“Ask for ‘permission’ before taking a second wife? That is out of the question!”

Published: March 12, 2014
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The head of the Council of Islamic Ideology (CII) has claimed that it’s against the tenets of Islam for a man to seek permission from his wife before taking another one. PHOTO: AFP

Suddenly the head of the Council of Islamic Ideology (CII) has claimed that it’s against the tenets of Islam for a man to seek permission from his wife before taking another one. The question that arises is why now, after more than 53 years?

When the law was enacted, Islamic scholars like Maududi, Noorani and Mufti Mahmud were active politicians. None of them objected. Therefore, it was assumed that the Muslim Family Laws Ordinance, 1961 was in accordance with the teachings of Islam. So, what made the current head honcho of CII claim that there is no need to ask your wife if you want to take another one?

One can’t help but think that he has done this to divert the attention of people from the activities of those who think it’s perfectly legitimate to cut off the heads of soldiers to play football with or those who want to spend their lives bombing girls’ schools.

I know that ever since Ayub Khan made the law making it necessary for a man to take permission from his wife before taking another one, fundamentalists have been bitter.

“It’s against a he-man’s nature to take permission from his wife for doing anything, let alone marrying another woman,” says one.

“I rarely talk to my wife, unless it’s absolutely necessary,” says another.

“Same here. The only time I say anything to my wife is when dinner is served late,” adds another.

I asked a man who took a second wife why he felt the need to do so. He replied,

“After seven daughters my wife stopped producing and I desperately wanted a son, so I married again.”

I asked him if he had sought his wife’s permission to which he replied,

“That’s out of the question! I just told her I was taking another wife.”

Concerned, I persisted and asked him if she would have permitted him to marry a second time if he had asked her, to which he firmly replied,

“If she had objected, I’d have immediately divorced her and she knew it.”

This man took a third wife when his second wife became infertile after giving birth to five girls. Ten years have passed and the third wife is the mother of four but still no son for him.

Apart from the one who has three wives, I’ve known very few polygamous men. One was a relative who took a second wife because his first one was barren. Another one told his sons about a secret wife when doctors told him he didn’t have long to live. And then, there was one who sent his wife and children for a month-long holiday to Murree and married a film actress. His brother also had a secret wife who emerged after his death.

When you get down to it, although Islam permits polygamy there are strict conditions attached. A man has to treat all his wives equally – something physically impossible to do. What this means is, if the first wife gives him a sound thrashing, he has to go to his other wives and get beaten by them one by one!

Jokes apart, only a fool would want to have more than one wife nowadays with the cost of living so high that most people barely earn enough to keep body and soul together. Another thing to consider: there are 106 males for every 100 females in Pakistan and hence, many Pakistani males will remain single unless of course, they get wives from one of our neighbouring countries.

If an increasing number of Pakistani males decide to take second or third wives, there will be a major crisis in the country… as if there weren’t enough issues as it is!

But one thing is for sure – if a man wants to take a second wife for whatever reason (including the fact that his wife now weighs so much she reminds him of an elephant in the zoo), he will do so and knowing how contemptuously the Muslim Family Law is treated, nothing will happen to him unless his first wife’s brothers throw him into the sea. Which is what he deserves, to say the least.

And if all this wasn’t enough, these chaps in the CII have also decreed that it is ‘un-Islamic’ to fix the minimum age for marriage at 18 (for boys) and 16 (for girls). It looks like they want us to go back to the Stone Ages. Think about it. If we are asked to arrange marriages of our five-year-old children, what difference would there be between us and those who lived in pre-Islamic days?

Don’t they know that the consent of both parties – which includes the boy and girl and not just their parents – to a marriage is essential in Islam? How can young children decide whom they want to marry and whom they don’t?

It seems like the time has come for us to start praying that they don’t ask us to strangle female babies at birth.

After all, you can expect anything from these guys.

Do you think a man should seek permission from his wife before taking a second wife?

