It truly has been a sad and disappointing week in the regressive, woman-hating society that is Pakistan

Published: October 31, 2017

What followed after Sharmeen’s claim of harassment was, ironically, the worst form of harassment we’ve witnessed on social media recently. PHOTO: SHARMEEN OBAID-CHINOY

Unless you live under a rock, you are not only aware of the Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy vs the doctor debate that has stirred the Pakistani nation, but have also most certainly picked a side.

Statistically, it is more likely that you support the doctor, and why not? Poor man, who is also a father of four, allegedly got fired – a reminder to the harassers in the Pakistani population that harassment can also have consequences, a concept they are, of course, unfamiliar with.

It all started with Facebook and Twitter – which is probably something we’ll also say about the third world war – as a Facebook friend request led to a Twitter rant which led to all of Pakistan collectively losing its chill.

This is a country that has definitely seen worse days, but if anything, this incident has revealed the issues that are big enough to trigger the collective conscience of the country. This is also a country where murderers walk free, and most people stay silent rather than talk about crimes pertaining to sex, so of course the public at large felt a deep sympathy for a doctor facing consequences for his inappropriate actions.

Sharmeen taking to Twitter to express her outrage – something Donald Trump is allowed to do on a regular basis, but hey, it’s not like he’s in a position of power or anything – was the trigger for the keyboard warriors of Pakistan to emerge. What followed after Sharmeen’s claim of harassment was, ironically, the worst form of harassment we’ve witnessed on social media recently.

Here’s why this outrage is not only selective, but also excessively blown out of proportion:

1. Sharmeen made the big mistake of…tweeting?

With great power comes great responsibility – apparently they should add that to Twitter’s guidelines. One of the reasons everyone got so angry was that Sharmeen tweeted about this issue using her celebrity status. Since when do celebrities tweet about things of a personal nature? Also, how dare she use her celebrity power and her privilege to highlight an issue? Has she learnt nothing from our politicians?

People felt that if she wanted to take action, she should have done so privately, not on Twitter. Even though Twitter is definitely the place to go to if you want anything to happen, as evident by international politics these days. But no, we live in a society where a doctor can send friend requests to patients or like their pictures on Facebook and that is okay, but a woman can’t tweet on Twitter, since we clearly don’t understand how social media is supposed to work .

Even though it might have been a case of poor choice of words in a time of heated emotion, as clarified by Sharmeen, why did we focus on her choice of words and not the issue at hand? How many times have we gone on a rant or vented on social media when angry or frustrated? Do you remember a grammar nazi popping up in your head and telling you to be careful of your choice of words? How many posts have we come across on Facebook where men and women are ranting on about poor delivery service from a vendor, or women ranting about Uber and Careem drivers, or people ranting on about Karachi’s traffic or police woes, or women complaining about clothing stores? Are all these rants perfectly worded and formed? Are they justified?

We completely skipped the part, by choice or not, where Sharmeen was narrating her sister’s ordeal and instead focused on her claiming this is “harassment” or how most assumed that she was showing off her privilege and power when she said “wrong women in the wrong family” and focused on that. Does she not get the benefit of the doubt?

2. She misused her privilege and her celebrity power by… standing up for her sister?

Yes, she went on a Twitter rant. But it’s important to address that she was the third party in this incident, and that she was standing up for her sister, who was the one the doctor harassed. Then why is Sharmeen bearing the brunt of it?

How dare Sharmeen take a picture with one of the most influential men in Hollywood, before he was accused of sexual harassment and rape? Why did Sharmeen stay silent when literally no one else in Hollywood was speaking up? And why is she not aware that once you take a picture with a criminal, it apparently becomes hypocritical to report a crime?

In a recently released statement, Sharmeen admitted that being a celebrity, she gets a lot of friend requests which she politely ignores, as we all do. However, she revealed that not only did the doctor send a Facebook friend request, he also commented on her sister’s pictures. This is not normal. Please don’t let us be known as a society that is okay with a doctor breaching confidentiality but is angry at a woman for standing up for her sister.

3. Doctors aren’t allowed to send friend requests…when did this happen?

I make an appointment at a renowned hospital with a doctor I have never met before. The doctor is a man, and while I sit there in his office, naked underneath a gown, he is allowed to touch me – and I place my trust in him to only do so where and when necessary. This is an implicit agreement made whenever anyone, male or female, visits the doctor, because they have your consent, which they have to try and maintain by acting in a professional manner.

