My secret admirer

Published: October 25, 2014
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His suspicions arose the same way mine did, there was no sender name on it and the package contained an expensive women’s perfume!

The doorbell rang. It was 2pm and I was preparing food for lunch. It was almost time for my 15-year-old son, Omar, to come back from school. Wiping away sweat from my forehead with my left sleeve, I rushed towards the entrance. But there was nobody there; just a small package tied with a red ribbon-flower.

I was shocked for a second. It wasn’t any special occasion that I could recall neither was it anyone’s birthday at home or any sort of anniversary. I picked it up. It had my name written on it but the box had no name of the sender. Amazed, I came inside, holding it tightly in my hands and put it aside in my bedroom.

Five minutes later, Omar arrived and, in the midst of catering to him and setting the table, I totally forgot to open the gift. I got very busy with my son and his little mischief and so, the whole day passed without me really thinking back to the mysterious gift lying in my room.

In the evening, when my husband came home, the first thing he noticed upon entering our bedroom was the package. His suspicions arose the same way mine did, there was no sender name on it and the package contained an expensive women’s perfume!

He called me to our bedroom and asked:

“Who sent you this present? Such a nice fragrance!”

“I don’t know. There was no name on it.”

“Who could it be? Do you have any idea?”

“No. All my friends are abroad. And with my parents dead, who else might it be? I can’t think of anyone.”

“Very strange!”

Had it been just that one incident, it would have been okay with my husband. But no; that anonymous person kept sending me more gifts – a bouquet, a golden wrist-watch, a bronze purse. Slowly, it began getting on my husband’s nerves.

“Who the hell in this world is sending you these expensive presents?”

“I already told you a zillion times, I don’t know. Why don’t you believe me?”

“I’ve got a feeling you have some sort of a secret admirer and are refusing to tell me about it.”

“What rubbish! You do recall that we married because we are in love, right?”

“Yes, but…”

“You’re just being insecure, dear. I’m just as curious about these as you are, but I promise, I don’t know who is sending them.”

“You’re lying. How is it possible that someone sends you gifts and you don’t even have a hunch?”

Then, out of nowhere, my husband slapped me in the face – this was the first time in my life that I had experienced such an assault. It shook me to my core.

I was utterly dumbfounded. My ever-so-loving, kind and gentlemanly husband had turned into a wild beast. I couldn’t bear the pain. It wasn’t my fault that I was getting those gifts. I started crying but my husband turned his back on me in anger.

At that moment, my son came into our room, a bit hesitant.

“Daddy, it was me. I was sending those gifts to Mum.”

“Don’t try defending your mother, Omar.”

“No Daddy, it’s really me. Let me show you all the bills of the gifts I purchased.”

Omar had some papers in his hand. My husband snatched it from him and had a quick look. His expressions changed immediately.

“Mum, I just wanted to tell you that we don’t need birthdays and other stupid occasions to exchange presents. I just wanted to tell you that I love you… I’m sorry, Mum…”

Isma Karim

Isma Karim

An engineering student from NEDUET Karachi. She is an amateur writer/blogger and tweets @IsmaKarim (twitter.com/search?q=IsmaKarim&;src=typd).

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • omer

    A little stupid or what??I mean how can you miss the glaring plot mistake..15yr old finding the money to buy such expensive gifts??lol Recommend

  • Umar

    What kind of stupid story it is. from where the kid is getting that kind of money to buy such expensive stuff Recommend

  • Adil M.

    So you wanted to tell the world that a husband slapped his wife and made a story around it… and why on earth did the kid not send gifts to his father… and where did he get the money from… needs improvement!!Recommend

  • Rida Umer

    What exactly did I just read?Recommend

  • Anique

    Research have shown man get more abused by their partners than woman do. But no one would write a story on that.Recommend

  • Supriya Arcot

    Golden wrist watch wow .Err why did Omar keep quite all these days when his pa was shouting at his ma ?Recommend

  • Maryam Qasim

    Does not make any sense at all. Shocked that tribune posts such stories as well.Recommend

  • Qasim

    I’ am not buying this 15yr old school going kid buying expensive gifts ? Seriously I mean I was the Kid I would rather goto my mom directly and gift something that she likes and there will be no better feeling but to see the joy on her face…Recommend

  • sheikh-chilli

    ..afterall it was father’s credit card which was used to foot the bill .Recommend

  • Quratulann shakoor Shahid

    shocked at tribune post am sending tribune sensible post but they wont except but other websites excepted it….. now i realised they except this kind of rubbish plots …..Recommend

  • Asad Memon

    I would have slapped young Omar then and asked about the origin of money.Recommend

