“I was raped hundreds of times, by the man I was married to”

Published: September 10, 2014
SHARES
Email

It has taken her years to even be able to talk about this. For the longest time, she was exisiting in a zombie-like state of mind. PHOTO: REUTERS

That phase of her life ended three years ago with her divorce, but 35-year-old Naila* will never be healed of what she went through during the nine years of her marriage. This is a true story; the true story of a woman who suffered a plight faced by so many women. Sadly, the crime committed against them is not even considered a crime.

“Every time my husband approached me, it was sheer torture. Sometimes physical, and forever mental and emotional torture. He was physically brutal and wanted me to indulge in behaviour I was not okay with. He never cared about what I wanted or needed. He did not care about whether I was unwell or pregnant or had recently given birth to a child,” says Naila.

It has taken her years to even be able to talk about this. For the longest time, she was existing in a zombie-like state of mind.

While laws to punish perpetrators of rape have seen considerable headway in Pakistan, how does one even begin to talk about an act that is not even seen as something despicable, leave alone a crime? Talking to even educated people makes one realise that most Pakistanis, even women, do not recognise it as something that should even be discussed openly.

Naila tried to talk to her family about her plight many a times,

“They thought something was wrong with me. ‘You have to fulfil his needs. He has a right over you. Besides, your three sons will suffer. Think of them’, is what they’d say every time. So many times, I wanted to say ‘but what about my rights?’ but did not have the courage. When something is packaged in social norms and misunderstood religious ethics, one is conditioned into staying silent even in the face of pain and suffering.”

When asked if Pakistani law recognises marital rape as a crime, Maliha Zia Lari, lawyer and women’s rights activist, explains that earlier the law described rape as a crime committed by a man against a woman other than his wife. Lari says:

“In 2007, the part that said ‘other than his wife’ was removed. That technically means that the statute has changed. However to the best of my knowledge no cases have been reported”.

In her opinion, it all boils down to social bias, stress on women in particular when it comes to conjugal rights, and the fact that marital rape is not even seen as a crime,

“There is so much silence around the issue”.

Naila’s saviours came in the form of some friends who made her realise that religion neither condoned nor allowed a man to be physically cruel to his wife, even when it came to spousal physical rights.

“I began to study and talk about it with people who had knowledge, and realised I was being wronged. I realised that just like I am not allowed to cause harm to others, it is also a sin to allow someone else to harm me. Allowing a man to physically hurt you and treat you like an object with no feelings is not piety,” she says.

The change took long. The process took even longer. The first person who needed to understand that this was wrong was Naila herself. The most difficult part was making the decision, because her husband was not a habitual wife-beater, yet was often violent when it came to the area of physical intimacy. But Naila finally struggled her way out.

According to barrister Asker Husain who practices law in the UK, those from the civil society or human rights’ camps should not be disheartened if social change is not swift.

“In England, marital rape wasn’t recognised as an offence until 1991, and it took a very long time and much effort to change centuries’ old thinking that somehow the act of marriage was tantamount to the woman ‘consenting’ to everything,” says Husain, adding that even in the UK, that there aren’t many marital rape prosecutions.

“There are a number of reasons for this. Sometimes it’s simply because the wife doesn’t want to bring a case against the man she loves and/or is the father of her children, or reasons like economic dependency. It’s also very difficult for the prosecution to establish the absence of consent. But evidential issues are faced in other arenas too and are not unique to marital rape.”

Seeing stories like Naila, one is forced to wonder whether what Bertrand Russell wrote in 1929 in his book ‘Marriage and Morals’ still holds true. Russell had said that,

“Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.”

Whether one gives the act the tag name of ‘marital rape’, or chooses to call it by a milder name to avoid severe reactions from certain quarters, the fact remains that use of force and violence, and lack of consideration of the wife’s feelings is something unacceptable, both religiously and ethically.

Change takes time. For change, all segments of society must be slowly brought on board, including the men. For this, baby steps would have to be taken. And the first step is to break the silence around the issue.

Change may take decades, but the process must start.

*Name and certain details have been changed to protect this person’s identity.

