My husband is gay – A difficult truth

Published: June 29, 2014
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The existence of gays is a reality in our society, whether in closets or out of them, they exist and are a part of our society. PHOTO: BBC

The existence of gays is a reality in our society, whether in closets or out of them, they exist and are a part of our society.
PHOTO: BBC My husband is gay – the painful discovery that often times comes in many women’s life, shattering their dreams of love, family and the bliss of a martial relationship. 
PHOTO: BBC

Case 1:

On her wedding night, *Hira found out that her new husband had a male partner. Her world came to a standstill. He told her not to expect much from him because he had no inclination towards her as a wife. Hira came back to her parent’s house the same night and when she confronted her in-laws, they sheepishly replied that they thought he would be ‘fine’ once he got married to a girl.

Case 2:

*Shumaila’s husband lived in the UK and, despite having been married to her for eight months, didn’t sponsor her visa so she could join him in London to start a home and a family. Shumaila’s father somehow managed to get her the UK visa and put her on a plane to London. Upon her arrival in the UK, Shumaila was devastated by her husband’s rude and cruel behaviour; he seemed to despise her for reasons she didn’t even know. Ultimately, she discovered that he was gay and was living with his male partner who had to move out because of Shumaila’s arrival. Her in-laws never believed Shumaila’s narrative and blamed her for not making an effort to win her husband’s love. Their marriage ended in a sad divorce.

Case 3:

*Ifrah and *Sohail had been married for six years and had an adorable four-year-old son. Many a times, however, Ifrah saw her husband exchanging intimate texts and emoticons on his cell phone with his friends. He always told her not to worry about it because they were just his friends and men just communicate like this. After a few years though, her husband’s behaviour, interests and relationship with other men changed. Soon after she realised what was happening, he adopted a ‘take it or leave it’ attitude with her. Her happy little world, the family she built over years, all fell apart. She thought of giving her husband a divorce, but her parents refused to support her decision, fearing disgrace and finding it hard to get good proposals for her unmarried sisters in the presence of a divorced daughter at home. Their advice to Ifrah was to somehow ‘manage and get along’ with the same life.

My husband is gay’ – are not easy words to come to terms with. The painful discovery can, often times, shatter the dreams of a woman who married someone in search for love, family, security, stability and a partner. Such cases being taboo are not discussed very openly in Pakistan but they do exist, and are rising every day. Wives are silenced and along with their voices, their desires and needs are also muzzled. Instead of a ‘happily ever after’, something every girl dreams of when getting married, they forever left to live with questions like ‘did I make this happen?’ ‘what did I do to deserve this?’ or ‘why am I being punished?’.

The existence of homosexual men and women in our society is a reality; whether this happens inside closets or out of them, they exist and are a part of our society. A person’s sexuality is their own business – so I am not here to judge. The issue that is of concern to me today is the social crime that exists when the sexual orientation of an individual is not revealed and in turn ends up destroying the innocent lives of people who tie the knot in hopes of pursuing a straight marital relationship.

Unfortunately though, this social crime does not just end with a homosexual man marrying a straight woman. Having spoken to homosexual people, it is yet another story of helplessness and grief. Most of them say that they are forced and pressurised by their families to get married. They don’t have the courage to tell their parents straight up for fear of ‘disgracing the family’. The result is – they live isolated lives.

Many people who have tried to open up to their friends and family members have come across things like “It is all in your head” or “it is a psychological problem and can be treated, don’t worry”. Many people are taken to various doctors and hakims to be ‘treated’, some are beaten for even thinking along those lines and others are emotionally blackmailed by their parents.  But like Sohail, described in case 3, despite having been through ‘treatment’ and being married to a woman, his sexual orientation remained the same.

In situations like this, it is the parents who need to come to terms with their child’s sexuality. They must not force their children to get married to people of the opposite sex to ‘save face’, they must not put their children on guilt trips or accuse them of ‘dishonouring’ them in society just because they refused a proposal.

When parents knowingly force their children to get married to members of the opposite sex, they are not only playing with the lives of their own children but with those of other people too. They may think it is worth a shot to get their children married and force them to have children, but what if the child’s sexual orientation remains the same despite having children? Is Sohail not our case in point? Why treat the girl he married like a guinea pig? I do not see why it is so hard to understand that she is not a lab test for your son’s sexuality!

Remaining in a state of denial will not help anyone. Talk to your children; find out how you can help. You are parents for crying out loud – don’t judge your own child!

