What do Pakistan and India share? No respect for women

Published: September 5, 2013
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I still find it ironic that nations are waking up to objectifying women – at the cost of women.

They call us independent, free nations. Pakistan and India, after 60 odd years of being ruled by the white man, has been unable to break free of one acute problem: The white woman.

Whether it is by selling our lovely brown women fairness creams and coloured lenses or by introducing at least one beautiful American/British girl into the storyline of your favourite drama/movie, the focus on the white woman is taking a slightly grotesque turn.

The line between fascination and obsession is smudged as I go through the account of a CNN report where a female student from the University of Chicago talks about being groped, harassed and even masturbated at (publicly) during her few months in India. She explains how she was stared at, photographed, stalked, and how her experiences landed her in a psych ward for two weeks. Her roommate even escaped a rape attempt.

My snap response to reading that piece was horror, of course, but also a sad shake of the head: this is what every Pakistani/Indian woman goes through every day.

If an average South Asian woman has the misfortune of not having a car or a driver or an armed guard to protect her from leers and catcalls (or from rape for that matter), she is left to fend for herself.

If an average American/British/Caucasian woman has the misfortune of having the curiosity of discovering India, she should do so with a chastity belt or under a burqa, if need be, because she is going to be stared at. She is going to be stalked. She is going to be followed. She is going to have to dress down, not because she is ashamed of being white, but because she is afraid of being white. She is going to have to grow thicker skin. She is going to have to understand that had she been a white man, she would not have to fear the drool on anyone’s lips.

Earlier in 2004, an Australian woman was murdered and raped in India. White women have been bringing this issue to attention and India’s sexual harassment problem has reached a point where it needs to be addressed, not just for local women but for any woman who wants to pay India a visit. The real problem is that India is not safe for women, period. Once you paint it white, the problem just becomes a fully fledged danger.

And like our boundaries, Pakistan also shares India’s ugly fascination for “gori chamri” (white skin).

You can use a white girl to sell anything in this part of the world. You can use her to sell sex (pornography) or even surma (or insert anything that has nothing to do with the Western culture). Men have been known to proclaim that bedding a ‘white chicks’ is a conquest, no less. The white woman is a fantasy; something that has been built within the minds of Indo-Pak men since adolescence.

The root cause of such pathetic obsessions can be explained by either a subservient mindset or a love for our masters which we will probably take another few decades to get over. It could also be quite simply explained with the rampant problem of sexism and objectifying women.

Any culture, subculture or social structure that objectifies women, the way Indo-Pak cinema and society does, cannot be too far away from such crimes against women. While Indian cinema is filled with women (fair and dark alike) jiggling their hips to latest tunes, few flicks can survive with a dark, non make-upped woman playing a strong, independent protagonist. Once an actresses crosses the tender age of ‘appearing in her twenties’ she is shelved. Men pick on women because society itself gives carte blanche to such atrocious behaviour. We institutionalise violence against women (marital rape is still not considered a criminal offense under the Indian Penal Code) and propagate it by making a woman an object of a man’s lust and not his respect.

We are a society (this includes both India and Pakistan) which considers women inferior and powerless, of lesser brains and even lesser strength, having a lower stature. Marriage, work, friendships, relationships, economics, or politics, men have established a status quo that seems immovable to those who are paying the highest price for it. We are a society that is moving at a snail’s pace when it comes to female empowerment.

This is probably why a 23-year-old woman was raped repeatedly by five men in Mumbai recently. An unarmed, unassuming woman is an easy target. The earlier victim, also a 23-year-old, ‘Nirbhaya’ (as the people sought to call her, meaning “fearless one”) succumbed to her injuries and passed away two weeks after she was raped and then brutally attacked. Protests flared up in India to demand more stringent rape laws. Lawmakers showed movement, human rights activists have been shouting non-stop.

Me? I still find it ironic that nations are waking up to objectifying women – at the cost of women.

Mahwash.Badar.

