Jailed by my own brother

Published: October 4, 2014

For how long do we have to be jailed and imprisoned by our own brothers, husbands and fathers? PHOTO: REUTERS

I am a computer engineer who graduated from one of the best universities for computer sciences and IT in Pakistan. I was very happy when I graduated in 2012.

My GPA was not perfect, but it was still good enough to get a job. I was so happy. I had so many dreams, ones that would make my single mother very proud. I dreamt of getting some respect in this society that had treated me as a ‘yateem’ (orphan) for far too long. I dreamt of buying expensive dresses, being free and finding my ‘Mr Right’. I had dreams of becoming so much more than what I am now.

We shifted to Lahore as my brother was studying there. The move was good for me too as getting a job in Lahore was better than working in Abbottabad (where I lived). I started applying to a few software houses and got a few positive responses. I was being called for interviews and tests from some of the best software houses in the city. My mother was also very supportive and proud of me. But when my brother found out that I am applying for jobs, he forbade me and ‘ordered’ me to sit at home, giving the excuse of “halat kharab hein” (situation is bad in the city).

Although he is younger than me, his opinion is always valued and followed as he is the only male member of the family. And because he is the one who will be taking care of my mother once I am married, he is given more preference and importance than I am.

Therefore, I sit at home.

I have been unemployed for two years now, wasting the knowledge that I gained, as I am not allowed to work. I still get opportunity letters from firms who are willing to give me a starting pay of Rs40,000 to Rs60,000. But I am not allowed to earn or work because I am a girl – a girl in Pakistan. It is acceptable for my brother to work, even if he earns only Rs11,000, which barely gets us by. But I am not allowed to earn because I am a woman. This is where I stand today.

What is the use of me working hard day and night for a degree in computer engineering if my efforts were to be wasted? Why send me to university in the first place then? Why did I face all the harassment and teasing of my fellow male students if, by the end of the day, I had to sit at home?

If I had to stay unemployed, I could have halted my education after completing my FSc. Or I could’ve just stayed uneducated to begin with.

I am getting depressed and sadder day by day. I have started taking anti-depressants and other medicines. Sitting at home, I feel like I am going mad. I have nothing to do other than to wash dishes or watch TV. It seems as if I am jailed, jailed and mentally tortured by my own brother, with the support of my mother. I am jailed, by my own.

But it is not only me. There are countless other women in Pakistan who work hard to get an education and then have to sit at home washing dishes, clothes and cooking gol rotis for their brothers, fathers, husbands and sons. It is such a shame.

I do not know when the time will come when we’ll actually get rewards for our hard work, or when our society will realise that there can be female breadwinners in the family as well. For how long do we have to be jailed and imprisoned by our own brothers, husbands and fathers?

Till when do we have to be treated so worthlessly at the hands of our very own?

Can someone please answer my questions? Can someone tell me when will all this end?

Anam Tariq

Anam Tariq

A 25-year-old computer engineering graduate from COMSATS Institute of Information and Technology, Abbottabad. She loves to read and write.

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • Feroz

    Why do you have to listen to anyone if you are an adult ? You claim you can get a job paying between Rs 20,000 – 40,000 per month, can you not maintain yourself with that and live independently ? Tomorrow someone else will tell you, you cannot do this or that, will you bang your head against the wall and lament ? No one can own you once you have crossed the age of eighteen, you alone are responsible for your life and future.

    You should have used your mother to convince your brother to let you work. If neither can be convinced it would not be very wise to allow your future to rest in their hands. They may even sell you off in marriage to a poor suitor where you may agonize for the rest of your life, while they enjoy the proceeds. Wake up, sooner the better !Recommend

  • Kamran

    You want the truth? Its your fault for not resisting. And your mothers. You said in another blog that you have a step brother, so how come he can stop you from working?

