You know you are a nerd when…

Published: November 21, 2010

Nerds are those most likely to die rich and be successful.

Forever depressed, suppressed, and oppressed, the nerd inside me finally woke up one fine day and decided enough was enough! It was about time I raised a voice for my kind. Who are we?

Walking through a mall, you find us staring at the latest gadgets rather than the really cute girl passing nearby.

We have watched all the latest Hollywood movies and take out time to write a review for each and every one of them at

If you lend us as much as a type-writer, you will see our blog the very next day on the website of The Express Tribune.

We consider Facebook the greatest invention of all time. As a matter of fact, if God forbid you ever paid a visit to our Facebook profile, you’d discover that we cherish our biography just like George W Bush cherished his talent for articulate speech, making sure everything is set to perfection (for the female audience obviously!).

Why do nerds rock?

The simple fact that we are most likely to die rich should be more than enough to savour your taste buds. (Don’t believe me? Ask Bill Gates!).

An episode from the animated series Freakazoid quiet aptly describes the phenomenon though:

“What they lack in physical strength they make up in brain power. Who writes all the best selling books? Nerds. Who directs the top grossing Hollywood movies? Nerds. Who creates highly advanced technology that only they can understand? Nerds. Who are the people to run for the high office of the Presidency? Nerds.”

Who else is there?

At med school, I came across hundreds of individuals. While,  dissecting everyone’s personalities I was able to characterise them in to five major categories that overlap with nerds.

The Sopranos

They should roam around college with the words ‘Rishtay mein tu hum tumharay baap lagtay hain’ ingrained in gold on their T-shirts. As soon as they enter their dorms though, you will find them buried under a huge stack of books.

The cool ones

This lot is literally God’s gift to humanity. They never ever grace the library with their presence or the class room for that matter. Having an exclusive ‘cool’ assemblage, with no outsiders ever allowed ! But did I mention the fact at 2am these eerie creature crack their books open?


This is a sub-type of the cool kids. The only difference is that their antics mostly ricochet and hit them back in their face, yet they still refuse to let go. If you’re friends with them though, they’d probably let you in on all the short cuts and tips and tricks of getting good grades in your exams. By the way, they consider ‘Munni Badnaam Hui’ as one of the greatest advancements in the evolutionary history of music!

The outcasts

Theses are the jacks of all trades but the masters of none. Outcasts feel different from the rest of the crowd and have a hard time fitting into the social strata (Remember Peter Parker from Spiderman?). As a result you mostly see them roaming around alone in the campus, steering clear of physical contact with fellow homo sapiens.

The freaks

They’ll never miss a single lecture, attend every practical and keep  neat and clean notes.  The library is their personal Garden of Eden. On the positive side though, they grew up watching Hannah Montana and the Disney channel, making them naturals at slap-stick humour and comedy. You’ll never get bored while one of these comrades is part of the crowd.


Ahad Khan

A medical student at Aga Khan University in Karachi

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

More by this writer

  • Abdul Ahad

    OMG, ET! You guys literally shred my blog in to pieces :(

    Hold on…. Where’s my lawyer??? >:[email protected]Recommend

  • Noor-ul-ain

    good categorization I am not nerd :p hmm I’ll be after following all d tips u mentioned!. After reading your write up The first nerd person comes in my mind Dexter the geniusRecommend

  • Deen sheikh

    Isnt it a bit rude to assign such labels to people, especially the label outcasts, thats not very nice, such people feel the sense of diacomfort in being social cause others are acting anti social under the disguise of being socially selective and snobbish. If people were a little open minded socially and a little less judgmental there would be less people out there who feel luke outcastes.Recommend

  • Maheen Rahman

    haha! Fun.

    I belong to the category of “Freaks” then minus Hannah Montana and the Disney channel! Recommend

  • Jehan Naseem

    hahaha i’m so totally a nerd! and no i don’t think u were being rude, i’m actually glad that i don’t fit in, its the ones that add the pressure to constantly follow the social paradigm i’d worry about. Well-written and good humour:)Recommend

  • Sahar

    now we know which one you identify as deen.

    the article itself isnt even worthy of a comment. if only i had five rupees for every time a nerd cites bill gates as a reason for people to be nice to him. its like being told the same punch line over and over again….find something new already. ive read all of the above before. Recommend

  • Ghausia

    hahaha love this, it reminded me of something a computer genius in the show Leverage often says, “Age of the geek baby, age of the geek.” :DRecommend

  • Sarah

    well, it could have been better articulated.

    but I did enjoy reading it because it’s relate-able

    given the description I can proudly conclude I am a social nerd.

    that is one category you forgot to add.

