Being a Syed-zaadi wasn’t a matter of pride for me, it was a curse!

Published: June 17, 2016
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Hamza convinced his family and within a few weeks his mother and aunt came to my home to ask for my hand. PHOTO: REUTERS

I was born into a Syed family. Since childhood, I’ve been told that this is a blessing as we are the direct descendants of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). Therefore, all Syed girls had a status equivalent to that of mothers of Ummah. Thus, it was forbidden for us to even consider marrying a non-Syed man. Everyone called the girls of our family bibi jee and, while growing up, this was a matter of pride for me.

I was in my early teens when I first realised that there were a number of unmarried women in our family, belonging to all age groups. Due to family restrictions, finding a match for Syed girls was extremely difficult. For this reason, many of my cousins’ husbands were a complete mismatch. To make matters worse, most of my male cousins preferred marrying outside their caste as the men have no such restrictions.

We were three sisters and one brother. My brother (who was two years younger) was the most important person in the house. His birth sparked frantic celebrations in contrast to rather muted welcomes accorded to my sisters. From that point onwards, he received preferential treatment when it came to food, clothes and was later admitted to the top boarding school in our area.

Time passed and I turned 18. I was fair, tall and slim – ticking all the right attributes conventionally expected of an attractive girl. As I was coming of age, some of my female cousins were getting older; a few in their 30s and others in their 40s. Some still hopeful, others left with no dreams – trying to kill time within the walls of their homes.

In a male dominated society, such as Pakistan, finding a suitable match for a girl over the age of 30 is challenging. And for us Syed-zaadis, it’s almost impossible.

Some of my male cousins in their 40’s were able to find girls half their age. Most of their brides were non-Syed, and in my heart I used to wonder, if the Syed girls were given the status of mothers of Ummah, does it not make all Syed boys the fathers of Ummah?

The decade I was growing up in was the mobile and internet era. The world around me was changing at a much faster pace, but life in my house was still anchored in the 18th century. In my family, not many girls were allowed to go to school or college. But my mother (who was also non-Syed) insisted my father let me go to college.

The only reason my father permitted my attending college was so I could find an educated husband. Most of my class fellows were non-Syed and had never faced the same restrictions that I had. There were times when the pressure of being a ‘bibi jee’ was too much for me to handle.

And then I met Hamza; a boy who used to wait for me outside my college every day.

I didn’t want to speak to any man. I resisted talking to him for a long time, but he was persistent and I liked the attention of this young, handsome man. So, eventually I gave in and we started talking and exchanging notes. One day he handed me a mobile. I accepted his gift, not realising that it would change my life forever.

We started talking to each other. He was different from all the men around me. He was supportive and encouraged me to study hard and follow my dreams. I wanted to dream but I was scared. Hamza was the only ray of hope in my life.

One day, my aunt (my father’s unmarried sister who lived with us) saw me texting on my mobile. She immediately handed it to my father who read all of my text messages. My family threw a tantrum and everyone blamed my mother for allowing us freedom. My college life was also held accountable. Soon after, they decided to pull all my sisters out of school. But the worst was not over yet.

I requested a friend of mine to contact Hamza and tell him about the whole situation. Hamza convinced his family and within a few weeks his mother and aunt came to my home to ask for my hand in marriage. My family took that as an insult; after all, how dare a commoner ask for the hand of a Syed-zaadi? My grandmother insulted Hamza’s mother by telling her that she would rather marry me to a dog than her son.

I realised that being a Syed-zaadi wasn’t a matter of pride for me anymore; it was my biggest curse.

Everything around me was falling apart and the only option I had was to kill myself. I thought of running away from home but I was too scared. I would bring a bad name to my family. I thought about how it would impact my sister’s futures.

Weeks turned into months. My only contact with the outside world was my friend, who used to visit every weekend and bring messages from Hamza.

My father arranged my marriage with a cousin of mine who was 42-years-old. My brother moved back home and started medical college. Every man around me was selfish. They only cared about themselves. If the men in our family ever cared, they would have never married any non-Syed girl.

I prayed to my Creator every day,

“Oh my Allah, why do you bring daughters into this family? The ones you do, don’t give them a heart. Don’t give them brain.”

I used to think about my aunt, the one who spent her entire life taking care of her brother’s children. I also used to think about the many cousins I have who are too old to find a good husband. Every single woman in my family was suffering.

I was being forced to marry a man twice my age; all my hopes were dying. Ten days before my wedding, I received a message from Hamza asking me to run away with him. This was my only chance of getting out of this cage, so I decided to be as selfish like the men of my family and leave home.

It was my last day. I was depressed about having to leave my family, and scared as well. I waited for everyone to go to bed. At midnight I quietly walked towards the back door of the house. But, before I could open it, I heard my father’s loud voice asking me to stop. He was shouting from his window and his voice woke up my entire family who came running towards me. My brother stood with my father, a pistol in his hand. My grandmother started cursing me and crying.

Before I could say anything, I saw my brother pointing the gun at me; a loud bang, followed by extreme pain in my chest. My mother came forward to hold me, but it was too late. I was already taking my last breath.

The next morning the village people were told that my father accidently fired the gun while he was cleaning it. My whole family chose to remain quiet. No one reported the incident to the police; no one said anything to my brother. They all thought that he saved their pride.

