I am a Sunni and I married a Shia

Published: March 27, 2014
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Shia Sunni weddings are no different than a Sunni wedding or a Shia wedding.

It would be safe to say that I never really believed in love, despite having read a million romance novels, watching the necessary romantic comedies and having the requisite number of crushes during my teen years.

I guess you could blame my convent education, my formative years being in the influence of feminists. I prescribed to the theory,

‘A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle’.

I was a love-cynic at best and mighty proud of it.

I could never understand how some girls could fawn over the opposite sex, fall helplessly head-over-heels and tie the knot at times to Mr Not-So-Right. It was baffling to me when a cousin of mine eloped, loving someone to the point of rebellion and particularly, hurting and humiliating those who loved and raised you all your life.

I just could not wrap my head around it.

And then, unfortunately, just like it happens in low-budget movies, cupid struck when and where its least expected. After having spent my early twenties meeting many ‘unsuitable’ boys, Mr Right decided to swoop in on my 28th birthday. There was just one tiny catch – I belonged to the mainstream Sunni sect and he was Shia.

I was extremely apprehensive initially and somehow, more than my own feelings, I was more concerned, or should I say curious about how my family would react. Relatives in my extended family had married outside the religion, but no one had ventured into the Shia zone before. After the initial few months came the realisation that we were meant to be. I was falling into that spiral and very soon there would be no going back. But I was in it for the long haul and that epiphany came soon enough.

I have to admit that gathering the courage to broach the subject before my parents was the most difficult task. The actual discussion went smoother than anticipated. In my paranoia, I thought all hell would break lose as my folks are semi-conservative. But thankfully, both of our parents were quite happy with the arrangement.

Our respective parents’ reaction left us dumbfounded. Turns out we were both quite prejudiced about our parents’ mind set.

These are parents who we often scoffed at for being ‘old-fashioned’, dismayed by their yearning for the past simpler days and irked at their technological impairments. Their reaction proved us wrong and we vowed not to hold preconceived notions again.

So we tied the knot, with a short and sweet Sunni and Shia mixed nikkah and sailed off into the sunset.

We were, however, surprised to find that there were objections that came from other domains. There were people who looked at me with a ‘you kafir’ look in their eyes. One day over dinner, my husband’s childhood friend literally bombarded me with a shocking question,

“What will you do if your children turn Shia? How would you feel?”

I was dumbfounded at the absurdity of her question.

Did we just zap out of 2014 back into 1813? Is she serious?

To this day, I fail to understand why my children’s chosen sect affected her at such a deep level. It should be quite amusing for the readers to note that she later married outside her religion. Well, to answer the question, my husband and I have reconciled to the fact that our children will grow up Sushis (Sunni-Shias). What is more important to both of us is that they turn out as good human beings, which comes before being good Muslims, which in turn precedes the sect they choose.

I cannot say I had no reservations initially, but I got acclimatised slowly and gradually. Most of my issues were quelled over these last two years. Hardly any marriage comes free of emergent concerns and issues, and it would be immature to think that it would be smooth-sailing.

To an outsider looking in, the very idea of Muharram may seem quite ominous. Visions of women dressed in black from head to toe, the expression of gloom, the mourning and commemorating extreme tragedy in intricate detail. For some, it may take a while to sink in actually.

We should understand that this is an exercise in stereotyping. It’s important to remember that when we get busy putting people in boxes, we should know how it would feel if we were to be at the receiving end of it. Trust me, being stereotyped is no fun. Coming from a mainstream sect to a much smaller one, I have seen this picture up close.

In my particular case, I am not expected to go majlis’ as my in-laws are very open-minded and not the least bit conservative despite being practising Shias. I voluntarily attend whichever majlis I choose to. My husband, on the other hand, makes his decision based on who serves the best haleem.

