This Saudi therapist teaches husbands how to beat their wives

Published: April 27, 2016
Email

It is perplexing that as a therapist, this man hasn’t once actually advised the couple to discuss their grievances in a constructive and civilised manner. PHOTO: TWITTER.COM/KhaledAlSaqaby

It is perplexing that as a therapist, this man hasn’t once actually advised the couple to discuss their grievances in a constructive and civilised manner. PHOTO: TWITTER.COM/KhaledAlSaqaby It is perplexing that as a therapist, this man hasn’t once actually advised the couple to discuss their grievances in a constructive and civilised manner. PHOTO: SCREENSHOT

Saudi Arabia is a kingdom where women aren’t allowed to drive, can’t vote like men, must dress like ninjas, and often take the legal blame if raped. Without permission from their husbands/fathers, they can’t leave the country, can’t open a bank account, can’t obtain a passport, can’t pursue higher education, and more.

These laws open Saudi women to abuse. Depending on the luck of the draw, if a Saudi woman ends up with an abusive husband or father (like the Saudi preacher who raped his ‘flirty’ five-year-old daughter to teach her a lesson) she is destined for a life of misery.

These laws are intended to do only one thing: control.

A woman who is controlled is easy to manage like an animal rather than a human being with her own hopes, wants, and desires.

Recently, a video of a Saudi therapist with some worrisome advice for Saudi husbands gained traction. If you haven’t seen it already, here it is:

First of all, where did this man gain his qualifications? ISIS territory?  Oh, that’s right; he probably earned them in Saudi Arabia.

Like any counselor, a family therapist must always maintain a neutral stance, yet this man revels in his biases. For one, he clearly believes wives are like pets, and must be disciplined as such.

Here are some of his quotes:

“Welcome to our show, which will deal with wife beating.”

I love how nonchalantly he starts the show, as if he is talking about something as casual as teaching us how to polish our antique furniture. Yes, let’s talk about the correct way to beat our wives today; please tune in tomorrow for my advice on how to stay in denial about your own mental illness.

“I am aware that this issue is a thorny one.”

Interesting choice of words considering he is sitting alone in a forest surrounded by thorny bushes.

“I believe the problem arises when husbands do not understand how to deal with disobedience.”

Read: I believe the problem arises when husbands do not understand how to deal with a wife who is her own person.

“Some women disobey their husbands and make mistakes with them.”

The first mistake was marrying said husband.

“Then comes the second stage – forsaking her in bed.”

Oh don’t worry. I am sure she knows how to use proxies.

“Here too, some husbands make mistakes.”

Read: She’s now sleeping with the driver who doesn’t ignore her.

“Which might exacerbate the problem further.”

If you know what I mean.

“If, for example, the husband leaves his bed and goes to another house, everybody knows there is a problem.”

Yes, everyone is like, ‘Oh God, it is Abdul again. Lock your doors.’

“The point of forsaking her in bed is to discipline the wife.”

A perfect way to control her, because legally, the husband can find another outlet for his sexual desires with another wife, but she (and let’s be honest, women desire sex as much as men), has no legal option. Instead she turns to Orangzaib.

“And not to air your dirty laundry in public.”

I am sorry, I can’t get this horrible image out of my head.

“Which means you should sleep in the same bed as her, but turn your back on her.”

Sounds kinky.

“By the way, as a woman once told me, this is the most ingenious way to discipline a wife.”

Clearly she had an agenda, like keeping away from husbands with dirty laundry.

“Then comes the third stage – the issue of beating. We have to understand that the aim is to discipline, not to vent one’s anger.”

Yes, because in mankind’s history, men have never crossed the fine line between disciplining a person, and beating the s*** out of them. It is perplexing that as a therapist, this man hasn’t once actually advised the couple to discuss their grievances in a constructive and civilised manner.

“Unfortunately, some wives want to live a life of equality with their husbands.”

Or rather, unfortunately some husbands don’t want to live a life of equality with their wives.

“In addition, sometimes a woman makes a mistake that might lead her husband to beat her.”

There isn’t a single mistake that justifies domestic violence.

“I am sad to say that there are some women who say: ‘Go ahead. If you are a real man, beat me.’ She provokes him.”

If you were a real human being you would consider that no woman would say this unless she had grown up around a system of abuse where something as horrible as wife beating was considered normal.

If some women can argue that an instrument of slavery like the niqab is justified, then sadly, it is no surprise that they can also believe that wife beating is justified.

Noman Ansari

Noman Ansari

The author is the editor-in-chief of IGN Pakistan, and has been reviewing films and writing opinion pieces for The Express Tribune as well as Dawn for five years. He tweets as @Pugnate (twitter.com/Pugnate)

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.