My family and other so-called respectable families have got a lot of blood on their hands. Death is not always physical; there are countless women who die every day by the misery inflicted upon them by the so-called respectable men in their families. For 100s of years, in a feudalistic society like ours, men have used religion as a tool to protect their lands and keep it within the family. When Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) can give his daughter’s hand in marriage to Usman (RA), who was not from his own family, then why can’t we grant that same right to our women?

Disclaimer: The post is a piece of fiction inspired by a true story

Nazish Gulzar

Nazish Gulzar

The author is an entrepreneur who hails from Mansehra, Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa. She is currently enrolled in a course on Social Entrepreneurship at University of Oxford.

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • sterry

    Hard to believe this story which is not relevant to our Pakistani society, except maybe in Karachi among the Muhajir community. No one I know in Pakistan buys into this Syed-Zaadi business since it primarily a custom followed by people who migrated from India. In India Muslim people will put adds in papers that say Syed family looking for Syed family or Brahmin family looking for Brahmin since people marry into a caste. In India they have castes and practice caste marriages whereas in Pakistan people tend to marry people from the same socio economic, tribal and religious group – not based on a supposed Syed caste. As someone from Mansehra, you probably know that families prefer to marry within their own tribe over any so called Syed. My Pashtun mother would rather me marry even a poor uneducated Afridi partner than a so called “Syed” from another area of the country because they don’t consider most Syeds real. When the Arabs don’t care about “Syed” caste, how can South Asians who are of different stock worry about marrying ” Syed – Zaadi”.Recommend

  • Fatima Zaidi

    Tragedy of our society. Families prefer not to marry their daughters then to tie the know with a non-syed worthy man.Recommend

  • ovais

    this syed and non syed is the most ridiculous thing ever .. I really dont get it how can someone not marry a syed girl ?? Its against the teaching of islam . i know there are sectarian differences but i am pretty sure one of the daughters of twelve shia imams would have been married outside familyRecommend

  • Karachiwala

    Perfect to the Last word!!! amazing… a short movie/video should be made on this.Recommend

  • Sara Batool

    Respected Nazish,
    Your points are valid but I’m not agreed upon explicitly mentioning Syeds because this article represents mentality of the uneducated Pakistanis irrespective of cast or religion!Recommend

  • Noneed

    Not defending or anything but Hazrat Muhammad pbuh married his step daughter to Usman Recommend

  • FayezNoor

    This is self imposed law by Syed people in Asia only to get some attention from jahil awam considering them superior cast & ask them to do dua thinking their prayers will be accepted. a self made tradition it has nothing to do with Islam as you have rightly mentioned that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) gave her daughter to Non Syed himself. what other proof these brainwashed people need.

    My wife is a syed and I am not syed. luckily enough my wife’s father lived his life in middle east and realized that all they Syed charm has nothing to do with islam and even removed word “Syed” & “Shah” from their names. my wife says that her father taught them all humans are equal. none is superior to other. Quran clearly states that we are all equal except by our deeds and belief or something.

    as for your cousins who didnt get married, their parents will be answerable to ALLAH.
    It has been reported that The Prophet Muhammad:(PBUH) said

    ‘A person who possesses the means to marry (i.e. he is able to work etc. to support a wife and children) and does not marry then he is not from amongst us (i.e. the believers).’Recommend

  • syed haters

    definitely written by a non-syed zaadiRecommend

  • syeda

    i am a syed-zaadi and nothing of what is written happens in my family. all the females in my family are happily married and the amount of cast restrictions or otherwise restrictions we have are equal to what a normal family has. so please stop spreading false news about syeds.Recommend

  • ali raaja

    wow !! attleast syed zaadays can marry girl outside caste. i am rajput and i can’t marry girl outside my caste.Recommend

  • Hassan

    there is no respect for females in our society, in the name of honour killing is the biggest curse. 80% of our society is totally retarded, and that’s why our feudal politicians and leaders of the country play with their minds. Sad but a truth factRecommend

  • ahmad

    looks like my kind of story, me being “Hamza”. The only difference, i turned on the girl for misleading me into a hopeless world of syed zaadis.Recommend

  • Sleepless

    Very emotional and unfortunately, very true. As a Syed-zada who belongs to a progressive family with relatives still following such customs, I can relate to how you feel. I just hope God grants wisdom to all.Recommend

  • ali zaidi

    Get your facts right – Our prophets only daughter was married to Hazrat Ali. Hazrat Ali was our prophets cousignRecommend

  • wb

    This is the stupidest blog I’ve ever read.

    Lady, if you go to Indian streets, you’ll find a Syed among two Muslims. Are they all descendants of the prophet?

    The amount of inferiority complex that you find among Muslims of the world and especially that of Pakistanis is mind boggling.

    Just a few months ago, I read another blog by another stupid Pakistani woman who wrote that her son (who apparently died in a hospital) was very strong because he belonged to a family of military service men.

    Why are you Pakistanis such fools? I come from a Brahmin family. Some of my family members are service men who retired as colonels and Majors. Some of my family members are actors and magicians. Some of my family members are farmers. Some of my family members are doctors. Some are top businessmen.

    Myself, previously a software engineer, now a film director.

    Should I assume that my son is going to act in films, directing them himself, as he develops the special effects for the film himself, after retiring as a doctor in Indian army and possibly buying the Indian army?