    I know a girl, same situation as yours, her family didn’t want her to continue after bachelors but she appeared in the CSS exams all the same and currently serving as a 18th grade PAS officer. Now her family thinks 10 times before even speaking to her.Recommend

  • Ambreen Malik

    Anum bibi, you need to stand up and fight for yourself. Kick the back side of your brother and get out of your routine. Feeling sorry for yourself and having anti depressants wont get you anywhere. The loag and the idiot fathers, brothers and husbands will eventually give in when you show them the iron will. Your brother does not own you or your life. You need to own your life and decisions associated with it. So go out for the interviews and stop crying!Recommend

  • zain

    This story looks very strange to me . There are many loopholes in it .
    If you brother was that much strict why did he even allowed you to study in a reputable and expensive university .Recommend

  • https://twitter.com/MalikSaabSays MalikSaabi

    I feel your pain. Being forced to do something that one doesn’t want to do and that too something illogical, makes one go crazy.
    Do not take antidepressants – they do more harm than good (in the long run).
    Pray to the Almighty. If you want to talk to Him, pray; if you want Him to talk to you and solve the problem on your hand, read His ‘qalaam’.

    Then set out on a strategy to achieve what you want. People change, the Almighty can change hearts if you follow His ways.
    But DON’T LOSE HOPE AND DON’T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS. You remember that.Recommend

  • A!

    To answer your questions: when you stand up for your own rights!!!

    Don’t expect anyone else to hand you your freedom! Get it yourself…!Recommend

  • https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8559594100366660134#allposts Supriya Arcot

    Hey sweety don’t fret . Many in IT can work from home . Browse the net and u Will find many sites which give this option . This way u get the best of both the worlds . Chin up .Recommend

  • help

    i really appreciate your courage for work. Lets accept a reality for a while and find out a workaround of this. I would recommend you to dig internet about freelancing/blogging/content writing etc. You can work from home. I hope your brother will not have an objection on this. I think its not about money. Its about sitting idle makes people mad.Recommend

  • Indian

    It will end only when the cultural mindset changes/ or if you go abroad/ or your mother decides to stand up to your brother ( try to convince her about how you will make more money than your brother-& thus will take better care of her,even after you’re married. Maybe you can negotiate & come to some arrangement with her-like she can live with you after your wedding )
    On an offshoot topic-for women who end up,not working-its still not advisable for them,to be uneducated.The higher the degree,the better,even for stay-at-home empowered ladies (though ideally,the stay-at-home decision, should be voluntary & not enforced by anyone else-husbands/brothers etc.)Recommend

  • Taimoor Hasan Qazi

    You should try freelancing. Lots of opportunities to work from home in your area of expertise. That, or slap some sense into your brother.Recommend

  • HADY

    Simplest Solution,
    Get Married to your Mr Right.
    And start looking for the job after honeymoon.
    Dont make an issue out of it.Recommend

  • sharabi

    your brother is right. periodRecommend

  • anum

    Hello, please check out elance.com or other such freelancing websites where you can get good projects if you build up your profile. You can make good money there sitting at home..Recommend

  • Teesra Haath

    Most men might feel insecure if they see a woman earning more than he is. I personally think they feel either ashamed or envious. Anyway, this is way too common in our conservative society. So many bright, confident and young women have their lives dictated by someone else, which is a travesty. If these women are allowed to work then they could become the pillars of our society, but these men who want to drag us back to the 7th century would rather make their family go through hardships than take a dent on their ego. I do feel for you, and sincerely hope just SOMETHING changes in our society for the better so we can make some actual progress instead of showing hollow patriotism and chanting ‘Pakistan Zindabad.’Recommend

  • Kiran

    Stand up for yourself WOMAN…what are you waiting for? you’re an adult, you have the right to do whatvever the hell you want, work where you want. YOU DO NOT NEED PERMISSION FROM A MAN, REGARDLESS OF WHO HE IS…so stand up for yourself and don’t let your bully of a brother get his way…because if you refuse to stand up for yourself now then you will NEVER be free and you will be oppressed throughout your life…THE CHOICE IS YOURS TO SET YOURSELF FREERecommend

  • Holde Khan

    Sister, I worked in a software house in Lahore and it is not all milk and honey. Most engineers are men and are very sexist, and harassment of women is very common. From bad jokes to outright assault, it all happens frequently. Only those women survive who are from ‘gunda’ backgrounds and only a very foolish person would cross them. eg, a guy teased a generals daughter and next day ended up in the trauma ward. My opinion to you would be to teach in all women college after you get married. Better stay home, it a ‘jungle out there.’Recommend

  • Rowen joseph (India)

    It’s sad that woman in south asia be it India or Pakistan have to put up with such chauvinistic crap which is due to male insecurity and fractured culture prevailing in society. I think such men should be handcuffed to lampposts than illegally confining their woman as prisoners in their own homes? As men, if we really believe in gender equality as men we should not only give woman their rights but also the freedom to exercise these rights as equals, after all a nation progress is determined on how we treat our woman. freedom and rights for any woman be it Indian or Pakistani is as important as her dignity. Recommend

  • Gerome

    You can find an online job that would allow you to work from home.use the following link for starters.https://m.freelancer.com.