*The names have been changed to protect identities. 

Farah S Kamal

Farah S Kamal

An education and development consultant, who is currently leading the iEARN programs in Pakistan. Photography is her hobby and passion and she tweets @fskamal (twitter.com/fskamal)

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • Saad

    So parents should support the same sex marriages now ??
    Recommend

  • Bilal Habib

    What about women being ‘Lesbian’? This article is heavily biased against men.Recommend

  • wb

    This is blasphemy. There are no gays among Muslims. Homosexuality is a disorder that can be cured with dua. Muslim men just cannot be gay. Pakistani Muslim men can never be gay. Homosexuality is satanism.Recommend

  • JJ

    Shame on the express tribune and also on the author,We are muslims and homo sexuality is not allowed in Islam. The nation of Hazrat Loot (A.S) was destroyed by Allah (S.W.T) due to this sin in huge amount and you people are trying to spread this by writing these use less articles.I think express tribune is on some special agenda.Recommend

  • Shural

    Everytime there is an opportunity, pseudo liberals like Farah who are hugely in social denial come up and promote their own modern values in the name of progress, destroying our cultural fabric! Such a lame attempt! Recommend

  • Ishaq

    Why don’t the people in these comments understand that she’s not advocating gay rights. Gay people are born that way believe it or not. But be empathic and realise the pain that either gender go through when they realise that their spouses are gay because their emotions have been played with. This isn’t blasphemy. There ARE gay people. In our society too. Muslims CAN be gay. And it can not be cured with ‘dua’ what the.. No matter what you try to do to change a gay person they will always be gay. Sorry to say but no one is trying to modernize us. If people would just accept facts our country and our world would be so much better. Recommend

  • Ishaq

    Guys I am not a ‘pseudo-liberal’ or whatever the hell you people try to call us to justify your arguments, but for one second just think: what those people must be feeling. Why ruin someone’s life and not come clean. And remember by calling gays disgusting and abnormal you just might be their motivation to end their own life. Think before you comment please. And for the love of God WE GET IT YES YES ALLAH BURNED THAT NATION BECAUSE THEY WERE GAY OR WHATEVER YOU DONT NEED TO REPEAT IT. This is not blasphemy it’s the truth. Get out of your little bubbles please. In fact screw modernization or anything like that, if our country can not embrace acceptance, how are we supposed to call ourselves real humans and real Pakistanis. And even if you don’t want to accept them keep your ideas and your ‘oh those disgusting gays’ comments to yourselves. Recommend

  • Guest

    There is a provision for four wives that could sort out just such a scenario.Recommend

  • bushra

    What a piece of rubbish to come up and write about, n don’t judge?! Allah has ordered against it, so judging is not an option here, wondering how much damage these pseudo western locals are causing Recommend

  • Rizwan Liaqat

    @shural and @JJ

    I know very well that homosexuality is a major sin in Islam. However you need to understand that the author is raising a very valid issue here. You might hate it but gay people do exist. The writer is only asking that we acknowledge that homosexuality exists as a sexual orientation. She’s not asking for gay marriages to be legalised. If all these parents had accepted their son’s sexual orientation the lives of the women they married wouldn’t have been ruined. Just because someone is a homosexual does not mean they’re a sinner, they might not even be acting on it, you have no way of knowing that.Recommend

  • Vegetable Man

    “‘My husband is gay’ – are not easy words to come to terms with”

    It is if you yourself are a man… then it works out rather well…Recommend

  • Shehr Bano

    I thought homosexuality was natural until I met a genetics professional who had investigated long ago … And now I laugh because Masha Allah shaitan has evaded our minds to believe it as a right thing.. And make us blame Allah who knew what would happen and created the world if it were natural then Allah would have provided a rule..justified it… Think before you make up your mind… And if your are not a Muslim name me one religion that goes out in support of homosexuality.. Don’t you think God has the power to know the futureRecommend

  • saeed – toronto

    I can understand a hormonal defect by birth. But how could a married person with a daughter be a gay? Gay people who have hormonal imbalance can be recognized by their looks most of the time as the hormonal imbalance shows on their faces. To me this a disability and these people should be treated with patience like all other disabled people.Recommend