    Not to mention one of my family member was a very successive politician too.

    How stupid and ridiculous are you Pakistanis and Muslims in general!!! My father was this, my mother is that…who are you? That’s all is going to matter in this world.Recommend

  • Chaaria

    Although it’s a piece of fiction but I can relate to this. I come from such a family where I have unmarried cousins, mismatched marriages and the burden of being born a’syed’. There’s never been an honour killing in my family but perhaps, because no girl in my family has dared to go against the family wishes.
    Things are changing in my family n I see a totally different life for my daughter. She’s free to marry whoever she wants – that’s my promise to her. Happiness of your child should be more important than customs n traditions.Recommend

  • Mk10001

    “Therefore, all Syed girls had a status equivalent to that of mothers of Ummah. Thus, it was forbidden for us to even consider marrying a non-Syed man. Everyone called the girls of our family bibi jee and, while growing up, this was a matter of pride for me.”…ermm no.

    I don’t know if you’re shia or not, or what their beliefs are in this regard. But most Muslims do not see any regular female Syed(a) in this day and age, as the “mothers of the Ummah”.

    The status of “Mother of the believers” is for the Wives of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him).

    As for marriage between a Syed and a Non Syed. Both Sunni and Shia scholars have dealt with this topic. Syed Ammar Nakshawani (twelver Shia) rejects the idea that a Syed cannot marry a non Syed, (both Male or Female), and has proven it with scholarly references and examples of the early Shia imams. In Pakistan, traditional Sunni scholars such as Pir Syed Naseeruddin Naseer (Golra Sharif) have also dealt with this topic too, his scholarly opinion was, no where within the sharia does it ban a Syed from marrying a non Syed, and people should not put their own whims and desires ahead of the sharia, by outlawing or banning something that is not banned within the sharia. Additionally, they shouldn’t say to any non-syed who has married a syed(a), that their nikah and marriage is haram.

    Im saying all of this, because many people justify this form of exclusivism (and the many other effects of it) in marriage, by saying, Islam forbids marriage between a Syed(a) and a Non Syed(a)….erm, no it doesn’t.

    A lot of this is just cultural bravado and chauvinism.

    Im pretty sure, (as usual with ET), they wont allow this comment to go through. But its just my take.Recommend

  • wb

    “Every man around me was selfish.”

    Clearly neither the author, nor the fictional character have read their own scriptures!Recommend

  • Syed A. Mateen

    There is no bar for Syed-Zaadis that they cannot marry any other person outside the cast. I am also a Sunni Syed and got married with a lady who is from Siddiqui family.

    Two of my younger sisters who are also Syed-Zaadis got married in non-Syed families. Both of my sisters are happily living with their husbands. Not only my sisters children have grownup but they too got married in non-Syed families.

    Now my sisters have become grandmothers. We did not face any issue because my sisters were Syed-Zaadis and their husbands were non-Syeds.

    It is unfortunate that most of the Syed families have made this as an issue and also as a matter of their pride and keep on insisting to get their daughters to get married only in Syed families.

    I do agree with the point of the writer that “When Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) can give his daughter’s hand in marriage to Usman (RA), who was not from his own family, then why can’t we grant that same right to our women?”

    Not every Syed family is a conservative family but yes I do agree that preference of Syed families are that their daughters should marry only with a Syed boy. This precedent is followed by most of the Syed families but at the same time one need to also evaluate the age factor of their girls.

    Time has come that few Syeds should standup in the society and try to resolve this social issue in order to save girls of Syed families from agony in order to save their futures. Unless, the fathers of few Syed-Zaadis will not stand-up to tackle this issue, this will not change the precedent but will keep on adding to the problems of Syed-Zaadis.

    As a Syed, I offer my services to start the campaign and would like to seek cooperation from like-minded Syeds so that I should play a positive role in the society and save Syed-Zaadis from agony.Recommend

  • Rehmat Ali

    Thanks for bringing this issue.I am totally agree with the contents narrated in the story reflecting true picture of our most of classes. This is misery in our country we still having dual selection criteria while selecting choosing brides or grooms for our children.The problem starts when we insist that we are the best and others lower This all because of people forgot last preaching of Mohammad PBUH.Recommend

  • SeaDiver

    Excellent, BravoRecommend

  • Milind A

    This is reminiscent of the Mughals.. who later on became bigots and never married off their princesses as everybody (including high-breed Muslim royals/noblemen) were below their station.. Aurangzeb’s daughters pined for their love and the exploits of Maratha ruler Shivaji had them fall for him….Recommend

  • Sonya

    All Shia Mujtahids do not not support of girls not marrying at all in the absence of no Syed proposal. The standards to accept or reject only relate to piousness not belonging to a Syed family. This is only a cultural taboo.Recommend

  • Bilal

    I Belong to syed family as well, it is preferable to find the match in the same family like all other castes but the story above is far away from reality and too mucb over rated Recommend

  • Riyaz Alee Rajuwa Nagri

    it was a good writing stuff of mentioning the bitter truth of society to some extent…it was such difficulties at that time.Now alhamdulliah sadat are in number of excess they can marry with in family or out side.While you are wrong that Uttman was married to prophet daughter…The holy prophet had only one daugther from Hazrat Khadeja A.S.better it was 100 percent biasedRecommend

  • Riyaz Alee Rajuwa Nagri

    it was a good writing stuff of mentioning the bitter truth of society to some extent…it was such difficulties at that time.Now alhamdulliah sadat are in number of excess they can marry with in family or out side.While you are wrong that Uttman was married to prophet daughter…The holy prophet had only one daugther from Hazrat Khadeja A.S.better it was 100 percent biasedRecommend

  • qureshi

    Men who pretend to do it all in the name of Islam, never had the courage to read the Book of Allah.
    If they did they would find out that everything they do is against the religion they pretend to follow.