So I go to the doctor, a man who has treated me and knows private details about me, as only a doctor does. My check-up ends and I go home, trying to forget the experience since hospitals always remind me of death for some reason.

The next day, I wake up to see that the doctor has accessed my private, personal information, looked me up and sent me a friend request on Facebook. Moreover, he has also started liking and commenting on my pictures.

This unknown man, who I trusted enough to honour the doctor-patient ethical code, has now broken the fourth wall and is trying to reach me on a personal level. Why? Am I dying, and the only way to tell me is to befriend me? Probably not. Is this a creepy thing to do? Absolutely. Will I ever go to this doctor again? Only if he was the last doctor alive and I needed medical treatment.

Is this harassment? Yes, it unequivocally is.

Furthermore, what might count as harassment for one woman might not be the case for another, but that does not mean that we belittle that woman’s fight for ending harassment and instead fight against her.

In the developed world, doctors are actually given training on what constitutes as harassment and unethical behaviour, and surprisingly, sending a Facebook friend request is, quite literally, on the list.

4. We’re showing her this is not harassment by… harassing her?

Perhaps it was a healthy argument to have, to discuss whether a doctor sending a patient a Facebook friend request counts as harassment. But we went for the overkill, as always. Social media decided to take it a step further and actually harass Sharmeen to prove to her what harassment is like. For how would she know what harassment feels like? It’s not like women have any experience in that department.

But wait, why stop at Sharmeen? Her sister was dragged into the witch hunt; her pictures released online, with comments ranging from “she’s ugly, so who would harass her”, to how she dressed like a “slut”, which means she was asking for it. It’s nice to see that in 2017, the Pakistani public still has the mentality where they shame and blame the victim. “What was she wearing?”, because of course, you have to cover yourself up lest you happen to seduce your doctor. Following this logic, I honestly can’t fathom how male doctors are ever able to perform surgery on female patients.

Meanwhile, the poor doctor – whose only crime was to harass a patient and breach confidentially through an unethical practice – is getting the public’s sympathy, with more and more people and hospitals offering him a job. With the way things are going, this guy could win the 2018 election.

Everyone is talking about him, and how he will feed his four children. No one is talking about how this practice is unethical, or how he allegedly has more harassment cases against him.

The doctor’s picture and name has still not been revealed. If what is happening to him is wrong and false, where is his side of the story? Why are Aga Khan University Hospital and millions of Pakistanis speaking on his behalf when they don’t even know his side?

So while he enjoys his anonymity, Sharmeen and her sister have been dissected right, left and centre. Why are millions not commenting on his appearance or on how sleazy he may or may not look? Why has he not come forward to fight for his family or his job or his reputation? Because he is a man and hence he doesn’t need to, and that’s his privilege. Sharmeen is a woman in a patriarchal society, hence she may have celebrity privileges but not one that gives her the right to accuse a man for harassment and get him sacked.

Okay, but have you seen the picture of her sister wearing a perfectly normal outfit? She was definitely asking for it, right?

5. Women should support other women…but not if it’s Sharmeen?

Be it on Whatsapp groups, Facebook groups such as Soul Sisters or Soul B*****s, or just privately to their friends, most women are always talking about messages or requests they receive from men. Sometimes it’s as a simple as a “Hi, I saw you the other day, can we be friends?”, or sometimes it can be as explicit as a picture of a man’s genitals on Snapchat or messages detailing exactly what strange, unknown men would like to do to us. Closed groups such as ‘Frandshippers exposed’ are created on Facebook where countless women share their experiences of receiving friend requests or messages from random people and how they think it is “creepy”, “sleazy” and “wrong”. Does the perpetrators’ occupation or family not come into consideration then? Or is that exposing such men and their harassment is only allowed on closed groups and Whatsapp groups, but cannot be done publically?

So what’s different about Sharmeen’s case?  Why aren’t more women on her side, and are instead siding with the harasser? Think of every time you’ve been harassed, sexually or otherwise, and then try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. What if you complained about your harasser, and in turn people started harassing you? Telling you that your harassment was not harassment? That you’re a “slut” and were hence asking for it?

Every woman has a story; every woman has felt uncomfortable because of a man at one point or another. We know because only last week, we were all saying #MeToo. Then why is it that only a week later, we’re saying yes, me too, but no, not you?

Seeing most men not understand how this is harassment is understandable – they participate in worse cases of harassment every day, which is why this probably seems like nothing. But to see women, who are harassed day in and day out, open up about their stories but at the same time declare another woman’s situation as trivial? There aren’t enough words to describe how extremely disappointing that is.

