What MI 4 taught me

Published: December 22, 2011
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Mission Impossible 4 showcases a UAE that looks like a third world country as compared to India. PHOTO: PUBLICITY

Mission Impossible 4 present a lot of inaccuracies. PHOTO: AFP The movie showcases camels just sauntering down the highways of Dubai. PHOTO: PUBLICITY Mission Impossible 4 showcases a UAE that looks like a third world country as compared to India. PHOTO: PUBLICITY

In a weak moment, I decided to watch Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol. I got roped into watching this movie despite the fact that I am not a fan of MI3, and I haven’t even seen MI1 or 2.

Yet, sometimes in life you just have to sit back and be grateful; I am grateful that I watched MI4 because it taught me a few invaluable lessons. Please find below a list of things I learned from this movie (in order of appearance), and note that a few of these might be spoilers.

  • American agents can plant/overtake surveillance cameras inside high-security Russian prisons. They can also control their electronic lock systems, and execute the escape of a high profile agent. It is all a mere walk in the park for them.
  • There is a server in a room on the 129th floor of Burj Khalifa which has a code; the safety of USA depends on this code. Moreover, this information is available in Russia. The only way to reach the server room is by climbing over the walls of the Burj, wearing magic gloves. This Burj Khalifa stunt lasted shorter than Kim Kardashian’s marriage, by the way.
  • Dubai still has flocks of camels just sauntering down highways.
  • The Dubai police will never show up no matter what you do. You can break multiple windows of the world’s tallest building, climb on it casually, throw people out of its windows, plant cameras in its hotel rooms, shoot people on its escalators – and piles more. The police will not disturb you.
  • Dubai can have sudden sand storms coming from the beach side (yes, sand storms from the beach side).
  • When you run out of the Burj Khalifa in a sand storm, you end up in an old traditional Arab town straight from Arabian nights.
  • You can chase your enemies in a BMW coupe, which hits other cars at high speed without getting a scratch on it until it crashes on a bridge. You can still lose your enemy though, who escapes in an Isuzu pickup truck.
  • Russians can fire nuclear missiles at America from India. Missile codes are safe with the Indians.
  • Anyone can get access to extremely high-end parties in Mumbai; the kind of parties where waiters carry cell phones on trays.
  • Mumbai has better infrastructure and finer cars than Dubai. In fact, UAE is presented as a third-world country as compared to India. Don’t be surprised if you hear that Sheikhs are looking for jobs in India.
  • There are more BMWs in the world than there are sheep in New Zealand.
  • After an electricity breakdown, a server takes less than one second to completely reboot and function properly. It doesn’t require any restart authentication even if it is about to stop nuclear missiles.
  • Only one second before hitting its target, if a button is pressed in India, a nuclear missile targeted at San Francisco softly hits a building and falls into the water without making any noise whatsoever.
  • Secret agents cannot meet their wives but they can wave at them from a distance.
  • No matter how yummy the nachos and salsa sauce are, you won’t have enough to keep you entertained throughout the movie.

sami.saayer

Sami Saayer

A Dubai based Pakistani looking for excuses to write.

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.