    Thank you for highlighting this important issue.

    Women should know their rights and independently gain knowledge of religion.
    They should never blindly trust the “values” of their men.Recommend

  • Jamal Niazi

    First of All the daughters of Muhammad PBUH who were married to Hazrat usman (R.A) were not the hereditary daughters of PBUH but the adopted daughters of his other wives. Secondly if syed zaadi’s who are direct descendants of PBUH were to be married outside the family, than why prophet married her daughter Fatima tul Zahra (age 11-14) (R.A) to Hazrat Ali (24) by ignoring the age factor but giving importance to a family member. Syed zaadi’s are respected due to prestige of their Mother Fatim tul zahra and in the 1400 year of islamic time period, there is never been a incident where a syed zaadi objected her marriage (excluding the current era) but they respected the will of their parents. It’s a long debate although, marrying outside the syed family is not haram but at the same time is not a good step. Diamond looks good in the group diamonds but not with metals. I hope you got the pointRecommend

  • Syed Zadi

    This is complete and utter bull. These are the customs in a FEUDAL society where men marry daughters to Qur’an just so they won’t have to distribute the family property. In normal Syed families these customs like these are non existent. I am a Syed and yes Syed spouses for BOTH men and women at preferable but that doesn’t mean girls and boys dont get married outside community. These customs are inspired by greed in rural areas, don’t insult Syeds by painting them all with the same brush. Blame the men who make these stupid customs not our forefathers.Recommend

  • Pakistan

    This is gold. Irrational beliefs needtto end in this country if we are to progeess as a humane nation. Every muslim is equal. No syed or anyone else has a higher darja than the other individual, even if they claim to be direct decendents of The Prophet. Ridiculous culture.Recommend

  • Mateen Ahmad

    Home town ur making me proud once again…

    Recommend

  • Syedzada

    With due respect to writer being a Syed is not a pride nor a curse. All Muslims are equal… There is No difference in black and White or no difference in tribes in Islam.. You cant blame the mistakes of individual mindset to whole Tribe. I am from Syed Tribe and there is no such restrictions for syedzadi to marry a syed and Alhamdulilah none of our Sisters and womens in family are facing any issues. The problem is mindset of our people having in Pakistan. They are living in thier own imaginary world and they have created thier own laws in it… This story is not for one qabeela, you should portrayed it as the issue what most of the girls face in Pakistan. Killing on the name of honor , qabeela & Pride is common. The worst issue is literacy rate in our country. If we will not educate the nation it will never finish… Recommend

  • Umi

    SHAME on such extremist mentality.Recommend

  • Mobeen Ali

    I dont think so its kind of personell perception coz males also cant marry a non syed girl
    I am also syed and in my family my sisters are pride of my family they are well educated and married also , doing jobs also so dont impose ur personal experience on whole community
    Recommend

  • Sher Khan

    Syed Zaadis are allowed to marry outside. There are hundreds of thousands of Syeds in Pakistan alone, I’m wondering why they couldn’t find a match. It probably has to do with their social skills and the parents need to expand their horizon and look for other Syed families in Pakistan.
    The problem started with this Hamza guy. Bibi Jee why did you feel the need to do something your parents wouldn’t like. Perents ke samney tou insaan “uff” tak nehi keh sakta.
    Its not only the girls of Syeds, the girls of all other Pakisanis are facing the exact same issue. For example only in the United states and Canada there are literally thousands of Pakistani families who can’t find proper match for their daughters. Girls become so liberal minded that they can’t tolerate to marry a guy from Pakistan and want a guy who grew up like them in a secular/western society. Now the liberal minded Pakistani guy does not take interest in that liberal minded Pakistani girl and looks for white girls instead.
    But within Pakistan, there is this hierarchy of status, and there is a huge difference of education level among the people of Pakistan. Those who do FSc can never mix up with those who do O and A levels.
    In another scenario, Pakistani families are so busy running after money, that they never pay proper attention to their kids growing up in western culture. The results are girls like Nadia Ali ending up in porn industries.Recommend

  • Sand Quilt

    Lady, i am a feminist my self.
    Gender equality: i have no idea what the world wants, Even in our country women have all the rights, jobs education and all. With your immaculate work of fiction, please note there are men as well that have to marry by default.
    There is a proverbial elephant in the room, which no one talks about. The problem in our society is about strong and weak. Solve this, and the equation would simplify itself.Recommend

  • shoukat Lohar

    It has become almost impossible to break the tightening Shakels and chains to women in our beloved country. The increased extremism has left the society totally wreckaged.
    We can flash back in 70z Pakistan was little open but now the state of people is adequately aggregated. The so called education which even is itself questionable has not done the steel mindset of our absolute and sturdy society.
    We must think women as human beings not as commodity or property. However, the blogger has tried her best to air the burning issue. We only can hope for the day to come when a woman would not be killed in the name of so called honor or cosmetic feudalistic pride.
    Recommend

