I do not think my female friends should come back to Pakistan

Published: February 25, 2016
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More than a few friends of mine and indeed my sister faced a lot of readjustment issues when they got back into our highly patriarchal society where being a girl is harder than it is in many parts of the world.

“It is hard being back. It’s like every decision I make is not my own. I cannot even walk on the streets or go out late without my mom worrying. And do not even get me started on the questions I face about my marriage plans.”

These words from my friend, who recently returned from her graduate degree in the UK, have become a recurring theme in my conversations with all my female friends going back home to Pakistan after living abroad.

I currently happen to live in New York, with quite a few graduate students from Pakistan. And I do not want any friend of mine, who had the fortune of being born a girl, to go back to Pakistan once they complete their degree.

Why?

Because most people in my country either hate them or do not care about them. I shall explain in just a minute.

Having lived in New York for the last two years, I am often reminded by relatives that I must come back soon to avoid the vices of this evil city that they have seen on TV. Drinking, sex, vulgarity, shamelessness – what could be worse? And even before coming here, I have wanted to give people the same answer: Us. We are worse. In fact, this place is great.

If people back home get off the self-righteous pedestal they put themselves on, and stop judging everything through their own religion, they would realise that shamelessness, vulgarity and a bunch of other scary words that we throw around are quite subjective. What is not subjective is what our nation is rife with; hypocrisy, corruption, extreme intolerance, sexual abuse, extreme societal pressures, violence, and the hatred for our women. I am not saying New York is perfect. It has more than its share of problems. All I am saying is, we are no one to point fingers.

Now that I am done with my rant, I shall explain.

More than a few friends of mine and indeed my sister faced a lot of readjustment issues when they got back into our highly patriarchal society where being a girl is harder than it is in many parts of the world.

In itself, the idea of not being able to freely walk around without being ogled or groped at is greatly dismaying. And the many people who call this a third world problem should imagine creepy outsiders invading their homes and forcing them to stay in their rooms, living that way for the rest of their lives, and only venturing out in groups.

Still a third world problem or is our country not our home?

Another friend of mine who is about to go back, much to her disappointment, already has her family lining up suitors for her to marry as soon as possible, without even her consent or consultation.

Another friend of mine who has always lived in Pakistan was constantly bombarded with pressure to have a child as soon as she got married.

One friend was ecstatic because she got admitted into a PhD program in the US and would soon escape a place where her every action is constantly judged by the society. And honestly, I worry for all my friends headed home this year. Such is our culture, I am not even sure if they will be allowed to meet their male friends, although that is the last of their worries at the moment.

Then there are those, both in New York and Pakistan, who keep reminding me how Pakistan is a much better place to raise a family. And every time I ask why, I am reminded of the fahashat (vulgarity) and lack of religion in America which would be bad for our children to grow up in. That makes me laugh.

Only a nation as shameless as ours can point towards other and call them fahash (vulgar). If we talk about religion, I do not know what religion we follow in Pakistan. Maybe a very mutilated version of what we call Islam, because Islam does not teach us to become the suffocating and intolerant society that we have become. And would our children be not better off away from the hypocrisy and harmful societal pressures of Pakistan, and would our children not be happier having been taught that you are free to make your choices, study your religion and have open discussions as you please?

Would we, as future parents, not be at much more ease away from a place that has rampant child sexual abuse from strangers, relatives, teachers and those we call ‘qaris’ (reciters of the Holy Quran/ religious teachers)?

Would we not be more at ease knowing that our female relatives are protected by law against sexual harassment and rape, as opposed to laws that indirectly condone them? So, I ask again, why would I want any girl I care about to move back to Pakistan when most there so clearly hate them?

By official United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organisation (UNSECO) figures, over 3.3 million girls were out of school in 2013. Two-thirds of our 50 million illiterate adults are women. Pakistan was the 10th worst country for female employment in 2011 according to International Labor Organisation.