Mahwash Badar

The author is a clinical psychologist, a mum to two boys and permanently in a state of flux. She tweets @mahwashajaz_ (twitter.com/mahwashajaz_)

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • Sane

    Why you are generalizing and involving Pakistan for the incident happened in India? Such gruesome acts never ever happened in Pakistan.Recommend

  • TheSlam

    Why are you dragging Pakistan into this and painting it with the same brush as India when all you have to quote is examples from India?Recommend

  • http://WWW.dawn.com Deepak

    Heading should be this What do Pakistan and Arabs share? No respect for women .AM i right . we are non muslims why are you dragging us in this mess. Recommend

  • Paste

    @TheSlam:

    Agree. Also blogger is mixing a lot of issues; quite confused blog and mixes up a lot of things- white woman, harassment, rape, harassment of Indians and Pakistani women and cultures and subcultures. It appears like a rant.Recommend

  • N khatoon

    Mahwash,I enjoy your articles,but this one has come just after another blog about the delhi verdict and all the mudslinging that followed in the comments section of a swedish hijab blog/fairness creams blog…
    Maybe we can just cut short to the end of the comments section for this blog also where after 50 comments, pakistanis will call Indians with differing opinions ‘trolls’ and gloat and label us, ‘hindus-tan=rapistan’.Recommend

  • I am a Khan

    If both countries properly practiced Islam, had purdah system, and had islamic teachings ingrained in men, this would not have been the case. Pakistan was merely made in the name of Islam, but Islam was never taught properly to the people.

    You can notice that Malaysians and North Africans are much better in this regard, because of their better Islamic upbringing. Recommend

  • N khatoon

    Mahwash,I enjoy your articles,but this one has come just after another blog about the delhi verdict and all the mudslinging that followed in the comments section of a swedish hijab blog/obsession with fairness blog…
    Maybe we can just cut short to the end of the comments section for this blog also,where after 50 comments, pakistanis will call Indians with differing opinions ‘trolls’,blame bollywood and gloat and label us,’world’s largest rape democracy’ ‘hindus-tan=rapistan’.Recommend

  • Si

    @N khatoon:

    ET has run out of options or blogger are writing after reading each other’s blog. Similar ideas, words, references, and nothing new. Incidentally, even comments would also be trite.

    ET Eds. Find something new and new way of telling stories.Recommend

  • Bilal

    Very well written…
    But, I would strongly disagree with the notion that Women are treated disrespectfully in Pakistan. There are bad people among us, and which country does not have, but that doesn’t mean you drag all of us into this.

    I have been to many different cities, villages of Pakistan, and what I noticed there is that Women are treated with respect & honor.Recommend

  • salman

    its not fair to put Pakistan beside India in rape cases. India is league apart in rapes. In India female gender is not safe even inside mother’s womb. 4, 6, 8, 10 12 year’s rape are the common crimes in India. Pakistan might have different issues but we have not touched that level of sickness. women are more respected in Pakistan then India. Recommend

  • LOL

    india is too big to generalise that india does not respect women…… apart from the north indian belt ….woman are well respected and cared….. there’s nothing like objectifying a woman…. i dont understand the term itself… if u pakistanis think female dancing in a film is objectifying…that explains a lot abt ur thinking…..indian women still enjoy far more freedom compared to a pakistani women…. come and see !!….. sexual harrasment is a worldwide problem……..Recommend

  • Surya

    I think it is essential in both countries that more women gain education and go out and work. Employment provides women with a sense of independence, and also gives more men the opportunity to see them as equal. India has a large educated female working force, but on the other side of it, the country also has a lot of poorly educated men that make life for some of them, tough. In India, it is a social change that is required. In Pakistan it is religo-social conservatism that is propogating the lack of respect for women. The approach each country has to take is distinct, but the end goals, the same. Recommend

  • Amina,Kerala

    The most irritating part for me in this article was the fact that, even intelligent people assume that some problems are South Asian while others are third world, while others are white problem, others are Pakistani problem etc.,

    Abuse against women is a global phenomenon (please and please check UN statistics) – I don’t care if my country is 1% more than your country while other country is ½% more than my country. We all abuse women. (Yes, even Australia, America as much as India or Pakistan).

    It’s like saying racism is an American problem because they have had slaves. As if the rest of the world at that period in history never owned slaves or Skin complex is a brown problem (What about white people who risk cancer to have tanned skin).

