It doesn’t bother me that my husband watches porn, what bothers me is something worse…

Published: May 7, 2014
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To my horror, all his searches involved only men. There was no mention of women anywhere. I secretly prayed that there would be a mention of a woman’s anatomy somewhere, but sadly everything was aimed at gay men.

The story I’m about to narrate is disturbing, but it is important that this story is read by all. If it can help or comfort a person going through a similar situation or provide a reason for someone not to live a life filled with lies, then I consider my job done. Even though it’s much too late for me, for someone out there, this could change their life.

About two months ago, I installed a software on my laptop to monitor my children’s internet activity. This was due to the fact that my children had inadvertently heard a curse word somewhere and then Googled it for its meaning, which in turn produced results with offensive images. I found out when I was casually browsing through my internet history one morning.

They admitted it at once; children are too innocent and unaware of the concept of deleting browser history unlike their adult counterparts. After this incident, I warned my children firmly not to use my computer while I’m not around. I also told them about the software I had installed so they would refrain from doing anything they shouldn’t be doing in the future.

What I hadn’t even considered, not in my wildest dreams, was that I would catch someone else red handed.

And so, I didn’t bother mentioning the incident involving our children to my husband because I knew he would get angry and blame me for ‘being too lenient’ or not ‘disciplining them well enough’. Thus, he didn’t know about the software either; I never felt the need to tell him considering he didn’t use my laptop anyway. Or so I thought…

My husband has a violent temper and has often been abusive. Most of his abuse and anger outbursts have been exclusively aimed at me throughout our rocky marriage. I’ve always felt like he resented me for some reason. He is also extremely secretive and has never allowed me to check his phone messages or use his laptop.

I got married when I was very young and he was a lot older than me; it was an arranged marriage. Despite my best efforts to keep him happy, nothing was ever good enough for my husband and he was often moody and distant. In the past, I often failed to understand what it was about me that ticked him off so much and made him despise me. Many times I even thought of leaving him but, because of my kids, I could never go through with it.

What I had no idea about was that during the late hours of the night, my husband would use my laptop. He hardly ever used my computer when I was around, therefore, I didn’t think he was using it at all!

The next time I checked the browsing history through the software, to my shock and dismay, I discovered that someone had been searching for excessive pornography late at night. Of course, it could only have been my husband because the kids are usually in bed and asleep by 9pm every night. My husband had been watching offensive material in the wee hours of the night for many consecutive nights but truth be told, I know that some men secretly watched porn from time to time so, I was willing to understand and let it go.

But what irked me the most was the kind of porn my husband was indulging in; what he had been watching was exclusively homosexual in nature. To my horror, all his searches involved only men. There was no mention of women anywhere. I secretly prayed that there would be a mention of a woman’s anatomy somewhere, but sadly everything was aimed at gay men. And it wasn’t just one time. It was over the course of the entire month.

All of a sudden everything fell into place and all of it started making sense. How naive was I, how innocent that I had never imagined this as a possibility! Sure, I had wondered sometimes when he would be cold and distant, and avoided me for days, but this just put everything into perspective and cemented my fears.

I thought of confronting him but I was too scared.

How would he react?

What would he do?

What I learnt, during the course of my marriage, was that one thing was very important to my husband – his image of being the ‘good guy’. No matter how cruel he was to me, he would never want people to know about it. We have been married for over a decade and finding out his secret, in this way, just broke my heart. I felt depressed and alone. I cried myself to sleep every night since then and this was all I could think about day and night.

I had invested all my time and love in a relationship that wasn’t even true to begin with! It felt like I had wasted years of my life in something that was all a big lie. I was just an image to him, to be used as a façade so that he could show the world that he was ‘normal’. What a truly and utterly selfish thing to do!

All this time, I had tried so hard to work on our marriage, hoping to be good enough, but I was never going to be. I didn’t tell him that I knew and I plan to keep it that way because of my children. He supports me financially and, sadly, I know that without him I won’t be able to support them. I am solely responsible for my kids and my house. He travels a lot for ‘work’ and even when he is around, he is mostly noncommittal. Some nights he doesn’t even bother coming home, citing some excuse or another.