I too made mistakes, lots of them, all of which were overlooked. Once I completely forgot it was Muharram and wore a magenta kurta to work. Learning the correct jargon took its own time. It’s not a ‘flag’, it’s an ’alam’, one doesn’t get a ‘lunchbox’ after the majlis, it’s referred to as ‘tabarruk’. After many faux pas and the horrible taste of my foot in my mouth, there’s much improvement, but I still have my moments.

During Muharram, of course I avoid wearing bright colours, which was the case even before I got married and I simply attend the congregation without carrying out any of the rites. I should admit, my first Muharram at my in-laws I found everything quite strange. I was in the thick of it and yet not ‘one of them’. At times I did feel I stuck out like a sore thumb. Over time I realised that that is exactly how the Shias feel all the time outside the Imambargah, marginalised.

Sadly, we as a nation tend to single out our minorities and are not very tolerant of someone ‘different’, the prejudice being based on ethnicity, religion, sect or anything that differentiates. In a country where 30% of the population marry their first cousins, we have a very inward-moving tendency.

It is most certainly worrisome that Imambargahs need very strict security due to the growing intolerance and acts of terrorism in its extreme form. The targeted murders of Shias have lessened in number since the 90s, but the hate has certainly not subdued over time. Come Muharram, I cannot help but worry that my husband and in-laws, whom I have grown to love, are in more danger than I am on a day-to-day level.

We have become so desensitised with the information overload that countless channels have bestowed upon us. It’s a troubling fact, that I really understood the true meaning of the word ‘threat’ after I got married. Unfortunately, nothing makes us understand the severity of a situation unless we, ourselves are at the receiving end. As a nation we truly lack empathy. There are numerous Shia friends and acquaintances who have received death threats.

I sincerely wish that the perpetrators of sectarian violence get to experience the vulnerability and helplessness that a minority feels in this country. Where every individual suddenly becomes an authority and issues their own fatwas based on their personal likes and dislikes.

I hope it’s not too late before we realise that religion is a personal issue, between the individual and his Creator.

My having married into a Shia family has not made me any less of a Sunni than I was before simply because I was sure of what I was and still am. My husband and I do debate about religion and what differentiates us, but we do it respectfully, giving rightful accord to each other’s views. We exercise ‘let’s agree to disagree’ very courteously and these discussions leave us with food for thought and are, if anything, quite intellectually stimulating.

Having said that, we also do collectively marvel at the craziness of certain Muharram rituals, especially the designer lawn, linen and cambric collections in solely black and white that are strategically launched a few weeks before Muharram. Or how there’s an hour-long debate about who attends the most majlis’ in a day, who serves the best haleem and how such-and-such was wearing a bright shade of lipstick in Muharram.

All in all, my experience is interesting to say the least. I have many Shia friends married into my sect and I am certain they have their own tales to tell.

Roshan Zamir

Roshan Zameer

Works at a local pharmaceutical company in Pakistan and dabbles in public relations consultancy.

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • unbiased

    very nicely written and SUSHI made my day :DRecommend

  • Vladimir Putin

    Give that girl a cookieRecommend

  • http://naveedtaji.wordpress.com/ Khawaja Naveed Haider

    That is a wonderful article I read so far about the Sunni Shia Harmony. Being a muslim is greater than being a particular sect. Let’s fight for those factors who want to differentiate in different sects of Islam.Recommend

  • Javeria

    you are not even a sunniRecommend

  • LuisCollazo

    Amir Khan the boxer, married a SHIA too.Recommend

  • Altaf

    Im just saying, when the whipping starts with the blades, that really puts me off my chicken donner kebab. That said, the best chicken donner kebabs in my area are made by a restaurant/take-away which is run by a shia. Dont censor this comment, its the truth.Recommend