    You can also poison your brother’s food and pretend to not know how he died.

    Stop ranting and start living!!Recommend

  • Faulitics

    I think your brother is jealous that you have more money making potential than him and doesn’t want you to bring home more money than he does. That situation would lead to him loosing power at home. Woman’s financial independence is a threat to insecure males.Recommend

  • Ali

    Stand up for your rights…if you really want something you do everything to get it!
    If not then try online earning, try freelancer.com and hundreds of other websites :)Recommend

  • Ali S

    Get the job of your dreams, move out in an apartment and let your mother come with you if she wants to. Nothing shuts up patriarchal control freaks like a financially independent woman.

    Oh, and then get as far away from your brother as you can – people with such a backward mentality are known to be vengeful. Sure, you’ll cut some family ties in the process – but it’s either you following your own heart and mind or being the prisoner to someone else’s warped views on life. Make the right choice.Recommend

  • ab1990

    In india muslim women are so independent that one engineering student girl was caught trying to join isis.Recommend

  • Dishum

    You won’t progress by merely wringing your hands and playing a victim. If change in our societies was so easy, then we would not have been regressive in the first place. You have to take a firm stand against your younger brother’s paternalistic attitude. He may be insecure with your success.

    I sympathize with you but quit being a doormat.Recommend

  • bill

    This is sad. As a man I condemn such male chauvinism.Recommend

  • Shakir Lakhani

    Very fishy. Which organisation would offer Rs. 40,000-60,000 to someone without any experience?Recommend

  • Parvez

    Simple answer…….stand up for your own self and convince your brother that he is wrong. @Supriya Arcot has made an excellent suggestion in her comment….act on it.
    Life is a struggle, don’t give up so easily……..Good luck.Recommend

  • Sanjay R.

    The blame game has to stop. You endure only what you put up with. Keep trying to convince your family or move out/get married. Take a stand for yourself and others like you. If you have the time and energy to write this, you have the time and energy to change your life. Believe me, I know. I know people in the exact situation who remained firm and took charge of their lives instead of giving into others and then blaming them. good luck.Recommend

  • Caltech

    I sympathize with you but I find it hard to believe you were offered Rs.40,000-60,000 as a starting pay check, I know men that have over a decade of experience in IT both abroad and in Pakistan and have degrees from America, they work in some of the most intense fields such as systems analysts, yet even then despite working for the biggest corporations in Pakistan they don’t make anymore than Rs.40,000-75,000 a month, at the most they’ll make Rs.150,000, but that’s only if they have ‘sifarish’.Recommend

  • NZEE

    The cage is always open , only courage will give you wings.. search for some from home IT related work .. don’t waste your lifeRecommend

  • I am surprised you didn’t anticipate such objections from your family. That said, don’t discredit or dismiss your education; it’ll always be an asset even if you are not working at the moment. Also, it’s important to negotiate this carefully so your relationship with your family is not irreversibly damaged.

    In the short term, I think you should definitely try to work from home on the internet. That’s particularly possible in your area of expertise. In the medium term, in dialogue with your family, perhaps you can work with a prospective employer to find a situation that’ll be more workable for you? Like pick and drop service, or the ability to work part time from, or inability to stay at the office too late. Many employers in Pakistan make such allowances for female employees, particularly if they value their skills. You can definitely make yourself more valuable if you can get a couple substantive projects under your belt from home. In the long run, try to marry the right kind of guy!Recommend

  • UzairH

    Her brother would be right if we were living in the iron age, where women were considered property of men.