    Yes, disrespect is part of the problem but I rather have a disrespectful man not give me his seat than a man who gives me a seat to get a peek under my blouse. (Personal experience).Recommend

  • Anam

    The problem exist on both the sides, only difference is we (Pakistanis) dont admit and the other (read Indians) readily admit and are willing to contribute their part in bringing in changes.

    What do we do ? Absolutely nothing!

    So maybe next time we question our Indian fellows, we might wanna think about our worth and doings.Recommend

  • http://POK darbullah

    Why are you dragging Pakistan into this? In Pakistan, you need four men as witness to prove it and now DNA evidence is no longer accepted. So there is no convictions.Recommend

  • sh(india)

    Stick to ur own country. No need to compare india to pakistan which kills people for blasphemy.

    As an atheist I am atleast safe in india. pakistan and other muslim countries kill atheists.Recommend

  • Naveen

    Good to see a balanced article. Whether one likes to admit or not, By and large the societies on both sides share a lot in backwardness of mindset and in a blind faith in going back to some utopian dreamland of past (which I see as a kind of escapist response to the reality of being left far behind the advanced West in almost all fields). Only difference in case of India (compared to Pakistan) is that it has greater diversity of backward mindsets, so one particular strand of backward mindset can’t claim hegemony over the entire country. Recommend

  • Keen Observer

    For all those who’ve commented saying ‘this is in India, and don’t say the same about Pakistan and Pakistani women get more respect’ just please bother to read up and see what kind of horrors women have to face on a daily basis in the rural areas of Pakistan. The only reason why it never surfaces is because those poor women don’t find the means to voice themselves.

    Grow up and out of this denial! Even if the situation is not as bad as it is in India (which by the way is just your assumption) it IS a problem and everything that the author has described in her blog post is 100% true. She may not have supported everything she said with evidence but the ‘gora’ complex is definitely ingrained and women DO NOT get the respect they deserve in a country like Pakistan that claims to be an ‘Islamic republic’ and conveniently misses the status Islam has granted to women.Recommend

  • Fast

    @sh(india):
    Comparing serves the purpose. Comments pile up and that show the popularity of ET blogs . Even though debate is often remotely connected to i the ssue.Recommend

  • Professor

    Totally agree. In fact, this is a malady in the whole of the subcontinent. After all, our joint culture goes back thousands of years. We didn’t respect women then, we don’t now. Only education can change that.Recommend

  • someone

    @Sane:
    Never happened or never reported? There is a difference. Recommend

  • Parvez

    Mahwash, always like reading you. This time I think you’ve over reached a bit, but anyway it was a thought provoking read.Recommend

  • Lala Gee

    @Keen Observer:

    “Grow up and out of this denial! Even if the situation is not as bad as it is in India (which by the way is just your assumption) it IS a problem and everything that the author has described in her blog post is 100% true”

    Following facts are taken from the Wikipedia entry “Global Rape Statistics” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_statistics#India). I am sure, no other nation on planet Earth beat Indian soldiers in this regard.

    1- Rape cases in India have doubled between 1990 and 2008

    2- 20% of men admit forcing their wives or partners to have sex against their will.

    3- Closely knit family life in India masks alarming sexual abuse of children and teenage girls by family members.

    4- Delhi based organization RAHI says **76% of respondents to its survey had been abused when they were children – 40% of those by a family member**.

    5- India is a destination for child sex tourism, as laws are rarely enforced in such cases.Recommend

  • trolley

    Madam, after reading the article I get the feeling that you are not being sincere with your intentions. Out of the 60 odd lines only 5 were devoted to prevailing conditions in Pakistan , the rest were all related to India.

    If you are interested in India bashing through this , then you should have gone the whole hog and only projected how bad India is and given a suitable heading.Nobody would have stopped you from vomiting your hate bile over ET which is after all a Pakistani news site. Why this charade?Recommend

  • Anon

    @Lala Gee:

    How about this one

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RapeinPakistanRecommend

  • gp65

    I usually really like your articles Mahwash. The heading is in fact correct. There are problems in India and Pakistan with regards to women’s empowerment – thus far I can agree. But the devil is in the detail. Many of the details you supplied are ones I do not agree with.