  • Talha Rizvi

    I’m commenting on Et after a very long period of time today just because of your inspiring tale today. What you did might seem strange today but in our past such union were common. For example Qurutulain Hyder had a shia mother and a sunni father. Most of the Nawab families of India had mixed relations. Ghalib a shia married a sunni. The Shia nawab family of Rampur had marital relation with Sunni Loharu and Najeebabad family. Jinnah’s two sisters were married into Sunni families while Jinnah and his sisters Fatima and Shireen were shias. However in today’s Pakistan marrying a shia or even being suspected of being one is a very serious life threatening sin. After the Bhoja air crash I discovered that my Phuppa( paternal aunt’s husband) had a cousin who had married a shia. Our side of the of the family is Barelvis but that of Phupa’s deobandi but even that didn’t stop this marriage. Our last rites were done according to Hanfi fiqah but she was buried in Wadi-i-Hussain as a sort of compromise. Recently my brother-in-law’s cousin married a shia initially that caused a little problem with her mother telling my mother she was not happy with this but it eventually settles and today she is living happily in Dubai. Murtaza Rizvi(late) of Dawn was married to a sunni, Josh malihabadi belonged to a mixed family. have is some thing to cherish not to be ashamed off.
    @ Javeria: Some thing tells me you are a bigot.
    @ Vladimir Putin: Mr. President please give me one also :PRecommend

  • raw is war

    Shia … sunni, what is the difference? You speak as if you married a Jew.Recommend

  • Indobandi

    Deobandism belongs in India, not here. Shias, Barelvis and most others are cool. Deobandis want to tell us, govt, and army we’re not islamic enough, but cower in fear at the Indian secular establishment.Recommend

  • Hira Kamal

    What a brilliant write-up! Although in some parts the pseudo conservative in me got offended. But i’m a Shia and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with marrying into a Sunni family and vice versa.

    Good human, good muslim, shia/sunni. That’s the order in which a person should be evaluated. There are far too many messed up Shia/Sunni people to judge someones status on the basis of their sect. if you find your soulmate there, then there’s no reason for you to stop.

    Recommend

  • sushi

    A sushi here. I found this amusing :p i’m planning on marrying a sunni girl and i have to assure her everyday that i’m not a Kutter shia :PRecommend

  • JFZ

    FYI – ‘the whipping with the blades’ is highly discouraged by the grand ulema.Recommend

  • nouman

    Awesome and inspirational.
    I bet this news hits the fundos where it hurts most…….Recommend

  • Awais Rana

    Very well written article. I am a Shia And I simply loved the way it has been described. Unfortunatley, not much people think the way the author wrote. I have seen these scenarios till my parents generation. My Mamu’s are married in Sunni Sec- and so is one of my chacha. Those times were when the family’s would look for a ” good” guy or a ” good” girl and sect would come later. But now a days your graded to which sect you belong. And its both ways. From Shias and sunnis also. And I would blame the clerics who have created the distances between the 2 sects. But it all depends on the how you take things. I know people who are married with Christians ( In Pakistan) and are living a happy life. In todays world sectarian hate should be discrimintaed. Charity starts from home…!! In the end 2 thumbs up for your author!Recommend

  • Uzair Rehan

    inter-religion marriages do not make the difference when we modify the real values of religions as per our ownRecommend

  • Iftikhar Ali

    You have got great skills of drama writing. I am sure One day you definitely become a great writer. Good LuckRecommend

  • Amna Sharif

    Thumbs up to the writer for writing this down. And i am so glad she took the decision to do what other would die before doing simply because they cannot accept openesss of perspective.
    Lady, your children will be blessed with a wonderfully open minded perspective and they will (given honest morals) turn out to be better then typical shias and sunnis because they will question and learn to actually value the religious values passed down to them rather then just accepting them as a part of their family culture. And sorry to say, but i am afraid they may feel different and that is what will make them special and so much more necessary in a world like this where people just love being narrow minded and labelling others as kafirs straight away. But Lady, it will all work out for the better. Hang in their and keep the faith. And dont listen to all those who tell you that you made a wrong decision.
    God bless u!Recommend

  • Maverick

    In that case you can even marry a jew or a christian or a Hindu or even a nonhuman. It’d be the same my friend. :)Recommend

  • Steel exorcist

    Their children will be “suju” then.. Excellent article btw. Recommend

  • Kick Boxer

    Aamir Khan has been sleeping around with girls too. And they weren’t exactly Sunni or Shia, haha.Recommend