  • Ahmed

    I like it how most of the comments are assuming the author is promoting Homosexuality, but if any of you had actually read the whole thing, you would know this article is about “social crime that exists when the sexual orientation of an individual is not revealed and in turn ends up destroying the innocent lives of people”.
    Those of you who say homosexuality is a sin in Islam and is a mental disorder, please educate yourself. Being a homosexual is dependent on your biology, not psychology (most cases). This is scientific fact, and thus being a true muslim you can not not deny proven science. Sure ACT of homosexuality is a sin but being one is natural, that’s literally how God made you. So why did he make it a sin? well he knows best.Recommend

  • uzair khan

    Now our senseless media will promote this type of stories in order to promote gay culture in Pakistan. Be afraid of Allah. Stop promoting this for God sake. Being gay is not nature of any person its a putrid addiction. gay should be strictly punished.Recommend

  • AmirB

    So we have solved all other problems and the only thing left is this freaking gay problem…which destroys countless lifes…we have no poverty, no child labor and no illiteracy…what we have is a gay problem and we have to save these precious lives which get destroyed because of getting married to opposite sex… The world will be a happier place if gays can get married in Pakistan, this will also address the population issue as well…..Disgusting really.Recommend

  • Anum

    This article does not promote homosexuality instead it is a plead to parents who knowingly stay in denial and distroy lives of young girls for their selfish reasons. I think if they must put their sons sexual orientation to the test why not marry a woman who is on need of a male support and let her know before hand that this can be a outcome. But that too is not ethical. May Allah help humanity. Recommend

  • Custard_Pie_In_Your_Face

    I’d agree, but ‘My wife is a lesbian – A difficult truth’ just doesn’t have the same ring about it.

    Plus the fact that alot of guys would be celebrating, not lamenting.Recommend

  • Samman

    All you religious people telling Farah how this article is a blasphemy need to realise that no where did Farah mention that homosexuality is acceptable in Islam. I don’t even think she said anything about Islam. All she did was shed light on the fact that there are gays in our society aswell. They exist and take part in homosexual activities and because this is such a taboo topic in our society everyone just tries to cover it up. Basically by marrying their gay sons off to straight women, ruining the lives of those women. Nobody said anything about how parents should support same sex marriages in Pakistan but atleast donot force your gay son to marry a woman, that is just cruel to the son and the daughter of someone else.
    Also the person who thinks muslims just ‘cannot’ be gay need to do some research. Recommend

  • Nimra

    The Article is only pointing out DO NOT DESTROY A WOMEN’S LIFE JUST BECAUSE YOUR SON IS A GAY OR WATEVER! Yes we are Muslims but we should accept reality too that we have homosexuals in the society too and how they destroy another persons life should be highlighted.There needs to be a debate on it? Everyone of us has access to indian and english movies where this is a common topic than why not highlight it to save lives? Do you think its fear women should keep on sacrificing? NO!!!! No where it is said promote gay marriage these gay man should stay single rather than destroying a womens life. SIMPLERecommend

  • ZH

    number one thing the article is too much biased, what about a man if he is married with some lesbian, second thing is that some brothers gave many extreme statements that homosexuality can’t exist we are Muslim by the way that’s a pathetic thinking. Homosexuality is not allowed in Islam is something else and its existence is separate thing. Islam forbidden homosexuality because of its existence. Third a mr said it can be cured with dua then kindly cure all gays because many are praying for it but they are still the same. Dua is no doubt can change fate but many of gays or lesbians don’t become homosexual by their own choice.

    Last but not least who are saying pseudo liberals kindly check your Madras what molvis doing there, they are using children for their lust and making hundreds of homosexuals. Please let people speak. Quran says about homosexuality and illegal sex openly only to make us understand then who the hell u r to stop people voice. Let them discuss and find the solution. Its about innocent lives. Don’t make Islam a Taboo. Islam is not a conservative like you. Islam teaches you to explore. People like Farah are giving awareness to people. If someone’s daughter or son is married with homosexual go and ask how miserable their relationship is ? Its a serious social issue and need to be resolved.Recommend

  • Anon

    The parents in our society should be more accepting of their child’s sexuality and the same goes for the society as a whole so that crimes and betrayal like in case 3 do not happen.Recommend

  • Sam

    Are you fkin blind? Can’t you see that she is talking about those who destroys innocent girl’s life just for the face saving of their own son. I have witnessed similar case in my life as one of my friend’s friend is Pakistani, apparently Muslim, but gay too. He was put to marry a girl from Pakistan. I have seen how that poor lady dies everyday as that person is living with his partner as well as his wife now.Recommend