    1) Yes rape is a problem in India and this problem is acknowledged in India by civil society and media who are also forcing the politicians to respond (by changing the law) and forcing the police to become more responsive. More importantly the dialog is changing from the woman’s clothes, conduct and character to the man’s conduct and character and the government’s role in providing adequate policing. I have no desire to be complacent because the problem is bigger in other countries but since you seem to imply that the number of rapes in India is much higher than other countries, I would like to point out that rapes per 100000 in India is lower thanWestern coutnries by an order of magnitude. Pakistan however does not report rape numbers and when there is barely 1% conviction rate for rapes due to the evidentiary requirements plus the stigma which attaches to the victim, people will not report rape. I would like to ask you. What is likely to reduce the problem – acknowledging it and working on resolution or sweeping it under the carpet?

    2) No question that there is female foeticide in India and it is shameful. Indians acknowledge it. There was a law against it for close to 20 years which was flouted but increasingly there is focus on implementing the law plus empowering women politically, socially, economically to reduce the son -preference which is the root cause of this problem. If you think however that such a problem does not exist in Pakistan you are mistaken. IT maybe to a slightly lower degree but not much lower. In India there are 943 women per 1000 men asper 2011 census. Pakistan has of course not had any census in the last 15 years but based on surveys conducted, it appears that sex ratio is 941 women to 1000 men. If you are able to find a different ratio, please post it.

    3) In many other areas women in India have far more freedom. Wome’s literacy in Pakistan is 36%, as per 2011 census it is 65% in India. Gender gap in literacy in Pakistan is 28% and it is 16% in india. It maybe true that only women in chauffer driven cars can freely move about i Pakistan – you know your country best. But in India you will see women unescorted by men confidently going about their business using public transport or their own personalised mode of transport (scooter, moped etc.). Workforce participation of women in India is also much higher than Pakistan leading to greater economic independence. So is political participation. At local government level, there are 1 milion elected women in India. In Pakistan there are areas where women are not even allowed to vote and thepolitical parties themselves reach an agreement to this effect. Common law in India gives a girl child equal rights over heriditary property as a male child. Evidentiary value of a woman’s evidence is also not half that of men. I am sure you are aware of Pakistan’s laws in both these aspects.

    4) Most importantly media and law enforcement support in India is firmly behind women’s empowerment. When politicans or fake religious leaders make misogynistic statements, media makes a big deal about them and shames them. We know what the response was to Mr. Zehri’s statement in Pakistan don’t we? When a khap panchayat in Haryana (similar to your jirgas) made a rule barring women from that village from wearing jeans (in the aftermath of Delhi gangrape) – the high court immediately ruled that khap panchayat’s edict was illegal. But when your jirgas make rulings about karo kari, vanni etc. it seems your courts and law enforcement are afraid to step in.

    Again, there are issues in India related to women’s empowerment – serious issues. But I see an open dialog to acknowledge and address the issues. I feel today is better than yesterday for Indian women and tomorrow will be better than today. Do you have the same confidence?Recommend

  • Aim

    Forget about this website, even the ‘white’ websites had been writing articles over articles over articles about gang rapes of not just locals but of foreigners, how most of them died, escaped, nothing of this sort every happened in Pakistan, in India the websites are full of it, the indian media is full of it!

    About Pakistan, I lived in Rawalpindi, Islambad, Lahore & been to Karachi. I barely came across any gruesome gang rape and insanity – like that of India – YES! there had been intensely voilent incidents in general here – but there is still alot of respect for women here – Pakistan is dragged in here Miss. Writer :)Recommend

  • http://vancouver Brookside

    @Lala Gee:
    It’s good article by author . The question here is not India or Pakistan but status of women in both the countries. For your every statistics about India I can easily give more statistics about Pakistan that its doing worse than India, but I do accept your statistics about India being not nice to women not only me but most of Indians do accept it . The fact that we do accept it and not trying to show ourselves better than Pakistan shows our willingness to correct this problem . On other hand you can continue this mud slinging towards India and project Pakistan as very model and ideal nation towards women. Pigeon can close its eyes on seeing approaching cat imagining it won’t be eaten by cat but ultimately cat(social problems) will devour the pigeon. Hope that E.T will publish it as mostly they don’t like any counter arguments towards any Pakistani. Recommend