    In today’s more enlightened world, where slavery and pedophilia are illegal and immoral, stopping women from working because of flimsy male “honor” is not right, its moronic.Recommend

  • Teesra Haath

    ET mods, seriously, what’s your criteria of not letting a post through? I didn’t use one single offensive word/term in my short paragraph, which you guys somehow saw as not being fit enough to be posted. Sometimes I wonder why do I even bother using my brain cells to come up with an original answer to various blogs…Recommend

  • SH

    Many families want to educate their girls merely to fulfil the responsibility of educating them or to find better suitors in the future or to brag about their daughters being educated. They aren’t allowed to utilise the knowledge they gain later. That degree is basically a decoration for these families; “oh yeah my daughter/sister/wife is an engineer!”Recommend

  • Salman Aslam

    Give freelancing a try. You will earn much more than 60k and good news is, you can do it by staying at home. Let me know if you need help with it.Recommend

  • Salman Aslam

    Maybe she got scholarship or something.Recommend

  • abhi

    The only solution is to stand up for your self. You need to make sure that your education is not wasted. Taking first step is harder but after taking the first step things will fall in place.Recommend

  • Asad

    Someone has to break these chains… Bismillah karain..Recommend

  • @arhaziz

    Why don’t my parents give my opinions more thought than my sister’s? Just kidding :p Serious and sad issue.Recommend

  • eskay

    i hate to admit it but i have witnessed ‘women’ discouraging other girls/ women to work. Despite the reasons, i believe that decisions regarding work are matters of ones personal life. the right does not belong to anyone else but the person himself. As for our men, i have lost all hopes of change in them. this is just something in built in our society, our system. if anyone can change these men, its their mothers who i blame equally for raising such individuals.Recommend

  • Moiz Omar

    Are you serious?Recommend

  • Moiz Omar

    Why listen to your brother? If you want to work, work! It is your right.Recommend

  • Parvez

    I did comment but the Express Tribune site is just not upto scratch, especially after the girl who looked after it went away to Canada……..and thats a shame because it is a forum where ideas are exchanged and people learn.Recommend

  • Sid

    Feel you sister. Helplessly can;t do much but wish that situations of many like you in our sub continent change. You girls do deserve freedom to walk your own destiny.Recommend

  • Sid

    @Zain – Seriously ? Are you totally unaware of the fact of “trophy padhee likhee bahu” ? For many would be mother in laws the bahu with degree is the matter of show off to other shallow members of their tea group.Recommend

  • Nobody

    On what planet is her irrational, insecure and sexist LITTLE brother right? What rubbish. It’s amazing the excuses men will come up to shackle women indoors. Agar halaat sach much itney kharab hain then why not let his adult sister decide for herself whether she chooses to put herself in danger (danger that men are also facing everyday in Pakistan considering terrorists thieves and murderers do not discriminate). No adult woman needs her LITTLE brother to tell her what to do in life.

  • Nobody

    Worst advice ever. -_-
    If someone were imprisoning you, would you ‘not make an issue out of it?’
    Pakistani culture needs to stop telling women to sit quietly and take crap from people. And telling a woman to go from one prison to another (her husband’s) is so counter productive. A) As if Pakistani husbands are known for being so open minded and respectful to their wives? B) She’s an educated adult who WANTS to be self sufficient. How sad that she has to rely on a man or his ‘permission’ to do what she wants in her life.

  • Nobody

    Counterproductive and outdated advice. Maybe the jungle needs a bit of taming and since, ‘loosely’ according to you, men are not capable of doing so, integrate women into mainstream society to bring a bit of balance.

  • Faisal

    How come your brother allowed you to write this blog?Recommend

  • Joe

    Please go to elance.com and try to work there as freelance. It may be tough for you to get a job. At least, better than nothing. And, your brother wouldn’t know what you are doing at home. As long as you stay home, he is happy, I assume. This is Win-Win situation. Hope that my advise will not cause any bigger problems between you and your idiot brother. Just be careful not to get caught by your brother.Recommend

  • Moiz Omar

    Agreed. Every person has the right to decided how to live their own life.Recommend

  • Moiz Omar

    Why is that the only solution to the problem? Why not instead try to empower women and tell men that they have no right to discriminate and be sexist.Recommend

  • Hamza

    Why don’t you just simply slap some sense into him? You’re older,right? Kick his rear!
    If you’re getting offers for that much starting salaries then just simply get the job and live independently. Yes, it’s going to be difficult at first but you have to brave that for your rights.
    Your misogynist brother certainly won’t hand you your rights on a platter. So fight for them!
    His behavior is unbelievable and lacks any sense. Maybe he’s just insecure about you earning more than him. I, for one, would never tell my sister what to do with her life simply because I have no right to.
    The only thing a brother should do with his sister is look after her, protect her and give advice. And there’s a hell of a lot of difference between giving advice and controlling her life.Recommend

  • Anon

    It’s HER FAULT? Oh yeah, I’m sure her brother has no fault in his own actions. I’m sure there’s noooothing stopping her from standing up for herself. I’m sure that women aren’t attacked and killed by family members all the time for not listening and staying in their place.Recommend

  • Sane

    In India how many Hindu women were caught joining RSS?Recommend

  • Lol ..