In short, we educate women lesser than men, pay them lesser for the same jobs, give them lesser mobility and freedom, force them to marry due to societal pressures, curtail their decision making in something as personal as having a child, and constantly remind them that homemaking is their primary purpose in life. Who was claiming that we do not hate our beloved daughters?

As my graduate degree comes to an end and I plan on coming back, I wish my female counterparts did not have to. I also wish that those who are stuck in Pakistan had the option of travelling abroad and making the choice themselves. My people do not seem to care about their ‘daughters’. And unless we realise the role each one of us plays in perpetuating the status quo, whether that is through abuse, oppression or poondi which roughly translates into objectification of women, we shall keep failing not only as a state but as people.

 

Abbas Shahid

Abbas Shahid

The author is a Marketing student at New York University and a LUMS graduate. He has worked in a host of different industries including education, corporate, research and non-profit. He travels, debates and does photography in his free time. He tweets at @abbasshahid_ (twitter.com/abbasshahid_)

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • Anwaar

    agreed with everything except *pay them lesser for the same jobs* … this has changed a lot in reputed organizations … trust me today in Pak there is no inequality when org don’t want to pay good salaries :) .. …Recommend

  • K

    hmmm… A pretty disjointed piece I must say. Most of the content non relevant to each other. I mean child sex abuse, women rapes, kidnappings, violence after marriage is also unfortunately a popular feature of European and US societies. Where double standards are concerned or when we talk about being judgmental, yes that is a feature of our society but then no other society is “Doodh ki dhuli” … Look at Trump to cry out loud, are his thoughts not a threat for an entire sect of US citizens??… Cmone there are graver issues in practical life than getting worried over not being able to walk the streets at 2 am or choosing a life partner…Recommend

  • Qasim Raza

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk › Women › Women’s Life Please read and share with friends of your’s view and note that sick people are everywhere, in every culture and every religion.Recommend

  • ovais

    dont be selfish !!Recommend

  • vinsin

    “Islam does not teach us to become the suffocating and intolerant society that we have become.” – then why not move to other Islamic countries like Saudi Arabia, Iran, Afghanistan, Yemen, Egypt, Bangladesh etc. There are so many countries which are Muslim majority so why a non-Muslim secular state. .
    Recommend

  • Kumar

    thought provoking!Recommend

  • Rafidi

    How much we hate the West for its foreign policies we Pakistani are lovers of the West .I have hardly seen people who move to West return regardless of Male or Female. Once settled in West who would want to come.Recommend

  • HZR

    Infidel lands are far better than the land of the pure!Recommend

  • Muhammad Nabbi

    Dont generalize the experience of some women and put the weight on a nation of 180 million. Don’t want to say it but surely makes me question the capability and qualification of an editor who let the article publish written by a marketing student who doesnt have any knowledge of media ethics, and was never taught about one. Which clearly depicts the standerd of the paper and its policy which isnt event on the thin line of media ethics, laws and rules.Recommend

  • Sonia I. Farooq

    Brilliant. We are trying to make our people consciousness of such issues. It’s a slow process but it’s happening. Feeling hopeful. Recommend

  • Arman Zain

    Let me start with saying, I agree to most of points you made but I disagree to your conclusion. And to make it clear I have lived in New York for much longer then you.

    Yes, life is hard in Pakistan but why?

    Because people who can fix it chose to run away, rather then coming back to Pakistan with their academic and professional experiences in west and teach youth of Pakistan, they take easy way out and settle in west.
    If you chose the easy way out then you don’t have the right to sit in cosy apartment in New York city and criticize Pakistani society, you have lost that right.

    As per Islam and bringing up your kids in west that is a long topic and before you start laughing at it, talk to people who have experience of raising their kids in west.

    RegardsRecommend

  • roughcheck

    V nicely anchored article…..high five…..hoping the message will hit the right chords with the hearts of readers & put the shameless doers in stints of embarrsmentRecommend

  • sarmadsangi

    Spot on Abbas Shahid!

