You know you are a nerd when…

Published: November 21, 2010
Email

Nerds are those most likely to die rich and be successful.

Forever depressed, suppressed, and oppressed, the nerd inside me finally woke up one fine day and decided enough was enough! It was about time I raised a voice for my kind. Who are we?

Walking through a mall, you find us staring at the latest gadgets rather than the really cute girl passing nearby.

We have watched all the latest Hollywood movies and take out time to write a review for each and every one of them at imdb.com.

If you lend us as much as a type-writer, you will see our blog the very next day on the website of The Express Tribune.

We consider Facebook the greatest invention of all time. As a matter of fact, if God forbid you ever paid a visit to our Facebook profile, you’d discover that we cherish our biography just like George W Bush cherished his talent for articulate speech, making sure everything is set to perfection (for the female audience obviously!).

Why do nerds rock?

The simple fact that we are most likely to die rich should be more than enough to savour your taste buds. (Don’t believe me? Ask Bill Gates!).

An episode from the animated series Freakazoid quiet aptly describes the phenomenon though:

“What they lack in physical strength they make up in brain power. Who writes all the best selling books? Nerds. Who directs the top grossing Hollywood movies? Nerds. Who creates highly advanced technology that only they can understand? Nerds. Who are the people to run for the high office of the Presidency? Nerds.”

Who else is there?

At med school, I came across hundreds of individuals. While,  dissecting everyone’s personalities I was able to characterise them in to five major categories that overlap with nerds.

The Sopranos

They should roam around college with the words ‘Rishtay mein tu hum tumharay baap lagtay hain’ ingrained in gold on their T-shirts. As soon as they enter their dorms though, you will find them buried under a huge stack of books.

The cool ones

This lot is literally God’s gift to humanity. They never ever grace the library with their presence or the class room for that matter. Having an exclusive ‘cool’ assemblage, with no outsiders ever allowed ! But did I mention the fact at 2am these eerie creature crack their books open?

Paindoos

This is a sub-type of the cool kids. The only difference is that their antics mostly ricochet and hit them back in their face, yet they still refuse to let go. If you’re friends with them though, they’d probably let you in on all the short cuts and tips and tricks of getting good grades in your exams. By the way, they consider ‘Munni Badnaam Hui’ as one of the greatest advancements in the evolutionary history of music!

The outcasts

Theses are the jacks of all trades but the masters of none. Outcasts feel different from the rest of the crowd and have a hard time fitting into the social strata (Remember Peter Parker from Spiderman?). As a result you mostly see them roaming around alone in the campus, steering clear of physical contact with fellow homo sapiens.

The freaks

They’ll never miss a single lecture, attend every practical and keep  neat and clean notes.  The library is their personal Garden of Eden. On the positive side though, they grew up watching Hannah Montana and the Disney channel, making them naturals at slap-stick humour and comedy. You’ll never get bored while one of these comrades is part of the crowd.

ahad.khan

Ahad Khan

A medical student at Aga Khan University in Karachi

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

More by this writer