  • Fizza Rizvi

    You cannot make a diamond ring without adding a metal. And your understanding of history is very weak my dear. Women have been victim of this Syed Non-Syed issue since long. The only difference is in the reaction. With more education we have finally understood that it is not haram and the main responsibility over father is to marry his daughter not to marry her to a specific person. So ignoring your responsibility for a reason that is not obligatory is something that makes no sense to me. Parents must not hide their ego in the guise of Islamic obligationsRecommend

  • Taha Rizvi

    I read the article and which shows the miserable life of an individual in a village.
    But let me correct you in the end where you stated that our last Prophet (p.b.u.h) married his daughter to Usman. Which is not true and if you consider Usman’s age and relation at the time, Which is completely prohibited in Islam.

    P.S:
    References will be provided if needed. But I would urge readers to do their esearch and do maths the age of both. Usman was around 65 and Bibi Kulsoom was nearly age of 6 that time.
    Recommend

  • Queen

    Kindly note that Prophet Muhammad’s two daughters married Hazrat Uthman RA. Hazrat Ruqayyah bint Muhammad RA, who accompanied Hazrat Uthman RA on his migration to Abyssinia. After her death, Hazrat Uthman married her sister Hazrat Umm Kulthum bint Muhammad RA. This is why Hazrat Uthman RA is called Zun Norain (Possessor of two lights).Recommend

  • Usama Ibrahim

    You are damn out of your mind man if you claim that The Holy Prophet (SAWW) had only one daughter from Mother of the faithful Hazrat Khadija (RA). Don’t bring shame to religion by making such false and ignorant claims.Recommend

  • http://solace-engineers.com/ UMAR FAROOQ

    “Those who do FSc can never mix up with those who do O and A levels.”
    Excuse me. I did FSc and now I hire O&A leveled boys who did engineering from best universities of our country and abroad too. Grow-Up. It reflects your mentality that’s stuck in FSC vs A levels and iPhone Vs QMobile Recommend

  • Qurat Ulayn

    This in shorter term is called casteism, we being followers of Prophet(s.a.w) believe in casts which is a shame for us. Syed’s have since long used religion to manipulate societies by making there say as the last word of the managers if Islam. I had many friends who belonged to the same curse, some managed being rebels but 90% succumbed to the pressure. There are women who are dying alive living in cages but the venom is so much deep rooted that we cannot do anything,nothing overnight for sure.Recommend

  • marik

    Weird story since I’m a ghair syed and I’m married to a Syed wife and ours was a very arranged marraige.Recommend

  • Syed Zeeshan ul Hassan

    Being Syed is not a Curse. However, i agree on this most of Syed families do force their kids. I am Syed and I wanted to marry someone out of family, which my family didn’t allowed me because of her Cast and her family also didn’t allowed her because i am out of their cast
    In society we are considered as the family from which people can learn and being Syed you have a responsibility to become ideal for your surroundings.

    Preferably, for ladies it is kind of important as if they are married to other cast their cast will change according to their husband cast however for male there is no such restrictions.

    In my family, ladies who are getting older and not able to find a proper proposal from the family side are allowed to marry out of cast. I have lot of female and male cousins who are married out of their Cast and according to me it is totally vary family to family. i have heard lot of cases like this from different casts, rajput, gujar, etc every single family want their child to marry within their family or least within their cast. so you cant tag one cast i am sure there are thousands of ladies n gents who have the same stories but they are not Syed.Recommend

  • fil123

    Nonsense…writer is explaining her own perception not of the whole nation..I, myself is a syed zadi and there are not such restrictions. Girls in my family are educated and doing jobs. This story is related to KPK…where there is such culture irrespwctive of cast..so don’t impose such biased mentallity to our society..Recommend

  • Mrs. Mine

    Well i agree with riyaz prophet muhammad s.a.w had only one daughter of his own from hazrat Khadija a.s and other 3 were he adopted them and raised them and call them daughters they were not His ( pbuh) daughters by blood .his only daughter was Bibi Fatima Zahra a.s from Hazrat Khadija and if u say that other 3 were his daughters then daughters from which wife ? In history it is written that he has only 1 daughter and other were adopted and prophet Muhammad s.a.w gave his daughter from his own blood to his uncles son who was also saeyad . And in past if search that once a wife of phophet is not allowed to marry any one and how can u expect that he would give his daughter from blood to non saeyad all these myth that he had 3 other daughter is a lack of islamic knowledge it is written in sahi bukhari that other 3 were adopted they were not his blood daughters thats why he married them to hazrat usam and hazrat abu bakar because they were not saeyed . Saeyad has ristrictions on marrying other casts because it is the owner and a syed can marry non saeyed women because to increase saeyeds sayed husband and non saeyed women give birth to saeyed but yess if there are still women in family of saeyed then he has to marry them .Recommend

  • Xeeshan

    In Iran, Imam khomeni got married his daughters to non syed’s and there is clear fatwa of Ayatollah Sistani about this allowing Syeda merraige to non non syed. Rest is stubbornness thay our community has and some thing to do with Hindu community that we got from native culture. Recommend

  • Xeeshan

    In Iran, Imam khomeni got married his daughters to non syed’s and there is clear fatwa of Ayatollah Sistani about this allowing Syeda merraige to non non syed. Rest is stubbornness thay our community has and some thing to do with Hindu community that we got from native culture.