Harassment is a part of every Pakistani woman’s daily life; from the moment you step out of your house, a pair of ogling eyes will follow your every step, till you reach back home safely. So Pakistani women are used to being harassed by men, though that does not mean that it’s okay to do so, but to see fellow women harass Sharmeen and put her down just because they don’t agree that her case constitutes as “harassment”, that’s just downright demoralising. Women are putting other women down for speaking up. For calling out a harasser (yes, that is what he is). For using a platform that millions of women use to raise awareness about their ordeal or social issues. For saying that no, what happened to my sister is not acceptable. For saying that being a family of strong women, we will not stand by this.

It truly has been a sad and disappointing week for Pakistan. And for those who are still struggling to voice their pain, to seek justice after what some doctor, maulvi, shopkeeper, uncle, CEO, did to them, because they now know it’s better to keep quiet than raise their voice.

Remember when a week ago everyone was harassing Malala for wearing jeans? And before that when we were unhappy with how Mahira Khan was smoking in a dress? And before that when we didn’t stop slut-shaming Qandeel Baloch, even after she was murdered?

That’s because in Pakistan, we hate women. We hate that a woman spoke up about harassment and for a change, people listened to her. We hate that Sharmeen made documentaries to highlight social problems women face in our society, and we hate the fact that those documentaries got acknowledged by the western world and won awards, because why should Sharmeen highlight what a regressive, woman-hating society Pakistan really is? We can do that commendably all on our own.

Iqra Khan

Iqra Khan

The writer is a political science graduate from LUMS.

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • Keyboard Soldier

    All the desi bloggers (your typical moms and fashion entrepreneurs banking on their husbands or fathers) living in posh areas of Karachi and Lahore are now out to defend that pretentious woman.

    Sharmeen deserves every bit of insult that has come her way.Recommend

  • Ihtisham Khan

    Not agreeing with you or Sharmeen does not mean we hate women. This, right this is the problem in Pakistan. I blame you guys for using an issue like harassment of women in Pakistan and making a mockery of it. Don’t blame the rest of Pakistan. She did it. There was no need for it.Recommend

  • Rizwan Nasar

    Go read Ms. Chinoy’s tweet before you defend her! The reason many are saying “yes, me too, but no, not you”?” When you say “…you messed with the wrong
    family…” my question is Who are you? What makes your family special? You live in the 21st century with multiple social media accounts. If you or your sister gets a “friends request” just reject it. Even if it is from your doctor! Do not exploit your status. Yes that is what you did… There are girls of underprivileged families who go through worse every day than getting just a “friend request” on Facebook. This is the only reason for “…no, not you” Recommend

  • PatelPara

    Alhamdolillah! this regressive society taught these VIP’s a lesson. Next time any libtard will thing about ending someone’s career or marriage.Recommend

  • shakir ansari

    Right Iqra, brave.Recommend

  • Babu

    More leftist propaganda. More sweeping generalizations to demonize Pakistan.Recommend

  • Khurram Bukhari

    Sorry but you have failed to convince lot of people. I think you have paucity of valid and convincing arguments to support actions of Sharmeen Obaid.Recommend

  • Greywolf

    the premise of this article is so bogus its not even worth tearing apart. yes pakistan is a patriarchal society. get over it. no one, not even liberal progressives, should be force feeding your narrative down our throat on this issue.Recommend

  • goldconsumer

    The waste of 5 minutes of life. Since when did anyone who didn’t view this action by the doctor as harassment, did consider it ok or ethical? I think everyone considered it totally inapproriate action by the doctor. However to further clarify the word harassment do read the judgement given by an Australian court related to on screen proposal of Chris Gale to a tv anchor. Even that was not considered harassment by a “western” court. This is probably why it was ruled out by the FIA here in Pakistan as well. You are not the one to judge what is right and wrong. Its what is written as law and what you can prove in the court. Period! I think that doctor should seriously consider going to the court. First sue the aku management if they fired him without verbal and written warnings and then sue Sharmeen for defaming him.Recommend

  • HassaanM

    A one-sided account of the events. Basically feminist drivel.Recommend

  • M. S. Chaudhry

    Why Sharmeen put her in limelight when her sister could have rejected doctor’s request or just ignored.Had the doctor repeated his requests and intimidated her again and again then case would have been different. Was Sharmeen’s sister a minor so that she asked her elder sister to defend her. It clearly indicates that SOC put herself in front because she wanted to use this incident for her own glory and projection. She wanted to prove that her documentaries might not have helped poor rural women but they have made her a powerful celebrity.Recommend