    We need more of this! Criticism leads to discussion, discussion leads to acknowledgement and acknowledgement leads to solution with consensus!Recommend

  • SAIF

    probably his own people are living in the same country..but never mind.Recommend

  • samina

    well written.i totally agree with author’s views.Recommend

  • silversurfer

    What you say is true to a great extent. Pakistani society has developed a social aggression may be because of constant violence. But Pakistani society is developing, the younger generation seems to be learning. Compared to india and bangladesh, pakistan is still a bit better in terms of women issues. hope for the best.Recommend

  • S Rana

    I think its dumb advocating people just jump ship and swim away as far as possible… whereas in reality, the country is only messed up because of people like you who leave and don’t care to stay and change it yourselves. Like you’ve pointed out, Pakistan has serious issues with getting kids in school and keeping them there, meaning the educated ones you speak about in your post are the very few fortunate ones who know how the world should work and can actually change it. Lack of education breeds ignorance, and with that, asking the fortunate educated ones to leave contributes to the problem.Recommend

  • Magicueen

    The article does a good job of highlighting all the issues which women face in Pakistan all day but the suggested solution is not one I can support. Do you really think that running away from a problem is the way to solve it? Yes, we realize that being a liberal girl in this world can be the hardest but if all of you vanish abroad then whose rights are we supposed to protect exactly? Stand up for yourself because the time is right to make a move. If you cannot even persuade your own family members to change then how do you expect that typing a few sentences would change the country? I do not agree with you where you say that our country is anti-Islamic. I understand the grudge you have against those who do not give women the rights they deserve but that is no reason to bash the country whose people focus on weighing the outcomes of every little action they take. Pakistan needs its women to fight for themselves. It does not need to be compared with any other country or city especially from a biased perspective. It needs to be compared with itself.Recommend

  • liberal-lubna-fromLahore

    such a biased article that shows lahori women in negative light. Only person that doesnt need to come back to Pakistan is the author his prejudiced thinking. Maybe he has a trapped a girl there and doesnt want her to go back and for that reason he decided to unleash his rant on a place that openly welcomes anti Pak sentiments, yes, Im talking about ET. Also, hate is a very strong word. No one ” hates ” women in Pakistan.

    I for one moved back from the ghettos of UK to my home in Lahore, where I feel I can breath freely without having my every move monitored. I dont know which backward neighborhoods the author is referencing in his article, but the posh area where I live in is free from such hypocritical backward mentality. Been going out for my evening walks for past 5 years and am yet to experience groping or harassment.In London, I quite vividly recall being cat called for a regular afternoon commute.

    Force marriages dont happen in Pakistan. If your female friend doesnt like a marriage proposal, she has her constitutional right to reject it and move on to the next one. But to portray Pakistan has a 3rd world barbaric country is taking an extreme stance purely out of hate for your own negative experiences you may have experienced and so its unfair to generalize one backward community’s views and actions on whole of Pakistan.

    Why are your female friends being sent off abroad by their backward conservative religious families that dont grant them freedom in the first place? I find it astonishing theyll let their daughters live independently abroad but then wont allow them to have the right to choose to marry.

    I also want to raise my voice against pakistani men who go abroad to study but then trap an innocent Pakistani girl and then force her to marry them, bringing endless amount of stress, confusion and problems for the girl’s family and ruining the whole marriage experience for that family. Now thats a real issue author needs to be shedding light upon.Recommend

  • Siren

    Ladies and gentlemen, this is exactly why well educated women don’t want to come back home. Thank you @@disqus_oMdOYNMEBU:disqus for illustrating the author’s perspective so vividly.Recommend

  • PostGrad Student Abroad

    I admit our society is very narrow minded, but if it’s not us people who’re going to do something about it, who is? Take a stand!
    Own your Country, be the change you want to see in your society.Recommend