After this incident, I became more vigilant when it came to looking for other ‘signs’. One day, when he was leaving for a trip, he left his suitcase open while he went to shower. As he never lets me help when it comes to packing, out of curiosity, I opened his toiletries bag and peeked inside.

What I saw horrified me even further.

There were contraceptives inside his bag. I quickly closed the bag and left the room.

At that moment, I knew for a fact that something was going on. I felt so dejected. It was one thing to compete with another woman but competing with another man was downright impossible.

I chose to stay silent about it even though I was shell shocked. I’m still pretending like I don’t know anything and sometimes I wish I didn’t know about it at all. As they say, ignorance is bliss. As time goes on, I keep thinking of what to do. I keep wondering what my life would have been like with a heterosexual man; whether it would have been any different.

Do I not deserve to be loved, respected and cared for?

I have nothing against homosexual men and I sincerely believe that everyone has the right to live their life the way they want, but to deceive someone like this, to make them go through so much just for your convenience, that’s just cruel.

In light of all this, all I want to say to all the gay men out there is, please come out of the closet and take a stand for yourselves instead of ruining someone else’s life! And if you can’t do that, then don’t get married just to ‘save face’. She is a human being too. I implore you, whatever you do, don’t get married and live a life of treachery and lies. You will never be happy and neither will the poor woman you’re dragging into the mess with you.

Anonymous678

Anonymous678

The author wishes to have her identity protected.

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • The only rationalist left

    How does her husband having condoms in his suitcase prove that he was sleeping with another man, and not a prostitute, yes, genius indeed! Recommend

  • The only rationalist left

    So how does him having condoms in his bag prove that he has been sleeping with another man and not prostitutes ? Or are you saying condoms are used only by homosexual sex mates ? Recommend

  • The only rationalist left

    Yes, he must be a monster and she a doodh say dhuli pari. Recommend

  • The only rationalist left

    Laughable to see these smart asses teach us that “condoms are not used as contraceptives but also to prevent STDs.” Ya right, like using condoms automatically means one is engaging in homosexuality! All the heterosexual sexual proclivities never involve the use of condoms!

    You use condoms? You must be having a gay relationship.

    Recommend

  • A Khan Ahmad

    Well.. husband being gay is something extreme, there are millions of husbands who have weird fantasies, and try to apply on their wife. I know a person who has a fantasy of making other do murgha punishment. and he put his wife in this posture, wife sometimes rejects to do it but he forces, after some time pain becomes unbearable and his fantasy make his wife cry but he wont allow her to stand untill and unless she fells down with pain..

    who can a woman live with a person with such cruel intention and fantasies which his wife also cant fulfill it… insaneRecommend

  • Mir

    Um, gay guys aren’t sterile. There are millions of gay men who have families, despite the fact that they aren’t attracted to females at all.Recommend

  • UU

    Wawoo! what a person your husband is? He even take care that he should not get HIV by using contraceptives during sex with other man. WaooW. I have learned about first ga…..o, who use contraceptives. Second he makes sure that his laptop remains clean, so he use your laptop. Waoow again. You should appreciate him.Recommend

  • UU

    Yes, you know everything.Recommend

  • UU

    So you use this :) I am really naive. I don’t know anything like that :)Recommend

  • UU

    :) I am impressed. What a non ignorant, non typical pakistani who don’t believe in conspiracy theories you are. WaooW. Your behaviour is also not abysmal in your comment. You can understand the pain and mercy of that women as well. Wawooo.
    I think you are a typical medial doctor or a just another fake PhD holder, who believe in everything that is being told to you. :) Recommend

  • @sonia

    I respectfully disagree whole heartedly! Marriages, whether love or arranged, are always a gamble, you cant truly know someone/something abt someone if they are not willing to tell you. And agreeing to marry someone under arranged marriage in no way take away someones right to ‘not wanting to be treated with cruelty’ or the right to complain or stand up for oneself if they are abused or that one is now a slave to every unfair whim of the violent spouse. Recommend

  • Anon

    Yes, it does.Recommend

  • Adpran

    If your husband is homosexual, you must be have realized it since the early year of your marriage due to his cold attitude on you when you and him were on the bed (homosexual men don’t have desire to women). But notice the fact that you already have children and you didn’t feel something strange on him before, my conclusion, your husband is a man who has tendency to bisexuality.

    A man like this actually can choose his sexual orientation with focus on one and reduce the other. Do you know? some men who engaged in gay communities actually are not homosexual, but bisexual who prefer to focus on homosexual orientation.

    Of course, a man like this can choose to focus to heterosexual orientation and ‘press’ his desire to the same gender, if he has strong motivation that supported by strong factor. And the strongest factor is fall in love to a woman.

    If you want to maintain your marriage, you should try to make him fall in love with you, start with make him feel very comfortable with you that will make him always want to feel togetherness with you. I know, it’s very-very-very difficult, or in another word, almost impossible, due to his current feeling on you. But you should try.

    And don’t forget to always pray. May Allah help you.Recommend

  • Anonymous 2

    While reading the story, there’s no precise proof that her husband is gay.

    All proof’s are based on speculations. Even straight people watch gay porn sometimes. It’s usually common in middle aged men.

    And yeah, I agree that why would he watch porn on her laptop instead of his own? Even he can use his cellphone to do that stuff! Right?

    It’s better to confront him with help of some relatives and ask “are you gay”? May be this will solve her confusion. Otherwise thinking about this for her entire life may make her life living hell!Recommend

  • anonymous 2

    agreed! Contraceptives are used to stop pregnancy. I didn’t know that man have started to conceive now.Recommend

  • anonymous 2

    The sperms of gay men do work normal like straight men. The only difference is their psychology, which doesn’t have any interest in women. Instead, they like men more.Recommend

  • anonymous 2

    It’s common for people in army to develop interest in men, since they live most part of their lives starring at men. It starts from the very young age, since they get themselves recruited. I also knew some, who were finally kicked off due their activities. It makes me feel bad to know that how many different types of persons like in our society. You never know the next person you’re meeting is also gay… yakhhh….Recommend

  • anonymous 2

    Agreed! 110%Recommend

  • Subhan

    Most of people would not like my comment but all I can say is that go out, have your own life, make friends, join some productive club and have an extra marital affair, You will get some affection at least…Recommend

  • anonymous 2

    yeah, It’s disgusting! Starring at the article I thought “another so called desi liberal writer”Recommend

  • Saleha Minto

    Did u just suggest that homosexuality is a matter of being ‘used to’ having sex with the same gender? I hope you do not believe it. Here are topics you might find useful in understanding homosexuality
    Klinefelter syndrome, 47,XXY.Recommend

  • S. Khan

    I agree with you on this point. Coming out of the closet is very hard especially in a society like ours. I personally know someone who has known he is gay for close to 30 years now but has not been able to come out of the closet to his close relatives. Gay men or being gay has serious repercussions in Pakistan where religious fanatics kill men just for being gay. I am sorry that the author has gone through years of emotional upheaval and indifference but you cant expect things to change. However, if a person is not able to express his sexuality or be clear about it, he should also not get into a relationship that will destroy several lives.Recommend

  • Muhammad

    It’s clearly easier said than done.
    Also, you need to stop playing the victim role. If you’re an unselfish person, you should come out to him and tell him that he has nothing to worry about. Imagine HIS disposition!
    He *put up with* your marriage in spite of being gay. He stuck around just for you!
    I know you could’ve done better with a heterosexual man, but maybe THIS is exactly what God is testing you for. Recommend

  • Phr. Mirza

    Apart from what that man is; homosexual, bisexual or simply a pervert, I really feel bad for this woman. Islam encourages women to be obedient and loving to their husbands. This relationship is for the benefit of both the partners but in our society people get married for all the wrong reasons and the result is a disaster. Partners fail to be loving and compassionate, ruining the other person’s life as well and unfortunately, most of the time the tortured one is a woman.Recommend

  • Phr. Mirza

    I am sure the woman chose to be anonymous for her children’s sake. But declaration of being gay instead of getting married and having children is totally a personal choice. People can choose what they want to be but they shouldn’t be allowed to ruin other lives by hiding their true selves.Recommend