  • Adnan Qamar

    The doctor was obviously in the wrong by sending SOC’s sister a friend request. Lodging a complaint should have been the right thing to do. I think no one disagrees. People are outraged because instead of an appropriate disciplinary action, the doctor was FIRED and SOC boasted about it on her Twitter account. This was plain wrong!
    What if instead of SOC’s sister, some other woman was involved. Would the hospital have taken the same measures? I believe no!
    And if SOC was so concerned about her sister’s privacy, why come out on Twitter and tell everyone about it?Recommend

  • Alia

    “Regressive, women-hating society” That’s ridiculous. Who elected Benazir Bhutto twice?Recommend

  • M Sarmad

    Oh God just get over it Recommend

  • Zee

    Why you ladies drag Pakistan in everything? Pakistani society is not Women-Hating. Please keep you own judgement to your own self and dont blame Pakistan for everything. We love our women and yes we do hate Hypocrite women like Sharmeen who earn money by selling mysteries.Recommend

  • Asad Malik

    This “women-hating” country elected a female head of state. Maybe if you get out of your bubble, you’ll realize that this rational is what’s used by the conservative media in the west to pin the blame on all Muslims for terrorist acts.Recommend

  • tuq

    Blah,blah,blah…. You can write two more pages explaining why Pakistan is a woman hating society but won’t succeed. Pakistan respects its women more than any other country.Recommend

  • Asad Ullah Lakho

    aray bhai…kesi bat ker rahay ho,,,,,,, agar wo reject kerdeti to sharmeen ko moqa kese milta propaganda kerne ka….masala chaiye hota haina…awaeee chor deti wo moqaa….ajeeb bat kerte ho bhai……. Aik doctor ki naukri aik request ki wajah se chali gayi to kia hogaya….koi bari bat thori hai……. Sharmeen farishti hai…..asmaan se ayeee hai….smjha karoRecommend

  • Sahar Taher Khan

    excellent , well thought-out and researched article . great job, Iqra!!Recommend

  • siesmann

    Comments here prove the author right. People have trouble SOC using her privilege,but gloss over the doctor using his privilege.He did not choose a friend surfing the net,but because he knew particulars about the lady.And people have always criticized SOC for bringing out the social ills of the society she happens to live in.Same people have no trouble blaming USA or India or West for troubles and ills in PakistanRecommend

  • bilal hussain

    Blind, biased and rusty article from a keyboard warrior.Recommend

  • king0333

    twice? and who killed her? and who demonized her as “threat to Pakistan”?Recommend

  • king0333

    i change my position, facebook request does not constitute harassment ordinarily, but in Doctor-Patient scenario it is harassment. let me explain in the language the pakistani understand. han tu aggar tumhari mother-sister kisi doctor kay pass jaya aur wohi doctor usko friend request bheej dey..tumhari “ghairat” jagay gi key nai?Recommend

  • raj

    i guess you dint read the article “Facebook friends a no-no for doctors”. If a guy touches you and next day he sends you friend request and you decline, that guy can do harm to your image and personality. Firstly i was not getting the point sharmeen was putting but now i know.. i corrected myself and so should youRecommend

  • raj

    no body in Pakistan gets elected. she got selected and so do all PMs. If Pak had a choice they would have never elected corrupt people. Admit it, its regressive and needs to get a better living societyRecommend

  • raj

    so what do you think about the issue ?Recommend

  • raj

    Everybody in Pakistan is a representative for the whole nation. Pak has many men who still believe women are not worth giving importance.Recommend

  • raj

    so if you doc touches your private parts and then asks for friendship and you had to oblige that just because he has sensitive info about you and if you dont he might black mail you. that would be fine with you ??Recommend

  • raj

    When you are to become Doc, the ethical courses you, as doc, have to take includes these types of ethical conundrums. and he misused itRecommend

  • raj

    You said there are girls that go through it everyday. Does that mean you should ingore it. If people like sharmeen and you won’t come out and tell the truth then how would those underprevileged girls get the courage to talk. Pakistanis need to talk on issues. Look at Harvey Weinstein, when one actor talked about him, so many actresses came out and opned up. thats how societies flourish unlike pak where everything is pushed under the carpetRecommend