    Considering Imam khomeni action what would be your take on this. Please stop mixing your personal stubbornness and so called proud with religion. Recommend

  • Jamal Niazi

    True that. It is to be noted that, in a couple when only husband is syed and the girl is non syed, than the the child born from them is regarded a lower level syed due to not having a strong breed. Just is the case with syed zaadi, when she marries to non syed man than the child born is not regarded a syed.Recommend

  • Jamal Niazi

    Just give me one proper incident which has occurred regarding this matter in the history, excluding the current era. Besides if such marriages started to be occurred more frequently than there will be few left, who had a strong breed of being syed. It’s not about forcing a religion, it’s about protecting a pious breed. It’s spiritual and personal opinion thats it.Recommend

  • Agha

    ” Even in our country women have all the rights, jobs education and all.” What a naive statement. Only a minority of women have “all” the rights in pakistan. Wake up from the slumber buddy and smell the coffee.Recommend

  • Agha

    Meanwhile you are free to paint people of religions, cultures and nations with a wide single brush. Bravo.Recommend

  • Muhammad ismiel

    Recently, i was in kashmir, where i witness such a story which based on caste, and finally they make compromise by leaving their whole life in darkness, in tranquility, in misseries, we can now only pry for them. i always thinks about it, where our social customs in the name of religion or other soical rituals, are leading the next generation.Recommend

  • Syed Ali Raza Shah

    First, Holy prophet (PBUH) had only one biological daughter named Hazrat Fatima Zehra. If he had four, as some mentioned, all of offsprings from four bibis would have called Syeds. Since, only offspring of bibi Fatima is called Syeds then surely Holy Prophet (p.b.u.h) had one daughter. Second, the story told here is not doing any justice. In the name of liberalism they want us Muslims to forget our limitations. The logical fallacy used here that, if Boy Syed can marry non-Syed girl then Girl Syed can also marry non- Syed boy is far from understanding. It would be like If Muslim man can marry Christian female then Muslim woman can also marry a non-muslim. Islam has given us standards and laws being a muslim we must abide to these laws. If Syed Zaadi mentioned in this article had no match within her own relatives, there were more then 8 million Syeds living in Pakistan alone. The tragic death, however, is equally deplorable. Father who killed his daughter should have killed himself for two reasons, 1st he appear to fail to give his daughter best awareness of the meaning of pridefulness of Syeds. 2nd, he did not want to give hands of his daughter to a Syed other then his Family. Recommend

  • Bilal Zaman

    Not just this post is a piece of fiction, but also all this Syed and non Syed is a piece of fiction too. Why the name Syed makes anyone more important religiously?
    About this orthodox culture, yes I am witness to these kinds of issues. Syed, Rajput and many other families are well established, educated enough to understand this but still they follow these traditions.Recommend

  • Hassan Jalil

    Reading this saddens me. I belong from a Syed Family and my parents never had this restriction. Both my sisters have been married to non Syed Family and they are happy in their home.
    It saddens me that in this day and age, people still think cast plays a role

    Sadly by imposing the marrying only in Syed family you are actually going against the teaching of Quran and the Holy Prophets, whose direct descendant you so proudly claim to be

    Diamond look good in a group of Diamonds. Yes us Syed’s are diamonds while the rest of the humanity is coal…… You should be ashamed of your self for even thinking like that
    May Allah guide you to the right path.Recommend

  • Hassan Jalil

    Please. stop living in ignorance. Islam says there is no difference between people except their piousness. Islam says we are all Children of Hazrat Adam and equal.
    There is no difference between Syed and Non Syed
    And for your kind information, I am Syed.Recommend

  • Hassan Jalil

    Syed, non syed , Male , female makes no difference. Muslim women can Marry Muslim men and vice versa regardless of the fact they are syed or not. Please stop living in thid delusion that Syed’s are better or holier.
    Islam says we are all Children of Adam and only thing that deferential us is our piousness. Not the khandan we belong to.Recommend

  • Hassan Jalil

    Because the whole thing has more to do with culture and less to do with religion.
    Its our culture that we like to marry with in the same cast. Islam has imposed no such conditions.
    Its sad how we drag islam into our own perverted cultural valuesRecommend

  • Hassan Jalil

    So you refute religious based cast system (which I personally believe is wrong. Being a syed does not make me better or worse than any one else) with region based cast system.
    “my Pashtun mother would rather me marry even a poor uneducated Afridi partner than a so called “Syed” from another area”

    How is this any better than a Syed not willing to marry outside Syed khandan?Recommend

  • Faheem

    I don’t find it different from the Christians who believe that Jesus died for our sins.Recommend

  • Mike Pilgrim

    Ridiculous nonsense, reminds me of the crackpot Meringovians who claim they are descendants of Jesus. Neither Jesus nor Muhammad had any male heirs (Muhammad’s only son died very young) the whole basis for the Meringovian-Syed claims is a gigantic lie.Recommend