  • Hamid Latif Randhawa

    Haha i have not read such a crappy story in my entire life before lol Recommend

  • Ansari

    The standard of ET…RIP!!!Recommend

  • ovais

    This is the level of blogging at ET .. KudosRecommend

  • Parvez

    To write an effective short story is very, very hard……but at least you tried.
    Gentle suggestion : to write well you must read a lot and read all sorts of stuff so that it broadens your horizon. Most of all ……keep writing.Recommend

  • Ghostrider

    they got bigger problems to deal with…their 15yr old son has the money to buy expensive gifts and they dont even know it??? so much for responsible parentingRecommend

  • Shoaib

    So, Omar, a 15 year old, had the money to buy a gold wrist watch, an expensive perfume, bronze purse; and above all, never mentioned the gifts were by him or showed any excitement or nervousness or asked his dear mom to open up the gifts before (a trait commonly witnessed in teens) ?

    Apart from the storyline mistakes above..totally get your *man beating woman* gender stereotype that you’re trying to portray.

    Just as always.. disappointed that this so called blog would post such a thing. Its a disgrace to the Tribune name.Recommend

  • Noveed Hussain

    It is a good story which have a cool lesson of respecting the parents. Keep it up :)Recommend

  • Faraz Khan

    Is that an article published in tribune ?Recommend

  • Shehr Yar

    i got the central idea but thr are some loop holes in the plot, overall a good effort.Recommend

  • Shehr Yar

    She is an amateur writer…so atleast u can appreciate her efforts…she is only in the engineering college.Recommend

  • Hoshang Ansari

    The little 15 year old punk destroyed his parents marriage? In a way.
    When a man slaps his wife hard,..he just crossed an unmarked line.
    There is no return from this. No amount of apologizing can will make
    it right.Recommend

  • Vikrant

    He should then have slapped Omar even harder … for a 15 year old school boy to be able to afford such “expensive gifts” clearly he must be doing something on the wrong side of the law!Recommend

  • Absar Khan

    Her profile says that she is an amateur writer. We should rather encourage her to write more so she could improve only if all of you think she hasn’t written well.

    Keep writing, Isma. Your last poem was good!Recommend

  • Oedipal much?Recommend

  • Arshad Mengal

    the story was like lolly hood movies in which the end is always unknown, such kind of rubbish story?, i am astonished too on Tribune that how can give place such type of stupid stories on paper? very very badRecommend

  • Waqas Ghazanfar

    & the kid use to sellto earn money for all those expensive gifts,,, what a stupid story lol :DRecommend

  • usman

    how omar get these expensive gift to his mum ???Recommend

  • Marriam

    yeah.. its real.. recently I watched sumthing like this happening in a family.. bt the sender was found to be one of the close relatives on the husband side who wanted to create confusion in husband wife relation.. a little confusion can destroy a beautiful relation we must be conscious..!!Recommend

  • Riz

    by the way from where money was coming to buy gifts ?Recommend

  • Shumaila

    I’m guessing the writer was focusing on writing a fictional movie plot. I’d pass it as a draft though. It’s a bit rough to be called an article. Also, the placement of a young child sending expensive gifts to his mother needs a bit more back story in order to make the article as a whole sensible . I’m sorry but I’m trying to give constructive criticism.Recommend

  • Samar Anees

    first of all this woman with a 15 year old needs counseling if she believes they “were” happily married because the husband was obviously getting back at her for being a bad cook or maybe something else. i mean why would he slap her if she has denied knowing the “secret admirer” who actually gave me a feeling was the husbands extramarital affair trying to mess things up, BUT turns out the 15 year old is selling drugs or something because this dude’s rolling like a boss with golden watches and what not.Recommend

  • salman naeem

    Not a good story. Reality looks nearly 60%. Where Omer got money for these expensive gifts. And why he told after too long time. This issue was discussing from a long timeRecommend

  • umair qureshi

    dont mean to discourage but its a very poorly written story.Recommend

  • Amir Ali

    Good Idea to make simple normal day into a special occasion a surprise gift.Recommend

  • Muhammad Umair Nizam

    Roflmao. Some…body…stop..me.. rofl.. death of blogs.Recommend

  • Uzair.R

    Lets forget for a moment who ever was the sender but the onus came on the partner, who was receiving the gift, to get other into confidence of her/his non involvement by whatever means. Recommend

  • Adnan Ali

    Now that is something very strange. Golden wrist watch? whoaaaa that kid must be Richie richRecommend

  • Muawiyah

    another attempt to portray all the men (even the accepted gentlemen / educated / caring ) as insecure and beast. lol!!!Recommend

  • Muawiyah

    lol, add me as one of em ;-)Recommend

  • Sunil Shahzad

    great point umar,, infact the boy was also named umar :) isnt it a co-incident :DRecommend

  • Sunil Shahzad

    Greatest dumb work i ever read…. Such a rubbish story, i dont know why Tribune let it be in their blog…Recommend

  • Khan

    Childish thoughts revealed by a childish story!Recommend

  • Muhammad Hammad

    Isma Karim you story doesnt make sense at all ..Recommend

  • Khaliq Nasar

    we should have to appreciate the writer’s effort. We have the guts to write but we don’t as we are always in search of an opportunity to make negative criticism on others who even dare to write something. Keep it up! Practice and criticism will make u even more perfect. U must be thankful to tribune too.Recommend

  • Shahab khan

    “Honey! Who’s sending these expensive gifts, the gold watch that I cant even afford?”
    “Nobody! Our 15 year old”Recommend

  • anonym

    what rubbish???Recommend

  • Usman

    hahaha the article should be taken off from express tribuneRecommend

  • Abuzar Jamil

    I just read the most disgusting thing of my whole life.Recommend

  • Ali Kamran

    In my view.. the climax was totally stupid.. Gifting your Mom and showing your love is ok.. but at the expense of creating tension and weakening trust between husband and wife..?..Recommend

  • Adeel

    What’s the whole point ? To show women, in general, as a victim. What if the kid had been sending the gifts to his father ? Wouldn’t the wife be asking her husband about that ? – Seems like a thoughtless piece !Recommend

  • Siddiqui

    Since when did tribune start posting such rubbish,Recommend

  • Faizan Arif

    Stupid! pathetic! Lame! Time wasted!Recommend

  • Usama Khan

    Would somebody tell me what happened next?Recommend

  • Usama

    Seriously? I mean seriously? Stop torturing people!! Such a waste!!Recommend

  • Hassan Imtiaz

    What did the kid do? Sell drugs ?Recommend

  • Sami

    Rubbish is the word invented for such piecesRecommend

  • MDM

    Err? WHY!Recommend

  • Fatima

    Doesn’t add up as in where a 15yr old got that much money from ? and pretty much one sided. Have you never seen women going all crazy jealous ?Recommend

  • Me

    What rubbish Recommend

  • A

    What did I just read? Please don’t waste peoples time. I don’t mean to be harsh but sadly this was a waste of time. There is nothing wrong with your writing skills, but there’s nothing concrete to this story. How is stuff like this even approved to be published?Recommend

  • Furqan Khan Khattak

    Tribune needs a serious analysis of content people blog. Like seriously? i didnt expect such rubbish being posted here on your so called esteemed NewsLink. Mistakes in these kind of exaggerating blogs. At first blog needs to define as to from where did child muster such huge sums to buy expensive perfumes and gold watches. Secondly, Watching their parents fighting must have been very shocking for me atleast, any normal kid would eb upset, then why did he kept mum over his mouth and dint spoke the truth?Recommend

  • Hasan

    Omer must declare his assets – FBRRecommend

  • Jawad

    stupid story with no plot…Recommend

  • Muhammad Shaheryar Asif

    Was that you o.O :pRecommend

  • Prashant

    Rida, read her profile, she is an amateur writer and needs to be forgiven for not making much sense and hope for a better one the next time.Recommend

  • http://www.onlinecouponisland.com Mehak Hussain

    its already written shes an amateur writer.. it was a short intro and instead of being so harsh you could have motivated her to diversify , research and then write..she needs to experience.. such a world of ignorant ppl we have..Recommend

  • Prashant

    “Err why did Omar keep quite all these days when his pa was shouting at his ma ?”

    Because the author did not want him to come any before and stop her from writing this story.Recommend

  • IK

    This is a lol moment !Recommend

  • Prashant

    Maryam, there are far more shocking stories covered by Tribune and the reason being they are true stories, I would like to believe this was fiction for a change.Recommend

  • doesnt mattter

    research you did in your mind?Recommend

  • Sane

    Note that this is under poetic license. In what world you live that a 15 year old can’t have money to buy gifts. The focus is more towards a typical man psyche that they always find a way to abuse their wives due to one pretext or the other. Even the educated ones have this kind of mental sickness.

    However, this is a good write.Recommend

  • Yazdani

    Our social system basically make a man to dictate women either wife, mother, daughter. Education as I take teaches to behave in a noble manner with people around you. Otherwise this is …….Recommend

  • Sane

    Next is ……You read and posted a comment.Recommend

  • Muhammad Zohaib Zahid

    What a rubbish story. How the hell a 15 yr old boy got a golden watch? Lol. Imaginary stories.Recommend

  • Zia Saleem

    I agree that the writer is an amateur. But what about the ET team? how you can publish this? you’d be better off giving these amateur writers some writing tips instead of leaving them here to be made fun of.Recommend

  • Omarfarooq

    why you are being immensely focused on making it refutable or a such an amateur writing by an amateur writer. please be honest to get some lesson from this story irrespective of diagnosing that either it is a fiction or a reality.Recommend

