Where have all the good men gone?

Published: June 8, 2011
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Where are the men one wants to turn around look at?

Pakistani women are so obsessed with… Pakistani men, marriage, mating and all things marital.

Can you blame us? With a huge plethora of Adonis look-alikes bustling in every nook and cranny of this purest of pure land of ours, how can we, the ‘weak’ women, keep a tab on our feelings?

Every man in this country is so refined, so gentle, so well read, high in character, solid in convictions, true to himself – a hero personified.

A Pakistani man is unique in body, mind and spirit – put on this land for the pure pleasure and delight of Pakistani women — an ungrateful being who is forever thankless to God, who in her sheer ignorance and lack of knowledge fails to see the apparent goodness in the men of this country.

With such blessed potential males in sight, what does the poor Pakistani woman do?

They get all panicky about snagging the next guy, hence the preoccupation with marriage and all things marital.

The intrinsic goodness of the man draws forth the survival instincts of the Pakistani woman; she has to capture him and make sure that the Pakistani race is preserved in all its goodness.

So to the perfect men of this world: don’t blame us if we cannot control ourselves and give in to your charisma and magic, and want to marry you, even if you are already married to another perfect creature of your clan and have a large number of  offspring with her. We just cannot control ourselves.

Seriously though…

Where are they?

Good looking men may not exist in Pakistan – but how about intelligent, manly, chivalrous, generous, polite men?

Where have they all gone? (gone obviously implies that they did once roam these not so green pastures, and I don’t really know why I feel that there once did exist such a species which has hitherto ceased to exist.)

Everywhere I venture, I see bloated, used-up, paunchy, balding, sweaty, uncouth, dishevelled, unattractive men.

The men around this city, country, I should add, are just not pleasant to look at.

I see men behind wheels, driving around, balding, not ageing gracefully, swollen puffy-eyed toads instead of men.

In offices: there sits behind desks an uncomfortable-with-myself sort of person, inevitably not-too-happy-with-wife written all over his face, sitting endlessly on their behinds waiting for Ms Luck to come knocking on their door in the form of a lovely sexy woman!

In public places: there are two kinds of men, hen-pecked idiots who are carrying the shopping bags of their hefty wives in tow and stealing glances at other women. And, straight up lecherous ones who have nothing better to do than stare at women.

Both kinds are obnoxious to the hilt for obvious reasons.

Then, you have the uber rich, trendy guys, the ‘hip’ and ‘in’ ones, they spend half the time in salons plucking their eyebrows, and the other half looking at themselves in the mirror. They are the heavy drinking, mad party kind, who want a bottle and some coke every night and hello… that’s unacceptable.

We also have the ubiquitous ‘available’ man, who is such a bore (explaining why he is available) that you would be far more entertained by a monkey at the beach than his laborious talk.

So, the circle complete, I am where I started from, that is wondering where all the good men have gone.

I want a man who is clean, and clean cut and most importantly a man with style, a man who can carry a conversation, a man who makes you laugh and not by cracking lewd jokes, a man who knows stuff, stuff about the universe, about the earth, the world, history, literature and art. A man who has travelled and can talk beyond tales of the women he had on these travels. A man with manly qualities such as reliability, strength, caring for those who are weaker than him, a man of honour!

Where is such a man to be found?

Lubna Khan

Lubna Khan

An ex-civil servant and literature buff who is a full time mom to a 12-year-old.

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.