  • Zeeshan

    Hey, stay put in New York. Please don’t come back. You can stay put in New York and get pay “equal” to men. You can stay put in New York as long you clutch your handbags when you see men on the streets late at night. And, travel anytime you want in your New York subway because men there don’t harass women. All those cases of sexual harassment reported are just propaganda toward respected New York men. Stay put in New York and wear your jeans. And, stay put in New York and don’t have kids. And, please make sure to pump out stories how you liberate yourselves from Pakistani patriarchal societies when you apply to Barnard College. And, if you need to find someone to talk and love you, they have therapists for you.Recommend

  • Sheraz Khalid

    Identity Crisis.Recommend

  • Abdullah Ghayur

    I think the problems you are highlighting related more to rural areas of pak. I live in Khi and did my Masters from KU and n KU the percentage og grils to boy admission is 55 to 45% and it is increasing day by dayRecommend

  • Rohan

    Lol Pakistan is the worst country in the world, why would anybody go back to itRecommend

  • Ravian

    I hate to say this, but each and every word in this article is true. Our cultural practices are not based on Islam, but on hypocrisy. Our society is a bad place for women. I am a father to a daughter and I pity her that she is borne in this society.Recommend

  • Madhav Das

    I do not think it is the base nature of Pakistani men that makes them oppress their women. Recommend

  • Zauq

    I would say that own country is always best for living these are issues which raised need to tackle and for this purpose some one have to come out like ALMAGIR FIX-IT
    But good analysis and earth is same but we the People are wrong laws are there but we people dont follow and neither government implement ,
    But free country is GIFT we should not forget ,
    SAB SAY PAHLAY PAKISTANRecommend

  • Nasser

    In India such blogger would have been declared as a TRAITOR. And there is nothing g wrong in it. Sitting abroad and defame g o especially own country is an act of treason .Mr Abbas I is no different than Haqqani the ex ambassador Recommend

  • Hassan

    The best thing and the worst thing about Indians is they don’t bring up such issues prevailing in their society on social forums, secondly the article is a good example of negativism, if i want to write against the rainbows i ll write 4 to 5 pages trust me on that, therefore its no surprise for me to see everything black in the article, the writer is so impressed with the west and apparently he should be at this age that he doesn’t have any idea what we preach and practice is not only acceptable but women in general appreciate it as well. Further, if you think you are the only person who had the opportunity to live, study and work abroad in a western country than you are obviously wrong, whilst reading the article i was thinking that the time you were writing this u must be thinking that you are addressing to a group people who lived in an area which is economically very deprived, backward and poverty-stricken but my friend i too have graduated from Oklahoma University and i am living in Pakistan these days, one of my relative just like you, who always advocated the idea of living abroad and i swear he lost both of his daughters one of them joined some weird group, and the second daughter married to a christian, now since i know you a little now i guess you would definitely argue to support out of religion marriages, so just to make you realize that this out of religion marriages are not acceptable in any religion and is not specific to Islam and by any parents apart from exceptions, whatever point you raised, make it very clear that u wrote it with a magnifier to make your article worth a reading, Honestly ,i felt like as if you were talking about some other place, its definitely not Pakistan. you have your opinion and that is fine, but your tone was not suggestive instead u started off with an intention to insult Pakistan regardless of the fact that it is right or wrong, giving examples like ”my friend”, ”one of my friends” and ”another friend of mine” you need to learn how to present your views in the first place and most importantly how to support/defend that with facts and figures. and i love to see Indians getting super excited to find something against Pakistan from a Pakistani will talk to them later as if they are not from India but states. my dear friend you have so much of negativity in yourself, search the vidoes of a women walking in the street of NY and there was not a single guy who did not harassed her, but obvious, you won’t like to highlight that, if i ever get a chance and if time allow me i will counter your article with proofs and will show you that living abroad is not a ”bed of roses” as you described it to be, being an inexperienced guy who brought up in a society where you could not freely attend the clubbing, discos, partying, doing other stuff that attracts you while you were here in Pakistan went abroad saw things which you only had in your dreams, you get yourself so involved in it that you forgot you are not part of them you are an outsider you have to go back, now you hate your country because you are not getting all those ”facilities” here, and giving new interpretations of Islam to justify your point. all you need to do is to wait and see, i wish you spend all your life there and watch your children grow and know how it feels to be ineffective when it comes to decision of your own child and how helpless you would be. you are too young to tell the world what is right and what is not, only time will tell you else nobody would ever return to their homeland after completing their degrees or with their growing children.Recommend