  • sockpuppet

    maybe his mother (author’s mother in law) keeps an eye on his laptop usage.
    That will somewhat explain his in closet identity.Recommend

  • sockpuppet

    you do understand that the husband wanted everyone to think he was absolutely normal in every which way.
    He could even be bisexual, he doesn’t necessarily have to be outright gay.Recommend

  • sockpuppet

    For all the naive ladies and gentlemen, contraceptive (condoms mainly) usage is quite common amongst homosexuals.
    The chances of you catching a Sexually Transmitted Disease such as HIV, HPV etc are a lot higher in homosexuals than in normal god fearing men or women.Recommend

  • Nobody

    I don’t think she lost the right to complain; any guy or gal who decides to accept going the traditional way is entitled to at least one thing: a heterosexual partner. She wasn’t being unreasonable in assuming she would end up with at the very least, a STRAIGHT man who likes women.
    That being said, yes, unfortunately there are always risks with arranged marriages and that’s why I think it’s important to know the person you plan to share a home, a bed and a life with.
    Cheers.Recommend

  • disgusted

    file for a divorce or khula please! trust me dont spend your life weeing for him! you deserve a lot better :)Recommend

  • KS

    Is it funny? Recommend

  • realist

    To prove to society that you are not gay.Recommend

  • Anonymous2090

    I do not know where to start, but.. you will be in my dua and Allah will protect you and your kids. Do not worry, i know this means nothing to you but we people are with you.. keep raising your voice and we will spread your story as a lesson to many others. May Allah be with you, Stay strong.Recommend

  • maria

    Someone is burning day and night and it seems funny to you? Shame on you!Recommend

  • maria

    Exactly, May Allah show that man a right path.Recommend

  • maria

    Keep your childish opinion to yourself, that lady must be devastated to read your remarks. i mean seriously? this is all you have to say, what is wrong with this Pakistani nationRecommend

  • maria

    If he knew he wouldnt have said it, people here are out of mercy, instead of showing sympathy they are laughing and criticizing, you know why? because that girl above is not their sister, not their mother, not anything to them and that makes it ok to laugh at her pain.Recommend

  • maria

    Get out of here you 11 year old. what is wrong with these people here? ignorance .. ignorance. o my God!!!!Recommend

  • ullo

    What was the purpose of writing this blog?

    Sort your personal matters within your family…pleaseRecommend

  • Hamza

    Distracted from what exactly? And how can you be so sure it’s fake? What dirty agenda?Recommend

  • reality check

    Unfortunate situation. Solution: gather evidence, present it and tell him that if he doesn’t divorce you with full alimony and palimony, you’ll out him publicly. You have a smart phone and 3/4G is up and running in PK – use it. Own your life girl – sometimes taking control requires strength and courage. If you can’t act, then acknowledge that you have no love for yourself and sit there like this till the kids are in college when he finally leaves you anyway without a penny, and you are too old to find another man who will love you the way you deserve.
    Self Love out weighs Public Opinion on the matter and you have the best leverage of all time to save your own reputation and life. Good luck.Recommend

  • Haris

    You don’t have to be judgmental about how exceedingly ignorant he is. Ignorance is the absence of knowledge, and you don’t have knowledge of everything he knows. He has the right to comment as much as you do. So accept the world as it is. This is internet.Recommend

  • chandu

    As she said, her husband is very possessive with his imageRecommend

  • La Femme

    OK so the husband is a coward & a liar etc. etc. But what I dont understand is why the writer does not pull herself together and GET A JOB. Women need to stop being such whiny, pathetic creatures and take charge of their own lives. Yes, you have children. So what? Figure it out. Work. Support them. Support yourself. Have some self respect.Recommend

  • Angel

    She is telling her story! She wants gay people to come out rather than marry women. She cannot reveal herself, will ruin her relationship. She cannot take that risk because she is financially dependent on her husbandRecommend

  • friendly advice

    Dear lady,
    Kindly take care of your husband & fulfill his needs. Recommend

  • water bottle

    It’s the same theory Pakistan uses that even they suffer from terrorism.

