Anushka Sharma is Pakistan’s mauka mauka!

Published: March 27, 2015
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Some may suggest that the Twitterati firestorm against Anushka Sharma is sexist. PHOTO: DAILYMOTION SCREENSHOT

According to Twitter, it appears that Anushka Sharma is the solitary reason behind India crashing out of the Word Cup in the semi-final.

She is also to be held accountable for her beau Virat Kohli scoring only one run and dropping a catch in the vital match against Australia. Because logically, if she hadn’t been there, Kohli would have surely gone on to score a double century and would have, obviously, taken all 10 wickets too.

It does appear that Anushka is Pakistan’s ‘mauka mauka’. Pakistan should have paid for her airfare to witness our game against India on February 15th but alas we let this mauka slip by — if only we had a little more foresight. But now that we do know, let us put this very useful woman to work and let’s hire her to be the next Chacha Pakistan, in disguise of course. From now own, Anushka must make an appearance at every game Pakistan plays against India. This is clearly the only way India can ever be defeated and the only way to ensure that Kohli is limited to just one run per inning.

Problem finally solved!

What’s that you say? Kohli has scored a century in Anushka’s presence at a game at the very same stadium? Oh, that’s of very little significance now because the time you speak of, Anushka was not a magician. She has since then acquired magical powers and is able to, just with the movement of her eyes, make a world class batsman like Kohli play a bad game.

There is no other rational explanation because a sportsman, any sportsman, cannot play a poor shot ever. In fact, I do believe Anushka was in the crowd when Sachin Tendulkar was out for a duck against Pakistan. Scrap that actually. It makes no sense. She was most definitely a spectator all 20 times that Sachin was out for a duck. Yes, of course, that’s what must have happened for sure.

Some may suggest that the Twitterati firestorm against Anushka is sexist. I, for one, totally disagree. I feel as though the people behind the onslaught are paying Anushka a very high compliment in suggesting that she can so control one of the best batsmen the world has ever seen. To be able to manage such a feat would imply that one is a very powerful and capable woman indeed, so more power to women and way to go Anushka. Pakistan, and it appears Australia, needs many, many more women like you; women who have the remarkable ability to make India lose a game.

If India won’t have you, we will gladly accept you with open arms.

  • Namaloom

    Since you mentioned my tweet, here are my two golden asharfis on this “not het fault you sick sexiest” type of blogs and emotional status updates…

    These were jokes, meant to be jokes and had to taken as jokes… only a few people might have actually in seriousness would have blamed her for the loss. Majority of Twitterati were having just simple innocent fun.

    Now I am seeing this trend. People who were making jokes on Anushka a day before, are now posting and sharing senti updates on Anushka should not be balmed and those who did are misogynist and stuff. Sheer Hypocrisy!!Recommend

  • b2mishra06

    feel sorry for your narrow-mindedness Pakis . you guys are pathetic. have you guys ever seen a single post in Indian media about Pakistan failure to win QF.? from last evening i have seen 4-5 posts only on ET celebrating India’s loss. and then you say India is Pakistan-phobic. No it is you who are India-phobic. and for anushka sharma i am telling you nobody (except KRK :D ) seriously blamed her.
    PS- to ET moderator please publish my comments. you havenot published my earlier comments.Recommend

  • asim

    The Zaid Hamid account you are referencing is fake.Recommend

  • Salman Zaidi

    Lol India has made jokes about every single defeat of Pakistan. The Mauka Mauka was the proof. Pakistani guy wearing different teams uniform and wishing India lose the match.

    Guess what you should blame your own media because they were attracting this for India. and God heared their wish and guess what India lost the match and mauka mauka guy actually got successfull in blowing the crackers

    Maukaaaaaa Maukaaaaaaaa Dhoookaaaaa DhookaaaaaaaRecommend

  • Whatever

    I think you missed the point here…she is actually siding with Kohli and saying that any sportsman can have a bad day! n am sure you have insights to what all the Indians are thinking!Recommend

  • Headstrong

    What wannabes! Bottom line – India beat Pakistan. India went further in the campaign. Now you guys can reach for the balm and apply liberally. Recommend

  • dearneighbour

    A- we are not ‘Pakis’, please refer to us as Pakistanis :)
    B- are you serious!!? We didn’t think you were…with the ‘mauqa mauqa’ campaign (which btw was absolutely brilliant!). We thought one good joke deserved another. Lighten up brother, we’re kidding. Peace.

    p.s. Don’t compare us to KRK, please! :PRecommend

  • RFD

    That was funny ! ! Absolutely ! This Sharma should attend every game
    between India and Pak. A win guaranteed.Recommend

  • Critical

    Wow,that Anushka reference was meant to be a joke and the accounts who have shared dont exactly belong to Ramiz Raja,Zaid hamid or Sir Ravendra Jadeja…In fact it was this twitter account which made Jadeja the infamous “Sir” title….

    Apart from KRK,noone actually blamed Anushka but were just pulling the leg…..just like a bunch of leftwingers jokingly blame Obama for every thing wrong with America…

    Looks like being a sub-editor,you could have atleast verified the twitter handles before you posted themRecommend

  • haayyaa

    LOL look whos talking
    – mauka maukaRecommend

  • Parvez

    Ha, ha,……..wicked.Recommend

  • Aj

    Dude take a joke. India lost. So what. It’s just a game. Some are happy India lost and others aren’t. That’s all it is. Lighten up.Recommend

  • Joshim Uddin

    got that rigjhtRecommend

  • RFD

    You were nice and polite. and a gentleman.To this hindu.
    A normal addressing epithet for these neighbors would be ‘Hindustanis,’ better still…’Bharatis,’ Krishna walas or
    Bhagwanis.Recommend

  • Uzair

    Indians started an entire mass-scale ad campaign against Pakistanis. I guess that is creativity, good humor, etc. and the Pakistani response is narrow-mindedness? Yes? Anyway, I am saddened that no Asian team could make it to the WC final. I hope that changes next time around. Good luck to both India and Pakistan for the next WC.Recommend

  • Aarij Ahmed Siddiqui

    really
    nobody noticedRecommend

  • Aarij Ahmed Siddiqui

    uhh u do realize that this is a sarcastic article in favour of anushka
    Recommend

  • Poonum Zahur

    Yar aik match main kohli didn’t perform , 1st game lost & they are out of the World Cup ,It has nothing to do with poor anoshka sharma. Hamary players bhe travel with their gfs n wives etc !!! One shouldnT drag her in ,,, how can we be that stupid !! Theek hy hum nahi tou India nahi but sports tak he raho ! Why going into someone’s personal life . She just appeared in a movie with a very strong n nice msg . Spare her please ,,,

    I am appalled by men & their thinking towards women these days because it’s not one but respecting all women !!
    Secondly those women aren’t worthy of praise who make other women look down upon !!! It is shameful specially as an educated One ………Recommend

  • Neutral

    Hahaha. What about the Pak-India head-to-head statistics? Why start an anti-Pakistan ad campaign, if you cannot handle the counter criticism? On a serious note, I think both countries have great cricketing talent and can achieve great success in upcoming World Cups. Good luck to both the teamsRecommend

  • Trigga

    Anushka or deepika …thankgod these nation lost though , i’ll drink to that …cheers :*Recommend

  • Sarah Uzair

    Hahahaha dil hae pakistani! :DRecommend