    I haven’t seen hindu women who’re in rss,but even if there are, I’m sure none of them will want to behead foreign journalists or aid workers.Recommend

  • Sane

    RSS people do not behead, but burn Muslims alive? By the way who kills Christians and rape touring foreigner women in India? Speak up truth only. No propaganda please….now, people know.Recommend

  • Sane

    Moderator: You let Indian trolls to speak, but if responded you omit it. What a supportive policy to spread hate by Indians.Recommend

  • ab1990

    please give evidence for your words. Without evidence dont type.

    In india christians have been caught many times for forceful conversions. Not only that many christians dont respect hindus or hinduism here.

    Many christians organisations are using foreign funded money to convert people here.Those who dont live in india assume christians to be saints. But they are not.Recommend

  • ab1990

    rss is not a terrorist organisation. Not a single government around the world sees rss as a terrorist organisation.Recommend

  • Sane

    You explained the reason why Christians are killed. Would you also enlighten us about the reason of killing other minority religions.Recommend

  • Bigoted much ?

    What a hateful comment.Forcible ? I don’t think thats common.Forcible conversion has no meaning in that particular religion.You’re completely wrong. They may not be saints,but they do contribute a lot to the community via schools, hospitals & charity work. And if people want to listen to some preacher,understand a philosophy & convert voluntarily- our country protects the rights of such citizens. No one has a problem as long as the preachers,followers and converts are peaceful citizens who are law abiding.No matter what violence they have faced-there have been no christian militants.They still serve the communities they live in.Recommend

  • Bigoted much ?

    Sure,it’s not a terrorist organization,but its an anti-secular group in a Secular country.Recommend

  • Nb

    But you’re a saint,right ? You do a lot of work with the poor,right ? More than them ? I can’t stand people like you,who will even criticize people like mother teresa,but won’t go and touch lepers or pull out children and old abandoned people from the smelly gutters of calcutta.Have you tried bandaging an abandoned female infant,eaten by rats in the gutter ?Recommend

  • ab1990

    Many muslims have been caught in terrorism. Just recently political leader’s house was caught with bombs inside . you can google if u want.Recommend

  • ab1990

    hitchens exposed mother teresa as a fraudster. Please google.

    If u are talking about charity there are so many hindu charities working here that you wont have fingers to count.Recommend

  • Nb

    Why will anyone have fingers left to count? They are a majority compared to any others,whether parsi,jew,buddhist or jain. And I did not compare any charity- you are implying that hindu charity is superior to all others ? So be it-stone all christian missionaries and their minority followers-according to you,they deserve to be killed.How do you pose here as a person from a secular democratic country passing judgement on non-secular Pakistanis ?Recommend

  • Nb

    The Constitution of India protects all citizens rights to follow or choose whatever they want to believe in (or be atheist ) An Indian can follow whatever tickles their fancy as long as they are law-abiding-that’s what being an Indian means.If tomorrow,someone teaches me Shintoism and I chose to follow that-you are no one to have a problem with it,savvy ?Recommend

  • Nb

    Yeah it’s the great humanitarian organization that assassinated Mahatma Gandhi for being too pro-muslim. ( but according to you ,maybe Bapu was also a fraud )Recommend

  • Nb

    Lol hitchens…you google for Bin Laden being alive-you will find evidence of him,not only being alive,but recruiting as well. You believe that ?! You can find evidence of any rubbish online-people still say that Neil Armstrong did not walk on the moon- you please google that also. Enjoy.Recommend

  • Heh ?