  • Hassan

    either you are in Indian or a lair. no father can ever feel pity for her daughter who is born in a country of her father. you need to study psychology so that nobody can caught your comments and guess your nationality. better luck next time.Recommend

  • Milind A

    India is well ahead than your regressive country as far as women’s rights are concerned.. Hindus don’t have regressive customs like purdah and almost all women ride bikes, drive cars.. There’s a women regiment in the Indian army and women in IAF as well… Traitors amongst us are those who selectively berate the majority Hindus (because they’re soft) and go slow on the excesses of your co-religionists (a global problem).Recommend

  • Abbas

    I can start posting indexes, statistics and reports that highlight our rape figures, sexual harrassment figures, workplace index for women, education stats for women, employment stats for women, mobility issues, and marriage pressures etc in Pakistan as a nation, not ‘a few women.’ It is precisely the fact that people do not own up to these problems that these do not get solved. Understand that this is a problem that must be addressed by each one of us, and maybe then we head somewhere.Recommend

  • faraz qureshi

    I must say, the author is impressed with US culture, since the US is the top rated country in crime and sex. If someone doesn’t wants to come back to their homeland, its pointing out that they would not able to adjust with their family structures which we Pakistani have, in which their is a mother, a father, brother, sister and grand parents…etc. though, Pakistan have social problems, but it doesn’t means to run away from this culture, where still brothers protecting there sisters, a father and mother always keep on eye at their daughters to protect them from social assault , where daughters still have respect towards their parents and sisters still obey their brothers. Mr. Abbas, We have very precise family structure, which is never introduced in western world. Where you impressed with New York social environment, you do not ignore the matter of fact that its hard to find any version girl who passes 16 years of her life. Instead of criticize, you should discuss the matters which can relate to our serious problems.Recommend

  • Dawd

    The author is really in parts contrasting living in a close nit society in Pakistan, to that of anonymity in NY. Pressures to get married, have children and parents who worry about their children are universal. Had the author’s family lived in NY he would see it in a different issue.
    Secondly a lot of the vices written here about Pakistan are true for USA, whether it is rape by members of the clergy or sexual violence (the stats in the US are shocking).
    So i don’t see this as an article about wanting to live in another country as much as away from a close- nit family structure.Recommend

  • Ayesha

    Very reasonable comment completely agree with you.Recommend

  • UzairH

    Very well written Abbass. I can write a whole essay to add my own points. Suffice to say that the majority of the comments here reinforce the fact that people in Pakistan are steeped in both misogyny and xenophobia.

    Sharing my own personal experience: when I was living by myself as a student in Pakistan and then in Europe, I was utterly unaware of how malignant and rampant the sexual harassment/ogling/”poondi” are in Pakistan. Only when I got married did I discover – to my horror – how much men in Pakistan stare at women.