  • gujranwala789

    I am really fed up of blogs involving indiaRecommend

  • Pradhan

    @TheSlam:
    @Sane:
    @Lala Gee:

    You guys should visit below page:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RapeinPakistan

    @Sane & @TheSlam

    Just for you guys, I am quoting few lines coz Only someone who found his/her happiness by being ignorant can say something like “Why you are generalizing and involving Pakistan for the incident happened in India? Such gruesome acts never ever happened in Pakistan.”
    .
    According to a study by Human Rights Watch, there is a rape once every two hours and a gang rape every eight hr.
    .
    According to Women’s Studies professor Shahla Haeri, rape in Pakistan is “often institutionalized and has the tacit and at times the explicit approval of the state

    Example is: Mukhtaran Bibi case and you guys should read the verdict too….

    In India atleast except accused everybody condemn it. Recommend

  • Ghulam Noor Jehanian

    I just dont understand what the author intends to say over here. She keeps listing events of bigotry that women are subjected to in INDIA, women who were raped and tortured or either in INDIA and then just states pakistani women too.

    I being a Pakistani have myself witnessed many instances where women here are given respect and are dealt with love care and humanity. In some cases I myself have noted that women are even given preference over men. The family places where one could not enter if he is not accompanied by family, the seperare ladies section per say in the buses here at pakistan and many more. infact, I being a man, have sometimes encountered great problems of fiting in and whatnot due to the preference women are given here.

    plus this whole article is as vague as it gets. why stereotype pakistani people ?? technically, the article doesnot stick to its point in itself.

    and yes, unbiased, impartial education results in a morally fit society and shud be backed if a country like india has to see itself free of the rape culture that has been well established over there for a long time now.Recommend

  • Faruq

    It’s a shame this discussion has been hijacked by butthurt Indians and Pakistanis who don’t seem able to admit our country also faces a similar problem. All of you should grow up. Women in both, India and Pakistan face issues with rape, being stalked, groped in public, etc…

    Instead of criticising each other so much and saying “we’re so much better than Pakistan!” or “these things only happen in India”, we should shut up and at the very least improve our own personal behaviour towards others instead of whining in the comment section.Recommend

  • http://www.pltacademy.com Travel_Tart

    They share one more thing…
    .
    Hate filled comments about each otherRecommend

  • Farhan

    Please don’t include Pakistan in this. We have taken enough flak for honor killings in our time. if such a thing happened in Pakistan it would be all over the news in every freaking country in the world.Recommend

  • MaakiAnkhIndian

    @Deepak:
    Ignorance has no limit and it is evident in your statement….Recommend

  • MaakiAnkhIndian

    Been to India couple of times and I must admit the ordinary men in India needs a lot of education and grooming with respect to how to treat females…Recommend

  • Humza

    @Keen Observer: No one is denying that men stare, behave inappropriately or would be even tempted to grope not only Western women but women in general if they are wearing clothing or things which attract men in Pakistan; For that matter any Muslim country not just Pakistan where foreign women are seen as sexually permissive as my American friends told me after their trip to Egypt last year. The difference is that the situation in Pakistan is nowhere what you see in India and that is why your unfair generalization of two different countries and different cultures is offensive. Just imagine how men and women would react to any woman being raped in broad daylight in Lahore – I can’t ever remember this happening. People would be up in arms because despite all the sexism inherent in Pakistan and Muslim countries, wanton rape of women is not the norm but a rare exception. Rapes happen daily in Indian cities on an altogether different scale. Compare the rates of rape in major Indian cities and you will see that Pakistani cities do not enter the equation. By the way, do you think fair skinned women in KPK, Kashmir, Gilgit etc are all being raped because some of them are blue eyed and blonde haired? I don’t think so; The issue has to do more with the distorted attitude 3rd World men adopt of western women after watching Western media and movies.By all means, speak out against the ill treatment of women everywhere but don’t lump India’s problem with rape of women with Pakistan.Recommend