    So that,justifies violence against minorities ? For the bomb found in the tmc fellows house-does it make sense to discriminate against all Bengali’s & start killing them ? No. So,it equally makes no sense to discriminate against all muslims,because some are caught in terrorism related activities. Learn to look at people as Indian citizens ,rather than,by whom they pray to. Any criminal can’t be punished by countrywide violence against his entire caste or religion-it makes as much sense as killing the massacre of 3000 innocent Sikhs in Delhi,because Indira Gandhi was assassinated by a chap who happened to sport a Sikh turban.The criminals murdering Sikhs en masse,never thought that they were killing Indian citizens or that those poor men, had nothing to do with the assassination.Recommend

  • Lol…

    True, there have been many crimes & atrocities committed by vhp,sangh parivar,bajrang dal,shiv sena & other hindutva extremists against muslim & christian minorities,like burning graham staines,killing priests,raping 4 nuns in Jhabua in 1998,planting hindu idols in churches etc.

  • Indian

    What do you mean by ‘caught’ ? They do everything openly,there is nothing illegal in what they do,by Indian law.
    What do you mean by ‘foreign funding’ ? So? Westerners may donate money.Why are you spinning conspiracy theories as if funds are for weapons,radicalization and anti-national activity. Did you think the govt.was paying them free cash of indian tax payers money for their charity work ? Don’t hate so much.Recommend

  • Indian

    Why are you using terms like’foreign funded’,as if to imply some conspiracy theory.It is all done Openly & allowed by Indian laws &( it’s common for westerners to donate money for the poor in developing & third world countries ).You thought the govt.was funding their charities? Those people use the funds for peaceful work,not for anti-national work,bomb-making etc.I have randomly attended services & found them praying for country & leaders on special days.They are patriotic people who love the country.Don’t hate so much.It’s shameful.Recommend

  • Indian

    You know how many of them,patriotically join the armed forces,airforce & navy.What have you done for your country ? Pls look up,martyred,Wing Commander Darryl Castelino & whom he was rescuing when he became shaheed.Recommend

  • Jamor

    The West Bengal Govt did not regard Mother Teresa as a fake.She was accorded a state funeral from a communist Govt.Would they have done that if she was a fake.Hitchens accused Mother Teresa of taking money from a S. American dictator.The years that she spent in Calcutta is enough proof for usRecommend

  • Jamor

    This is a common ploy by the RSS to stir up Hindus..Christians are accused of mass conversion,through foreign funded NGO.Their cry is that Hinduism is in danger and Muslim & Christian population will be more than Hindus.The judge who did not give the death sentence to Dara Singh ,the murderer of Graham Staines and his two children,because in his opinion,it was not the rarest of rare cases is now elevated to the Supreme Court.Burning to death and innocent man and his two small children does not qualify for the death sentence as the judge is a noted Hindu sympathiserRecommend

  • Jamor

    So were the Malegaon blast accused.Sadavi and the Purohit are sitting in jail for the moment.With the Modi govt in power ,we can expect them to be declared innocent and set free.Bombs were also found in RSS people house.By your logic we should declare RSS as terrorists and kill themRecommend

  • ab1990

    without rss india would become syria or iraq. RSS is a protector of hindus. RSS is a terrorist organisation only for anti nationals who dont respect hinduism or hindus.Recommend

  • Fact

    You need to discern,the difference between Patriotism/nationalism & religious fundamentalism. Being a saffron bigot is not the same as being an Indian patriot. You do know that there are Indian nationals who are Jews,Buddhists,Jains,Sikhs,christian,shia,Parsi,Bahai,Atheist,Agnostic etc. Being anti-rss doesnt make an Indian citizen an anti-national. Being anti-constitutional makes you anti-national. And the Indian constitution is secular. You are confused between hinduism & indianness like some pakistanis seem confused between being Islamic & being pakistani patriots.Recommend

  • ab1990

    “Patriotism/nationalism & religious fundamentalism” RSS are probably the most patriotic people in india. As far as religious fundamentalism is concerrned I dont care what rss do to people belonging to the two world’s largest religions especially. They live or die I dont care.Recommend

  • Fact

    Spoken like a true bigot.
    1.People who hate/kill their own countrymen can’t be called patriots.
    2. Anti-Constitutional persons can’t call themselves patriots.
    3. Anti-Constitutional people are Anti-national.
    What you have said against Indian citizens based on their religion,is as bad as the pakistanis who kill other pakistani’s based on religion.
    But they are not a secular democracy- we are. How do you call yourself a patriot,if you are repulsively against, Indian nationals on the basis of religion (the worst bigotry) & against the very Constitution of our great secular country ( & go by false anti-national & anti-constitutional definitions of hinduism = Indianness ) ?
    So much hate,brother ? Very sad to see such a mentality.Recommend