    When we have to go out of the home as a family I am far more comfortable here in Europe than when we visit back home to Islamabad and Rawalpindi. Absolutely no one – young or old, man or woman, stares at my wife. In Pakistan I often have to restrain myself from punching half the men I come across. I refuse to imprison my wife in a burqa because our men are troglodytes, but I honestly can not live in Pakistan given the environment of women’s objectification that is rife in our culture.Recommend

  • Hassan

    The best thing and the worst thing about Indians is they don’t bring up such issues prevailing in their society on social forums, secondly the article is a good example of negativism, if i want to write against the rainbows i ll write 4 to 5 pages trust me on that, therefore its no surprise for me to see everything black in the article, the writer is so impressed with the west and apparently he should be at this age that he doesn’t have any idea what we preach and practice is not only acceptable but women in general appreciate it as well. Further, if you think you are the only person who had the opportunity to live, study and work abroad in a western country than you are obviously wrong, whilst reading the article i was thinking that the time you were writing this u must be thinking that you are addressing to a group people who lived in an area which is economically very deprived, backward and poverty-stricken but my friend i too have graduated from Oklahoma University and i am living in Pakistan these days, one of my relative just like you, who always advocated the idea of living abroad and i swear he lost both of his daughters one of them joined some weird group, and the second daughter married to a Christian, now since i know you a little now i guess you would definitely argue to support out of religion marriages, so just to make you realize that this out of religion marriages are not acceptable in any religion and is not specific to Islam and by any parents apart from exceptions, whatever point you raised, make it very clear that u wrote it with a magnifier to make your article worth a reading, Honestly ,i felt like as if you were talking about some other place, its definitely not Pakistan. you have your opinion and that is fine, but your tone was not suggestive instead u started off with an intention to insult Pakistan regardless of the fact that it is right or wrong, giving examples like ”my friend”, ”one of my friends” and ”another friend of mine” you need to learn how to present your views in the first place and most importantly how to support/defend that with facts and figures. and i love to see Indians getting super excited to find something against Pakistan from a Pakistani will talk to them later as if they are not from India but states. my dear friend search the vidoes of a women walking in the street of NY and there was not a single guy who did not harassed her, but obvious, you won’t like to highlight that, if i ever get a chance and if time allow me i will counter your article with proofs and will show you that living abroad is not a ”bed of roses” , all you need to do is to wait and see, i wish you spend all your life there and watch your children grow and know how it feels to be ineffective when it comes to decision of your own child and how helpless you would be. you are too young to tell the world what is right and what is not, only time will tell you else nobody would ever return to their homeland after completing their degrees or with their growing children.Recommend

  • Hassan

    do u consider India is a land of pure??? u must be mistaken my friend.Recommend

  • Hassan

    so sweet of u Milind, please clarify the kunan pushpa incident, and please shed some light on the story of A teenage girl in India after she was forced to drink alcohol and then raped by two army officers. … spotted on CCTV footage. Police in India arrest 5 suspects, including 2 teenagers, in toddler rape cases, and further go though the following link as well https://www.timesofassam.com/tag/indian-army-rape/ and this also http://indianexpress.com/article/india/india-news-india/girl-alleges-gang-rape-by-army-men-onboard-howrah-amritsar-express/ now Mr. Perfect would u like to repeat urself again, i couldn’t understand u completely u were talking about girls riding bike and hindus are not regressive etc etc …hahaha don’t mess with me..right son.Recommend

  • Muhammad Nabbi

    The main focus of my comment was the fact that I was offended by the fact that my mother and sister roam freely around while als being respected in the society, They go for, shopping, outing, picnic e.t.c and havnt faced any type of act in the same Pakistani Society which you have blamed for being a society worth nothing more then rape e.t.c

    There is a way to raise awareness in a society and this is certainly not the way, there is a great deal of difference between loathing and redicule. You may write an article and I am no one.to judge you about your capability but I sure can advise this that you should try going through the media ethics so you should be able to know what impacts will it have towards the society.Recommend

  • Muhammad Nabbi

    And the point about statistics, there are a million statistics in Pakistan of how women in Pakistan are treated with respect and honor, and that is the reason that me and you were raised on this soil by our mothers. And we were provided with the best education and facilities. And if a tour to the west has blinded you of that reality then I should advise that you should really try to check up your media skills and capabilityRecommend

