Sapna Babul ka Bidai soaps it up, Star Plus style

Published: December 17, 2010
SHARES
Email

The two sisters on the Star Plus show are submissive, self-sacrificing characters.

Question: Ever wondered how someone can stretch the lamest concept to such heights that it can span over 5,000 episodes?

Answer:  So did I, till I had to go through the horror of watching a soap on Indian television called “Sapna Babul Ka Bidaai” (Marriage, the dream of a father).

Narrated below is a scene between two sisters who apparently love and hate each other at the same time and yet they claim to be one big happy family.

Rag-nee: What is up?

Sad-henna: Nothing much, you tell oh dear cute lovely sister of mine?

Rag-nee: Well, just waiting for my lovely, cute husband to come back so I can act like a total loser, make him food and romance with him from 10 meters away because the censor board doesn’t like us touching each other unless I’m dying or falling off a cliff.

Sad-henna: Oh haan, I remember that happened to me in episode 4,400.  I was falling off a cliff and my husband who wasn’t actually my husband but someone else in disguise saved me.

Rag-nee: Oh well, is it just me or Sad-henna do you look like a total aunty?!

Sad-henna: Aunty? What? Are you trying to insult me?

A third person looks on in utter dismay

Rag-nee: What’s for dinner?

Sad-henna: Oh, I made the chappatis now just waiting for episode 5,500 so I can think of what to cook. The awful chappati cooking episode took so much of my time.

Interval

Rag-nee: Where were we?

Sad-henna: In the lovely abode we call home.

Rag-nee: Where is my husband?!

Sad-henna: Didn’t you know he got cut from the show. Now in order to facilitate the damage the casting crew got another guy who looks somewhat like your husband but you have to treat him like he was your husband so the ten million people watching the show don’t figure out the fact that he isn’t actually the same husband you had in the last episode.

Rag-nee: To be or not to be?!

Sad-henna: You cow!

Rag-nee: So what’s for dinner?

Sad-henna: I thought I explained that in the last episode?

Rag-nee: I didn’t catch the re-run so I forgot what happened.

Sad-henna: Which re-run did you miss?

Rag-nee: The one at one pm.

Sad-henna: But what about the re-run at two pm, three pm, four pm and a special two hour re-run at five pm?

Rag-nee: Where’s my sari?!

Life comes to a standstill

Sad-henna: I gave it to the tailor.

Rag-nee: What for?

Sad-henna: You asked me to in episode 2,200.

Rag-nee: I did? I don’t remember, wait is this the set for Mein Pagal Anjani Huu?

Sad-henna: No silly! This is the rehearsal for the award ceremony.

Rag-nee: What awards?

Sad-henna: WikiLeaks?

Rag-nee stares into nothingness for the next two episodes marred with weird lightning noises to showcase the fact that she actually is in a state of shock

Sad-henna cries for the next four episodes – two for sadness and two for extreme joy when rag-nee finally comes back to her senses but forgets who she is.

Director: CUT! Brilliant!

hashim.numani

Hashim Nauman

A photo blogger who works for a Telecom company who loves to write and plays the guitar.

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • Dr. Amyn Malik

    I wonder why you had to watch this drama? Recommend

  • ahmed

    awesome just marvelous it’s like awesomeeeeeRecommend

  • Amna Zakeer

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA. This is awesome. =D Thumbs upRecommend

  • +

    LOL.. hahaha NAAAICERecommend

  • Q Dar

    LOL this is mad funny !! gotta love the ending the most hahahahahaRecommend

  • Muhammad emad

    beautiful.teary eyesRecommend

  • Talha

    Lol, is this the show where they have a mentally challenged character who keeps uttering ‘Dost, Dost’.

    This must end.Recommend

  • HAMMAD ALI HASSAN

    wow what a stuff..
    brilliant….Recommend

  • Hammad

    Hilarious. gave a good laugh.
    infact my life would be at a stand still untill i see ragnee and sad henna continue this dialoge in the next post.Recommend

  • http://www.noor-ul-ainhanif.blogspot.com Noor-ul-ain Hanif

    hahahahahah:D:D:DRecommend

  • http://syedaabidabokhari.wordpress.com The Only Normal Person Here.