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Shakir Lakhani

Shakir Lakhani

Engineer, former visiting lecturer at NED Engineering College, industrialist, associated with petroleum/chemical industries for many years. Loves writing, and (in the opinion of most of those who know him), mentally unbalanced. He tweets @shakirlakhani (twitter.com/shakirlakhani)

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • Lt Col Imtiaz Alam(retd)

    Let the fool take four wives. What’s your personal concern. When the Koran & Sunnah allows it you needn’t worry. The Ball is in Allah’s Court. Chill out .Recommend

  • Haris Javed

    You can expect anything from these people after they condoned rapes by rejecting DNA as evidence.. .Recommend

  • Haris Javed

    You can expect anything from these people after they condoned rapes by rejecting DNA as evidence.. .Recommend

  • Libran

    You think your wife would ever allow you to marry another woman for whatsoever reason? Never!Recommend

  • Nandita.

    It’s appalling that some of you guys think polygamy is okay. *Shudder* *Shudder*

    Instead of asking a poll question that goes ” Do you think a man should seek permission from his wife before taking a second wife?”, It would be prudent to downright condemn polygamy. But that would require centuries worth of evolution eh ?Recommend

  • muntaha

    An otherwise well written piece is marred by the line about strangling girls. Alas, people reading the blog would spend all their energy criticizing this bit and forget to appreciate the writer’s stance on the ordinance itself and its history and why he thinks polygamy might not be the best option in a country like Pakistan where there are already more men than women.Recommend

  • Muhammad Ehsan Elahi

    What I know is this is religion. So dont talk if you dont know enough. Personally, I believe these people know more than us about religion.Recommend

  • http://www.gmail.com/ Shihab

    what can I say some so called muslim misuse islam. This is totally disgusting.Recommend

  • Muhammad Ehsan Elahi

    What I know is this is religion. So dont talk if you dont know enough. Personally, I believe these people know more than us about religion.Recommend

  • mahmoodadeel

    If you don’t have any extensive knowledge about Islam don’t pretend yourself as Islamic scholar. its a famous saying that “an uneducated person can be dangerous only for himself but an ignorant person is dangerous for the whole society.Recommend

  • Yousaf Khan

    The Tribune is really only concerned with what the “west” thinks of things.

    First of all:

    has claimed that it’s against the tenets of Islam for a man to seek permission from his wife before taking another one.

    WRONG; It has claimed that its against the tenets of Islam to FORCE a man BY LAW to seek permission from his wife before taking another one.

    And indeed if Allah in all His wisdom has allowed us man to take multiple wives then how can a human woman forbid her husband doing so.

    Haris Javed; so you don’t agree with this ruling that complies with the laws given to us by Allah Allmighty?

    Lt Col Alam, in the Court where the ball should have been all the while, instead of some court that judges with human laws that overrule the Laws of the Lord.Recommend

  • someone

    Now only if someone can tell men in south Asia that the gender of baby born depends upon the father and not the mother, i think polygamy could be limited.Recommend

  • maimana

    Ofcourse you think that… Recommend

  • Almas

    The concern is with the wives who are treated disgustingly. I know a man who had took on three wives. His first he treated her like dirt, and the other two like angels, and then the other two ruined his first ones life. you might find this disgusting but woman do not want to divorce in Pakistan because no one wants to marry a divorcee in Pakistan, but oh yes, let me remind you, that’s also Sunnah and also one of the reasons that Islam allows you to marry another woman, to help her financially and morally, maybe she is a divorcee or she has children and her husband has died. these r the reasons why the Law has come about. Not the reason, ‘oh I felt like having another wife today’. Before talking about sunnah, know sunnah was also to ‘treat your wives fairly’ so it is our problem and we do have to worry because the Prophet Muhammed SAW told us if we see wrong, speak about it. If I see women being treated badly, and Muhammed SAW was a strong supporter of women rights, then I’ll listen to what he said and tell people about it. why not follow the good things in Islam.For instance Christianity has won story of love thy neighbour and then another of stoning children to death-you get to choose. i’d choose love thy neighbour. Although Allah SAW will be on the oppressed side (women mostly), I cant see them suffer and I will speak out for them because ive been told when I see wrong and injustice, I should SPEAK!Recommend

  • Shahid

    do you have no sense of propriety and ethics at all?
    Recommend

  • Jehanzeb Mahar

    There would be hardly any pakistani wife who would allow her to take a second wife. So, what’s the point in asking this question. BTW, I haven’t come across a single Islamic injunction telling men to do so.Recommend

