10 types of people you’re bound to come across on Bakra Eid

Published: September 27, 2015
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For a good majority, this Eid is all about food, meat and barbeque parties.

What does Eidul Azha stand for? What does it signify? While the politically correct answer to it would be “the spirit of sacrifice”, we all know that’s not true. For a good majority, this Eid is all about food, meat and barbeque parties – and I am part of that majority, staying true to the foodie that I am.

However, foodies aren’t the only sort of people you come across this Eid. The range of characters one bumps into is staggering, and here are the 10 types of people we usually come across on Bari Eid.

1. The annoying kids

Their only aim in life is to instigate the camel/cow/sheep/goat to escape their leash and runaway, while they run after the animal chanting,

Gaye bhaag gayii!!

(The cow has run away)

lol animated GIF

2. The neighbourhood uncle

He likes to keep a track of who got which animal for what price, and secretly judges them for buying an overpriced animal.

3. The uncle who judges such people out-loud

He makes sure everyone knows how inept they were in choosing the animal – because hey, it’s all about the money, not the spirit of sacrifice, right?

4. The random gawking strangers

They simply like to park their cars/motorbikes in front of your house and stare at your animals. The best part is, they go away as soon as they realise that you have spotted them “in the act”.

5. The boasting 20-somethings

These teenagers/young adults/20-somethings who love to boast about how big or strong or fat their animal is, and how they love them dearly – and two days later, would eat them without an inch of guilt.

6. The mohalay ki aunties (neighbourhood aunties) 

They make it a point to come down to check which goat/cow is theirs and then end up reprimanding their husbands for their bad choices.

7. The multiple kinds of butchers on Eid day.

Somehow, the number of butchers in the city increase tenfold during Eid, as we find electricians, carpenters, mechanics, sweepers, domestic helps, street vendors, and every other person suddenly turning into butchers. Needless to say, there is a lot of cussing and cursing while they work, since they don’t know jack about cutting meat.

8. The angry uncles versus the butchers

These uncles are out for the butchers’ blood for ruining their oh-so-expensive animals and cutting the meat all wrong.

9. The annoying eidi children

They ask for eidi even on this Eid, and then give you threatening looks once you hand them a packet of meat.

10. The ‘white meat or no meat people’

These people still insist on having chicken meat on Eid day.

Did they not get the memo?

No other meat for a month now!

While food is definitely a component, this Eid is also about sharing – not just meat, but love, happiness, smiles, and moments. So go ahead and have a blast with your loved ones this Eid, and all the above-mentioned characters.

Eid mubarak everyone!

Faiq Lodhi

Faiq Lodhi

A journalism grad and news-buff, his interests include current affairs, arts, literature and social work. He tweets as @FaiqLodhi (twitter.com/FaiqLodhi)

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • Abd^ullah

    The basic spirit is missing in the whole festival..Recommend

  • Shaukat Ali

    I can’t believe this article got published. It is neither funny nor remotely accurate, but mostly made up!!Recommend

  • Ajay

    For heavens sake how can people watch animals being pinned to the ground , throat being slit, blood oozing out and flowing, poor animal whimpering in pain and shaking its limbs in feeble attempt to escape the torture? Even women and children watch the helpless animal being slaughtered in a most insensitive show of complete apathy. This can’t be Gods wish or command. If at all you decide to eat meat let the animals be killed in a scientific, painless, hygienic way in modern abattoir with the meat professionally cut and packed and sold. You say about untrained men cropping up as butchers but you totally ignore the pain and torture they cause to the animal. Most inhuman practice to slaughter animals in households. Must be stopped. This can’t be how civilised people celebrate.Recommend

  • Voice of Reason

    Care to share your scientific methods? Perhaps if you were not so stupid, you would not be ignorant to know that the zabihat way is the most efficient (quick) way to sacrifice an animal. The “scientific” ways involve stunning the animal, that may either kill the animal slowly and through sheer pain or make it disoriented until the time its head is sheared off.

    This is Gods wish and command. If you are too lazy to get up and gain knowledge, stop polluting other minds.Recommend

  • Fahimuddin

    We should care for animals as Muslims, mostly muslims only looking for meat.Recommend

  • Ajay

    My humble submission was why perform the inhuman act in household with full view of chlldren, women and all? Isnt it insensitive? The animals can be slaughtered in an abattoir. If God want you to sacrifice your dearest possession it cant be an animal you purchase on the same day. One can donate to charity and care for the poor and needy. Cutting animals and distributing meat is what demons do not humans. What was a caveman’s religious ritual cant be valid today when man has become more civilised and has other means of getting food. Let us become more civil and compassionate in our behaviour and bring some empathy and sensitivity in our lives. I think there is no other civilisation in earth which justifies mass killing of animals in households on a particular day. It also raises logistic problems of transportation, disposal of caracass, manpower required, storage of excess meat as most poor households dont have proper refrigeration and storage facilities.Recommend

  • Milind A

    First of all, is this ritual really needed? If yes, can it not be done away in private.. How can killing anything be a celebration? The Saudis have this coupon system… Animals are slaughtered away from the public…Recommend

  • Syed

    There is a different between killing and sacrificing. Get you facts wright bro! scientific methods will fall under killing, got and see how they kill animals and sell there meat in market.Recommend