Malala returns to Pakistan

Published: November 3, 2013

Malala is back in Pakistan. ILLUSTRATION: JAHANZAIB HAQUE

DISCLAIMER: Malala has not landed in Pakistan. Ignore the mind-blowing realism and true-to-life drawings – this is fiction.

Jahanzaib Haque

Jahanzaib Haque

News buff and Web Editor, The Express Tribune. Jahanzaib tweets @Jhaque_

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • charanjeet maan

    Survived 8 days in Pakistan. A fiction, indeed.Recommend

  • Fahad Khan

    Amazing.. we hate MALALARecommend

  • Talat

    main keray passay jawan – main manjee kithay dhawan! [sad / true]Recommend

  • sb

    I HATE malalalalala. I really do.Recommend

  • Aftab Awan


  • Farwa Manekia

    Much expected. Here in Pakistan, point scoring snaps priority. Amid stands Malala.Recommend

  • Ahmed

    criticizing Malala and criticizing her book are two different issues and must be taken separately!
    is it blasphemous to criticize her book??
    how can she know how women lived in Pak 30 or 40 yrs back??Recommend

  • Ahmed

    I totally disagree with Malala… but I don’t hate her. I hate that mindset which is ab using a young innocent girl for their malicious propagandaRecommend

  • Truth

    Excellent work Jehanzeb. Pakistan is going down the drain with each passing second. Malala would be stupid to return to such a country that has nothing positive to offer; hope no one misguides the poor girl and suggest returning to that country. In fact, every sane person should consider leaving before Imran Khan and his extremist buddies make the country complete hell.Recommend

  • Faraz Talat

    Comic #4 wins the internet.Recommend

  • Parvez

    As a bit of satire its good……..lets hope people are capable of looking at themselves in the mirror and noticing the spirit of Lucifer.Recommend

  • cute man

    Well, you can know anything by reading books.Recommend

  • Noman Ansari

    This is brilliant. A self fulfilling prophecy from the people of Pakistan. As evident from my blog on Waar, it is obvious no one here will actually get it. Recommend

  • Safi Ahmed Memon

    ^ That is more rational.Recommend

  • Hafeez

    Dear writer what do u want to prove??? Pakistanis are not morons and the girl from Swat has lived here and promoted what she wanted without any opposition from people of Pakistan. She was shot by a Taliban guman not by the Pakistani nation. Stop maligning Pakistanis.Recommend

  • dr junaid tipu

    Great masterpiece ……. for the small group of narrow minded pathetic Pakistanis who detest this young brave girl, Jehanzaib has just shown you your real ugly faces….Recommend

  • Faisal

    I even don’t hate or dislike Malala but I do hate her father Ziauddin YusufzaiRecommend

  • Fawaz M. Chughtai

    Fake is Fake… like like toon like toonist. nothing is gonna happen like this BUT!!! such material give advantages to anti-Pakistan elements to speak rubbish about Pakistan. we are capable enough to understand what Malala did and what she is capable to do. she is Innocent.Recommend

  • Fawaz M. Chughtai

    ok get up its enough dreamingRecommend

  • IlovePak

    Oh please spare us from your thoughts. Yes we will definitely want that liberal fachists like you, Norman and the author should leave Pakistan as early as possible and I know where you will be going, India. Coz India suits you guys

    ET, pl allow thisRecommend

  • IlovePak

    Oh please spare us from your thoughts. Yes we will definitely want that liberal fachists like you, Norman and the author should leave Pakistan as early as possible and I know where you will be going, India. Coz India suits you guys

    ET, pl allow thisRecommend

  • ILovePAK

    What you got on WAAR, you deserve it.

    @ author, why you generalising all Pakistanis? You living in Pakistan, earning here but all the time bashing Pakistan you traitor. I failed to understand that what ET is doing only spreading negativity. I have never seen any blog by you guys which projects Pakistan in a positive manner.

    Connivance of ET I believe needs to be checked by our agencies to actually find out the reasons of bashing Pakistan and it’s military.

    I doubt ET shall gona allow this.


  • Ahmed

    so can’t her inference by wrong?? can’t others who lived through these years differ and object to her opinion? is it necessary for every progressive and liberal person to endorse whatsoever she writes and says???Recommend

  • Noman Ansari

    Surprise surprise… ET shall gona allowed this comment.Recommend

  • Amber Tahir Shah

    At first i thought ET got mad , but this is hilarious + Sad at the same time …Recommend

  • Kashif Chaudhry

    Brilliant :)Recommend

  • cute man

    I was replying to your comment that history, that any one can learn by reading books. As far as difference of opinion, its your right to disagree.Recommend