  • Omarfarooq

    absolutely right argument, you have given against the words…15 years old child don’t have enough money to purchase such an expensive gifts.Recommend

  • umar

    rubish piece (sorry to say that)Recommend

  • Parvez

    The writer tried to convey a certain message about trust between a husband and wife and how fragile it can be, if it’s not genuine etc, etc……….the way she packaged it was ‘ bad ‘ but did it warrant the downright harsh treatment it got……NO, IT DID NOT.Recommend

  • Sane

    There is a difference between Golden watch and Gold watch. Better energize your grasping.Recommend

  • http://fb.com/malikarzish Malik Arzish Hussain

    Awesome story. Keep it up. Prolific example of mistrust.Recommend

  • Dr. Munazza Khoso

    where did he got money , to buy such an expensive presents and wrapping?Recommend

  • Gp65

    As always the chivalrous gentleman. May your tribe increase.Recommend

  • Isma Karim

    Those who’ve been criticizing for writing a piece of gibberish, I thank all of them. Your opinion matters and will help me enhance my writing skills.

    Some issues regarding this article have been raised:
    The age of the kid was questioned. How could a kid buy such expensive gifts? Well, money-saving habit comes in handy. Plus, I never mentioned that all the gifts were branded. There are always first and second (even third) copies available in the market.

    This story reveals how insecure people can be (both men and women) and that we in today’s materialistic world need birthdays, anniversaries and other occasions to exchange tokens of love. The actual message went somewhere behind the yells of the critics. :) Cheers! :)Recommend

  • Fahad Sheikh

    Miss, I am a professional writer and I never say this to kids even but I’m gonna say it to you, pleasr, for the love of books, do not ever write a story again.Recommend

  • Prashant

    I got your point Furqan but what was the purpose of posting a pic of yours?Recommend

  • Prashant

    Munazza if you wanted to mock the lady for writing what she has, you could have been as blunt as the others. Do you really believe she has been slapped by her husband and the gifts were real?Recommend

  • Noman Ansari

    It wasn’t a bad attempt at a short story, but you need to imagine the story in your head to see how it would naturally play out. For example:

    “No. All my friends are abroad. And with my parents dead, who else might it be?”

    That just sounds crass. Maybe you could have found a more subtle attempt at telling the readers her parents had passed away.

    At the very least she would have phrased it differently. “And with my parents dead…” Recommend

  • Muhammad Shaheryar Asif

    don’t mind but it’s the most gibberish thing i ever read on ET … !Recommend

  • Sane

    Very correct you say. People missing the crux and message and yelling unnecessarily. Don’t be discouraged. keep writing.Recommend

  • Sane

    How you became professional writer? Were you born with it? What you say to kids?Recommend

  • Parvez

    The age of chivalry died some time back….. :-)
    The girl deserves to be criticised……but can’t it be done gently ?Recommend

  • Prashant

    There are topics I do not like to read about but I promise I will read if you write again on one of the topics I do not like in general and ET lets it through, keep writing.Recommend

  • Hassan Yaseen

    Pathetic it is!!Recommend

  • Fahad Sheikh

    You become a writer by study, hardwork and practice plus you need a vision, which you are born with or you develop in your early days. My criticism stands because the writer is a grown up and has no vision for creative writing.
    What I say to kids is to imagine, develop, observe the things they see around and think with different perspectives to create and innovate a story, sometimes even a paragraph to become writers. Simply rhyming something or putting a thought to paper is not writing, that is called keeping a journal, which she can do.
    My criticism also holds the point that this story was nowhere near worth publishing to Express Tribune. Writers like us struggle to make a good piece to show to the world and this, sorry to say, crappy story is published. The curators are to be blamed for this too.
    Also, for a writer, demotivation is the best motivation, so getting published early or with an unworthy piece contributes to the downfall of writing not encouragement.Recommend

  • Fahad Sheikh

    You need to accept the fact that you could not deliver the core of the message effectively. Also, if you shun criticism like that, you will never succeed. I was in the same place as you are, my advice to you, read, read, read, and read. You are far far away. And do not get published! Even if someone wants to publish you. Judge your story yourself, show it to friends, family, writers, but privately. Getting published with a bad story will destroy you.

    About the plot, a 15yrs old can still not buy this stuff even if it is a 3rd copy. Adn giving an explanation shows weakness in a story. Don’t make answers for questions raised about your story, let there be no questions at all, that’s how a writer’s mind must work.Recommend

  • Fahad Sheikh

    It was not good. Do not motivate without reason, that kills a writer!
    Be harsh, that helps the writer.Recommend

  • Siddiqui

    Amateur writer all right.Recommend

  • Khankhel_khattak

    i logged on to it 2 years after and watch this lol..it wasnt intentional..Recommend