  • Chulbul Pandey

    @all the posters:
    All of you on either side of the border, please accept my standing ovation – clap clap clap! You guys are real heroes of humanity.
    .
    Lets see – Acid throwing incidents are increasing against women in both countries. In some parts of Pakistan, women are not even allowed to vote or get education. Women in India are killed for dowry: http://www.dawn.com/news/1040722/one-woman-dies-every-hour-in-india-over-dowry-report. There have been multiple gang-rape incidents in India. In Pakistan, women can’t even prove a rape. Honor killing, female fetus abortion, eve teasing….. Women in both the countries have to face a lot of social and security related issues.
    .
    But rather than appreciating an honest attempt by the author to raise such an important issue, every attempt is being made to turn the discussion into another shouting match. One gentleman even went so far as to take the “opportunity” and start preaching Islam.
    .
    Can’t we rise above petty egoistic non sense, for once and stand united?
    .
    @Author: Mohtarma, may your Allah protect our women. I am praying to my lord Krishna to come and save our women. We, the mere mortal men of south Asia have failed the fairer sex again and again. We need divine intervention now. Thanks for raising the issue.
    .
    Sorry, if I offended anyone. Reading the comments section was too frustrating this time around.Recommend

  • Gap
  • Gp65

    ET mods – is there a reason my comment was trashed when it was backed with facts and logic?

    I like your style Mahwash and I even agree with your title that Pakistan and Indi a have a problem in how women are treated. But I do differ with some specifics.

    No Indian would deny that rape is a problem. Nor would any. Indian including me seek to be complacent by pointing to how much more prevalent the problem is in Australia, UK, USA and Sweden though it is many many times more in these countries. But when you ignore these facts as well as the strong response of civil society and media who have forced legislature and police to take notice, then you are being unfair. Also while pointing out facts about India you forgot to mention that less than 1% rape cases in Pakistan result in a conviction due to the evidentiary requirements in rape cases. For those that claim that 4 men are needed to testify only in case of adultery and not rape, please check the latest ruling by council of Islamic Ideology.
    Female foeicide is a shame. In India we recognize it. The laws had made even the act of disclosing the child’s gender. Illegal over 18 years back but clearly the law was being breached. Now there is focus on mole mending the law and also improving the status of women in society economically, politically, socially so as to reduce son preference which is the root cause. Is there any discussion about this problem in Pakistan? After all the gender ratio in India as per the last census is 943 women o 1000 men and in Pakistan this is 941 women to 1000 men. Considering that average life expectancy of women in Pakistan ( as in India) is higher than men, how do you suppose this kind of gender ratio occurs? Have you thought about it?
    Besides the above issues India is better off than Pakistan in most other metrics including maternal mortality rate, women’s literacy, gender gap in literacy between women and men, participation rate in the workforce, Total fertility rate, mobility (access to public transport as well as low end personalized mode of transport such as scooter and moped) . Since you were referring to both countries and referred to many aspects of India’s legitimate problems, perhaps you might have mentioned these aspects also? Also 2.3 million kids are out of school in India amongst those between the age of 6 and 14. Half are girls or around 1.2 million. In Pakistan 6.7 million kids are out of school out which 2/3 are girls I.e. 4.4 million are girls. Just think despite having 6 5 times the population, India has 1/4 the number of girls out of school.

    4 . When a khap panchayat in Haryana (similar to your jirga) ruled in the wake of the December Delhi riots that girls from their village could not wear jeans, immediately this edict was declared illegal by the Indian courts. However when the jirgas in Pakistan give rulings on karo Kari, vanni and so on, no law enforcement agencies dare to interfere.

    Summing up, due to the nature of dialog in India where there is increasingly lesser and lesser tolerance for these oppressive acts, I have seen that today is better than yesterday for Indian women and tomorrow will be better than today. Do you have the same confidence?Recommend

  • Kappa

    @I am a Khan:

    According to recent studies, secular societies have lower rates of violence and teenage pregnancy.