Farahnaz Zahidi

Farahnaz Zahidi

Farahnaz is a writer and editor, and has worked as the Features Editor with The Express Tribune. Her focus is human-centric feature stories. She now writes as a freelancer, and works in the field of marketing and corporate communications. She loves literature and traveling. She tweets on @FarahnazZahidi. Her work can be seen at chaaidaani.wordpress.com/

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • Moiz Omar

    Her “husband” was a selfish man and should be prosecuted for rape. And then given the death penalty.Recommend

  • Wife or sex slave ?

    In a rape,a victim can flee from the rapist after a single assault,loathe him & call him a criminal in feont of society – but in marital rape neither can the woman flee,nor call the assailant a criminal…instead she has to call him ‘husband’,respect in society & submit to him for further rapes…and then play maid & chef for the rapist (& teach her children to respect her rapist )Recommend

  • Wife or sex slave ?

    In a rape,a victim can flee from the rapist after a single assault,loathe him & call him a criminal in front of society – but in marital rape neither can the woman flee,nor call the assailant a criminal…instead she has to call him ‘husband’,respect him in society & submit to him for further rapes…and then play maid & chef for the rapist (& teach her children to respect her rapist )Recommend

  • Noman Ansari

    Read a bit and couldn’t read more. Sickening. Long term solution is to have an educated society where women are empowered.Recommend

  • I am a Khan

    Sad. Pakistani men should be taught morals and how to respect their wives or would be wives. When I worked in Pakistan, many men shared stories of what they did with their wives with other colleagues and everyone laughed at each other’s ‘manliness’. I thought it was disgusting to firstly do such things and then boast about them with colleagues or friends. The religious ulema and the familes should educate Pakistani men. The Holy Prophet (saw) said in his last sermon that men ‘should fear Allah with regards to women and treat them well for you have taken them as your wives only under a trust from Allah and with His permission.’
    .Recommend

  • Rightway14

    why…cant she file for divorce…? You make it sound so helpless…Recommend

  • ahmed

    There should be a law and there should be prosecution how is physical abuse to such an extent not a crime ? But will the law decrease such incidences NO ! what will decrease such incidences is a wide spread change in our thinking as a society. In no way should it become a regular trend after all it is something very serious and destroys the entire fabric of a household ! But still u have to be a very special type of a monster to do something like this in a sacred thing marriage ! so why should any woman tolerate such a monster ? because our society simply percieves divorce as a taboo and a divorced woman as a witch ! until women educate themselves become more independent expect women rights to never get better ! in a male dominated society its next to impossible to envision an independent pakistani woman yes but young women must be encouraged to become independent and education will automatically bring about awareness of their rights !Recommend

  • Ahmed Wahaj

    There should be a law and there should be prosecution how is physical abuse to such an extent not a crime ? But will the law decrease such incidences NO ! what will decrease such incidences is a wide spread change in our thinking as a society. In no way should it become a regular trend after all it is something very serious and destroys the entire fabric of a household ! But still u have to be a very special type of a monster to do something like this in a sacred thing marriage ! so why should any woman tolerate such a monster ? because our society simply percieves divorce as a taboo and a divorced woman as a witch ! until women educate themselves become more independent expect women rights to never get better ! in a male dominated society its next to impossible to envision an independent pakistani woman yes but young women must be encouraged to become independent and education will automatically bring about awareness of their rights !Recommend

  • Carlito

    So spanking is a crime now!
    RIGHT….Recommend

  • Natash Hussain

    men disgust me! thanks to the easy access to porn most men demand porn star treatment from their wives and some even get their way while some start looking outside marriage. But in all other matters they will act all pious and holier than thou that its despicable!Recommend

  • Wife or sex slave ?