    Makes no sense. Besides, one can come out in the open in India as a gay slightly easily than in Pakistan.

    Most importantly. She was not suggesting for a gay man to post on his facebook page that he is gay. Her suggestion was to come out in the open to the people that mattered.Recommend

  • Nobody

    Because gay men can also have sex and their sperm is not affected by their sexual orientation. I’m sure there are other closeted men/women who have children with their partner.Recommend

  • Nobody

    Please grow up. This is reality and it happens. Pakistanis have a habit of sticking their head in the sand and hoping real problems cease to exist. They’re still there when you poke your head out mate.Recommend

  • UtkarshSinghNain

    It’s slightly easier in India, admittedly, but it doesn’t mean the average indian family will accept homosexuality.

    And once the secret is out it won’t stay within the family. People will talk and gossip and it will ruin the man’s life, unless he stops caring what other people think which is tough to do in close-knit communities.Recommend

  • Uzair.R

    Impossible! just a story tailored to promote gayism nothing else!Recommend

  • Nobody

    I’m sure many people reading your comment feel the same way about you dear.
    Cheers.Recommend

  • Ahmed

    What a ridiculously insensitive comment.

    I hope you read all the comments to your ludicrous LOL-comment.Recommend

  • Misbah kasi

    Heavy …… really heavy ! I dont know why some men are like that …. they are weaklings ! And you have planned to spend the rest of your years , rest of your life like this …….??? !!! One committed Loving woman you are ! ! !
    But i think you ought to bring the cat out of the closet some day ….. tell him you have known it for years and you still love him,,,, see what happens ,,,,,, but you gotta tell him ! Ye jeena bhi koi jeena hai ! Life is a one time event ……. try looking at brighter side of the picture ! The world belongs to the optimists …. pessimists are just silint spectators ! Baji I wish you all the best and will pray things end up in your favor !Recommend

  • Ayaz

    Every human has the right to live his life. Yous sounds educated and so you can brought up your children with your own strength!! Trust ALLAH confront your Husaban then choose to live separate or divorce !! you have to take a decision !! You just have only one life make it an example for your child’s.Recommend

  • Adyyyy

    Plz ppl don’t judge the person who opened her life in front of everyone and stop being typical pakistani aswell, she wants to help out ppl expecting to heal her self a bit. if there is some one out there wise enough to help out in any way should come up and suggest on it.
    @anonymous 678 Dear you must have tried a lot of ways to keep up the relation u should not stop trying! atleast he is not100% gay there is a hope left that he might come back to u, till den u should try to consult a psychologist for depression treatment and try to join a nearest women NGO so u might feel better by helping the helpless.God has given pain and a cure is present in the pain itself. thx Recommend

  • Tsa

    Lady……Divorce Him……..Recommend

  • Manahil

    She’s being abused. What needs?Recommend

  • Parvez

    – 2Recommend

  • Parvez

    Possibly you’re the only one who got distracted !!!!!!……..Recommend

  • Parvez

    ….and a lot of other stuff is ‘ haram ‘ in Islam but still happens….like killing in the name of religion……..so why so shocked ?Recommend

  • Manofsteel

    I have read it well, I am not supporting Porn in any case whether you are homosexual or straight… The reason is both have negative impacts. If Instead of watching my wife I start watching other women who are professional and might be more figured, Instead of spending good time with her I will desire for them and that will spoil my marital life.. And instead of my wife watching me start watching some Nigga with some horse Power she will always start thinking and dreaming about it… So better enjoy what you have and reality not fascination or dramatic world..Recommend

  • Parvez

    That certainly was a subject worth writing about……I respect you for doing so.Recommend

  • SamSal

    Why do we have to play the muslim card every time?Recommend

  • Kyle

    Ms. Anonymous678.. You surely can compete with his man. Woman has all the powerful assets. It’s just that your husband likes the other side.. roll over and let him have you he will fall for you again. And remember lots n lots of lube. Cheers.Recommend