    Social Nerds

    we love technology
    our computer is our best friend
    facebook IS man’s greatest invention
    books are awesome
    there is NOTHING we cannot learn with the right tutorials
    but at the same time, we’re not socially retarded and can be the life of a gathering (be it a small number of friends who have over time learned to appreciate your random sense of humor and quirky style)Recommend

  • Abdul Ahad

    @ ET: Relax! My prior comment was meant to be a joke, you guys! :p
    @ Deen: It was meant in pure humor. No disrespect was intended whatsoever! I’m sure you’d feel much at ease if you read the original text though, so I’m posting it here:

    The out-castes
    This is my favorite faction amongst them all, primarily due to the fact that I spearhead this clan of fearless warriors (sup homies?)! They’re the jacks of all trades yet the masters of none. Being different than all the rest, they have a hard time fitting into the social strata (Remember Peter Parker from Spiderman?). As a result you mostly see them roaming around alone in the campus, steering clear of physical contact with any other fellow homo sapiens.

    @ Sehar: Duly noted. I’ll try coming up with something fresh next time around. Cheers!Recommend

  • parvez

    I read it once and drew a blank. Read it again and drew a blank. Well I certainly am not a nerd.Recommend

  • Deen sheikh

    Well only when one is on the recieving end of social bullying does one fully realise the gravity of the debate…..Recommend

  • Jehan Naseem

    @Deen sheikh:
    “Well only when one is on the recieving end of social bullying does one fully realise the gravity of the debate…..” <—– you’re absolutely right, and considering that i have been bullied from almost every aspect socially, i can totally relate to the article; which honestly just seems good humor. It really depends on how you perceive things, If someone calls me or labels me by a name, its not going to change who or what I am or even how I see myself :) However, i do see where you are coming from, which is in good faith. I guess you and I’ll just have to agree to disagree ;)Recommend

  • Deen Sheikh

    Im sure the blogger wrote it in good faith and good humour but on a serious note Its not just about mere label, targetted social discrimination and lack of basic common courtesy we show to others is far more damaging. The root of the matter is we all have become rather judgmental and instead of embracing the diffetences that make the other person unique, we find it an excuse to discriminate and marginalise an individual, because he or she doesnt fit into our Criteria for acceptability.Recommend

  • Sahar

    @deen- that kind of hypersensetivity and lack of humour is probably why you were such a prime target. Recommend

  • samaha

    LOL !! a good read..Recommend

  • FAriz Merchant

    :) now we know where we standRecommend

  • Sakina Kavi

    hahahah.. wow! i love it! i love it! i hope im the out-caste nerd.. lol.. being a nerd is soo cool! i just wana fit into the stereotype even if i aint one! :D lol..Recommend

  • Shumaila

    It was a light, cute read. :) Maybe a little brainless, but funny. Good effort. :)Recommend

  • Deen Sheikh

    @ ahad, no worries mate, didny take it personally wanted to get a point across
    Thanks for sharing that abdul, appreciate that mate
    @ Saher, you just assigned me the label hypersensitive, its a label, its not nice to assign labels to people especially if we know nothinh about them, how would you feel if people fotmed opinions bout u without knowing anything bout u and then a shaping their behaviours
    My point was judgmentalism leads us to assign labels on others, when we assign labels we shape our behaviour towards people which might be discriminatory
    Social discrimination is a form of bullying also, we all know how wrong bullying isRecommend

  • Hashim Abbasi

    oh damn! after reading this I realize I have all the traits of a nerd but never thought myself as one… and my grades never reflected that too… :)Recommend

  • naureen naqvi

    hahaha iam a freak….n ya i grew up watching disney channel…
    PS… why is every 1 so concerned abt da labels…..tats reality……almost every 1 gets labeled even the so called popular kids….Recommend

  • feathered brain

    haha nice article! but you know what i find my self no where!! :S so i guess more categories need to be elaborated…..Recommend

  • Cookie

    I don’t quite agree with this piece here. Nerds are not always on the top. And Bill Gates wasn’t a nerd – in fact, he was a college dropout. He got success because he used his brain and worked hard. And nerds do not, strictly speaking, study all the time…you might get labeled a “nerd” because you study in college and like hanging around the library more often. But that just makes you interested in “knowledge”- not a nerd. Honestly, I think the word “nerd” needs to be eliminated. Just plain old “scholar” and “intellectual” is a better substitute for it.Recommend

  • Yousuf

    If you’re a ‘Nerd’, you’ll definitely freak out from this…

    (If you did, then “” is your next ‘permanent’ homepage)Recommend

  • n.k

    Good stuff and some good humor too,thanks! Recommend