  • Kick Boxer

    Good point.Recommend

  • Meriam Sabih

    great article and well written! Congrats on your marriage. Wishing you happiness and love! I recently wrote this: “Lessons from Abbas Town: Stick together, whether you are Shia or Sunni” http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/21236/lessons-from-abbas-town-stick-together-whether-you-are-shia-or-sunni/Recommend

  • Just saying

    Good Muslims make good human beings. Not the other way around. Recommend

  • Parvez

    That was an amazing read………if only the rest would think like you’ll.Recommend

  • lol

    the chicken donner isnt though ;-)Recommend

  • Najju

    A very good read :D my nana is shia and my nani is sunni and they celebrated their 50th anniversary recently. The key is learning to respect each other’s views and realizing the fact that every thing your partner practices doesn’t need to have justification. Kudos on writing a great article!Recommend

  • Talha Rizvi

    In line 11 it should read her last rites not our.
    Also the daughter of Ghulam farooq the famous Pakistani politician, industrialist and founder of WAPDA amongst many other institutions married an Urdu-speaking shia who was Qurutulain Hyder’s cousin. Most of relative of Intezar husain are sunni while he is a shia.Recommend

  • Talha Rizvi

    The Naqvi family of Amroha which produced Sadequain, Jaun elia, kamal amrohvi etc was a mixed family with bout Sunnis and shias intermarrying each other. The last nizam of Hyderabad had a shia mother. The maternal family of Anwar maqsood’s wife Imrana was shia. The mother of Mahmood Haroon and Yusuf Haroon the owners of Dawn i.e. Sir Abdullah Haroon’s wife was shia. Najam sethi is married to shia jugnu mohsin who is Begum Abida Husain’s cousin. Begum Abida Husain’s son married tycoon Sir Anwar Pervez’s daughter who is sunni.Recommend

  • RHS

    Absolutely wonderful article. I am so proud of both of you for crossing the imaginary barrier.Recommend

  • logicwins

    “I have reconciled to the fact that our children will grow up Sushis
    (Sunni-Shias). What is more important to both of us is that they turn
    out as good human beings, which comes before being good Muslims, which
    in turn precedes the sect they choose.”

    If the author believe in “good human beings” as the primary criteria, why does she still believes her children should be “Sushis”? Why not leave it up to the children to pick their faith or non-faith when they become adults? Why this insistence on taking on parent’s religion?Recommend

  • Khatmaal/Machar United!

    Very well written, a message of peace, love and coexistence something this country desperately needs!Recommend

  • Nadia Zeeshan

    You never mentioned Namaz which is the actual difference.
    Recommend

  • Amna

    I am sushi myself. I must admit that as a child I was always left confused of who exactly am I. while growing up, despite my parents’ teaching of ‘you are just a Muslim’, we had to put a label. If nothing else the questions arises that ‘which namaz do you follow’. Having said that it has made me a better human, much more tolerant as compared to kattar shia or sunni! More inter-religious and inter-cultural marriages can actually save this country!Recommend

  • tabassum

    AoA, a good article, however, i would like to comment on this ”What is more important to both of us is that they turn out as good human beings, which comes before being good Muslims, which in turn precedes the sect they choose.”” What i feel is, if there is a good Muslim, he is a good human being. Being a good Muslim is more important :) RegardsRecommend

  • Ghost

    The difference is the same when a brahmin marries a sikh..Recommend

  • Ghost

    Well you just gave my mindset on religion a name today “Sushi”…I thank you for that, I am gonna call myself a Sushi if someone doesn’t get satisfied by my usual sentence that I am a MuslimRecommend

  • Minion

    SUSHI here, It’s the hate that has caused others to believe that Shia is another “religion”. I’m proud that I know how to offer both “types” of namaz, attend majalis and organize meelads.

