Media Watchdog
Pakistan, the media hog

Pakistan, the media hog

How boring international news would be if it weren't for us Pakistanis.

Ghazala Akbar May 17, 2011

Pakistan loves being the centre of attention in the world media. Look at the fodder we provide. Every few months we're in the news. Not a measly column or two on the inside pages. Not even the last item before the weather.

No!

We make Headline news! Breaking news! Live coverage!

For all the wrong reasons, we are a publicist's dream client. We don't even demand payment. We are ready for 24/7 non-stop coverage, exclusive photos, interviews and we give all of it for free! This is some serious collective national talent. PR companies are studying our methods. Universities are funding researches. People everywhere are asking:

How do we manage to do it?

How do we always hog the headlines seemingly effortlessly?

Every news editor reserves space for us when he designs his final layout. Newscasters have one ear tuned to keep a look out for the ‘P’ word. Twitterati are up all night. Journalists keep an open air ticket to Islamabad tucked away in their briefcases. Bags are always packed. Everyone's ready to drop everything at the mention of the word ‘Pakistan.’

Major media events these days are being planned with us in mind. I bet you Kate and William were on tenterhooks all day, hoping we wouldn't upstage their big day. When Kate entered Westminster Abbey, Harry turned, smiled and said to William “Relax bro, no news from Pakistan today!” Phew!

Luckily for William, Obama took a whole day to digest the information the CIA gave him. Otherwise, millions around the world would have missed out on her dress and the royal kiss. All eyes would be transfixed on A- BOT- A - BAD!

Poor ol' Qaddafi. He lost a son. They bombed the hell out of his villa but it hardly caused a ripple in the media. The Arab spring is wilting this summer. It was and should be the big story but we've grabbed the attention - again.

Sorry Syria, you just have to wait your turn. Hamas and Fatah, be quiet - we're reporting live from Islamabad!

Assassinations, suicide bombers, gun-battles, terrorists, drugs, crooked politicians, match- fixers, spot- fixers and bigamists - you name it, we've been through it. Nature doesn't spare us either. If it’s not a man-made disaster, we encounter dramatic natural calamities like earthquakes and floods of biblical proportions.

But nothing beats the recent mother- of-all-blunders – The Bin Laden episode. Even by our high standards, this was something spectacular. We did it - big time!

How boring the news would be if it weren't for us Pakistanis.

I love being a Pakistani. Honest. I just wish it was for the right reasons.

WRITTEN BY:
Ghazala Akbar A graduate from University of Karachi, currently based in Karachi, who is interested in writing and cricket.

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necassarily reflect the views and policies of the Express Tribune.

COMMENTS (15)

Sok Kwu Wan | 12 years ago | Reply Whether one should visit a country or not can be easily determined by which foreign correspondents are reporting from there. If they are the kind of reporters that only go somewhere if they can wear a bullet proof vest, avoid the area. If it's John Simpson, flee!

Samm | 12 years ago | Reply Excellent article! Would love to read more ...

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Bangash | 12 years ago | Reply Great article. Pakistan must have been the absolute best posting for any foreign journalist as well as foreign news desk editor. Non-stop violence, floods, earthquakes, political instability, you name it Pakistan has it! Perhaps if we rebrand ourselves as "Extreme Tourism" we could do some good business.

Sidra Raheem | 12 years ago | Reply Some media groups have become a mafia of black mailers and constantly dancing at the jingles of opposition and establishment's gestures. It is common psychology of human being that whenever we discuss negative aspect of some thing, positive aspect also comes under consideration but carefully anaylze some churnalists,like Hamid Mir,Kamran Khan, Dr Shaid Masood, Shaheen Sehbai, Ansar Abbasi, Maqbool Orya Jan and sort of other writers,they always seen maligning image of government. You will always find them discussing negative aspects of governance. Even BISP was a great job by government but they did not even utter a single word of appreciation. Senate elections were a great mile stone but they did not dare to laud government. Employee’s stock scheme was truely democratic step but they did not felicitate government. It is just because their agenda is to knock out this government for they are assigned this job by opposition and establishment. They are hate mongers and nothing else. They are facilitated by their masters for this very task. I am afraid such yellow journalists can even go against nstional interests if foreign elements offer them olive branch. Please wake up against these goons of black mailers and black sheep.

Kamran Rasool | 12 years ago | Reply In its efforts to please the establishment, the media has clearly gone overboard in defending terrorists and a Judiciary that has lost all respect for the Constitution of Pakistan. Pro Establishment channels have several Islamist extremist anchors who are hell bent in egging on the Judiciary to dismiss an elected Government. Some of these anchors even write for Jihadi rags under pseudonyms. Lately, their slander against the elected PPP-lead government has reached new levels and after being continually exposed for their lies, the Pakistani media is like the boy who cried wolf utterly devoid of any credibility!. On the other hand Independent media analysts (e.g. Abbas Ather, Nadeem Paracha, Ayaz Amir, Kamran Shafi etc) have directly or indirectly criticized the unprofessional anti-PPP campaign a media group. The media and journalist community of Pakistan consists largely of sellouts who spewed poison against Bhutto when he was alive. The continued this tradition with Benazir and after shedding a few crocodile tears for her, they have resumed with President Zardari.”

Abhinav | 12 years ago | Reply Very true blog. Pak has natural talent for being in lime light. I don't think any other country can provide so much masala.

Show-eb | 12 years ago | Reply I really don't understand why people bring India in their discussions. The article is about Pakistan being splashed around in a negative way. Even the movie "Thor" has this scene where the hero is captured by the FBI and guess what they ask him? "Were you trained in Pakistan,....?". The thing is: Pakistanis have become the pariah nation across the globe. They are still arrogant and spiteful. The TIMES magazine reported after the joint parliamentary session: "Pakistan is still DEFIANT". So, is there any hope for Pakistanis to become humble and acceptable?

Irfan | 12 years ago | Reply Brilliant. But then I may be baised towards my cousin. ;-)

ani | 12 years ago | Reply Very well written. Americans and Indians must be thinking if it weren't for them, how boring would the news be for Pakistanis. This is yet another reason why these two 'outsiders' are always involved in everything in Pakistan.

Maria | 12 years ago | Reply Nice indeed!! Keep it up!!

Abeer | 12 years ago | Reply Brilliant article! Loved it! Please keep writing more Ghazala Akbar!

Crest | 12 years ago | Reply If that is the case then why our own media didn't pay any attention to a breaking news which is somehow related to Pakistan as well. It was published in Times of India yesterday that out of 50 most wanted individuals, whose list was handed over to Pakistan by India. One fugitive was captured within inside India (thane). One wonder how many others were hiding there. But who cares in Paki media? Please see the below link. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Fugitive-on-most-wanted-list-given-to-Pak-lives-in-Thane/articleshow/8379388.cms

Hari | 12 years ago | Reply Nice way with words.You have conveyed your pain well through satire.

Saba Khalid | 12 years ago | Reply Loved it! Very breezy and fun to read....considering the fact that it captured an important and serious aspect.. that's what I'd say to all bloggers, keep it short and simple :)

Fahad Raza | 12 years ago | Reply Nice blog for the start Maa'M.

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Pakistan, the media hog

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