  • abubakar

    So you know more about islam than the all members of council combined?Recommend

  • Hammurabi

    Unfortunately most of the people don’t understand the difference between a law and the procedure to implement it..Many procedures were prescribed by Hazrat Umar(R.A)
    in the light of Quran.Seeking permission of first wife has not been refuted anywhere in Islam.Seeking permission facilitates better relations and justice,as advocated in Quran.It is in accord with the spirit of Islam to ensure harmony between the wives,and therefore seeking permission is not against the spirit of Islam.Recommend

  • Nandita.

    Please don’t say South Asia. India is a part of South Asia. And 80% of India’s population comprises of Hindus and polygamy is illegal for Hindus.Recommend

  • Mehmooda

    How conveniently you took the discussion to other directions like talibanization and all. Not that I have slightest bit of feeling for them but i find your article very week. If you want to comment on Islam, you better should do your research first in the light of quran and sunnah. P.S I am not an Islamic erudite to comment whether this permission is mandatory or no.Recommend

  • Shakir Lakhani

    The 1973 Constitution was adopted after much heated debate and consensus. The Muslim Family Laws 1961 is part of this constitution. Maulanas Maudoodi, Noorani and Mufti Mahmood were alive at the time and their parties approved the constitution. Even Qazi Hussain Ahmed did not ever object to it in his lifetime. Are you saying these scholars were wrong or ignorant of Islamic injunctions?Recommend

  • Haris Javed

    there is a difference between rape and adultery! by rejecting DNA as evidence, this Council has virtually denied justice to ‘rape’ victims.

    God forbid! God forbid!! Again May ALLAH (swt) keep this from happening but IF their closed ones would ever become such a victim [as many members of our society who were left helpless] this council will jump in to remove all these fallacies and support medical evidences and expert testimonies!!! On this, i rest my case.Recommend

  • Prof

    IF the above unfortunate event were to take place, they would more likely embrace honor killings than accept medical evidence.Recommend

  • Prof

    Centuries worth of evolution has taught us that what goes on between two consenting adults is should be none of our business…. unless it directly and significantly effects in some way.Recommend

  • deep

    Mehmooda – you do not need a religious text to tell you what is right and wrong – just ask your conscience and you will know if polygamy is woman-friendly or not. What would you want – widows being helped by benevolent polygamists or widows capable of looking after themselves and their children. Instead of supporting polygamy – support empowerment. It is amazing women like do not find anything wrong in polygamy.Recommend

  • Nandita.

    Two consenting adults? Excuse me while I go laugh. No woman wants to share her man with another woman so i have a lot of trouble believing that a woman would happily agree to her husband marrying a 2nd, 3rd or 4th time ( 4 marriages ewwwww) Women give in because in a patriarchial society, their opinions mean zilch. Recommend

  • Nandita.

    While we are on the topic of two consenting adults , let me expalin what that means : 2 men ( or 2 women ) who love each other should be allowed to marry. Coz now that is what 2 consenting adults want. Or interfaith marriages where no conversion is involved should be permissible. But that would not be okay with so many of the “pious and holy god men”.. A man taking 4 wives : that’s beyond ridiculous, in a civilized world such ridiculous practices would not exist.
    Recommend

  • Nobody

    And a self serving man taking on another wife, trampling on the rights and dignity of his first wife affects others in no way, right? As long as the abuse goes on behind closed doors, it’s all gravy.

    As if ANYTHING these bearded loonies do is between “consenting adults.” They don’t consider women adults, much less feel their consent is needed. Passing idiotic statements as is the topic of this blog is exactly the opposite of promoting consent.Recommend

  • Nobody

    And a self serving man taking on another wife, trampling on the rights and dignity of his first wife affects others in no way, right? As long as the abuse goes on behind closed doors, it’s all gravy.