  • Mirza. Waseem Abbas

    hahahaha a Joke close to reality.Recommend

  • Annie

    Whatever happened to her was wrong. The thing that bothers me is why is she being put on a pedestal. This kind of thing happens to people on daily basis. Wouldn’t it be safer for her if she stopped attracting this much controversial attention from all, especially if she does want to come back to Pakistan and take part in Pakistani politics? Hence, why she would write a book and with such a controversial writer is beyond me, if she really is so much concerned with her safety.Recommend

  • Gibran

    Why don’t you start a blog and project Pakistan ‘in a positive manner’? What’s stopping you?Recommend

  • shah

    Very accurate. Pakistan is not a place for brave and righteous people. Take case of Jinnah who was left to die on side of the road, Liaquat Ali Khan who was murdered, Benazir who was murdered and Malala who was shot. Dirty country.Recommend

  • Shekky

    This was funny.Recommend

  • honey

    This is really pure crass!!! shame on you.Recommend

  • gp65

    Hate is a strong word. You hate him for what
    – raising a courageous, patriotic and articulate girl?
    – for keeping a school open in Swat during 2008-09 when very frew people dared to?
    – for writing a well reasoned rebuttal to Rushdie’s book? After all who is your audience that you would like to disabuse of incorrect notions present in Rushdie’s book? – not fellow Muslims – it is others who had read the book and were not sure whether to believe it or not. Whose approach is more likely to influence them in the direction you want – her father’s or those clerics who issued death fatwa?

    ANyway you have a right to hate him if you want to as long as you don’t act upon it and resort to or inspire physical violence to the object of your hate.Recommend

  • AK

    This.was.hilarious. Comic 4 FTW.Recommend

  • Usama Ibrahim

    Excellent :)Recommend

  • Xara

    You are wrong here. Not India bus US ;) they should go thereRecommend

  • Peer

    So true. That tells us what the media bashing can do to a person. They did the same with Musharraf. What is curious is they are not able to condemn the dastardly acts of the terrorist who tried to kill Malala. I guess he was doing a good job according to them. What a shame really that they cannot criticize someone who they fear just as they can never criticize the land lords.Recommend

  • Samra

    brilliant piece of work! thumps up bro! (Y)Recommend

  • oodbalao

    Brilliantly done sir.Recommend

  • Asif

    Malala … One HIT Wonder …
    Right or wrong is a separate debate… Staying sync with our behavior .. no body would be even able to recall her name in an year or two …Recommend

  • Farheen Syed

    Best description soo far…Recommend

  • Cute man

    As far as Pakistani mind set is concerned. ” Dream team” for the pakistani government would be,

    President: Mullah Omar

    Prime Minister: Hamid Gul

    Foreign Minster: Ansar Abbasi
    Religious & Minorities affairs: Malik Ishaq
    Defence Minister: Zaid Hamid
    Information & Broadcasting: Shaid ullah Shaid
    Education: Orya Maqbool JanRecommend

  • Zee

    Children get targeted and shot by the taliban on a daily basis?Recommend

  • Seemal Zaman

    Couldnt have put it better than this!Recommend

  • Anam

    BRILLANT WORKRecommend

  • Maham Saeed

    Clap! clap!Recommend

  • Parvez

    If you meant funny as in……funny, funny. Then that’s the last thing it is.Recommend

  • Supriya Arcot

    Come on , things cant be that bad in Pak for Malala. Please portray Pak in a positive light . The only worry is that she will get sucked in politics. they might make her some junior student political leader. the poor thing , unwittingly she seems to have dug her own grave.Recommend

  • gp65

    Well it was funny funny in my opinion in the same way that Dilbert is. A brilliant satire on a sad state of affairs.Recommend

  • Annie

    Is she acting like a child? If she is a child then she should stop passing statements way beyond her years. What does a child know about the seriousness of politics and religion? That’s my whole point. I guess your tunnel vision missed it and focused only on one statement.Recommend

  • Taimoor Adil

    Hats off to you Jahanzaib Haque! A true story depicted by you… many people are gonna get pissed off at you ;)Recommend

  • Pakistani

    Hilarious but true !!!Recommend

  • Tanzeel Ur-Rehman

    They are under no obligation whatsoever to, as you put it, ‘project Pakistan in a positive manner’. ET, as a media outlet, is free to publish whatever they see fit to and if it’s social commentary from a liberal perspective that they wish to provide, it’s most welcome given how deep the tentacles of the right wing media are rooted into the media scene in Pakistan. This critique of Pakistan, accurate one at that, is far more beneficial than any so called positive projections because it highlights actual issues instead of glossing them over in favor of meaningless two bit achievements that serve no purpose other than to take the spotlight from much more serious issues that need to be addressed immediately.Recommend

  • Batool Ali, author and poetess

    brilliant! facing the truth and reality of the “IF” future is amazing. Good work.Recommend

  • Jibran T. Siddiqui

    Good one if taken as humor, otherwise we all know she’s enjoying citizenship and precious perks abroad so shes not coming back. She will, but after some time and with high security to participate in elections.Recommend

  • Javveria Sharif