Muammar Qaddafi: The coolest dictator ever!

Published: March 2, 2011
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Libya has turned into a warzone, the global media, led by Al Jazeera has gone rabid against Muammar Qaddafi. Twitter and Facebook have erupted with Qaddafi hatred – but hold on, there are a whole bunch of reasons why Qaddafi is really a great guy.

1. His dress sense. Who can hate someone who defines his own style, and sticks with it year-after-year? I personally think any man who can carry off swathes of cloth wrapped around him with a messy unkempt I’m-a-70s-rocker hairdo deserves some credit, no?

2. Call me Pakistani, but I find dictators who usurp power and hold onto it with an iron fist, military might, dollops of nationalism with just a touch of sneaky underhandedness kind of sexy. I mean, who needs democracy anyway – it’s so 2001 (reference: this lovely local protest against democracy)!

3. Anyone who can p*** off millions of Facebook and Twitter users (who had never even heard his name a month ago) in the span of a few days, well, speaks for itself.

4. He has a stadium named after him for helping Pakistan with its nuclear program back when he was a totally hot anti-imperialism hero! Hello, has everyone forgotten that? Not to be a conspiracy theorist, but I’m not buying into how smoothly all these revolutions are taking place, with a more-than-cheerful United States waving their freedom banner yet again.

5. Qaddafi is willing to bomb his own citizens for something he truly loves and believes in. Ladies, this man’s a keeper.

6. Qaddafi’s son (future dictator) isn’t so bad himself.

7. How many dictators knows how to rock it out? When they aren’t indulging in war crimes the Qaddafi family enjoys spending millions of dollars on Mariah Carrey and Nelly Furtado concerts. Can such a patron of the arts really have it wrong? I think not.

8. You can never spell his name wrong. Gaddafi? Sure. Kattafi? Why not. Gadhafi? Knock yourself out. Alternatively, you could refer to him by his official title “Brotherly Guide of the First of September Great Revolution of the Socialist People’s Libyan Arab Jamahiriya” – now if that isn’t cool I don’t know what is. If that one’s a little long he bestowed another title upon himself “King of Kings of Africa.”

9. Qaddafi’s royal guard of 40 virgins is enough to give any young jihadi second-thoughts about a suicide mission. The dictator is living proof that you can achieve heaven on earth if you just try hard enough.

10. Consistency. The streets may be filled with protesters calling for him to step down but Qaddafi remains clearheaded and understanding. He knows that they are just confused and will come to their senses (once the pills wear off).

After all, Qaddafi knows the people really do love him.

Nadya.v

Nadya V

Social critic and part-time gossip monger

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • Usama Zafar

    This was lame!! Even for you!!Recommend

  • parvez

    A write up on Gaddafi by none other than Nadya V, this I had to read and just loved it.
    I needed something to cheer me up and this did the trick.Recommend

  • AK

    My Rating 1.5 out of 5 !Recommend

  • http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/author/143/taha-kerar/ Taha Kehar

    Compelling, honest and entertaining. :)Recommend

  • http://www.6la8.com Confused
  • Majid Urrehman

    You have a sick mind, Nadia.Recommend

  • Salman

    This person is an angry clown. Recommend

  • Abdullah

    My rating is 5/5. we need to look both things separately, the personal he and what he’s doing to save his castle. other than those vicious actions he took against his people; NO DOUBT he is strange, interesting and an uncommon kinda personality, that’s why I really liked this piece of writing. 5/5 stars from me.Recommend

  • Happy Man

    Two thumbs with 8 other fingers up. AWESOME NADIA, You really know how to hit the spot.Recommend

  • Asad Shairani

    Point 9 is very interesting – they should be virgin and must wear make up!Recommend

  • http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/author/265/haris-masood-zubairi/ Haris Masood Zuberi

    Hehe Brilliant Nadya! You’re my kinda gal! Keep writing.Recommend

  • Ahmad Ali Latif

    This is an interesting on the current affairs and a required one too. :)
    Cheers!!Recommend

  • Hira

    Cool written Babe … ;)Recommend

  • nadiyah

    I have only one word for this… TRASH.Recommend

  • http://www.tanzeel.wordpress.com Tanzeel

    Typical Nadia V blog but I liked her confidence. Recommend

  • Saif

    5 out of 5 for humour.And 0 for not denouncing his brutalities!!Recommend

  • Waqas Rao

    Very nice, thoroughly enjoyed it.Recommend

  • Umer

    OK before writing this perhaps she thought ‘Gaddafi is in news these days why not write something funny about him’ she did it and it sucks.Recommend