    As if ANYTHING these bearded loonies do is between “consenting adults.” They don’t consider women adults, much less feel their consent is needed. Passing idiotic statements as is the topic of this blog is exactly the opposite of promoting consent.Recommend

  • Nobody

    Completely agree. Disgusted by the fact that this blatant misogyny is not only being discussed, but promoted by these devolved, radical woman-hating loonies. They belong in an asylum, not out in public with civilization.Recommend

  • Nobody

    Completely agree. Disgusted by the fact that this blatant misogyny is not only being discussed, but promoted by these devolved, radical woman-hating loonies. They belong in an asylum, not out in public with civilization.Recommend

  • NS

    Why is such article coming from a man after all ?Recommend

  • Nobody

    Of course people shouldn’t worry. It’s only women being treated like dog doody and stripped of their dignity. No concern to society, right?Recommend

  • Nobody

    This country has a bleak future if guys like this gain enough power. Women will be led around on a leash, stripped of dignity, rights, and a voice. They’re already halfway there. Polygamy is nothing, but an excuse for self serving Muslim men. They do not care about the feelings of these women, or the conditions that came with it centuries ago or what purpose it originally served 1,400+ years ago. They see it as an easy way to keep women barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen and under their control dependent on them. Pathetic.
    Recommend

  • hammurabi

    @ltcol jmtiaz
    Such thinking has alrdeady damaged our nation.
    Recommend

  • anil

    “After seven daughters my wife stopped producing and I desperately wanted a son, so I married again.” — Is she a hen who lays eggs . There are also people like him in India who are responsible for population growth and change in demography. What kind of parents you are when you produce 15 children and can’t feed and educate them and throw them into militant camps ? Now a days it is even difficult to feed and educate single child properly . I call them “child producing machine” , not parents. That’s why muslims are so backward now a days .Recommend

  • Naeem

    But aborting a pregnancy after learning that it’s a girl, isn’t, or is it? Because that’s a wide-spread practice in India.Recommend

  • irfan

    in thr constitution not in thr relign.. u knw smthing ? how many wives the father of Respectd Shri Ram’s father had?Recommend

  • irfan

    can
    anybody tell me what wrong have they said.. n if u say they have said
    somthing wrong plz bring ur evidence from Quran and Sunnah.. if u cant
    then plz think abt ur hearts? is there any point u have in ur heart that
    can say yes to Allah’s orders ..Recommend

  • irfan

    mr shakir lakhani .. wht if i bring u proof that molana maudoodi, and many other great ulamas pointed out their diffrences with this law of 1961.. if i bring u proof wud u be having that much courage to aknowlge in the same ET Blog tht u floated a wrong statement and that u didt have complt knwledge of wht u said..?Recommend

  • Nandita.

    Hello Mr Knowledgeable, sex of the fetus is not even revealed in India… It is ILLEGAL TO REVEAL THE SEX OF THE BABY.

    So, tell me, why do you think it is permissible to have 4 wives in pakistan?

    ALSO, hinduism does not permit polygamy or female feoticide etc.. so there !Recommend

  • Nandita.

    Let me enlighten you about the difference. Hindus move with the times. Polygamy is not permissible today.. We have evolved. What about you ? You still want to live in the stone age?Good for you!Recommend

  • Nandita.

    Let me enlighten you about the difference. Hindus move with the times. Polygamy is not permissible today.. We have evolved. What about you ? You still want to live in the stone age?Good for you!Recommend

  • Nandita.

    Hinduism does not permit polygamy. Neither does the constitution.Recommend

  • Nandita.

    I am not going to defend what I consider to be wrong. No clue why he married again, but hinduism does not permit polygamy.Recommend

  • Nandita.

    Umm , I love enlightening people. It is illegal to reveal the sex of fetus. Any doctor who does that will land up in prison. Hinduism does not allow female feoticide and neither does the law in India.

    Does the law in Pakistan allow polygamy? Why? Why?Recommend

  • Naeem

    But it is widespread, isn’t it, in hindus especially?Recommend

  • abubakar

    Islam permits polygamy, so you’re saying you are disgusted by islam in a way?Recommend

  • Shakir Lakhani

    So why did Maulana Maudoodi’s party (JI) accept the constitution? And does Sharia say a man should not seek permission from his wife before marrying another woman? Have you read about Hazrat Ali (RA) not marrying another woman because Hazrat Fatima was not happy about it?Recommend

  • someone

    Hi Nandita, Don’t you think the girl child abortion, rampant in India, is because of this ignorance of “X” and “Y” chromosome.So while we don’t have polygamy in Hindu religion, we have another horrible social issue on hand to deal with.Recommend

  • someone

    Hi Irfan, Yes polygamy was part of Hindu culture in history. The Hindu history is filled up with the cases of polygamy. But you know what, even polyandry was accepted. This should give you a fair idea how open the Hindu society was at some point of time. While now Hindu society has moved to global standard of marriage between one man and one woman, legally, and both polygamy and polyandry are illegal for Hindus by constitution, same can not be said for Muslim society. Monogamy is the requirement of today’s time of population explosion and Hindu society has accepted it but if the same is put in place for Muslims, it immediately becomes threat to their religious freedom.Recommend

  • BrokenWolf

    If a man can keep justice, should he not marry another time?
    What of the unmarried women? Should they not be given a chance to have a family of their own? If an able man can provide for them and keep them with love and kindness then why not?
    If a man develops feelings for another woman (which is possible) should he just divorce the first one and leave for the second? Or is it better that if he thinks he can keep justice he marries them both and takes care of his queens well?
    Everyone has the right to live life to the maxim.Recommend

  • Naeem

    And isn’t it also widespread in hindus to keep women out of wedlock, other than their wives, without any rights a wife has by law?Recommend

  • Nandita.

    Dude, can you give me a logical explanation for polygamy in Pakistan. Would love to hear your views.

    Female foeticide does take place in INdia just as it does in PAkistan. Recommend

  • abubakar

    *WeakRecommend

  • someone

    Since the whole word now know that a birth of girl or boy depends upon the man and not woman, and if a woman desires to have a son, would she be allowed to divorce her husband to remarry to another man to have son?Recommend

  • https://twitter.com/jandal_487 Amir Abu Jandal

    Every Muslim agrees that 4 marriages are allowed in Islam, but 4 marriages are not actually encouraged in Islam. Only 1 marriage is highly encouraged in Islam (in any interpretation). Quran says “….marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but
    if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry)
    only one…”(4:3) and according to Hazrat Aisha in Sahih Bukhari 3:44:674, this verse is about orphan girls to whom people used to marry for their property not for they loved them. So this verse came only to marry the orphan, unsupportive and poor women in our society. And it is also mentioned in this verse according to various famous tafasirs of Qurans that MARRY ONLY WHEN YOU ARE SURE THAT YOU WILL BE JUST, ELSE DO NOT MARRY AND GOD KNOWS THAT MOSTLY YOU WONT BE JUST!
    So instead of encouraging 1 family system and a happy life these fundamentalists will keep digging there personal means out of it!!! and now modern research and studies has also proved that small family spends thousand times better and peaceful life. God help us!Recommend

  • Kohistani.

    So we blindly follow what they decree? Their interpretations?
    They are not even cognizant of the latest medical advances.
    There are instances,in the West, where people on death row
    were exonerated because latest DNA advances proved them to
    be innocent ! Some after 25 years of waiting and appeals.
    Some were in jail because of false testimonies. Proved innocent
    by DNA technology !Recommend

  • Multani

    According to calculations : The man had 7 daughters from first wife.
    Then had 5 daughters from second wife. Again had 4 daughters from
    third wife. So, a total of 16 daughters ! He must be a filthy rich man!
    Or this story is very suspect.Recommend

  • Lahorei

    She did not say anything about Islam. Recommend

  • Nobody

    Do you know the conditions under which polygamy was allowed and that it was applicable 1400+ years ago in a way it is NOT applicable anymore? These zealots don’t care about the conditions that need to be met or the fact that they cannot be met anymore than they care about the dignity of women. Islam doesn’t disgust me at all; people who make it a self serving joke disgust me.Recommend

  • Mehmooda

    To begin with, I myself is an independent, single, self empowered working woman. Alhumdulillah. And in no circumstances will I ever encourage my future husband or any cousin or friend of mine for polygamy. But the debate here is not my personal opinion. Neither I commented on whether it’s mandatory to ask for permission is Islam or no. But I only meant to say that if it was the sunnah of Prophet SAW, we can not consider it ethically wrong.
    But one by the virtue of sunnah, is forbidden to marry unless he can be fair and just with both the wives in all matters.Recommend

  • amoghavarsha.ii

    @all commentators and author and Great Islamic scholars,
    Whether rich or poor, whether male count is less or not, polygamy is simply an act of saying to your wife that I am no longer as happy as I was before.
    Now how do u solve this problem, it is not by having this wife and taking another.

