Khalilur Rehman and the fragile male ego

“Tera jism hai kya! Thookta nahi koi mard uske upper, shakal dekh apni ja k!”

(What about your body? No man would even spit on it, go look at your face.)

Let these words sink in.

Can the thought process that drives these words stem from anything other than crass objectification, blatant disregard and a deeply embedded lack of respect for women?

Ponder over this for a second. A man, if that is the appropriate term for a person such as Khalilur Rehman Qamar, abuses, curses and humiliates a woman on live television in the most vile manner possible. The programme's anchor merely sits there, referring to him as “sahab,” the colonial term used to address people of a supposedly higher class. The anchor does not call out the man for his inappropriate words and instead, asks the woman to wait for her turn to speak. No attempts are made to censor his words, because obviously, there is no need to do so. Why would there be? Our society gives men the absolute right and liberty of being vulgar and inappropriate, both privately and publicly. Censorship only exists for women so that it can be used to censor women's bodies and their words, an imposition that has been placed on them by men to protect them from men. Even after 12,000 years of patriarchy, it is still impossible to come to terms with such fallacious rationale.

During the televised debate on why the Aurat March should and should not happen, this self-proclaimed women-centric, (read: egoistic misogynistic) author highlighted just how frivolous it is for women to even contemplate asking for freedom of expression.

“Shut up! Beech main mat bolo tum!”

(Do not interrupt!).

He verbally spat at Marvi Sarmad during their exchange on television, clearly exemplifying his readiness to give her ample opportunity to express herself as has been given to women for many ages. Obviously this is not abuse. This is not oppression. This is the reason why the Aurat March should not happen because men have always afforded women such generous opportunities of being publicly humiliated and harassed. No wonder they cannot even begin to fathom as to why women are demanding more rights. What more could they possibly want?

“Apna jism dekh ja k!” 

(Go look at your body!)

What is this statement, if not an eloquent expression of admiration for the bodies of more than half the population of this planet? Shakal, jism, aukat, this clearly what an aurat is all about. How dare one argue that she is equal to a man? She is much more; she is an object to be ogled at, laughed at, a toy to be played with and then discarded. Anyone who thinks or says otherwise is senseless, idiotic and holds the wrong concept of “oppression of women”. This was argued in the petition filed against the Aurat March in the Lahore High Court by the petitioner’s counsel,

“We are just talking about slogans like ‘mera jism, meri marzi’ (my body, my choice). A perception is being created through such activities perhaps that we are oppressing women.”

Read again. Perhaps we are oppressing women. Perhaps. Oh the naivety!

A beautiful illustration of this train of thought has been exemplified by Rehman on live television for the world to see, for one must not confuse our societal values with oppression anymore. These women, who stand for the Aurat March, fail to appreciate the inordinate amount of respect they receive from such men in our society. These men spare no opportunity to show just how much they respect women by abusing them at home, harassing them at the workplace, by caging them, by raping them and by constantly reminding them about their place in society as nothing more than a mere object to be used by men, with the utmost respect of course. In fact, they respect women so much, they prefer that they not be born at all to begin with, in order to protect young girls from the likes of themselves.

We've had it all wrong. Women are not the oppressed gender, men are. They have done nothing but protect women from themselves by caging women inside their houses, strangling their words and starving their brains because that is how it should be. They raise their boys to oppress girls and they raise their girls to fear their oppressors. Kudos to the patriarchy and the fragile male ego to whom I dedicate the following ode.

Tu hai kya, tera jism kya hai!

Main aurat hoon, mera jism meri marzi hai.

Thookta nahi hai koi mard tere jism ke uper!

Thook ke dikhaye koi mard uski aukat kya hai?

Apna jism dekh ja ke, shakal apni ja ke dekh!

Khuda ka diya jism, uski banayi shakal teri majal kya hai?

Tere jism main hai kya uspe marzi chalata kaun hai!

Mera jism meri pehchan, uspe marzi chalana mera haq ‘haisiat-e-insan hai!

What are you, what is your body?

I am a woman, my body, my choice.

No one will spit on your or your body.

The men cannot dare to, who are they anyway?

Go look at your body and your face!

God gave me the body and the face, you dare challenge Him?

Nothing lies in your body and who would want to police it!

My body is my identity, and my will is my human right!