  • Omer

    “This is also a country where murderers and rapists walk free……” but let’s ignore those issues and focus our attention in getting the poor Doctor fired, ruining his career, making life difficult for his family for one honest/(stupid) mistake (i.e. sending a friend request), which he would definitely be regretting now. He is much worse as compared to the ones mentioned above. Oh and by the way once he is dealt with, let’s try to get rid of capital punishment, which is so torturing for the poor souls (murderers and rapists).Recommend

  • rebel

    Raj no one is defending the doctor. But we are also opposing the choice of words from Shermeen.Recommend

  • Sana Khan

    If I am IN to social media than I must also know privacy setting or common sense of IGNORING.Recommend

  • rebel

    First of all Raj. get your facts straight she went to ER not because she had STD she was seasonally sick. no one touched any part. Secondly you have an option on facebook which prevents other people from adding you. not to hurt anyone’s integrity use that option so no on will be able to add you. Third, if a doctor sent a request you ignore it and even if you want to complain to AKUH but you don’t have to brag online about it.Recommend

  • Sana Khan

    Why my sister and mother will use social media? Suppose if they use than why they will keep setting that anyone can add?Recommend

  • rebel

    a pathetic logic. first of all aap agar itnay hi ghairatmand ho to apni mother sister ko online account bananay hi na do. liekin agar unhu ne banaya ha to you should have faith in them to do the right thing as well. Friend request ka mutlub ye nai k wo aap k ghar k address pe a jaiyga. you delete the request and block it.Recommend

  • reza

    @raj if the doc wanna blackmail you he can, without sending you FB request. it was a request not a written letter that accept or otherwise i’ll blackmail you.Recommend

  • Hasan Kazmi

    The subject of the blog is complete nonsense…”regressive, woman-hating society that is Pakistan” are you serious!!..Subject is sufficient enough to read the blogger’s mindset, therefore no need to respond to such nuisance. Don’t forget before this incident SOC had been treated as a star in Pakistan.Recommend

  • ThePrincekhan999

    Great Another Desi Wannabe “Liberal” Coming To The Rescue Of Fellow NGO Aunty.These Women Have Done More Harm To The Cause of Women In Pakistan Than Any Misogynist Ever WouldRecommend

  • Ali Ashraf

    Either you miserably fail to see the picture here or probably you’re too naive to understand the issue. It is not about a woman standing up for her rights, it is just about maliciously maligning Pakistan in front of the whole world and labeling us a non-tolerant/sociopath society. She has been working on the agenda given by her white masters which is raging a psychological warfare against Pakistan.Recommend

  • Yasser Yousufi

    Voices of Sanity like yours are sadly rare in this junkyard of a country which chooses, murderers, sex offenders, corrupt land grabbers and money launderers (Mujhe kiu Nikala) as their leaders. Twitter and FB is being abused the same way by this nation as the loud speaker at the disposal of a rampant mulla, for spreading hate and shredding every bit of any civilized argument.Recommend

  • Haris

    Koi faida nahi in ko samjhane se…. decades of brainwashing doesnt wash off so easilyRecommend

  • Hamza Afridi

    was she killed due to she was a woman. how conclusive you are?
    The question is why ZA bhutto and Gen. Zia, along with 28 other high ranked offficers, were killed. I believe all those were men.Recommend

  • Hamza Afridi

    COZ they needed publicity and wanted to be focused on media, may be no new topic left in pakistan for them to win oscar again.Recommend

  • Genie

    “Woman-hating society that is Pakistan” ?
    How many men has the learned author interviewed and asked them as to why did they hate their mother because she is a woman ?

    My song is as follows:

    There is nothing like a Mama. There is nothing you can name.
    My Mama was a dame. So there is nothing like a dame.
    There is nothing like a dame. There is nothing you can name.Recommend

  • Saqib Shakil

    Not a very objective article, The doc might have been wrong or might not but the way Sharmeen obaid came on ” Messed with the wrong Family”. She got what she deserved. And btw So does Trump its just that he doesn’t care not like people dont troll himRecommend

  • Shayan “1024kB”

    Hello Iqra,
    The concerns you raised are very real. But I do believe that the situation was handled very badly by Chinoy. She could have contacted the hospital privately.

    But no, she chose to instead call out all the Pakistanis. Well, how is she different from some of the propaganda mongering westerners who go out of there way to label Islam as a terrorist religion on the deeds of a single person?

    All in all, I don’t think sending a friend request is considered has harassment. Her approach was ill intention-ed and it back fired.Recommend

  • rukhsana shama

    Very well written Iqra. Strong, and on the spot. Keep going girl.Recommend

  • Humiliated Soul

    I had my hand stuck in bus door when I was coming from university, due to pain and reflexive action I unintentionally touched seat, on which a female student was sitting. She turned and blurted gross words. She turned my reputation down to earth. Was that equal to harassment? No one understands the situation and uses women power to hit every potential men.Recommend

  • fbg

    Both the author of this article and sharmeen are making generalizations that are not fair, there was absolutely no need for ms Chinoy to have hashtagged Pakistan EVEN if the doctors action was unprofessional…she appears to be a manipulative, lady who is working on some agenda…I am sorry there are a lot of positives in our country too, she can perhaps think of highlighting those instead of tarnishing the image of Pakistan. Maybe she can think of making a documentary on Edhi…(or perhaps not as the west will not be as pleased with her). We, as a nation, appreciate talent, but sorry not this kind of manipulative talent!Recommend

  • M. S. Chaudhry

    Agreed..Doctors and few other professionals should be more careful as they have much more responsibility but in any case punishment should justify the crime. If accused Doctor has a history of doing such acts then he deserves what he got but if it’s his first mistake then should have been rejected without any beating.Recommend

  • king0333

    so all the blame goes to girl?right? She has to block requests or even not to open FB right? I mean if she does have a FB that’s the ultimate invite to all malesRecommend

  • king0333

    What’s wrong in using social media? Are you saying having a Social media account is open offer for every male? It’s the same talking point used by Molvies that girl’s cloth determines if she’s going to be harassed or not. We all know paki men doesn’t care if you wear Burka or Bikini.Recommend

  • king0333

    Listen, Ask you ABA ji what these politicians used to call Benazir, he might tell you the truth. But the kind of mindset you have it’s hard to imagine if your dad is going to tell u truth. Clearly love of Zia you inherited from your father otherwise no sane person is worried about how the dictator got killedRecommend

  • king0333

    What you talking about? You clearly missed the punRecommend

  • gp65

    Did the Doctor use any confidential information? No. You just need to know a person’s name to send a friend request.
    Did the Doctor blackmail the patient? No.Recommend

  • gp65

    My opinion on the issue:

    1. The doctor’s behavior was unprofessional and probably deserved a reprimand. However the only reason he was sacked is because Sharmeen was a celebrity and tweeted about it.

    2. You say “The next day, I wake up to see that the doctor has accessed my private, personal information, looked me up and sent me a friend request on Facebook. Moreover, he has also started liking and commenting on my pictures.” Well first of all, the doctor does NOT need to look up private, personal information to send Facebook friend request, he just needs to know the name. Secondly, if the sister does not welcome comments from random strangers, she should change privacy settings on facebook, so that only her friends can comment on her pictures.
    3. If you tweet, others can tweet back. This is something Sharmeen should know. Having said that, Mubasheer Luqman is a known misogynist. He attacked Mukhtaran Mai for complaining about gangrape, published Qandeel Baloch’s paasport which eventually led to her death and has continued the pattern now by attacking Sharmeen. Disagreeing with sacking of Doctor, does not mean that someone is supporting the harassment of Sharmeen’s sister or misogynistic comments about SharmeenRecommend

  • gp65

    The doctor’s behavior was unprofessional and deserved a reprimand. Did it deserve a sacking?
    Secondly, you do not need to know any particulars about the lady to send a facebook friend request – just a person’s name.Recommend

  • SikanderG

    Thanks for this blog post.Recommend

  • raj

    I cannot believe i am answering such an ignorant like you but am still doing it. It is because of the “Ignoring” things that pakistanis keep on doing that Pakistan is shamed in the world. You have to keep your house in order and fight for something wrong be it small or big. Secondly, you have to think of what can be done by the doctor. Not this doctor but any other. If you tell a doc your situation, be it small or big, you are trusting him that he will check you as a doc. The same doc checks you file and rings you at home to say he likes you is not done. The consequence: Doc can use the file info to harrass you further. Its not abt this lady, its about the trend that would be set if nothing is done. Public shaming is impt to give a lesson to others.Recommend

  • raj

    I would say, if you keep ignoring this, it will create big problems in the future. It is this ignoring that Pakistan is shamed all over the world. we are just ignoring everything, be it religious intolerance, molestation, human rights, minority rights etcRecommend

  • raj

    As a doc, he is not supposed to use the personal file info or advance any favour. Its not a drama. its real life. The question is not if he did black mailed, the question is the trend setting that would be set if nothing is done. Ignoring this will create a much bigger problem from such a smaller one. its not abt this lady, its abt the colective ethical values and promises that a doc makes when checking the patients.Recommend