  • Moeez Subhani

    this is just a feminist view of a very controversial matter. Living in Europe I get to learn similar thoughts from most non muslims. However, realizing the truth of our society there seems to be no solution to this problem except making our youngsters realize what is correct and what is wrong. The only reality is our religion and we should stick to it. I believe the problem should be same with the lesbians, and it is a high time to come out of our shells and deal with the real problems rising up in our society!Recommend

  • K

    Farah this was a great article. To the people in the comment thread: the taboo associated with homosexuality is precisely why you don’t know many homosexual muslims, which most certainly do exist. Whether you approve or disapprove homosexuality is a different thing, what the author is trying to say is that its unfair to force/trick women into marrying homosexual men expecting that the men will magically turn into loving husbands.Recommend

  • Safaidsuch

    Gay ruins life of a women who he marries, writer is absolutely right, And pointed out the real issue..Recommend

  • Fahad Hafeez

    Its just that marriages should not be forced upon by parents everyone knows what’s better from them, these issus result in when parents put too much pressure and force on marriage. Recommend

  • goggi (Lahore)

    Jamil bhai was telling his newly-wed wife, my Phuppo was married twice and both times divorced……… but the poor woman is still a virgin!
    Whaaaat how is that possible, asked the bewildered wife.

    Jamil bhai: Well the first husband turned out to be a gay. Every night he use to put on Phuppo´s make-up, wear her glaring clothes and sleep with his bottom towards her!
    Recommend

  • Critical

    In a culture where women are supposed to docile and imams giving fatwa that husband can starve their wives if they dont allow them to have sex..and marital rape is not taken as an offence..

    Do you think that many men would keep quiet because her wife was a lesbian??? They will inevitable force themselves on her hoping that she will soon start liking sex…Recommend

  • Animal Farm

    A good start will be to stop destroying the lives of innocent women just to show to the society that their son is not gayRecommend

  • sultan

    “Sam” As you mention in your above statement that this thing you also observed with your friend’s friend, and the person who did that is Muslim simply the answer is just turn to QURAN, Allah fend us to not commit that sin. As Reference the Empire of Sodomine. And that Nation faces the retribution for that and became denier, So first correct your thoughts about Muslim, secondly if a person who commit a huge sin which is “prohibitive in nature’ then punish him rather to allow or permit that sin in whole society. If we want to get rid of these terrible activities then we allow our society to completely turn to Allah’s Will and apply all obligatory rules in the society otherwise we are surrounded with these type of
    troubles.Recommend

  • WhoWasThatMaskedMan

    How about you start gathering gays and making a dua.Recommend

  • WhoWasThatMaskedMan

    One genetics professor it took? Awesome.
    There are many studies that suggest multiple factors contribute to homosexuality and genetics could or could not be one of them.Recommend

  • Sohail Khan

    Very week written Farah, I always read your blogs. I myself know many case where husband is in the closet and in few case out of them, but yeah they exist and even with kids. But they still keep relations with men to fulfill their sexual needs.Recommend

  • castor

    Hahaha. That’s funny and true.Recommend

  • Anonymous

    I think those days are not far away when someone who was never in a relationship might be considered a gay.I am not against what this guy is saying it just where our future generations are heading to.Recommend

  • argue hew

    the topic must come to the fore. We have no idea how many lives are doomed because we have swept it under the rug. We find gays and sex taboo, yet we breed like rabbits – or even faster. We are sex addicts in closets. Just that we are too hypocrite and purist to admit that.
    Instead of whining, debunk me with facts. And ET, please do not censor me. Let them rip my argument apart. I am not a fake liberal. Just a rational human being.Recommend

  • argue hew

    All those idiots who jumped to write their unsolicited opinion, without bothering with content of the blogpost, should upvote me. Lets have a poll here.
    The writer did a noble job and uncivil mullas are scolding her. I am glad Islam does not draw its power from judgmental people like you. May you mend your ways.Recommend

  • Yawar Shabbir

    Bro it is biased wat ever but its more of a mental issue then one is born with it so i disagree that the person lesbo aur gay is not by his or her choice yes they r if the faith is strong enough then no one can be so they r sinner and a cursed ppl and yes they exist but of v dislike them and have the punishment of islamic ways then the can b cured and counseling by parents and frnds but they r not at all excepted in a muslim society as many other ills sorry sorry gays mend ur ways or u r going to juhanum inshallah
    Recommend

  • Yawar Shabbir

    No its not true there is no hormonal prob with them its just there freaking mind which has lost its porpose its mental and then cums hormonal prob its the socity and ppl around them so no one is born gay either its man or women and the third one we know will they r natural not these gays and lasbos they need to b stopped snubed and if then they dont stop punished and examples made for the next to cum plxx its there fault. Not the creater who creats every one with perpose and in the purest form possibleRecommend

  • Yawar Shabbir

    Bro i 2nd you its crap its their fault and these ppl r responsable for their acts Recommend

  • Sam

    I totally agree with uRecommend

  • Sam

    First of all a Muslim life surrounds around islam so either u r gay or a Muslim choice is urs second when qoum e loot commit that sin it was a guidance given by Satan it wasn’t existed similar way like shaitan told habeel to kill kabeel and then buried him. It’s not natural and no way in hell in pakistan this going to be accepted no matter the whole world legalize it. Third if a movie does it he is committing sin no less criminal but more in the eyes of God and if with innocent child then he should be burnt alive Recommend

  • fatima

    My sister suffered for two years and never knew about it. Physical torture was everyday thing,and one day the guy who is dead now brought a man to meet her and said he is my husband. The day he tried to choke her to death was when she lived on upper portion of a home and landlord heard her choking to death and came and helped my sister and called my parents and told them to take her with them is the day my sister found freedom from physical and mental abuse by him.Recommend

  • prashanth

    There are more homosexuals in a closed society than a society that is open towards sexual orientation. It is much much higher in Iran as compared to US. What people do not understand is that human sexuality is an interaction of male and female hormones. Both men and women have both of these hormones; it is the relative amount that makes one a man, woman or many things in between.

    Even a purely heterosexual man is not purely a man. Manhood is just a general location not a fixed point. A sexually conservative society makes more homosexuals and lesbians. With restricted contact with the opposite sex, many persons in the border find sex among their own.Recommend

  • Kharet

    The funniest comment I read here was that being gay is an illness and it can be cured by a dua. I mean guys come on. There ARE gay Muslims. There are. If you fail to accept that doesn’t that just mean you’re just living in a bubble? This article is not advocating homosexuality nor is it supporting homosexuality, but in fact it is stating a very valid point that is a huge issue in our society but remains taboo because over here most people worry about what others will think of their family and their ‘reputation’. They are too self-consumed to know that homosexuals do not CHOOSE to be that way, in fact they are BORN WITH IT. It is not ‘blasphemy’ it is the truth. So much crap saying how people are liberals and ‘act cool to keep up with the world’ can you like please accept the fact that there are gay people. Honestly are you guys really so shallow that you’re turning an article about a taboo-yet-significant topic into how the author is a ‘Pseudo-liberal’? Have you ever even thought of what those poor girls go through? No you haven’t! Because you’re too worried about how Muslim LGBT and it’s supporters are going to rot in hell and all this. Also, you realise what you’re doing to those poor homosexuals who must be reading these comments seeing all the hate. You might just end a life with your hateful comments. Then you’ll have to answer Allah for that. Who knew 3 letters could change us Muslims to the extent where we hate on these poor souls who are bullied just because they are born with it. People like you guys shouldn’t give their hateful opinions because honestly tbh bullied or not, ‘cured’ or not, they will always be gay. GAY. Oh is that three letter word burning your eyes? Get over it. It doesn’t mean you’re a ‘Pseudo-liberal’ just because you accept the fact that gays are gays and they are here. HERE THERE EVERYWHERE. The parents who force their kids to get married even when they’re gay aren’t parents at all. It is a sin to force your child into marriage. And basically one of the things I want to say to you guys is: Who the hell gave you the right to judge? Isn’t judging a sin? When people hate on Muslims, you guys don’t like it. So what justifies you guys hating on gays? Because it’s forbidden in Islam? Well it’s all a matter of interpretation. Let us also remember that the people of the nation of Hazrat Lut AS were also involved in cheating, fraud, theft and were unbelievers. And his wife was an unbeliever too just saying. It is how you interpret it. Just remember guys. Don’t hate on others and even other muslims just because they can accept a fact that you can’t :)Recommend

  • Kharet

    You do know that they were involved in theft fraud and cheating too right?Recommend

  • Kharet

    Lmao ‘can be cured with dua’ your argument is invalid. It’s not a disorder. It’s natural. Sorry to pop your little bubble. Recommend

  • salman

    case 3 clearly sounds like the husband was bisexual. plenty of bisexual people can have happy married lives with females, as long as the partner is accepting. everyone has a range of interests. case in point: angelina jolie is bisexual, and happilly married to brad pit. pakistani women need to stop freaking the hell out. the point is not that someone has different sexual interests, it’s if they act on it outside of marriage.Recommend

  • liberal-lubna-fromLahore

    and this is news because? Quran clearly mentions existence of such impulses and how one can CONTROL them but it does not mean this some ‘new’ trend that these liberal aunties and uncle have started swaying their arms high up in the air for.