    Top of the class, in both atheism and good behavior, come the Japanese. Over eighty percent accept evolution and fewer than ten percent are certain that God exists. Despite its size – over a hundred million people – Japan is one of the least crime-prone countries in the world. It also has the lowest rates of teenage pregnancy of any developed nation. Recommend

  • athar

    -what a load of Rubbish blogging.
    -Like all other comments. Why was Pakistan dragged into it. Seriously!!! Don’t just write for the sake of it.
    -With all these rubbish feminist blogs written on ET, not one of these bloggers would know there legal share in inheritence(point being, know your rights instead of just bashing society generally).
    -Oh and why do these blogs blame MEN??? Your GENDER raises us up. Yes that’s you!!! You become the mothers who teach us(Meree bahoo te goree honee chahiyay and stuff like that).
    -Women and men will never be equal, they are similar but never equal and this is the law of nature.Recommend

  • http://[email protected] Nasir

    Excellent article, but the fact remains the same until our government’s pass some new laws regarding women rights!! on the other hand, im amazed to see that people who forget that they have women in their houses as well, come up with an arguments of defending the title of their country against neighbors. Islamic or unislamic, women should be respected where ever they go!!Recommend

  • Fudge

    @I am a Khan:
    Just to let you know, there is no official pardah policy in Malaysia. Their people are free to wear whatever including the foreign tourists who enjoy their islands in whatever they seem fit and nobody gives a hoot. Had it been Pakistan, people would have been shouting this promotes nudity, vulgarity, destroys “Islamic upbringing”, et cetera. Now you do praise Malaysia, so don’t backtrack your words. Nothing against pardah, just mentioning facts. Recommend

  • Faruq

    What this comment section seems to prove is that Indians and Pakistanis will keep ignoring important problems, just so that they can take pot-shots at each other. Both countries can be horrible to women and this behaviour is shameful.Recommend

  • Kappa

    @ Author: Please ask mothers (women) in Pakistan why they want gauri (fair skin) girls for their sons.Recommend

  • Sameera

    @gp65:

    You will write a better post. Write on it.Recommend

  • withUOnThat

    @Travel_Tart:
    U deserve more thumbs upRecommend

  • Ajay

    Mahwash:

    Your white skin bias charge against men is not just. I think men will go for any skin color- brown, white or black for 2 reasons -a)as long as girl meets their broad requirements- for example it could be slender & good looking, w/straight hair, intelligent & sensitive b)Secondly, variety always appeals. Unfortunately our civil laws allow only 1 spouse, otherwise, I hazard a guess, men wouldn’t mind (as with you Muslims), going for equal distribution in skin color. In addition to skin color, there is difference in mannerisms, sound of voice, etc.; that newness factor alone adds to attractiveness.

    I have seen Asian divorced women go for white and black men alike. I do not know if they are doing it as a reaction to their men leaving them for a white woman. It is generally difficult to find black women with the above characteristics. Recommend

  • Gp65

    @Sameera:
    Thank you for your kind words.Recommend

  • Ajay

    ET Moderator- what is wrong with my other posts- 2 replies and 1 new?
    If you find anything objectionable, just remove it. I can’t see what was objectionable.Recommend

  • Keen Observer

    @Lala Gee: even if i say you’ve proved your point (btw just to let you know, wikipedia ia not regarded as an authentic or reliable source) the point that i was trying to make was not that its not a big prob in India, it was the fact that just because the crimes against women in Pakistan don’t come to light amongst other things that doesn’t mean women are safer out here. Women face all sorts of crime imaginable on a daily basis even in Pakistan.Recommend

  • http://www.rvel-zahid.blogspot.com Rvel

    @Sane:
    Are you in your senses? Or you can’t face the reality? This is a general ignorance in our society who just want to listen good news.
    There have been plenty of reports on television of woman being buried alive after raping them. Don’t you know about the Mukhtara Mai caSe?

    I think lack of education, illiteracy, strange things being taught to pupils and failure of law enforcing agencies promotes these vulgar activities and boosts ill mentality to people do their filthy works.Recommend

  • nikhil manek

    As a cosmopolitan guy, i beleive both men should be given equal status, complete freedom to live their life in their own way & complete security as well. All well meaning people should support campaign for women empowerment, breast cancer etcRecommend

  • Insaan

    @Ajay: My posts are missing too.Recommend

  • Hassan

    Disappointed when i saw my comments were not posted in the comments..ET only post those comments which contain the views against Pakistan, