Who knew life was all about making babies

Published: April 26, 2011
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If you’ve been married for a few months, you probably have been asked the same question repeatedly – ‘the baby question.’

Now, I’m not in any way opposed to people who pop little-poo-filled-bundles-of-joy nine months after their marriage. But please, I urge them to spare us.

When you ask me 15 days after my wedding if I’m pregnant or not, you are not only being a tad bit intrusive, you are also being highly insensitive.

Asking newly weds every month whether they have been visited by a certain ‘special aunty‘ is not only a huge pain in the behind, it is also a terrible downer for people who are still honeymooning.

Also, imagine if the person you’re asking is trying hard to get pregnant.

It took me months to get pregnant and Alhamdullilah now I am. But, it was extremely painful finding out each month that my little-bundle-of-joy was still in my dreams – without having excited aunties elbowing me at every wedding whenever I took an extra bite out of that biryani or overslept another afternoon.

I remember one woman kept badgering me all through a baby shower, insisting I tell her when it was going to be my “turn.” I wanted to scream and let her know that I could accuse her for harassment just because she kept winking at me and trying to touch my flat stomach, which she was adamant was about to sprout a bump.

Then there are those who sigh every time they see you holding a child to remind you of what you’re missing out on. I know exactly what I’m in for— round the clock poop fest and picking out nasty little boogers. So, please do not feel sorry for those not with child.

On the other hand there are also those who find every other opportunity of accusing you of using contraception. Now, I know that women think it is their right to not only start rumours but also have unfounded faith in their own lies, but seriously, what happens in someone’s bed is their own business. Period.

My favourites of course were the worried types who believed that it was mineral water which caused my “infertility” their contention being that since most bottled water is produced by the “Jews,” therefore it must be contaminated.

Others have suggested that women who eat white bread can’t get pregnant, while there have been some who believe that my long ago stint at a cushy office job left me infertile and barren.

Yes, they were all right of course! That’s why I’m five months pregnant now with no complications so far.

Of course what little delay I had was probably caused by the stress induced by women with too much time on own hands and too little grey matter in their heads.

Shaza Nishat

Shaza Nishat

A housewife, writer, painter and new mommy.

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.