  • siesmann

    Islam goes down proportional to as Mullahism goes up.People were no less Muslims before 70s in Pakistan and before Ayaatullah in Iran.But then Mullahs took over or were allowed to take over,and the resultant regression.Religion is best as a private and personal matter.Recommend

  • siesmann

    Repression aside,a substantial proportion of women who obtain professional degrees in Pakistan become housewives .What a waste of talent and resources.!!Recommend

  • M Mahmood

    The writer is Daisi Liberal who does not know any thing about Islam and Pakistan.
    Pakistan does not need such dirty mind, indecent and obscene people(male/femail), therefore, Allah keeps Pakistan purify of such filthy and squalid western slaves.Recommend

  • LS

    “I don’t know which backward neighborhoods the author is referencing in his article, but the posh area where I live in is free from such hypocritical backward mentality. Been going out for my evening walks for past 5 years and am yet to experience groping or harassment”

    That exactly describes the bubble you live in. Does not hold true for all of Pakistan.Recommend

  • hassan

    I see this author is confused. by having the most lawful and civilised society the west world is according to him, still rape, chid abuse is at its highest there. He himself doesn’t want to come back and this is one of the biggest dilemma these kind of people have, who have no confident and guts to change the society but only to point finger while sitting in his comfort abroad.Recommend

  • E x p a t r i a t e

    Objectification of woman is very immoral indeed, but this article is much exaggerated, and author has no idea about the actual picture (or he is intentionally trying to put a verdict here). If US is that much enlightened, then one should not see the crime against woman at this much extent. But the facts speak for themselves

    And then, a famous statement by President Obama (video in the link), according to him, 1 in every 5 women in US are either a victim of rape, or attempted rape

    http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2015/feb/16/barack-obama/barack-obama-says-nearly-1-5-women-us-has-been-rap/

    Pakistan is no where to be seen in rape cases, among top 10. You can search the whole web about rape stats in Pakistan

    http://www.wonderslist.com/10-countries-highest-rape-crime/

    https://rainn.org/statistics

    Below are the reports from Bureau of Justice, United States

    http://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/cv14.pdf

    You can see the rape stats in it. And these are just the reported cases.

    So, I would request the author to get his facts straight, and stop writing exaggerated stuff. I am not saying that Pakistan is a very safe haven and there is no such thing as sexual abuse/crime against women, but still, the situation is not as worst as that of so called enlightened western societies.Recommend

  • wb

    Actually, India is the land of the pure. Because India is Islamist and all evil done by Muslims in the name of Islam is tolerated in India.

    So, India is the land of the pure.Recommend

  • Asy ma wail !

    Milind, Get a life, world is not blind neither India is on the top of this world. Dont make fun of yourself by portraying India as if you are just another European country with almost everything in order. Stop telling us stories of a city or two in India as if you are super peaceful with female and all. We all know whats wrong with both of the countries and its people. Dont show off. As long as Muslims (seems to be cause of your ultimate heart attack) are concerned then the bad news is that they are gonna stay there and you can still day dream of a “muslim free” world :)Recommend

  • rationalist

    Good point. More importantly, Islam permits child brides, allows four wives, states a woman’s witness is worth half that of a man’s, allows husband to beat wife for disobedience, demands four male muslim witnesses to prove rape, sanctions death by stones thrown at women accused of “adultery”, prohibits women from going out without mahram male escort….. the list is long.Recommend

  • ovais

    i was being funny cause he does not make sense. people return to pakistan for their family .. trust me women arent safe in america as well .. there are awefull people everywhere . but its sad what he is propagating . there are many working women in pakistan . the largest number are from the poorest sector . but they come out every day and work for a living as a maid etc . I know we have aweful human beings in pakistan but you just cannot generalize sitting in newyork .Recommend

  • Shehryar Khan
  • Shehryar Khan

    True. He is simply trying to make Browne points running down Pakistan, Islam and Muslims. That is the fashion nowadays.Recommend

  • Shehryar Khan

    The author is trying for his share of the ‘Oscars’.Recommend

  • Shehryar Khan

    “India is well ahead than your regressive country as far as women’s
    rights are concerned.. Hindus don’t have regressive customs like purdah and almost all women ride bikes, drive cars.”

    Yes, true. But since you have decided to go off topic to compare India with Pakistan in this respect…how about also acknowledging that India is the rape capital of the World. That rape and gang rape is common in India. Now let the reader know the rest of the story. And don’t forget to tell of those Temple…Recommend

  • Rajiv

    Pakistanis don’t have appetite for truthRecommend

  • SkepticalFaraz

    I am not going to say that Pakistani society doesn’t have its fair share of problems and hypocrisy. But one has to have his head up if he thinks people dont get sexually harassed, date-raped, molested as children, tagged non-marriage material in the good old USA. The percentage of girls getting molested in the US is far higher than Pakistan. Half the white girls i know have claimed to be molested as children. Almost ever one i know claims to have been date-raped at some point in their lives (even though i don’t believe that).Recommend

  • liberal-lubna-fromLahore

    and this the author is using to defame my beloved country is NOT true of my PAKISTAN.Recommend

  • LS

    We get it you hate India – Typical Pakistani Narrative, nothing new there. Oklahoma University? Seriously? It is actually called University of Oklahoma in the center or Red Neck America. Goes to show the guy who does not know what is the correct name of his Alma-Matter… what kind of comprehension skills and analytical are at display..

    There is little difference between a republican red-neck and a conspiracy theory loving Pakistani. I am sure the time it took you to write the above paragraph and your willingness to copy paste it everywhere in the comment section whether it applies or not… absolute gem…Recommend

  • Ravian

    Don’t be personal. I think that my daughter would have a much better chances in life if she were borne a boy. As a girl, she cannot go out alone, as there are always cases of harassment etc. This is an unequal world for women in general.Recommend

  • Hassan

    As if India is in the list of first world,hahaha see…slums and chowls are there in ur country, proper sanitary facilities are absent,India don’t have toilet infrastructure and drinking water facilities within their homes, according to latest statistics released by the government….poverty hunger and corruption coupled up with rapes and religious intolerance makes India the worst after African countries.Recommend

  • Rohan

    Pakistan has a toilet problem worse than India, worst for minorities, has 212 banned terrorist organizations.It is worse than the worst African countriesRecommend

  • Hassan

    just by saying it doesn’t support ur argument, India has been highlighted for toilet and other issues i have mentioned. so relax, when somebody point out at your shortcomings u should be thankful and start working to resolve such issues, we have no issues in fact i hardly see anyone peeing on the roadside. and india is famous in this, why r u denying??? by the way u have 160+ separatists movements across India, and where did u get the number of 212??? i have checked the whole internet, websites everywhere but the maximum it says is 25 out of which 10 are non operative…and the operation zarb e azb is already in process so basically we are working on it tell me what Indian government is doing except blaming things to others, and the fact is all these terrorists organizations in Pakistan are mainly funded and supported by RAW, see again India, so read things and try to accept reality, else its useless to discuss when u r not ready to realize ur internal issues, baseless legations is something Indians are very good at. Recommend

  • Rohan

    UN itself has reported that 60% of Pakistanis dont have water after defacating. Plus the 212 figure is as per your own Governments records so dont be blind. Plus we dont have 160 separatists movements so stop pulling out figures from your backside. Plus seeing your hate mentality you deserve the TTP.
    Plus improve your english before commentingRecommend

  • AJ

    Dear Rohan,

    Worst or not, we are quite happy to have a country of our own. So you don’t worry about us.
    Recommend

  • AJ

    Now this is the spirit we need to have.
    Recommend

  • Rohan

    And look what it’s turned outRecommend