  • Jamal Niazi

    Fatim tul zahra is called ummahatul momineen and so does the status transfer to her heritage. Which means the daughter belonging to syed family avail this status, that is why we call them with their title “Bibi Gee”. So, how will you justify a mother of momineen marrying to an ummati? The point i want to raise is that it is not a haram relation but at the same time it is not a good step. Just like Divorce is not haram, but a right, but then again is not liked by the Almighty. I just want an authentic example from the lineage of 1st imam to 12th imam where they let their daughter marry to a non-syed. If anyone can provide such an example. I will give up on my opinion. It’s simple :)Recommend

  • Jamal Niazi

    yes we are coal and then again by doing good deeds, we are rewarded the status of diamond. Look at Hazrat Salman Farsi (R.A), who was raised as as a Zoroastrian, then attracted to Christianity, and after meeting Prophet PBUH converted to Islam. Than PBUH considered him as a part of his household (Ahl-e-Bayat). On the other side, syeds who eventually lost their status by not accepting the will of Almighty were drop down from diamond to coal. Examples Include Ismail. the son of 6th imam Jaffir Saddiq, who did not accepted his brother Musa Kazim (R.A) as the 7th imam.

    Before Commenting on such crucial matters, please come up with authentic evidence. Asking me to be ashamed is not going work. It would be better if you come up with good argument and make me ashamed by evidence not by asking me to be it. I hope you got the point :)Recommend

  • Zeeshan

    First of all if you belong to syed family u must know that Nabi S.A.W has only one daughter.. BiBi Zehra s.a and other were the girls who were just brought up at Nabi S.A.W Place…
    Next is this that if Nabi S.A.W can marry a woman of age 45 then y can’t a girl age 20 marry a 40 years old man plus with due respect getting your daughter married according to your own will is not
    Just limited to the syed family but its common in
    the entire Pakistani society , so curse yourself
    For being a part of Pakistani society not for being a syed-zadi…
    Recommend

  • Hakuna Matata

    Sorry to say but its strictly not allowed to Inter-Marriage between a Syed and Non-Syed if you do that than the Hashemtie Lineage will become mixed. Its not about Syed which is a later term but its Hashemite as both Hazrat Fatima R.A and Hazrat Ali R.A were Hashemite but Hazrat Hussein R.A Married with an Iranian Woman so their offspring are not Pure Hashemites so many Hassaniyah or Offspring from Hazrat Hassan R.A Consider them pure Hashemite.Recommend

  • http://booknsharemedia.com AudioBooks Lover

    You must be a shia.. history wont change with your beliefs.. the Holy Prophet (s.a.w) had 4 daughters. Zainab, Rukayya, UmmeKulsoom, Zahra.

    2 were married to Hazrat Usman (r.a). Your (wrongful) hatred of Usman (r.a) wont change history. Read history and change your viewsRecommend

  • PROUDSYEDA

    Iam a syed zadi n im marrying a non syed! My family is happy! We r 4 sisters and HIGHLY EDUCATED. Its not abt caste but the family background which varies. U r ridiculing the syeds. I didnt obey the LAW OF NOT MARRYING OUTSIDE but that doesnt mean u curse the blood line. Your family’s act is wrong but that doesnt mean ALL SYEDS ARE WRONG AND BEING A SYED IS A CURSE. And royal blood shouldnt go outside. Rajputs do that chaudhrys do that – they dont marry their daughtes outside. Its the family not the caste.Recommend

  • Hassan Jalil

    Pious breed?
    Can you please read my reply where Quran and Hadith clearly state we are all children of Adam and our race or color does not define us. Our deeds do.
    Being born a Syed does not make us better than a non Syed. Their is nothing Pious about being a Syed if the person is not pious himself. Its ones own action that define who he is, not who gave birth to him.

    As I said, being a Syed I am ashamed at your thinking. Allah Tala nay Garoor karnay say bhe mana kia hai
    “Pious Breed”Recommend

  • Hassan Jalil

    Who our ancestors were should no longer be a source of pride for us. It does not make us any more pious than other people.

    So please, by saying Syed are more pious than others, you are actually going agaisnt the Teaching of The Holy Prophet and AllahRecommend

  • stevenson

    Sounds like Hinduism to me dude. I suppose some people have fused Hinduism into their new faith when they converted.Recommend

  • Anwaar

    this whole Syed zaday notion is crap …

    first of all u pakis … u r ancestors were Hindus so stop saying that u r from Prophets family …

    Second.. all these family lines given as proof (Shajra in Urdu) is not authentic.. as many tribes were displaced many are extinct and no wonder what else happened

    Third.. even if you are from the family of Prophet .. it does not give u any sort of superiority in ANY MATTER whether religious or social over other muslims .. as all muslims as per Islam are equal in the eyes of God… so by claiming to be better or anything else u r rejecting Islam’s most important factor of equality…Recommend

  • Mike Pilgrim

    Jesus did indeed die for the sins of his followers, Christians blaspheme, calling Jesus “God” or “only begotten son of God” for which Jesus was crucified. Christians don’t realize they are admitting their blasphemy when they say he died for their sins.Recommend

  • Mike Pilgrim

    There is NO “Syed” in Qur’an that is a Haram Bida invention of people who associate themselves adding to Qur’an which is Haram. These haram practices have been invented in India under Hindu influences by “scholars of the law” which is also a haram term according to Qur’an. Indians have serious problems not understanding Qur’an.Recommend