  • raj

    you are such a funny person. You still believe its safe and private. Someone must be checking your private files in your PC and you won’t know it. grow up.Recommend

  • raj

    if you ignore it, the trend will be set and then there won’t be any chance of correcting the mistake.Recommend

  • raj

    black mailing by other means is a crime. black mailing like this is a cyber crime. as a doctor, he shoudl not advace any favour to patientsRecommend

  • raj

    is it the choice of words or you think its such a petty issue that people should just ignore it.Recommend

  • Salman Raheel

    Fascinating to see how all these confused desi liberals are coming out in hoards in defence of Sharmeen. My concern here isn’t what was done to the doctor or her pompous outburst of self importance, rather the fact that she is very anti-Pakistan and tried to pour the blame for that FB friend request, entirely on the country of millions. If any had apprehensions earlier regarding the orientation of her work & motives, with this fiasco she has come out in the open with her true intentions. Lastly, for the OP….You ain’t fooling anyone with such drivel.Recommend

  • Kaz
  • Rex Minor

    This unknown man, who I trusted enough to honour the doctor-patient
    ethical code, has now broken the fourth wall and is trying to reach me
    on a personal level. Why? Am I dying, and the only way to tell me is to
    befriend me? Probably not. Is this a creepy thing to do? Absolutely.
    Will I ever go to this doctor again? Only if he was the last doctor
    alive and I needed medical treatment.
    Is this harassment? Yes, it unequivocally is.

    This is not harrasment by any standard!
    Rex MinorRecommend

  • Rex Minor

    Where does your generalisation about the country called Pakistan comes from? You are not using this incident to bash Pakistan like Sharmeen did?

    Rex MinorRecommend

  • Taymur Peracha

    I agree with you here. But where I disagree with you is that Sharmeen is not to blame for what happens to the doctor. AKUH is a strong hospital with a strong board of directors. The doctor’s future will be determined by what they decide not Sharmeen. Above there is a detail note from her to read this. I also initially felt bad for the doctor until I did some more research.Recommend

  • Taymur Peracha

    I felt the same as you. But Sharmeen in her detailed note, which is part of this article has specifically apologised for her language and excepted her fault there.Recommend

  • Taymur Peracha

    i don’t think he has said that. He is not defending the doctors actions.Recommend

  • Rex Minor

    The canadian citizen SOC is the most naive a ot properly brought upnd regressive individual of our modern times outmatching even the Trumpers. The lady was not brought up properly in the family seeking publicity on “Me too slogan” which was not meant to repr esent ones sister involvement with a medical doctor. The author should have choosen a less controversial act of the UK defense minister who has resigned from his post for his past sexual harrasment act asking the Prime minister that she should be prepared to hear of further adventures with women.

    Rex MinorRecommend

  • raj

    its not about bashing any thing. its about reality check that can engulf the society in the future. Pak did the same mistake in Zia’s era and now see what kind of society it has become.Recommend

  • raj

    you have to clean up the mess to clear the society. just saying its one off event will ruin the society in the future. look at where pakistan is going.Recommend

  • Rex Minor

    The source of the mess is in America, from fake news to face book and tweets, it is time that the digital overlords bring their gadgets in order to avoid chaos in world communities. Pakistan is a country of several Nations of 200 odd millions which include those who migrated from India causing a turmoil in natives cultures. Remember in India women still get raped in public and wthout any resistance or outcry, SOC over reaction is simply the reflection of what we are witnessing in India and north America whose democracies have failed to protect women in public life. There is a saying, one should better clean up the mess in front of ones own house before criticising communities of foreign lands.

    Rex MinorRecommend

  • Rex Minor

    so what do you think about the issue ? Your question to to greywolf?

    SOC should go to the land where pepper grows. The medical doctor has learnt the lesson not to seek friendship with sick patients on face book and migrate to North American colds instead of working in tropical city of Pakistan.

