsman recently brushed many reasons under the carpet by using common buzzwords and only blamed drugs, pornography and prostitution for the increase in sexual violence against children. My contention is that the Ombudsman has taken an extremely narrow approach in understanding a complex, ...

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Tempted to commit adultery? Indonesian governor says ‘Go pray!’

Are you afraid that you will be so attracted to the opposite sex that you will forget your vows to your significant other? Are you afraid that your sexual urges will no longer be in your control and if you’re an employer, you will most definitely sexually harass your employees? If yes, it may be time for you to move to Indonesia. A governor in Indonesia has found a cure for adultery – prayer. Apparently, he has never known an adulterer who prays five times a day. Either that or he feels that the longer he keeps men and women on the prayer mat, ...

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Banish the CII

In a more civilised society where progress is equated with innovation, technological advancement and competitiveness, the recent ‘suggestions’ put forth by the Council of Islamic Ideology (CII) and its band of brothers would certainly have been political suicide. This ‘advisory’ body – which has remained dormant until its ineptness surfaced – has proved itself to only serve as a control mechanism as to how people should live and conduct their lives, as is the case with all religiously sanctioned forums. The clerics, who constitute the CII, and many of their kind elsewhere, have served one and one purpose only: societal control for self-fulfilment. Because ...

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Ladies, don’t opt for abortions!

Florynce R Kennedy once said, “If men could get pregnant, abortion would have been a sacrament.” My maid refuses to take any birth control measures because her husband considers them to be a ‘yahoodi saazish’ (Jewish conspiracy) to sterilise the ‘flourishing’ Pakistani nation – just like the superstitions concerning polio drops. However, she doesn’t mind going to the local dai to get an abortion – illegally of course. When I admonish her and tell her that she will get herself killed, she replies, “Baji aap ko kia pata… woh bari tajrabakar hai. Bohat aurtain aati hain us ke paas aur bus kuch ke ilawah kabhi koi mari nahi hai.” (Ma’am ...

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10-year-old boy shoots mother: What happened to gun control?

Earlier this week in Lahore, a 10-year-old boy shot his mother with a 12 bore gun. This boy wasn’t waging a jihad against drone strikes or attempting to rise against the status quo. He shot his mother because the reason was simple: our gun control laws are weak. Access to guns is easy. In Pakistan, out of every 100 people, 11 people have guns. In a country where rule of law is supposed to be a part of the constitution, bearing guns is what has resulted in tribal states as well as areas where the rule of law comes much ...

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Imran Khan: Check yourself before you wreck yourself!

Imran Khan is a dying phenomenon. He seems to be losing the fan base that he had gathered up in the last five to six years. His supporters and voters seem to be losing hope in him and the young generation, especially first-time voters, feel like they have been left in limbo with nowhere else to go. There was nothing surprising about Imran’s ascent in the political arena. People were tired of the same old faces, the same broken promises and needed a new ideal to latch on to. Consequently, most people followed Imran blindly, without giving any consideration to his ...

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Why porn is popular in Pakistan

It’s late at night and the hands of the clock signal that it is just past midnight. The whole family is sound asleep with the sole exception of a young man sitting on the bed, with the laptop right in front of him. To anyone, including his family, it seems as if he’s studying, or working on an important project, or checking out the latest headlines online or watching innocent, comical clips on YouTube. All it takes is a peek over the shoulder and all is not what it seems. This scenario is part of an average, everyday lifestyle for ...

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‘Xbox on!’

The gaming market just got a lot more competitive (and physically exerting). Kinect for Xbox 360 was released last week which means all leading videogame consoles now have motion based gaming support. Sony launched the PlayStation Move last month while Nintendo’s Wii has had the feature since 2006. A Kinect can be bought for abot Rs20,000 in the local market while a PS Move controller with its sensor costs half that. What is cool about Kinect Kinect is a completely new take on motion-based input as it requires no physical controllers to control a game. As Microsoft’s tagline goes, “you are ...

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What it’s like not being on Facebook

I seldom go out. When I do, every time I meet new people, the goodbyes invariably include: “Keep in touch. Are you on Facebook?”  And I answer, not like most people: “Uh! Sorry! I’m not.” Yes, I don’t have a Facebook account. This declaration is usually greeted with surprise, even shock. People start reiterating the advantages of being on Facebook, and how it has made not just searching for old friends and contacts so easy, but also ‘to be searched’. However, the monotonous explanations of all that is great about Facebook – being able to keep in touch with others ...

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