This Saudi therapist teaches husbands how to beat their wives

Where did this man gain his qualifications? ISIS territory? Oh, that’s right; he probably earned them in Saudi Arabia.

Noman Ansari April 27, 2016
Saudi Arabia is a kingdom where women aren’t allowed to drive, can’t vote like men, must dress like ninjas, and often take the legal blame if raped. Without permission from their husbands/fathers, they can’t leave the country, can’t open a bank account, can’t obtain a passport, can’t pursue higher education, and more.

These laws open Saudi women to abuse. Depending on the luck of the draw, if a Saudi woman ends up with an abusive husband or father (like the Saudi preacher who raped his ‘flirty’ five-year-old daughter to teach her a lesson) she is destined for a life of misery.

These laws are intended to do only one thing: control.

A woman who is controlled is easy to manage like an animal rather than a human being with her own hopes, wants, and desires.

Recently, a video of a Saudi therapist with some worrisome advice for Saudi husbands gained traction. If you haven’t seen it already, here it is:


First of all, where did this man gain his qualifications? ISIS territory?  Oh, that’s right; he probably earned them in Saudi Arabia.

Like any counselor, a family therapist must always maintain a neutral stance, yet this man revels in his biases. For one, he clearly believes wives are like pets, and must be disciplined as such.

Here are some of his quotes:
“Welcome to our show, which will deal with wife beating.”

I love how nonchalantly he starts the show, as if he is talking about something as casual as teaching us how to polish our antique furniture. Yes, let’s talk about the correct way to beat our wives today; please tune in tomorrow for my advice on how to stay in denial about your own mental illness.
“I am aware that this issue is a thorny one.”

Interesting choice of words considering he is sitting alone in a forest surrounded by thorny bushes.
“I believe the problem arises when husbands do not understand how to deal with disobedience.”

Read: I believe the problem arises when husbands do not understand how to deal with a wife who is her own person.
“Some women disobey their husbands and make mistakes with them.”

The first mistake was marrying said husband.
“Then comes the second stage – forsaking her in bed.”

Oh don’t worry. I am sure she knows how to use proxies.
“Here too, some husbands make mistakes.”

Read: She’s now sleeping with the driver who doesn’t ignore her.
“Which might exacerbate the problem further.”

If you know what I mean.
“If, for example, the husband leaves his bed and goes to another house, everybody knows there is a problem.”

Yes, everyone is like, ‘Oh God, it is Abdul again. Lock your doors.’
“The point of forsaking her in bed is to discipline the wife.”

A perfect way to control her, because legally, the husband can find another outlet for his sexual desires with another wife, but she (and let’s be honest, women desire sex as much as men), has no legal option. Instead she turns to Orangzaib.
“And not to air your dirty laundry in public.”

I am sorry, I can’t get this horrible image out of my head.
“Which means you should sleep in the same bed as her, but turn your back on her.”

Sounds kinky.
“By the way, as a woman once told me, this is the most ingenious way to discipline a wife.”

Clearly she had an agenda, like keeping away from husbands with dirty laundry.
“Then comes the third stage – the issue of beating. We have to understand that the aim is to discipline, not to vent one’s anger.”

Yes, because in mankind’s history, men have never crossed the fine line between disciplining a person, and beating the s*** out of them. It is perplexing that as a therapist, this man hasn’t once actually advised the couple to discuss their grievances in a constructive and civilised manner.
“Unfortunately, some wives want to live a life of equality with their husbands.”

Or rather, unfortunately some husbands don’t want to live a life of equality with their wives.
“In addition, sometimes a woman makes a mistake that might lead her husband to beat her.”

There isn’t a single mistake that justifies domestic violence.
“I am sad to say that there are some women who say: ‘Go ahead. If you are a real man, beat me.’ She provokes him.”

If you were a real human being you would consider that no woman would say this unless she had grown up around a system of abuse where something as horrible as wife beating was considered normal.

If some women can argue that an instrument of slavery like the niqab is justified, then sadly, it is no surprise that they can also believe that wife beating is justified.
WRITTEN BY:
Noman Ansari The author is the editor-in-chief of IGN Pakistan, and has been reviewing films and writing opinion pieces for The Express Tribune as well as Dawn for five years. He tweets as @Pugnate (twitter.com/Pugnate)
The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necassarily reflect the views and policies of the Express Tribune.

COMMENTS (171)

Sufian | 7 years ago | Reply You mean the sunni-shia killings which are trigered/funded by RAW? Yes Pakistan would have been better had it not been born because RAW and its dirty tricks wouldn't be there. But we can't be sure either that there wouldn't be Gujrat riots in this region. Are you aware of the horrible crimes like Gujrat riots in your own country? No Pakistan involvement, because your own men are sufficient for such animalistic acts of violence.
Sufian | 7 years ago | Reply A woman is allowed to take divorce but not with meaningless reasons. If she only married this guy to go back to the previous guy, she's only abusing the wonderful institute of marriage.
mjm | 7 years ago well, her first reason was that he beat her. that didn't seem to work so then she accused him of being impotent for some reason. "If she only married this guy to go back to the previous guy" that doesn't make sense. can't she just say she doesn't want to be married to the guy? is that not reason enough? so where are the valid reasons laid out in the perfect law, sharia? the ambiguity seems to be creating problems.
mjm | 7 years ago well, her first reason was that he beat her. that didn't seem to work so then she accused him of being impotent for some reason. "If she only married this guy to go back to the previous guy" that doesn't make sense. can't she just say she doesn't want to be married to the guy? is that not reason enough? so where are the valid reasons laid out in the perfect law, sharia? the ambiguity seems to be creating problems. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gZCFdHkd4A
VIEW MORE COMMENTS
Replying to X

Comments are moderated and generally will be posted if they are on-topic and not abusive.

For more information, please see our Comments FAQ