  • KS

    I can’t believe some of the comments here.Recommend

  • SamSal

    Could you please cite a reference for me?Recommend

  • SamSal

    You need to do some homework on contraception, dear!Recommend

  • SamSal

    What world are you living in?
    I can cite 10 other such examples!Recommend

  • Mishaal Khan

    Your Story is a slap on the faces of the society where we hide our true selves and try to pose being g00d ruining lives of others.. Its heart breaking .. Many prayers for you to copeRecommend

  • The Author

    This is the Author of this blog. I will refer to myself simply as The Author as “anonymous678” is a name given to me by express tribune. I wish to answer and clarify some of the questions and concerns that people have brought up. Most of you have been very kind and it was truly heartening to read about the prayers and good wishes that have been generously offered on my behalf, and I’m truly grateful for that. On the other hand, I’m disturbed to read some of the callous comments here. The purpose of my story was to educate and help people who may be in a similar situation. It could be that homosexual men or women could confess to their loved ones or relatives about how they really feel after reading my blog. I did not mean that they should announce in the papers that they are gay, I simply meant that it is better to come clean to people who are close to you. It is better for them not to get married at all instead of living a lie. As for contraceptives, yes it seems to be the wrong term here, but I was actually just referring to condoms. At least I can be thankful that whatever he may be up to, my husband takes care to protect himself from STDs. While I don’t necessarily condone homosexual behaviour, I still think that people can do whatever they want with their life as long as it doesn’t hurt other people. I am not anyone’s judge. In this particular case my husband did hurt me. As for the laptop query, as someone mentioned sometimes one is not able to use their own laptop as it’s specifically meant for the workplace. People pointing out that I should divorce him, while I get where you’re coming from, I can’t put my children through that. Even if I were to get a job, I would not be able to maintain the same lifestyle for my children. I hope that answers some of your questions.Recommend

  • Raees Kamil Jan Baigal

    Be Bold Take Divorce !Recommend

  • Subtain Malik

    Don’t want to sound cynical about it, But you are asking all the Gay Men to come out and confront this society and not to have a double face, (which i agree is the right thing to do and it should be this way). But what example are you setting by keeping your mouth shut and by living with a Gay Husband silently just because you can’t take care of your children. Whoever you are, You need to step up show his real identity to the entire world and make an example out of it, if you really care for the women out there. Because keeping his identity hidden won’t do no good to you neither society. Trust me your children would grow better without him than growing with a ‘GAY DAD’.Recommend

  • Adpran

    At those who say that the story above is fake.

    I often read psychological cases and I have found few similar cases, a wife found her husband had tendency to homosexuality or even engaged in homosexual activity. That’s happened after they got married for years.

    So, is the story above fake?. Even if that story is fake, that story still reflect true cases that really happen in society.Recommend

  • Fauziah Mahmood Ahmed Siddiqui

    Being Homosexual is a choice, that is why religion does not allow such interactions.Recommend

  • Hina

    How come you got kids if your husband is gay & only interested in men???Recommend

  • Umar

    Dear gay people, please also give your wives equal time.
    I am so confused, so is it all about you can’t compare yourself to another man or what? he could be bisexual, what made you believe he’s homo?Recommend

  • hassan

    my wife was a homosexual (oriented towards other women) and so yet we living happilyRecommend

  • Bilal

    Your story has brought tears to my eyes. I can never feel the agony and grief that you do and I pray with all my heart that things ease up for you. I am in complete accord with everything you say and know that there is a bunch of people always praying for you now that you’ve written the article.Recommend

  • mainhoonDon

    This guy should be tried under law. Get an FIR against him on some different aspect, take at least your parents into confidence. On a different note Gay culture should disallowed and dealt with a capital punishment. This is not allowed in Islam. If someone is in favor of this culture, then go be with someone outside Islamic Republic of Pakistan and burn your passport while doing so.Recommend

  • Shah (Berlin)

    I think you are missing a point..and tht point is reality..this is happening in Pakistan…I hope no woman has to see such a day…Recommend