    Unfortunately, in this era globalization east consumes what the west preaches. Any person with common sense would tell u that this is a WHITE concept. Look at peer reviewed articles related to this article, learn about it’s history and you would know this is coming from an educated person not some delusional hypocrite in awe of western values. It’s not stemming from nature for god’s sake if thats what has got u to join the mantra for tolerance and love. It’s neither of that. It’s break down of moral values.

    Day by day we r adopting more western values and forgetting our own. I guess we should now chant for NAMBLA next. Enough is enough. The reason this is becoming so common and has infiltrated our society to this extent is because of Western media and their impositions of sexual ideas in music, films, tv, EVERYWHERE. through niki minajs and lady gagas, the type of artists that we must condemn not celebrate! BAN POP CULTURE I’d say. I appeal CM shahbaz to ban english pop stars’ music in Pakistan.

    Back in our parents time, entertainment was PURE with no wide spreading of lustful ideas. Unfortunately such concepts have become ought too common to ignore that they easily inject our unconscious brain and kids r now forced to think about something in a confusing manner which was once was so safeguarded and protected and innocent in religion. Shame on liberals for causing such immoral values in our society. You people r sinners but not everyone is like so please spare us. we dont care what u guys do with your lives! Leave Islam alone!Recommend

  • liberal-lubna-fromLahore

    straights r disgusting equally disgusting. muslims r supposed to be asexual. this whole propaganda to make sexual feelings and thoughts common has destroyed our society.Recommend

  • nadeem

    who da hell is the writer of express tribune…Recommend

  • nadeem

    shame on you express tribune for this beautiful blogRecommend

  • Abdul Aziz

    Good article. Reality must be faced by Muslims that sexuality of any person is an individual choice and as long as he/she are not enforcing their views on others they can do whatever they want.
    In KPK Homosexuality is very common. Infact its sad to see old men having affairs with young underaged boys which is criminal and should be tackled by the KPK government on urgent basis.Recommend

  • Sudesh

    Some women also justify their divorce by blaming the ex-husband, “He was gay. It is not my fault”. If the husband gets a little busy in work, comes late, and in general has no time to pamper his wife, then wife starts to think – “may be, he is gay”. This all talk of gay and gay rights has one effect in our society – if the man, for any reason, does not show interest in women (does not stare at them or passes lewd comments), then people jump at the conclusion – “He must be gay.”Recommend

  • Sudesh

    Such a woman can destroy the life of the man whom she marries. The husband will have no idea why his wife is not showing any interest.Recommend

  • Imran

    What the hell blasphemy is? Just grow up! We should have freedom of speech. I am not defending Homosexuality but why can’t we even discuss an issue?Recommend

  • Farah

    Thanks for understanding the main focus of this write up. Many people perceiving it as supporting gay marriages.Recommend

  • Sydney boi

    I think there is another aspect which people need to look into. I am currently living abroad in a very open and pluralistic society and I have come across quite a few men and women from the Sub continent region who are turning to post marital same sex relationship. After meeting with few and becoming close friends and discussing their relationship there is a common factor in all of them. Their’s partner not able to sexually satisfy them. It’s not about just having sex, it’s about pleasure, it’s about adding spice to your sexual life which is a need of every individual. Because we grow up in a society where there is no awareness on sexual relationship we take “SEX” just as a medium to have kids which is not true. There is so much more to it which we forget.