    Women who don’t own property or draw salaries large enough to support a household (home loans,school or college fees,medical bills etc.) may stay put and submit life long.Recommend

  • mustafa

    so rape and undesired sex is same ?

    i am not favoring rape, all i am saying is, this topic is very complex and we need to discuss and be fair about it .Recommend

  • It’s worse

    Undesired sex- as you put it- is worse,since the victim lives with the rapist & is the ‘undesired’ event occurs multiple times over decades.
    At least in cases of rape,the woman is free to hate the rapist,but in marital rape,she has to interact with him the next morning & cook him breakfast- what conflicted feelings do these women live with ?Recommend

  • K Alam

    why wait for the hundredth rape? should have left him and lodged a complaint with the police?Recommend

  • an indian

    marital rape is a serious crime, what makes it dangerous is the society and families. victims of these crime, in most of the cases, silently go through these horrific crimes. the main solution to these problems are educating women. we need to see more girls in schools and colleges. women who are educated should see to that crimes such as these are reported and the culprit punished. it is really sad state of affair for kids to know that their father was the culprit and their mother the victim. a nation which provides compulsory and world class education for free, will progress tremendously. enough of investing in arms, war planes, nuclear bombs. let us take a firm step for the betterment of human lives.
    a plea to all the readers education is a must for girls, don’t neglect your daughters, sisters, cousins, mother, wife and god forbid they don’t have to be another article or statistic.Recommend

  • Feroz

    Even in India there was a movement to make Marital Rape a crime but Politicians refused to legislate it into law. It definitely is a crime but even where it is a crime by law, it will be very difficult to get a conviction, since proof has to be beyond reasonable doubt. However physical abuse even by spouse is a crime with marriage providing no protection to the accused.Recommend

  • Married man

    I think you are not married…After first few months,not every couple want to just jump into bed …few days,a calm and peaceful sleep is more wanting than feeding to ur bodily pleasures….

    Besides,I wouldnt want to get pleasure if my wife isnt involved 100%Recommend

  • mustafa

    so people cant have different needs ? and if one partener has bigger desire you can label him/her rapist ?Recommend

  • lmaaz.

    I would just like to point out that while most of the commentators made remarks that came from a surprisngly good place and out of concern for the women of our country, there will always be a problem when we keep insisting that only women need to be educated about their rights outside or within a marriage. It IS absolutely crucial to do that, but when we insist that ONLY women need to be told and taught better, we shift the onus of the crime on to the victim. It makes the victim responsible for her own well-being and safety in situations where they probably cannot defend themselves or find support in their friends and family to do so.
    Point being, we ALSO (first and foremost) need to teach our men to stop acting like animals. Period. Teach your boys not to rape, rather than teaching your girls not to get raped. Recommend

  • lmaaz

    Um, YES it is the same.
    Be fair about it? Are you serious?
    Let’s have you put up with ‘undesired sex’ and we’ll see how long it takes before you want the whips of the law cracking at your RAPISTS (because that’s what people who indulge in ‘undesired sex’ are called) heels.Recommend

  • Ajmirza

    Dont you think that it will be wise for the woman to at least talk to the man and tell him that these actions hurt her and after the last of the efforts fail then take a legal action; because in our society this action raises so many problems. Both men and women need to be more educated, compassionate, towards each other; realizing your other half’s needs is what you should do and fulfill that.Recommend

  • M Malik

    Thats why more than one wife is allowed in Islam. Recommend

  • Sadia Hameed

    agreed eventually her story came to light why wait so long and endured this pain and torture?Recommend

  • Alpha

    Men disgust you and not women?Women just like men also have carnal desires and not all men are misogynists and treat their women like slaves, one can’t generalize all of us

    PS Misandry also exists in our society and a ‘minority'(I’m underballing here) of men also suffer from domestic ‘disturbances’ too.Recommend

  • Alpha

    This isn’t just a “Pakistani” problem, it’s a universal problem -patriarchy and marital rape exists the world over.Recommend

  • sonuthedangerous

    This is why Pakistani couples should have an open discussion before getting married to each other; to ensure they both are on the same page sexually.

    It would result in lower divorces and far less maritial rape.Recommend

  • Red

    Sex without consent is rape. Recommend

  • tungi

    the woman is to be blamed! why did she continue with the relationaship ship if she wasnt into the intimacy part of it! then had three children with himRecommend

  • Mian Hashmi

    This is inside marriage so how come it is rape. Recommend

  • Wife or sex slave ?

    Of course,talking is good- but will the man listen ? If the trauma continues over years,then it means that the man thinks its part of his right to do so & the woman is just whiny or non-compliant & needs to be put in her place.
    Men of previous generations have grown up in atmospheres of patriarchy,where they’ve picked up concepts of how a man is ‘obeyed’ by his wife is seen by how fathers,uncles,grandfathers etc behave with the women in their life. As adults,these men also have archaic exceptations of how their wives must ‘respect’ & ‘obey’,inside the bedroom & outside it too.Recommend

  • Liberate Men

    This is where the biggest plight for men and women both begins. Where a woman wants the comfort of an Eastern life coupled with the rights brought by the West, while not partaking in duties 100% on either side. If you really want marital rape to stop, stop making marriage an institution that looks like a bad deal to a man. Undesired sex in a marriage means a sexless marriage which means no marriage.Recommend

  • It’s worse

    If the sex is forced against the other spouses will -yes.
    About varying needs between married partners-there is a right way to bridge the gap.
    Recommend

  • Jonbon Jovi

    Trivializing something like marital rape with sarcastic troll comments is a very rude and very low.Recommend

  • Jonbon Jovi

    Rape= some one has sex with you when you dont desire it
    Undesired sex= ditto
    Umm, yeah they look same to me, would you care to elaborate where you find the difference between the two?Recommend

  • Jonbon Jovi

    BIGGER DESIRE? did you read the article? He constantly beat her up.
    OFFTOPIC, but even if we throw logic out of the window and hypothetically think about ur comment for a ridiculous second.
    Also, their relationship was of man and wife. He did not own her as a slave, in a marriage BOTH parties take into consideration the others desires.Recommend

  • Lol

    Not if the lady requests it.
    Recommend

  • Indian

    Perfectly put .Completely agree.Recommend

  • Hassan

    Marital Rape…Male responsible
    More than one marriage ..Male responsible
    No Rishta ….Male responsible
    Prostitution…. Male responsible
    Harrasment at work place or any where else…Male responsible..
    Every Evil thing happeing in the world…offcoarse…Male responsible…
    I mean is there any thing where these soooo called Human rights activists can see who is responsible for what..?
    sorry to say…all these problems being faced by women today are because of the western system these so called human rights activists have introduced not because of MAN…..being a muslim male i can say i always take necesary care and measures while dealing with the women…..Recommend

  • AZ

    Thankyou for writing about sucha HUge issue. i sont know what to say, i would just like to add that when a girl is married agaisnt her will by her parents, they are forcing her for life of getting raped by a man her father chose.Recommend

  • Rizwan

    OMG, she is married wid her consent, just leave him, but i think women are in search of finding the soft corner in societyRecommend

  • normskyy

    Please don’t follow western notions of what defines rape. The article is about marital abuse – If justice was done then she could get a divorce from him or have him prosecuted for divorce and get compensation. The punishment for rape if you are married comes under adultery and can be punishable by death. Despite what happened within marriage being abhorrent it is not punishable by death. Yes it is a crime. The two are not the same in Pakistani law. The law isn’t the problem here… How many men are prosecuted when they take part in gang rapes? So by simply wanting to follow the west and call this rape as well won’t make an iota of difference. Why can’t she get divorce? Why is she scared about not having the husband around to financially manage the house when though the law states after divorce he is responsible for their expenditure? Why is he making her indulge in horrific and brutal acts? Had the author not considered the fact pornography which is rife within Pakistan has no doubt resulted in this man and others having skewed views of what a relationship should be? What pleasure should be? The article talks about an important issue but completely missed the point. The issue isn’t with the law and changing it to rape as in the west, but the fact the current laws can’t be implemented correctly and that is a broken social society where men and women have skewed views on pretty much any issue.Recommend

  • Moiz Omar

    Rape is unwanted forced sex. That is what happened here.Recommend

  • Moiz Omar

    It doesn’t matter what your needs are sexually. You cannot force somebody to have sex with you if they don’t want too. Even if you are married with them. If sex is to happen, it is too happen on mutual consent.Recommend

  • Azar

    crap ……Recommend

  • M.Saeed

    It is unfortunate that in 21st century, we still glorify the prehistoric man’s treasure of his women in chains.
    People are unaware of the training of educated girls before marriage imparted by her parents, asking her to diligently and with complete submission to the stated course, study “Bahishti Zaiver” and get herself prepared to follow.
    Recommend