    The only difference between Shia and Sunni is about what happened 1400 years ago after the Prophet (S.A.W). Which is sort of pointless (the religion was complete by then). It’s only the opinion some personalities that should not matter at all.Recommend

  • Asmat Zehra

    Well I have a advice for you, Whenever you plan to write about Islam and Sects, try to study yourself first. This is very sensitive topic and we already have hateful minds for other sects. Second this is your personal life experience it can never apply for all couples, One of my Cousin married to Sunni Girl and you may not beleive she is one of most popular bahu in our family. The reason is they both accepted each other with open hearts and respect all equally. So Marriage is very personal matter whether you are going to marry with Sunni, Shia or Whahai you will have to put some efforts to make your marrige succesful.

    Try to fin another Topic..

    Note: Sorry for English mistakes as i am not so good in english but in Urdu :)Recommend

  • http://peddarowdy.wordpress.com/ Anoop

    Seems like Shias as the primary minorities are really braving it out against all odds.

    Power to the Shia! Recommend

  • uzma dilshad

    Very Well- Written!! Wond erful article. yes we should respect the differences and “agree to disagree” in a courteous way not in a threatening way bcs no doubt religion is a personal issue, between the individual and his Creator. ;)Recommend

  • https://twitter.com/Kamranhayder1 Kamran Hayder

    much needed and well written article. Gonna recommend this to my sunni fiancee :-)Recommend

  • Venkat

    Sushi – wonderful epithet, made my day and there is hope yet for a multireligious worldRecommend

  • Lt Col Imtiaz Alam(retd)

    ET is biased. You did not publish my Post which was pragmatic. It is very difficult to swallow the Truth.Recommend

  • Lt Col Imtiaz Alam(retd)

    “Our last Rites were done according to the Hanafi Fiqah but buried in Wadi i Hussain”. Confused the Angels Munkir Nakir as to how to handle the issue. Very clever.Recommend

  • Haider Ali

    We should be discussing inter-religion marriages and relationships now and we are still discussing the intra-religion marriages. Miserable situation.Recommend

  • poseidonrage

    Honestly speaking, there is not wide difference between shia and sunni apart of that sahaba stuff, so bringing on the children wont effect as parent need to be mature enough to guide them the right wayRecommend

  • poseidonrage

    I belong to a Naqvi family and m proud of it =)Recommend

  • Shadytr33

    O waaoohhh..!!!Recommend

  • Ghostrider

    love ur name bro :)Recommend

  • amoghavarsha.ii

    who cares? you are making it a big issue by writing a blog.
    I am an Indian, I came to know about the sects only when I read in papers about killings between two sects.
    In India I have not heard two mulsim sects fighting each other or specifically killing each other.
    caste fights between Hindus are there but is brutal only in rural areas especially where the zamindari is still popular.

    There is lot of changes going on in india in inter caste marriage, it is happening slowly with and without govt. sponsoring. It will take at least 4~5 generations for us to completely eradicate this caste system.
    If u make caste / sect a big issue, it is equally not getting u any where too.

    For you people also it might take so long too but for that you people should be safe first, without getting killed…Recommend

  • Talha Rizvi

    Dear Imtiaz alam sahib that’s what you gained form these comments? By the way sir that was a spelling error it was about my uncle’s cousin we are interred according to Sunni rites only. Not that I need to explain any thing to you.Recommend

  • hoshiar singh gill

    @raw is war What are you saying? Brahmins are a caste.Sikhism is a religion,They
    have nothing in common,Recommend

  • raja bilal

    I have a friend having parents from each of these sects but i do have my concernsRecommend

  • Gp65

    Brahmins are Hindus. Sikhs are a different religion. So your comparison is misplaced. In any event, i India it is not that uncommon for Hindus and Sikhs to intermarry either .Recommend

  • Ali Hasan

    Awesome Read. Faith in muslims, restored.Recommend

  • sid

    i m shia . but i would never mind offering prayers in sunni way . And most of time i offer my prayers in Suni Mosque .Recommend