    If you are no longer happy as you are before, you can always walk away but making everybody who has been in your relationship happy.

    This should be same for all partners in the relationship.

    you cannot have both ways.Recommend

  • omaranis

    STORIES YOU HAVE QUOTED ARE EXEGERATED TO COMIC PROPORTIONS.Recommend

  • Nandita.

    Really? Making up ridiculous stories are you?
    What does your statement even mean ? Makes no sense.
    “Keep women out of wedlock other than their wives ” What does that mean?Recommend

  • Nandita.

    Female infanticide is as common in India as it is in Pakistan.
    The difference is the law in India tries to prevent practices like Female infanticide or polygamy etc.
    Pakistani law on the other hand , which allows ridiculous practices like polygamy is ensuring that you remain in the stone age.

    Please answer the original question : wHY DO you support polygamy? Why is it allowed in Pakistan?Recommend

  • PostMan

    It might interest some people to know that when Quran talks about polygamy, it talks in terms of providing father figure for Orphans. In other words, you can only marry a widow. Even then one is advised to stay put with one wife because another marriage would be injustice to her. Please read Quran 4:3 and 4:129 for references.

    http://think-islam.blogspot.com/2008/02/polygamy-in-islam-quranic-perspective.htmlRecommend

  • Mehmooda

    Thanks :)Recommend

  • Nandita.

    Are you referring to mistresses? Why are you making up ridiculous stories? NO, having mistresses is NOT widespread in India as you claim.Do you have any data to back your false statements ?Making false allegations about Hindus will not divert attention from polygamy prevalent among Muslims.

    As I mentioned in my comment yesterday, Hindus in general move with the times. We have a tendency to discard practices that we consider primitive which is why polygamy in outlawed for Hindus today. No Hindu priest will agree to get a couple married if either one of them is already married. The time when polygamy existed among hindus ( polygamy was not practiced by the general masses btw ) is long gone. We are a progressive community , you see.Recommend

  • abubakar

    If just like milions else you claim to be a real muslim , you have to follow wharever they decree but for wish washy muslims, they don’t need to kisten to what this council says. And one final thing hate the game not the player.Recommend

  • abubakar

    I know exactly why it was made allowable in the first places, but in the same way there are many things of islam which according to some people are not applicable anymore, in this way those people are just trying to render the whole religion inapplicable in today’s world. So indirectly you are indeed saying that islam is not applicable anymore! Right? Tell me how would you like to live in a place where sharia is fully implemented ? There’s the proof people don’t want islam but don’t have guts to say it instead they just beat around the bush eiher that or they simply don’t know islam well enough. And secondly don’t hate these members of islamic council they’re just a means to an end, hate the end.Recommend

  • abubakar

    Polygamy is explicitly allowed in islam, you kniw what I mean, if you are disgusted by polygamy then you’re disgusted by a teaching of islamRecommend

  • wajid

    A lot of these members are political people, they use Islam, for their own agenda.Recommend

  • Lt Col Imtiaz Alam(retd)

    Thank Allah this Article has got you all thinking. Now why don’t you open the Glorious Koran & connect it with the Sunnah you will be more enlightened. Wasting time on a Topic which will not open the gates of Heaven for you. Prepare yourself for the Day of Judgement.Recommend

  • Mardan wala

    In the 1400 plus years ago, it was a different world. There
    were wars. Men were killed. Leaving behind a lot of widows
    marriageable girls behind. In most cases nobody to take care or provide for them. That is the reason 4 wives were allowed.
    Europe through the ages and specially ,specially after WW 1
    was a devastated landscape. With millions of men killed. And
    millions of widows and girls left behind.
    The zealots do not care. Neither do the blind followers,
    without even giving it a thought.Recommend