  • Mike Pilgrim

    Syed is haram bida invention. It is not jaiz wahi from Allah. Do not teach this Hindu things.Recommend

  • Mike Pilgrim

    This is all haram bida inventions prohibited by QuranRecommend

  • Mike Pilgrim

    Hindus wont be Muslim until they completely stop their Hindu practices. They claim to be Muslim, one look at their Hindu “riwaj” weddings tells you they are not Muslims.Recommend

  • Mike Pilgrim

    This is characteristic of Uttar Pradesh Hindu “converts” who are more Hindu in their Brahmin, Dalit beliefs. Recommend

  • Mike Pilgrim

    Actually, Syed is a curseRecommend

  • Mike Pilgrim

    Castes are haram. People make a big noise about alcohol haram, then they add ten other haram in its place, like Syed.Recommend

  • Zarina Qaisar

    No, not at all…not marrying their princesses had more political reason i.e to invite more claimants to royal privileges, interfering in royal deeds or sharing sometimes the royal seat a threat to their own supremacy etc…..it hardly was a matter of status or so…..Recommend

  • mshakeelattari

    AgreeRecommend

  • Mike Pilgrim

    …and none of this is in Qur’an. Get out of this bida you have invented. Worship Allah ONLY. Allah did not appoint for you any daughters of the prophet to worship. The ONLY mention of children in Qur’an is of “the first-born SON who is “consecrated to God”” Since daughters are NOT mentioned you are PROHIBITED from inventing YOUR QURAN. Unbelievable pagan nonsense.Recommend

  • Mike Pilgrim

    Are these “Shia Mujtahids” your Gods? Why do you worship these mujtahids. Obey GOD and HIS Qur’an. If a subject is not mentioned in Qur’an, this means Allah doesn’t care about this subject and you are on the wrong path. If you go to mujtahids and their haram bida inventions Allah says he will add years to your life in Hell.Recommend

  • Mike Pilgrim

    Mughals did not wish their daughters to marry people like “syeds” who by the use of the term “syed” identified themselves as non Muslim. Muslims do not bida invent practices like “syed”Recommend

  • Mike Pilgrim

    What is missing in this article, is Allah hears and sees these people making these “syed” or “zaidi” false claims. Allah has warned and warned people not to invent (bida) things like “syed” and “zaidi” Allah has gone so far as to curse these inventions, the curse is “He will add years to their life in Hell” When Allah has clearly cursed this “syed” and “zaidi’ bida and people continue to make these claims then he will be cast into the Fire.Recommend

  • Mike Pilgrim

    How can you be proud of this activity? Inventing things that are not allowed by Allah. Recommend

  • Hassan Mujtaba

    when an entrepreneur writes on social development, such a fuss comes out lolRecommend

  • Hassan Jalil

    So, according to your current view Being a Muslim made them diamond. While you were bragging about how being Syed makes you a diamond and how they should not be mixed with others (referring to Non Syed Muslims )
    My Point is being Syed does not make us better than any other Muslim Its what we do that differentiate us. Being born in a Syed Family does not make us diamond. If we do good Deeds we can be considered diamonds. Hence marrying into non syed should not be an issue. If they are pious they are diamonds, regardless of their castRecommend

  • Hassan Jalil

    How about look up in Quran and Hadith how Allah talks about we all being Sons of Hazrat Adam and nothing differentiates us except our deeds ?

    So are you refuting that we are all equal (which is clearly mentioned in Quran)Recommend

  • Riyaz Alee Rajuwa Nagri

    keep Your thoughts to your self dearRecommend

  • Riyaz Alee Rajuwa Nagri

    on which basis you are syed would you please explain and which clan you belong?Recommend

  • Riyaz Alee Rajuwa Nagri
  • Riyaz Alee Rajuwa Nagri

    well saidRecommend

  • Riyaz Alee Rajuwa Nagri

    Why you have probelm Family of ahlubiat if descendents of Ali a.s and Fatima are respected??.Exactly the criteria of pious is on taqwa.But the role Models are Ali and Fatima A.SRecommend

  • Riyaz Alee Rajuwa Nagri

    Keep your faith to your selfRecommend

  • sidkun79

    I am neither an Islamic scholar nor any kind of Islamic Aalim, but according to normal and common sense, I agree with Hassan Jalil sahab. And according to common sense, even if we consider that “pious breed” excuse, breed is taken ahead by men, so why should the women suffer? and whether you have sons or daughters the matter is in Allah (SWT) ‘s hand …

    Secondly is there anything related to it in Quran and Ahadith? I am seriously asking to bring it forward, so everyone can get knowledge.
    *No harm and offense intended to anyone.Recommend

  • Riyaz Alee Rajuwa Nagri

    I have been to Holy shrines never saw the graves of daughter except Fatima.Never saw in a history books While the name Umme kulsoom binth Ali was the daughter of Hazrat Ali ,Sister of Hazrat Zainab a.s .Ruqqaiya is daugter of Hazrat Imam Hussain a.s. While in ahle sunnat literature i have heared Zun Norain.May be adopted daugters of holy prophet as i mentioned that the only daugther was Hazrat Fatima A.SRecommend

  • Riyaz Alee Rajuwa Nagri

    History is history not shia nor sunni my brother….But who had Martyr Hazrat Uthman and why?Recommend