  • Peace

    Ideally there should be no need even to say this.
    Any human should be able to marry as per his/her love.Who the hell are others to enforce their decisions.
    But still its required to be highlighted as some civilizations are in medevial agesRecommend

  • Citizen

    thumbs up ! you are one lucky girl . i have seen horrors of being a sushi since quite a few of my close friends took this step and situation worsened after having kids . hope all stays well at your end . our society will take decades to matureRecommend

  • bigsaf

    Apparently sectarian contempt and offensive ‘tanz’ spares neither the living or the dead…Recommend

  • String

    I think with industrialization and urbanization such customs will die natural death. That are dying in urban like people r getting marry without cast and now sect also going low. But it only possible with industrialization. However what else we can do to diminish it will stay.Recommend

  • Mehdi

    Please end your sentence either with a full stop or a question mark. Are you making a statement or asking a question ? Recommend

  • Mehdi

    Recommend this article to her parents and extended family :) you shouldn’t worry about her or you :) Recommend

  • Mehdi

    Let’s not kid ourselves as a Shia myself I strongly believe there is a theological difference between Shia and Sunni Islam. The most important difference in Shia Islam is we attest to oneness of Allah (god) who is just and compassionate. This is the main reason why we have become victim of terrorism.

    I am ok with intra faith marriages as long as 2 clauses are fulfilled in the marriage document :

    1. Neither party should force their theology on each other and conversion is not required.
    2. Children should choose their own faith or choose to follow none.Recommend

  • Mehdi

    @author

    Good topic you chose for your blog. If we don’t discuss this sensitive topic, we would never see each other past our hatred, if we do posses one. I am a Shia myself and had many Sunni friends when I was growing up in secular Bangladesh in 90s, nobody had any problem with me as I was the only Shia in my school along with Christian, Sikhs, Hindus and Buddhists. Mind you went to an international school. But that trend of accepting each other’s faith is slowly eroding as conservative Sunni Islam is slowly creeping into society. We should learn to accept differences in faith, teach our kids to respect those differences , agree to disagree and not resorting to violence to settle our differences. I have been called a kafir for being a Shia and laughed at my caller for being an ignorant rather than venting my anger at them. In Pakistan Shias are being persecuted, killed because of their faith. That’s a sad reality and nobody can deny that. Marry a Sunni or a Shia, but one should also be prepared to face both the good and the bad consequences in a country like Pakistan. I have been living in US for past two decade and mainstream Shias and Sunnis get along fine. Recommend

  • Mehdi

    We should also discuss how about a Muslim marrying people of other faith ? Again love is blind to faith and the color of skin.Recommend

  • Mehdi

    Do you think shias are Muslim ? Do you think Talibans are kafir and terrorist ?Recommend

  • Lt Col Imtiaz Alam(retd)

    Nice to see you back in the fray. These discussions serve no purpose.Recommend

  • Lt Col Imtiaz Alam(retd)

    Why should I judge you. Judge yourself. You seem to have a doubt.Recommend

  • Mehdi

    I asked you a question. Why don’t you answer my question. Recommend

  • Lt Col Imtiaz Alam(retd)

    Those who recite the Kalima & the Shahada & believe in it are Muslims. Why should I think otherwise.Recommend

  • Fatima Shafique

    very well written…..i really appreciate how you presented your thoughts on this matter…i think that we need to finish all the barriers of hate within our hearts and spread peace and lover our Muslim brothers and sisters….whether it be shia or sunni, we shouldnt follow the sect but rather be a Muslim and follow teachings of Quran and Prophet (PBUH) and follow the companions of Prophet(PBUH) and erase all the hatred within…we should break the chains of hatred and live together peacefully.Recommend

  • Imad

    They are both humans. Concept of religion is farce and man made. As people get educated, they will shun this practice and find a better way of living where every human being is equal and people can marry out of choice, not religion. Recommend

  • muhammad danish

    just one thing how did you convinced your parentsRecommend

  • R.I.

    inspirational story i m also planning to marry a Shia….but in my case it looks harder to convince my parents…..plz pray for us.Recommend