  • Sumaiya

    Confront your husband.Recommend

  • Sarah

    This is so sad. I really wish men had more courage to be honest with themselves and the people closest to them, its our society that has made the word ‘gay’ or ‘homosexual’ synonymous with ‘abnormal’ or ‘defected’ and surely, no one wants to be labeled as either. Being gay is not a disease, its not an insult, its challenging, tough and easily misunderstood. This is a reality we all know too well and I hope that one day such complications are no longer the norm. This one of the most compelling arguments against arranged marriages: the other person is a mystery and that is not always a good thing.Recommend

  • Umar

    Thats utter disrespect. You cant just submit yourself to any demand just for the sake of keeping the marriage. Would you do the same thing in you were in her shoes?Recommend

  • Sam

    please don’t make fun, Faraz. You are so reasonable.Recommend

  • Jet-Armament

    Stories like these are one in a millionRecommend

  • Jet-Armamanet

    For gay people to come out in a country like Pakistan is also not a good idea actually.Recommend

  • Banana

    America has one of the highest gay population that admits to be gay. Now compare that with Pakistan or India where coming out as gay have their consequences. And that my dear is the reason for the apparently high population of such individuals in America. If our countries’ gay population were ready to come out (or even accept to themselves, their orientation) the numbers here will make the numbers there look paltry.Recommend

  • Faraz Talat

    It stopped being sobering when it ended at such an ironic note. I promise you, the ‘lol’ was unintentional.

    Anonymous people should not be advising gay people to come out of the closet and commit social suicide in a country like Pakistan.

    Even if the man had come out to his family, I assure you, his family still would’ve hitched him to a woman. It’s because like him, the family too has no other option.Recommend

  • Faraz Talat

    Oh, she cannot reveal herself because of the social problems.

    Unlike gay people, for whom revealing themselves has no social consequences.Recommend

  • Faraz Talat

    In retrospect, my comment was a little callous. I apologize to the author. Apparently my other, more serious comment, either didn’t get published, or sunk to the bottom because this one got up-voted so much.

    But on the other side, I do hope the author understands that the social reasons compelling her to write an anonymous blog, are the same social reasons that keep gay people in the closet.

    I understand your anonymity. Do you understand theirs?Recommend

  • Homophile

    How can you, with all surety, say that its not a choice? I would like to know.Recommend

  • Arifeen

    Klinefelter syndrome has nothing to do with sexual orientation, it doesnt “make” you wana have sex with same gender,Recommend

  • Hammad

    Fake Story. Inspired by Indian movie Bombay TalkiesRecommend

  • Nandita.

    Faraz,

    I understand where you are coming from but the two situations are completely different. Her anonymity on this blog does NOT ruin anyone’s life.His not coming out of the closet ruin’s her life.
    A closet homosexual who marries is definitely harming and cheating an innocent individual.do u see the difference?
    A gay guy who hides his sexual preferances is RUINING a woman’s life by marrying her.If he wishes to hide the fact that he is gay , fine. Let him not reveal it ( incase the social stigma or his family’s reaction holds him back ) but its unfair of him to ruin a girl’s life.
    So a gay guy should come out of the closet.if he doesnt thats okay but then he should refuse to get married and cook up whatever story he wants and feed it to his family.
    Family pressure is NO excuse for a gay man to ruin a woman’s life.
    I empathize with homosexuals because they have no freedom to be themselves, but I have no patience for any homosexual who ruins a innocent life to save himself from social stigma.
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  • Moawwiz

    What amuses me is the fact that he had children with her.
    Not to mention it IS her fault for “spying” on the kids. Let them grow up. Stop being over protective.Recommend

  • Critical

    The concept of “Dancing boys” existed in Islamic Arabia even during a time when Europeans used to burn homosexuals on a stake…and you people think its a 21st century invention by Amreekans to promote immoralityRecommend

  • gp65

    I usually agree with you but here I have trouble doing so. In a country where there is such intense homophobia and gays absolutely dare not come out of their closets, why do you suppose it is a given that your partner whom you know little about is a heterosexual and not a closet gay?Recommend

  • gp65

    Well argued.Recommend

  • sadia

    Faraz.. her being anonymous isnt harming anyone, but gays hiding behind marriage surely ruin the lives of their partners.. therez surely a big difference
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