  • M.Saeed

    You are very incorrect !
    More than one wife is allowed in Islam with very strict conditions to fulfill and with a clear warning that we refuse to link for obvious intent of violation.
    The warning says, “You know you cannot meet it” !Recommend

  • It’s worse

    I had written about how an urbane gentleman would bridge the gap-but the ET moderators,in their wisdom have edited my comment,the content of which is probably more appropriate conversation for an Doctor’s office.
    I’ll just say,that a person with greater desire can skillfully persuade,a partner with lesser desire,so that the act is mutual and voluntary-the foundation of a good relationship.Recommend

  • Teesra Haath

    Wow, to blame the poor woman who had to deal with this trauma for God knows how long. Classic case of a misogynist society. She was FORCED to indulge in something she didn’t want in the first place. I think that answers your ‘3 children’ query.Recommend

  • Helloo…

    It doesn’t mean sexless marriage. It means don’t act like animals.Learn the skill to elicit the other partners interest rather than taking the convenient shortcut of using force.Recommend

  • Absolutely right

    Very nicely put.
    Boys also need to be educated to shed our traditional ‘gems’ of patriarchy.Recommend

  • anon

    Mian Hashmi rape is defined as forcing yourself over someone who has not consented. So yes, this is rape.Recommend

  • Farooq

    If there is any such thing as ‘marital-rape’ then there is definitely ‘marital-robbery’ as well.Recommend

  • rebel

    because its non-consensual AND violent.Recommend

  • Hamza Bilal

    this is a social and more of an individual morality issue- It is not a legal matters at all-
    Making it a legal issue will provide another toy in the hands of women right organizations to play aroundRecommend

  • Mirza

    This is exactly the kind of sickening mentality that we are talking about over here. Within the bounds of marriage or without, forced sex is not only immoral and unethical but also horrible crime.Recommend

  • Wife or sex slave ?

    You need to differentiate between adultery & rape.
    The first takes place outside marriage (with consent) & the second takes place inside as well as outside marriage (without consent)
    The issue is of consent here,not illicit relationships.Recommend

  • Just a reader

    Ive been following your articles quite some time now, and I can only appreciate you for speaking about the issues I so deeply care about! To the point and precise, you prove your stance very well! Bravo!Recommend

  • Sara

    crap! all made up storiesRecommend

  • Hamza Bilal

    men should learn to respect the feelings of their spouses and only exercise their conjugal rights with the consent of their partner.Recommend

  • Grammar Police

    Forced sex is rape, marriage or no marriage.Recommend

  • Zubin

    So please help me understand What solution do you have for such issues? Having freedom to choose separation over therapy/counseling? The ” Rights” of women as they call this in west is the right approach.Recommend

  • Hamza Bilal

    men should learn to respect their wives and not treat them as professional womenRecommend

  • Zafar

    People just you need to understand. In Islamic sharia, rape is adultery by force. So long as the woman is his wife, it cannot be termed as rape.Recommend

  • KAKAR

    until and unless women dont speak for themselves patriarchal society would keep in rapping ,discus sting but true we all are rapistsRecommend

  • Hamza Bilal

    social taboos – human society is evolving towards the pinnacle of civilization – once it reaches there, issues like this will cease to arise in discussionsRecommend

  • Hamza Bilal

    read a bit could not bear more – women are ever more oppressed in this societyRecommend

  • Parvez

    Even if this was made up……..it could also very well be true. Why would you so categorically rubbish this without giving a reason ?
    Recommend

  • Hena Khan

    Even if it cannot be termed as rape, brutality from one’s husband is not allowed in Islam. Our own Prophet (p.b.u.h) showed great kindness to his wives. that a man whose wife looks at him with hatred & fear in her eyes will be cursed by the angels till the Day of Judgement! Call it whatever you want, its wrong & should be punishable.Recommend

  • anugrah

    Could not read beyond a point. I believe he same situation exists this side of the border too. Wish something could be done.Recommend