    Hilarious. However you have got to hand it to them, they pretty successfully keep the majority of females on this part of the world engrossed in it. Recommend

  • Ayisha

    lol…thumbs up to u Hashim.. wat a tribute to a “great” drama of torture:PRecommend

  • feathered brain

    OMG! it was hilarious!!! hahahahahahaRecommend

  • ahmed

    @Ayisha:
    “drama of torture” :)Recommend

  • http://www.sidrahmoizkhan.blogspot.com Sidrah Moiz Khan

    Super dragged just like the soap!Recommend

  • RhyMe

    lolz this is somewhat the way i also make fun of these boring,never ending and not close to reality in anyway indian soap operas!!!….keep it up Hasim Nauman!Recommend

  • Zunaira

    oh hahahahhaaa…brilliant! but their dialogue here is a tad bit more sensible compared to the nonsense these millions of women are addicted to! Amazing.Recommend

  • wajiha

    You have actually researched on this it seems!!! i can imagine the painstaking in compiling all the details and actually sharing your pain of researching on such popular futilities on the Idiot box, but then what else to expect from the Idiot!!

    BTW, don’t make yourself go through this again, you might end up being suicidal
    and witnessing yourself jumping off the cliff yourself !!! Beaware of the SOAP!!! and dont slip!Recommend

  • http://grsalam.wordpress.com Ghausia

    I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but… sobs

    Ragni’s hubby died in an accident and the doctor that couldn’t save him felt guilty and then they became friends and somehow they decided he’d act like Ragni’s daughter’s dad so she wouldn’t grow up without a dad and Ragni was also Khushi’s aka Sadhna’s daughter’s fake-mom as Sadhna had died because the actress wanted to go in the movies and then the dad reverted back to a retard when Sadhna died and then his mom wanted to get him married so Khushi would have a proper only the girl she picked was pregnant by some ex and that was why she wanted to get amrried ASAP and Ragni found out and the retard refused to marry her cause he was married to Sadhna or dead Sadhna rather so the mom said no in the eyes of the world she’s his wife and so on and so forth. Oh and Ragni married the doctor in the end.

    My explanation; my dad goes on a lot of business trips. Mom’s alone so I spend my evenings with her. She watches Star Plus. The rest is history. :D Back in my teen years I used to watch Star Plus a lot, they have the stupidest storylines, plastic surgeries, reincarnations, fake deaths, its ridiculous. In one show I lost count of how many times the heroine got married after the fifth one!Recommend

  • amj91

    Oh my gosh.. funniest thing ever!Recommend

  • Rajat

    lol..You overdid it mate, the original dialogues itself makes you cry with mirth.. just a simple translation would suffice. Anyway good going..Recommend

  • amna

    hahahaha :)
    Hilarious!!!Recommend

  • usama

    hahahah awesome..bt reali u had to watch thx soap???Recommend

  • ali

    @Zunaira:
    helo Recommend

  • rizwann

    @ gausia

    nice try
    you actyally did better than blog itself
    you can write too Recommend

  • http://punjabianz.com OMAIR

    @Dr. Amyn Malik:
    yes I THINK PEOPLE ARE CRAZY Recommend

  • Sanya Shiraz

    ONE OF THE MOST HILARIOUS PIECES IVE COME ACROSS! Lol :DRecommend

  • ayesha

    rofl!! this gave me a gud laugh!!Recommend

  • A Chowdhury

    Watch Bengali (Kolkata based) serials (I won’t call them soaps). They are far far matured than Star Plus’ or Colors’ soaps. Very pragmatic in approach.

    @ Author – Even I don’t like watching these soaps but still I refrain from criticizing it, because, they provide entertainment to millions of women on both sides of the border and cause no harm to me. If you don’t like it why don’t you stop watching it instead of making a mock analysis which is absolutely unproductive. Recommend

  • capricorn

    hahahahhaha:DRecommend

  • jssidhoo

    W o W that was great . The fact that our soaps are a PAIN is one of the few things we Indians and Pakistanis agree on . So we know where the peace talks should start from .Recommend

  • Nobody

    Lol I found your version entertaining, but at the same time I will say, while I generally dislike soaps and the exaggerated drama muddled in terrible storylines (whether American or Indian and some Pakistani), I’ve come across a few Pakistani ones I actually found quite decent. Recommend