    There needs to awareness amongst the youth of our nation on such issues.Recommend

  • Brar

    You are hypocrates, religion has nothing to do with this, you should admit it, or you say there are no such thing in your society. The writer wants that the life of an innocent girls should not spoiled. These souls are also the creation of God, it is not their fault Recommend

  • educated person

    Wow, comments like these sums up what is wrong with this nation. So ignorant and narrow minded. No wonder we are nothing but a big joke as a society.Recommend

  • Brar

    Pity on you but you can not change the facts, the religion has nothing to do with it, they are also the creation of same God who created all of us so instead of denying and hating accept them , they are also a part of this society.Recommend

  • Brar

    My dear homosexuality and gay or lesbians are two different things you are confused. When u say Allah created every thing that u willhave to agree that they are a;so the creation of Allah and if Allah has no problem in creating why are you so concerned.Recommend

  • Brar

    Afraid of Allah who created them, gay is natural not any addition and what will you say about transgenders.Recommend

  • S

    Why dont you write something which is of more concern in this society. Even this problem persist I am sure in Pakistan it will of very minute amount. Is there any special agenda of ET? Why they are highlighting a very small issue and not taking into consideration issues that can improve our society as whole.Recommend

  • Brar

    Rubbish is ur comment they are also the creation of Allah, you accept it or not they are reality and a part and parcel of the society.Recommend

  • Edward Bynes

    If homosexuals exists then do their parents are allowed to ruin a girls life? This same thing can happen in women’s case if man founds that she’s a lesbian. You can’t force religion on someone it’s duty of parents to raise awareness among these issues and don’t see these things like a taboo. This is the reason behind a good sexual education which Muslim countries lack’s in.Recommend

  • RFD

    This a hindu. From Hindustan. Seems he got you with his fake comment. Just remind him which god do the hindus pray to,
    to cure their affliction. Since there are 8,742 gods and goddesses,
    at last count. He also claims that two of them passed away in the
    Gujrat Heat Wave of May ’15. So there are 8,740 left now.Recommend

  • Aminah

    Brilliantly written Farah . I myself is a victim of Case 1. I don’t know why parents force their gay sons to get married . My whole life was ruined when I found out my husband was gay on my wedding night which resulted in divorce after hardly a month of my marriage. My while world was shattered . Took so many years to return back to normal . Recommend

  • Milind A

    He’s a Hindu from Hindustan.. So far correct.
    But its not a fake comment, but pure sarcasm… I understand you’re humour impaired or unable to laugh at yourselves, but still…Recommend

  • wiserneighbour

    Guys did not get your intentions. Great.Recommend

  • Javed Iqbal

    This article is NOT for you baby. Plz read Nasim Hajazi.Recommend

  • Hassan

    well well well…now this dude is trying to be a philosopher…so he thinks there is a difference between being gay and being homosexual…thumbs up but not at all impressive…u know u make no sense…when a tiger is to mate with tigress etc…then why the hell this is acceptable in humans????? the only purpose is to breed.. as in other species, this is not to merely enjoy positions….when it is not natural should be banned or i should go on asking it to be a punishable crime. having said that i agree with the author that there are people who finds pleasure or attraction in the same gender they should not be asked to marry an innocent girl neither should be allowed to carry on with their homosexual stuff…no freedom of speech or action shall be allowed for homosexuals/gays/ lesbians…whether u like it or not…we r hardliner here in this particular case. this is our land and the majority of the population are normal people therefore this Brar gay is trying to support this evil act…and listen if Godhas a problem then????? he did not create a homo but he left us on our free will like for example he created a dacoit then going with ur logic if God did not have any problem then why r u concern???? it was and is always about actions…action was not created.Recommend

  • ارشد حسین

    The islam is the only religion which teach and train every expect of life. The problem is not muslim countries, the problem is lacking of your religious knowledge. Recommend

  • ارشد حسین

    A muslim is the person who have to disciple every step of his life according to Islam. If one doesn’t agree with that it means he is not agree with Islam. And Islam doesn’t need these fools.Recommend

  • ارشد حسین

    Why pointing a minor but critical issue, the reason may be a lot others in case of marriages. Recommend

  • ارشد حسین

    And you are becoming part of the same. Islam doesn’t follow society. But we follow Islam for advanced society for all.Recommend

  • ارشد حسین

    Freedom of speech will disturb you when your kids will do it with you.Recommend

  • ارشد حسین

    You are invited.
    Recommend

  • ارشد حسین

    But there are other issue with quite higher ratios in marriage problems. What it had to do with Pakistani media, or you should have given example of your family members or countrymen. Recommend

  • ali

    publish my commentsRecommend

  • ali

    shame on uRecommend

  • ارشد حسین

    True. Parents doesn’t teach islamic values to their children and then want to apply according to it.