  • Dr. Amyn Malik

    As someone said above it is a typical Nadya V blog. And I like it! Recommend

  • Zeeshan Ummaid Ali

    This is good information but infact we dont know who to trust and who not to, your beloved neighbour that lived with your for 25 years with peace can one day just rob your whole house and run away.
    WHO TO TRUST… ONLY ALLAH. Thats it!Recommend

  • Saad Durrani

    What a Godly mess this turns out to be! It has a interesting title but inside, it is totally empty.Recommend

  • Waleed Khan

    The writer is actually the Meera + Veena Malik of Express tribune. No matter how much she is criticized , this SOCIAL CRITIC won’t stop

    ‘ Bad naam hoey tu kia hoa – kia naam na ho ga ‘ !!Recommend

  • Kiran

    OMG – this is seriously the best piece of writing I have read in a really, really long time. Not just Express Tribune, elsewhere as well.. and I read a LOT. Incredibly witty, had my laughing out loud at work. Nicely done Nadya :)Recommend

  • A.

    Oh God! Stop writing!Recommend

  • Zain S

    hilarious!Recommend

  • Nadia’s Mom

    Stop writing nonsense. Praising a dictator who kills his own citizens is disgusting, cruel and insulting! Now go to the kitchen and make everyone sandwiches. Thanks!Recommend

  • Muammar Qaddafi

    Lots of people wrote article on me but this one deserves full points. Nadya is the only lady who talks about my appearance and style but not what I am doing with the people of Libya. Very good observation Nadya baby.Recommend

  • FF

    I held it together until point 6 then I just burst out laughing.

    Priceless.Recommend

  • S.M Omair Saeed

    Humor is good… and to be honest the article is quite entertaining…. however i feel when thousands of people are still dying due to this Insolent ****…. we should refrain from any humor related to this whole situation at-least for now…. hope u under stand NADYA….Recommend

  • http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/profile.php?id=638577602 shaikh adeel ahmed

    awesome i am your official fan from now on…Recommend

  • http://[email protected] Ghausia

    It kills me to say it, but I gotta be honest, this actually had me giggling throughout. Had a couple of rude parts, I get the feeling you’re a drawing-room conspiracy theorist, but this truly was funny. Why can’t you write like this all the time instead of coming off as offensive and vapid? Recommend

  • Raqib Ali

    I don’t read this blogger because I know she is Meera of bloggers. Only read her first two and thought of commenting after just looking at the heading!

    Lame as usual (even without reading it!)Recommend

  • http://awgilani.wordpress.com Syed Abdul Wahab Gilani

    Something different after all :) Enjoyed throughly Recommend

  • Aysha

    @Nadia’s Mom:
    Wow, I guess thick sarcasm doesn’t come across that well. It’s a well written piece, a witty satirical, social commentary – hardly an appraisal of a dictator.Recommend

  • Ramesh

    Good Satire. Sad many of the readers havent heard about that word.Recommend

  • abbas
  • asad

    Qaddafi is willing to bomb his own citizens for something he truly loves and believes in. Ladies, this man’s a keeper.

    super !!!Recommend

  • Meerza

    “Not to be a conspiracy theorist, but I’m not buying into how smoothly all these revolutions are taking place, with a more-than-cheerful United States waving their freedom banner yet again

    Oh God! You are so right!Recommend

  • JS

    “6. Qaddafi’s son (future dictator) isn’t so bad himself.”

    The article is really broken in several places. The above is just one example.Recommend

  • http://www.newsexcuse.blogspot.com Omair Mahmood

    You have written this for the sake of fun, but I do support Qaddafi and believe in it. I also have written a blog ‘support qaddafi’ at http://www.newsexcuse.blogspot.com. Do read and comment on it.Recommend

  • Just returned from Libya

    You have a great sense of humor. I agree that Gaddafi is some guy: no wonder Libyans are in awe of him since 42 years (or were, until a few weeks ago). His major problem, as you hinted, is that mentally he is still stuck in the 70s. When Saif-al-Islam, Gaddafi’s heir apparent, thought it uncool that the name of a 7-star hotel in Tripoli be displayed in Arabic only, and summarily replaced the Arabic sign with the one saying “Cornithia Bab Africa Hotel” in English, Gaddafi’s response was legendary: “Get out, you son of a bitch!” He exiled his heir apparent to UK and replaced the new signboard with the old one. All signboards, including street names and shop names, are allowed to be displayed in Arabic only. What a guy!Recommend

  • Tee

    How could you miss his interviewee skills! Recommend

  • http://hafsakhawaja.wordpress.com Hafsa Khawaja

    Satire and sarcasm are much-needed in these times, however I feel writing in relevance to that on a psychotic murderer who is committing a massacre of Libyans and on his bombing etc – is purely, in bad taste. Recommend