  • Thinker

    Sir,you say ,’rss is the protector of hindus’.
    My understanding is- Actually what happened in Syria & Iraq was because of communal tension between different communal sects. There were sects of muslims who felt aggrieved because of unfair govt.policies against them ( powerful govt.offices were held by a different sect of muslims)-these lead to feelings of isolation & not being part of the fabric of the country. This feeling of injustice in people ( with iraqi against iraqi ),was what became fertile ground for the isis to invade & find grassroots support among the aggrieved population -thats why isis spread like lightning.
    In india & bangladesh-al qaeda doesn’t find much support among the citizens.But if ( in the same manner as iraq ) Hindutva groups isolate & keep minorities afraid,with riots, violence & anti-minority statements by bjp mlas,then people will have a sense of injustice & groups like al-qaeda will slowly find support & spread like cancer in india. So hindutva groups actually do more harm to hindus in india (by turning indian against indian) The more saffron radicalization there is, the more minorities get isolated & afraid & the more opportunity,foreign jihadi groups,get to take root in India- just like Iraq/Syria.
    So,unity among Indians is very important,so that no outsider can take an unfair chance here. There is a saying in hindi,about the (al-qaeda) being the silent spectator,who became an opportunistic winner in a quarrel between two cats (indian hindus & indian muslims)Recommend

  • Someone

    ab1990 must be related to Godse. From his support for the rss,I’m able to understand the mentality of the non-secular bigoted hindutva people who were ready to kill Mahatma Gandhi for their false ‘patriotism’,which is actually true ‘communalism’,that is disguised as ‘patriotism’ & ‘protection’ of indian ‘culture’.Recommend

  • Someone

    Using charity as an external front is a common popularity-cum-validation ploy by organizations (like rss), that covertly support violence against minorities. If charitable activity whitewashes the Rss then,ab1990 should be a fan of charitable organizations like JuD, LeT & Hafiz Sayid that fund mujahideen violence too.Recommend

  • Qaisar Orakzai


    This is coming from a senior technologist so please read it and try to understand it too. But before I am being judged for being male apologist , let me say that your brother is living in a box, you can kick him out by standing for your rights and shaking his swollen brain. Here is some advice , if you are really looking for.

    1. Knowing the market deep inside out, there is no place in Pakistan which will hire you for 40k to 60k as a fresh tech grade,no matter how good your GPA is but once you are on job, you can land on such money as quick as with in one year, provided that you are doing your job really good.

    2. Claiming for being technologically qualified girl, having access to internet and then complaining about being bound- doesn’t make sense. Spend some time and you can find hundreds of opportunities of working from home (provided that you are good in what you are claiming) – in fact, far better money is made online than going out and working in a software house. I know a kid making handsome money by simply designing stuff for people.

    3. You stayed two years at home, this was your own mistake, you could have convinced your brother for something different – e.g. working in CS department of a school or collage- but you lost it to his nonsense, nevertheless, its never late. You can still do something like that.

    4. There are plenty of academic research opportunities out there, why dont you continue with your online MS, its not necessary that your future husband will turn out to be a jerk as your brother is ! you can use your good credentials later in your life.just don’t stop learning.

    5. Stop restricting your vision to the circumstances you are living in, I agree that you might be really challenged but then you have a life to live and things are bound to change, only if you try changing them.

    6. One last thing – and please remember it ! Dont raise your boy the way your brother is – Teach him that a girl can stay as much respectful when she works as she is at home. Its you who is gonna change the society, dont expect it from males and I hope you dont forget it once you are out of this stress :)

    Good luck..Recommend

  • Dr.G

    Yeah..justice p.Sathasivam & b.s. Chauhan..if I remember correctly.They said that dara singh was trying to ‘teach staines a lesson’.There was an out cry at such cruel.non-secular,hindutva remarks of the judges, by editors,civil society members etc. and the statements made by the judges had to be expunged from the record after 4 days-a very rare event.
    Now the bjp govt. has controversially,rewarded retd.sathasivam with a plum post retirement gig -as governor of kerala (a non-bjp state)Recommend