  • tn

    Billiantly written. Thumbs up ! I am planning to marry a shia guy. But our families are not convinced at all. How does one co-op with that? I just dont understand how to convince them and i am not ready with the idea of leaving the guy and move on judt because he is shia. Help please. I know a lot of differences come up when you get narried and start living together. And i went clueless when he told me he doesnt believe in ahadith as there isnt any proof of their aunthencity and where do they exist from. I probably need to do more research myself first. But any comments on this please :)Recommend

  • dolly ashari

    Assalamualaikum,

    Im a sunni girl and my partner is shia. We are so much in love and we have exchange a promise ring and plan to get marry next year. We have accepted each other as it is. Im just wondering what is the process that we have to go through before nikah. Can we get marry in delhi or kashmir? im so puzzle cuz i know that at certain country, sunni & shia cant be together.Recommend

  • khushe

    i just want to pray for me because i am going through the same situation…..Recommend

  • belo

    hello, i cannot mention my name but i belong to a sunni family and my cast is SYED. i love a guy who belongs to a shia family. he is extremely broadminded so we made an instant connection. my family has only one objection, that what side will your kids follow. his parents whats his kids to be shia and my parents are not so much fond of the concept of shia grand kids. we are both ready to sacrifice for our parents but when we read the Quran we know that we are not doing anything which is against the rules of Allah. i want to marry him but i don’t know how to convince my parents. i love them so much that i can let him go and marry a sunni man but i know that till i die i will have this regret that i didn’t marry him because of this shia sunni difference. i read your article and it comforted me a lot but still i don’t know how to answer the question about our kids. please help. :(Recommend

  • Muslim

    An absolutely inspiring story. im constantly struggling to convince my parents to let me marry a shia guy. I hope my mother comes across this. stay blessedRecommend

  • Hamid Pasha

    The chronic problem here is that when people
    are ignorant about their religion and are heedless about the laws of Islam,
    they do not care much about the issue of marriage and do not think to ask a
    suitor about his religion and check on him. Rather all their concern is
    about worldly interests and living standards. They accept the one who suits
    them with regard to that, and they ignore his misdeeds, and they reject the
    one who does not suit them, even if he is good and righteous, and fasts and
    prays at night a great deal.

    With regard to your marriage to this Raafidi
    (Shi’i), it is an invalid marriage and is abrogated according to sharee’ah,
    so long as this man believes in the misguidance and heresy that is in
    al-Kaafi (a Shi’i book).

    You and your family must strive for a
    separation between you and him. If this annulment does not come about
    easily, then ask him for a divorce. If he refuses and there is no one who
    can apply the laws of Allaah with regard to this marriage, then you may
    separate from him by means of khula’, giving him whatever he wants of money,
    such as giving up the deferred portion of the mahr, or returning all or part
    of what he gave to you, and thus ransom yourself from him.
    http://islamqa.info/en/111970Recommend

  • Bongolander

    I would like to know more about your experience. I am a shia and marrying a sunni. We want to make sure to avoid all things that could harm the understanding of kids.Recommend

  • Bongolander

    I am in the same boat as you. I think there needs to be an understanding of what each other believes. If there is a disagreement, then there is one.Recommend

  • The Secret Scouser

    this shia girl been onto me for a year and acts all coy and shit, she knew i wore green sunni hat on friday. now i found her in shia meeting[i didnt know b4 but had suspicions due 2 her friends] and know why she was shy! she is pretty & she is hardcore onto me, idk wot to do? now cat is out of bag, i feel even if she convert my in laws will be kuffs man i still kinda like her & i aint banging my head 4 shizzleRecommend

  • Shahmeer

    I think its haram. No matter what generation or year we are living in the fact is you can’t marry a person who think Quran is not appropriate, or use foul language about sahaba R.A, use foul language about Hazrat Ayesha R.A, doing matam….. etc. There is a line between shia and sunni and it will always remain… Madam i love your article.Recommend