  • Sialkot wala

    Were you really in the Army? With this kind
    of regressive attitude? No wonder the armed
    forces are third rate. With no respect from the
    populace.Recommend

  • Jawad Anwer

    Read someone who knows something like Zakir Naik and you will realize how wrong you are. Polygamy is permitted in Islam and this is the eternal law.Recommend

  • Amber

    Men ought to seek permission – they don’t tend to be thinking properly when they seek their supposed right to marry again. I doubt much thought is involved at all. In my experience men who marry more than once severely traumatise their kids. I have two friends – one a second wife’s son and the other a first wife’s… I know this is little to base a conclusion with but I think it’s worth mentioning. The second wife’s son has grown into an overly secure chauvinist, and the first wife’s son has grown into an insecure mess who looks desperately for love and affection. It’s sad. The wives are not the only ones harmed.Recommend

  • reluctant khan

    The conditions require that the husband should seek permission of his first wife we are being taught this from grade school and have some morals do not degenerate Islam just because a bunch of mullahs want us to. Amma Hawah was made from the ribs of the Hazrat Adam meaning women are to be protected and treated kindly. Holy Prophet treated all wives equally and he didn’t do injustice with any of his wives he was a family man and a religious man. I believe men shouldn’t be allowed to remarry if their first wife isn’t happy with them and especially if she doesn’t allow their husbands to remarry as the ISLAM i know states.Recommend

  • Humanity

    Abu Bakar,
    Do you know the conditions set forth for upto 4 wives? Are people complying with the guidance for even one marriage? Be honest, if you choose to reply.

    Fear Allah and use your mind, instead of a blind follower, also deaf and dumb.Recommend

  • Saad Riaz

    Yeah shining india with a social divide based on the casting system. Come on Nandita , dont try to pretend what you are notRecommend

  • spock jr

    Caste system is largely irrelevant todayRecommend

  • Nobody

    I’ve never beat around the bush – I would never live in a place where sharia is fully implemented. People, particularly MEN have created their own sexist idea of sharia and want to implement that. They do not understand the first thing about Islam or women and use BOTH to self serve and that’s it. So no, I do not want to live in any society that does not consider me an equal member of society and rather sees me as a voiceless, mindless incubator and an object of lust, nothing more.Recommend

  • Nobody

    Lahorei is right. I didn’t bring up religion, you did.

    Seems you didn’t understand my comment, but make what you will of it. And if I do feel a certain way about polygamy, what’s it to you? Is valuing a woman and respecting her as an equal so hateful a thought to you that someone OPPOSING sexist and outdated practices is wrong/hate worthy in your eyes?Recommend

  • Nobody

    That excuse has been used enough times and it is almost NEVER the case. Men do NOT marry other women out of the goodness of their hearts or to protect women. They do it for selfish reasons and mostly to fulfill their own lust elsewhere. There are more men in Pakistan than women. Since you’re so worried about people having the option to marry and have children, women ought to marry two+ men to make sure they all have mates.
    Furthermore, a man cannot do justice. It is not humanly possible. Women are not shoes that a person can love all their shoes equally. The Prophet (pbuh) could do so at a very different time, and I can confidently say there have been no men like him since and it’s highly unlikely there ever will be.Recommend

  • Nobody

    Unfortunately men (and a rare few women) who actually support polygamy cannot give one clear answer as to why they think it should be implemented in 20-bloody-14. You’ll hear the same recycled nonsense and that’s it. It’s maddening.Recommend

  • Shakir Lakhani

    I want to clarify the point about “strangling baby girls”. You probably know that in the pre-Islamic era, Arabs used to get their children married at ages of 8 & 9 (if not earlier). They also had this custom of strangling or burying alive their daughters at birth. Since the CII want us to go back into the pre-Islamic era, I said I wouldn’t be surprised if they will ask us to strangle baby girls (or bury them alive) at birth.Recommend

  • Saad Riaz

    what about the salary and job quota structure for government jobs base on the caste.Recommend

  • spock jr

    Reservations are for the lower castes to uplift them. Reservations are not for the high caste people.Recommend