    Rex MinorRecommend

  • ss

    They totally are. You guys hate women, kill them in the name of honour, rape them under jirga laws, make fun of their weaknesses, hit them under religious rules etc etc. Stop lying.Recommend

  • Alter Ego

    You do know , there is a deny button on fb.
    Just deny it , instead you take it on fb and twitter.
    Raise a lot of dust when fb provides you with a deny friend option.
    Why are you making a mountain out of a mole-hole,Recommend

  • alter ego

    Where has the doctor threatened to blackmail her.
    “I shot the person because he was reaching in his pocket.”
    Show some proof .
    The doctor might have , the point is he didn’t.
    But sharmeen did.
    So,get your facts straight before you launch senseless arguments.Recommend

  • alter ego

    You have not said one sensible thing.
    When has the doctor blackmailed her?
    If he had , then Sharmeen would have been justified in launching her tirade , the point is he didn’t.
    Did the doctor send her any inappropriate messages?
    He simply sent her a fb request.
    If u cant handle it , then you shouldn’t be on fb.Recommend

  • alter ego

    Well then thats a job for a hacker , not a doctor .
    Perhaps you should tirade against hackers then,yeah?Recommend

  • alter ego

    Let me explain it in a language that you will understand.
    Though i doubt it.

    I post my pictures to the public , i expect them to be liked and seen and commented by the public.

    I post my pictures in the family , i expect only my family to see and like and comment on them.

    I post my pictures in a group , i expect only the group members to see and like and comment on them.

    I give my information on fb to the public , i expect that the public can see it.

    If you do not agree with fb policies , then do not make an account there.I know of many people who don’t.

    Rather than blaming the doctor for liking the pictures that are available to the 7.6 billion of the world, don’t post those pictures.

    Personal information on fb !!!!!, dear author dont make me laugh.
    Personal information on fb!!!!Have you never used fb?

    If you do not want someone as friend , block him/her.That option lies with you not them.

    Why is so hard for you desi liberals to understand that?

    That was a crash course Facebook 101.
    Now go back to your Excuses 701.Recommend

  • alter ego

    She shared her photos with the public.
    It means that 7.6 billion people can see them.
    What cant you understand about that.
    If the doctor liked her pictures, that because she gave him the permission to do so.
    So yes the blame goes to her.Recommend

  • alter ego

    I laughed when i saw “personal information” on facebook.Recommend

  • Rex Minor

    And if SOC was so concerned about her sister’s privacy, why come out on Twitter and tell everyone about it?

    Perhaps SOC was afraid that the Doc might grope other patients without consent as well and in hugging give their “bums a big squeeze” that the UK politicians are now being accused of. In SOC view It is all possible, one never knows about men who go kinky?

    Rex MinorRecommend

  • Fatima Jabeen

    she could have just reported the matter……….has she said anything abt the girl who was paraded naked by men in d i khan………………thats harrassment……she took it to another level.Recommend

  • Shahzwar Bugti

    The doctor does not exist. Nothing like that ever happened. It’s a hoax.
    Everyone is asking unintelligent questions. Recommend

  • Maham

    Hahahaha, because Pakistan has done so much to protect and celebrate the rights of women that it actually needs a campaign to look bad in front of the world?? Between jirgas, child matriages, rape laws, the 20% female labor participation ratio (lowest in the region)…sharmeen is the one ruining our reputation? What a delusional society.Recommend

  • Maham

    Feminism = equal rights for men and women. Please elaborate on what is so horrible about that ideology.Recommend

  • Maham

    This kind of person is everything that is wrong with Pakistan :) basically anything that happens to a woman is her fault. In order to make sure she doesn’t get raped or harassed, every woman should just lock herself up in the boundaries of her home – and not even sign up for something like Facebook. Otherwise she is obviously asking for it..this is what happens when you are uneducated and have 0 exposure to how the world works.Recommend

  • Alter Ego

    Well then , paste her photos in a private group so that the 7.6 billion of the world cant see them .

    If you make it public , it means it is public.

    The logic is so simple , it makes me cry.Recommend

  • Umair Arshad

    Tit for tat .!!Recommend

  • HassaanM

    Feminism isn’t about equality. It is about female-privilege.Recommend

  • raj

    so you will wait for that to happen or would try to rectify something that is about to happen. may be not with this doctor but if you don’t kill snake at the right moment, it will kill you. Think about what i just said.Recommend

  • raj

    Its not about killing, its about stopping something before it happens. Don’t be a male chauvenist. You would definitely stop a person with a gun before he kills you. a gun itself is a proof. Social media is a gun and you can fire it whickever way u want. she just tried to mind you allRecommend

  • raj

    its not about fb. its about doctor patient confidentiality. People don’t know what relation doctor should have with patient. it can have a dire consequences if doctors start to think differently. look what happened with lahore on yound doc association. every now and then they act like mafia. if it was stopped at the right time, people would not have died bcz of them in lahore.Recommend