    How that can be acceptable by their children?Recommend

  • Gratgy

    What is a fake comment? Lol! The rest of your comment does not make sense eitherRecommend

  • Gratgy

    “muslims r supposed to be asexual”

    Then do they multiply by binary fission?Recommend

  • swamy

    No my friend. There are million gods in India in May ’15 two passed away and 10 born so on the last count it ismillion and eight. Now there is a new law that God cannot enter bed rooms so god is unable to “cure”. :)Recommend

  • asallo

    Homo sexuallity is not in Islam and that is the fact beside that so called liberals telling us that homosexuality is reality and we should allow it and live with it instead why don’t they suggest parents to get treatment of their son/daughter before the marriage because it is a mental health issue.Recommend

  • Idon’tlistentoidiots

    According to Islam, marriage is sometimes:
    Farz-Mandatory: When one cannot control the s-e-x-ual u r g e
    Sunnah-Optional: When some reaches his/ her due marriage age
    Haram-Prohibited: When some cannot fulfill their spouse’s needs (s-e-x-ual and other)….Recommend

  • SpeakUp

    The guy’s comments might have sounded funny to you but his argument is completely valid. Homosexuality IS a disorder. There’s nothing natural about it, otherwise we would see such behavior among animals and other species. And I pity your sense of judgment for you are blind to see that most of Homosexuals choose to be that way due to their sexual exposure in their early lives by being sexually harassed, or just had a problematic youth. Like a fellow commented earlier, Islam doesn’t follow society. It is just unfortunate that people like you get to mock and discourage others who are making a valid point. You need to wake up and pop your own bubble actually. Recommend

  • Abdul Aziz

    Arshad Husain- You are just deluding yourself and living in a fake world created by your own mullah mind. Come back to reality. Homosexuality is not a sin. Every man or woman is born with their own sexual preference. Pakistan has more gays than west but it all hidden under a carpet. You are not accepting the reality.Recommend

  • Jayman

    I feel sorry for your ignorance. Have the courage to research a subject rather than blindly following something that was written in a different era that bears no semblance to ours. At the very least turn the other way. Nobody is looking for your religious sermons. There are enough of them preaching and maiming in Syria and Iraq.Recommend

  • Qaiser

    The fact is that there is no scientific evidence of homosexuality being a natural phenomenon. In a Muslim society, such acts are not permitted and people should respect the moral standards and the law of land.Recommend

  • marym

    This is an issue seriously, please parents raise your kids sensibly. Girls acting like boys or boys dressing up as girls is not cute.and not okay. Many homosexuals are homosexuals because of the environment they were raised in.
    And if you know your kid has a problem please dont make him ruin some ones life. Recommend

  • Imran

    It’s your fear & feudal mindset that can’t let others to speak not even your own kids. I would like to let them speak and conquer this world.Recommend

  • Aamir S Abid

    To all those people who believe this sick behavior of gay, lesbian ,homosexual are natural and people are born with it that is totally lie and false it’s a urge or habit desire mentally adictive sickness like smoking, drug users, alcoholic, or any addiction you put on your self or forced on you and nothing else it’s curable disease thru Allah hikmat in quran in Islam in duaa love for Allah truly follow Allah path and see miracles happens and pls don’t reply or lecture me with wrong number mullahs or fake molvies are doing or have done in the society they or that’s not islam so my point is homosexuality is not natural or born with its a lust or bad habit and no1 is talking about female lesbians in this forum or blog all is about male gay talk?what about lesbianism? Are naturally born too?yes transgenders are naturally born (no male and no female the between gender)there’s also law or guide for that in islam.so people pls stop blaming on God that God’s creation they are god made man and woman give them free will to decide between right and wrong also give them rules, laws,guidence thru holly quran, bible, and old testament, so this a bad habit and sick lust Recommend

  • Imran

    Really every aspect of life? Could you draw traffic rules from Islam? That’s our problem. Islam teaches every aspect of life is 19th century concept. Islam is just to teach you about morality.Recommend

  • Brar

    My dear Qaiser is there any scientific evidence that this not natural, I just want to say that it is not religion specific, we agree that the whole universe is the creation of God so they are also having equal right to live they must not be hated they are a part of this society and only the wearer knows where the shoue pinches.Recommend

  • https://www.facebook.com/ ather khan

    why are we believing this false made up cases.Recommend

  • Shama Shezadi

    Most guys in Asia are gay but they hide it very well. Due to the fact, boys can hang out with other boys freely, they tend to explore each other and experiment. Whereas girls are kept at home.
    They get married and live with the wife but their ultimate desire to be with a man is always lingering in their mind. Sad.Recommend

  • FarahKamal

    So you think being Bisexual is OK, is not it cheating, is not it extra marital relationship.Recommend