  • Zofeen Ebrahim

    At the end of the article, there is a note which states: The views
    expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not
    necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.I want
    to ask ET, should a liberal newspaper like yours not support the views
    of the writer, in this instance? Is marital rape not a human rights
    violation?Recommend

  • Moiz Omar

    Rape is sex without consent. Doesn’t matter whether you are married or not.Recommend

  • abhi

    I don’t think just divorce is the solution here. There should be some punishment for the violance and brutality done by the husband.Recommend

  • abhi

    Why just leave him? Why the husband should not be punshed for violance?Recommend

  • Sick of this nonsense

    TAKE A DIVORCE.It’s not rape if you are married.Recommend

  • Nadya

    Society in major part, raises a girl to be submissive to the man and his family. In older times, “bahisiti zeewar”, was part of a girl’s dowry. Culture and society TELLS A WOMAN to do as her husband desires, on the same note, fake fatwa molvis have done their share of major damage to women’s rights and their existence. It’s the parents responsibility to raise a SON, who will respect women under society and cultural pressures to be patriarchal. It is also the parents responsibility to take care of their daughters, even after their marriage. On the same note, IF the daughter was educated enough, to support herself and her children, she might have had parted ways. We all have so much to say about what Naila should have done or what she did wrong and so on, stop judging her and be a support system for our girls who go through this form of abuse daily. Think about what we can do to stop it. Think!Recommend

  • Guest

    Yeah, its called ‘dowry’… and again the ‘man’ is to be blamed.Recommend

  • Moiz Omar

    Sex without consent regardless of marriage status is rape.Recommend

  • Moiz Omar

    Why is it any different if the two are married? Sex without consent regardless of whether or not they are married IS rape.Recommend

  • So ?

    Many men think that being married legitimises or validates them, raping their wives.Recommend

  • Guest

    Accessing pornographic content is an outlet for many men who happen to have greater desires than their spouses…. which is to say, almost all men… thanks to biology. And this is still better than use-of-force or infidelity.. or maybe even divorce.Recommend

  • Guest

    Sickening indeed. And while an educated society, and empowered women are essential for the growth of any nation they do not solve the root cause of this issue,

    The western world, whose people are educated and women are empowered, seems be suffering from an epidemic of sexless marriages (having intimacy less than ten times a year) which has been responsible for an increased number of divorces and is disturbing the social fabric of the nation.Recommend

  • noobunreal

    Religion produces zombie-minds.Recommend

  • Pervaiz

    Well this has shocked me….. I don’t have words to actually express my state…. Its really really sad that even after being Muslim we do this to our wives… this is inhuman…. I must say bravo to the writer for picking up such a controversial topic …. hats offRecommend

  • deep blue

    and u think a huband has the right to physically hurt a woman in bed just because they are married?Recommend

  • Married Concerned

    I think there is a point here to be considered. What if a female doesn’t like sex and the husband does should the husband leave her or convince her to have sex since it’s a basic need. He shouldn’t beat her or force her but convince her of sex that’s less desirable for her. I don’t see an issue with that because it’s better than breaking marriage and impacting family, kids, etcRecommend

  • Iftekhar Khokhar

    “The author deserves applause for bringing this topic(otherwise a taboo) under discussion. The contents are quite convincing. In my opinion, most likely the phenomenon may be a common occurrence in the whole world but persisting more frequently in orthodox or patriarchal societies. It may be called “satyriasis” or “Don Juanism” meaning thereby a syndrome in terms of psychiatry whereby a husband considers his wife a zombie-like object. It is a state of mental sickness, therefore, should be treated as such. At mass level, it could only be controlled through moral & ethical uplift of the society; obviously by raising our literacy level.”Recommend

  • http://tabhussain.wordpress.com/ Tabish Hussain

    Superb piece… You highlighted something that needs aesthetic sense and developed conscience. Unfortunately we learn to act like human, and we never understand humanity that the difference which make us socio-animal.

