The war within and the war outside

Published: September 29, 2013
Email

It is so hard to continually face two bleak fronts simultaneously; the world outside and the world within, both shrouded in a never ending, dismal hopelessness.

It is early morning,

The sky is still dark outside,

The house is silent.

I take my cup of tea

And turn on the computer,

Scanning different news sites,

From around the world.

My eyes run over the headlines,

In that hope of finding,

Some evidence of humanity,

Somewhere.

 

But there is none.

 

The advanced technology,

That brings the world to my fingertips,

By encasing it on the keyboard,

Has yet to find solutions,

Or resolutions,

For the dreary, never-ending disputes,

Between nations and its people.

 

The weary world continues to be at war.

 

I turn off the computer,

And walk to the television,

Hope a little sparked,

That it might bring me,

Better news,

From some corner of the world.

A sliver, a hint of harmony, amity, tranquillity,

–Some semblance of accord–

Somewhere.

I flip channels in near desperation.

 

But the world remains aflame.

 

My cup of tea is empty,

I hear footsteps,

The people in the house are waking up,

I hear someone yell out my name,

I cringe inwardly.

The first of many more such calls,

Like always,

I wish the tone was softer,

A little more loving,

And perhaps a little more respectful,

But the coveted wish remains a wish.

My husband and his family are up,

My family too,

But yet to consider me one of their own.

 

I switch off the television,

And prepare myself for another day,

Of an inner, personal war,

With myself,

To remain steadfast, patient,

And above all, silent.

 

If only the world would stop fighting,

It would make it so much easier,

For me to face,

My personal challenges.

 

It is so hard to continually face two bleak fronts simultaneously;

The world outside,

And the world within,

Both shrouded in a never ending, dismal hopelessness.

Someone is calling me again.

aalia.suleman

Aalia Suleman

A freelance writer and poet who is keenly interested in the status of women in 21st century Pakistan. Her writing also zones in on Pakistan's new social and political status on a redefined global chessboard. She has a masters degree in English Literature and blogs and invites debates at 'Socio-politically Pakistani'. She tweets @aaliasuleman (twitter.com/aaliasuleman)

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.