  • abubakar

    You know wives have to be treated fairly and impartially, allows a loophole that people can exlpoit and nothing more. So once again I’ll say hate the player not the game. Don’t blame the clerics they are just players in this game. Now obviously I can’t say it more explicitly because that comment will never make it throughRecommend

  • abubakar

    Read my reply to reluctant khan. And blind follower who me ? No thanksRecommend

  • abubakar

    Clerics have not modified and customised sharia it’s apologists who have created their own watered down version of sharia, to appear civilised to, and in compliance with the modern world.Recommend

  • spock jr

    What is the plight of minorities in Pakistan today?Kindly help us understand.Recommend

  • spock jr

    What is the plight of minorities in Pakistan today?Kindly help us understand.Recommend

  • Saad Riaz

    you dont have plight even for majority Hindus in india and they are treated based on their caste and you want to discuss minorities ? thats funny really. Rana bhagwas Daas was a hindu and acted as Chief Justice of Supreme court in Pakistan and people loved him.Yousuf Youhana was a christian and was a Hero to the whole nation irrespective of his religious views. We do have problems dude but we are better than india for sure in terms of tolerance. We dont have dirty marks of incidents like Gujrat riots and Samjhota express and we are not expecting to have a PM who is a murderer and is not eligible for US visa due to his involvement in slaughter of minorities. Help me understand first PlzRecommend

  • Saad Riaz

    my friend the question is why there is a need of reservation based on castes… and why there is a caste system at the first place.. you just negated your comment that its largely irrelevant today. I have many indians friend and i know the whole system and problems your society have and I dont blame you guys. What bothers me is that you present india as something that its not at all. I strongly believe Pakistan is much better than india when it comes to human rights but this comparison will not help us as both of these countries are far behind as compared to develop countries and thats what matter the most.Recommend

  • spock jr

    Reservation is there since a long time because of India’s attempts to erase all the caste problems that has existed in the past. Caste system is largely irrelevant today. And many people oppose reservations because there is no need for it since discrimination on basis on caste system does not even exist today. But since reservation has existed for lower castes since Decades, it is still existing even though there is no need for it. Jobs and salary etc are based on Merit alone. Inter caste marriages etc are very common in India.
    Pakistan has a better human rights record? Lol. India has a gujarat once. You have shia , christian , hindu killings and conversations every single day. There are communal killings in Pakistan every day. Polio workers are killed. Don’t understand how you can talk to human rights in Pakistan. LOL. The world sees India as a far more progressive state than Pakistan. You have an Imran Khan, a taliban apologist. And Modi is not a killer. He requested police and army intervention to stop riots. Gujarat has not had even one riot post that. pAKIStan has Taliban so no basis for your claim on Pakistani human rights record.
    Pakistan is a failed state my friend. India on the other hand is an emerging power.
    BTW , yusuf yohana converted to islam.He was influenced to do so. And one of pakistan’s hindu co founders moved back to india in the 1950s. We have innumerable examples of minorities people succeeding in India in medicine, engineering,law,bollywood,music,literature,arts etc.
    pAkistan can name only a handful of minorities who succeeded in Pakistan and that too people from the past, presently there are no minority successful pakistanis.Recommend

  • spock jr

    If Pakistan had a better human right record how come the percentage of hindus and christians has decreased in pak after independence whereas the percentage of muslims in india has increased so greatly. India has as many muslims as pak. therefore, India is obviously safer and has a better human rights record.Recommend

  • Saad Riaz

    Even your capital city s not safe for girls so your arguments are of no use. People in Pakistan have much better standard of living as compared to india where 40 % of population is living below the poverty line.Recommend

  • Saad Riaz

    I never said Pakistan is a secular state because its not. Its a Islamic state and you should not expect the people over here to follow secular ideology but that doesnt mean minorities have no rights here. Keep dreaming for shining india but you know from inside that its just media mimic.
    Regarding the riots yes we have them in Pakistan but all these terrorist acts doesnt imply that its a human right issue. Its a law and order issue my friend while in your country its your law and religion which suppress the humans and deny people from their rights just because they belong to different casts. Dont even think to compare Pakistan with India as there is no comparison.Recommend