    I appreciate your work regarding this issue and I hope we’ll take this to another level.Recommend

  • lambda

    dont you think open relationships are better!
    after all it is marriage , there are going to be problems , but the fact is that if you guys cant talk then it just sucks!

    the point is , we are all condoning marital rape here which is what i agree with 101% Recommend

  • Bibi Khana
  • Ali

    Thank you for writing on this issue. Men in general and Pakistani men in particular need to understand women are not tools for their gratification.Recommend

  • IBN E ASHFAQ

    The solution for all forms of social injustice is education particularly teamed up with religious education. Pakistan needs to increase investent in education from 2.1% of GDP to 5%. However no democratic or non-democratic government has been doing this. Education coupled with religious education enlightens a person.Recommend

  • AA

    Two points:

    1. This is one side of story. Women are more expressive and shout louder than men who silently bear any unethical behaviors from women. It seems funny to many but this is reality that more than 60% of men are victims of violence in homes, with more or less intensity. A few abnormal stories of women are advertised with much prominence to gain the attention and sympathy which are, of course, non-representative of rest of the culture. On the hand, none of men’s stories come, isn’t unfair…..?

    2. Rape is not an appropriate choice of word. If husband wishes, wife has to accept. But, on the other hand, it is the husband responsibility to take care of his wife. In my opinion, in this situation, women is NOT victim rather the man is guilty. You may disagree but it is the matter of perspective.Recommend

  • Dr. Munazza Khoso

    Indeed, some men treat their wives as prostitute rather than their pride and prestigeRecommend

  • MUHAMMAD KHAN CHOUDHRY

    why husband should be punished,he has the right to f*** his legal wife,who has signed her willingness in the MARRIAGE CONTRACT(nikahanama).if a wife do not want to stay with her husband for any reason,she has the right of DIVORCE,why she is not using her right?
    WHAT NONSENSE THIS ;MARITAL RAPE;termRecommend

  • Shama Haq

    Why did you take so long to get divorce?Recommend

  • Shama Haq

    “raped hundreds of times” is that not an exaggeration. And, if so you became a complicit in this crime by not separating from the rapist and you delayed the divorce for too long. Should not have you taken divorce within a week or so after marriage?Recommend

  • Shama Haq

    Since you claim to have been raped “hundreds of times,” therefore the first “rape” might possibly have occurred before you had any children. That was the most appropriate time to get divorce. I find it hard to believe your story since as an educated, liberated, and professional woman how could you tolerate “rape” for so long? Anyway, it is pretty sickening for us. Forced sex does exist and there are other non-personal ways of agitating the issue.Recommend

  • Sadaf Saleh

    No one have any right to harm any1 even if he is any husband too. If u r not feeling well with his relation u just shld to leav that out Recommend

  • Sunny

    Because sex in married is Halal (Permissible). A Muslim women consent her husband for sex for life time when she accept him as husband in Nikah(wedding ceremony). And in married life Muslim woman is advised have sex with her husband as much as he wants, she is not allowed to refuse her husband without a good reason. But Torture, being rough, considering wife to be an object is separate matter and Islam strictly don’t allow husbands to use this way. There are several narrations available which forbid the complete idea to going rough on wife in any sense. There is very thin line in sex in marriage and marital rape. And believe me these cases are very rare where women suffer marital rape in Islamic society and can’t find a way to get rid of it(like the case in above article). I personally have seen a lot of women around myself as I’m living in Islamic society who know what to do when they got raped by there husbands. Most of times it is a case of husband ignorance. He actually doesn’t know what are the rights of wife.Recommend

  • Sunny

    Because sex in married is Halal (Permissible). A Muslim women consent her husband for sex for life time when she accept him as husband in Nikah(wedding ceremony). And in married life Muslim woman is advised have sex with her husband as much as he wants, she is not allowed to refuse her husband without a good reason. But Torture, being rough, considering wife to be an object is separate matter and Islam strictly don’t allow husbands to use this way. There are several narrations available which forbid the complete idea to going rough on wife in any sense. There is very thin line in sex in marriage and marital rape. And believe me these cases are very rare where women suffer marital rape in Islamic society and can’t find a way to get rid of it(like the case in above article). I personally have seen a lot of women around myself as I’m living in Islamic society who know what to do when they got raped by there husbands. Most of times it is a case of husband ignorance. He actually doesn’t know what are the rights of wife.Recommend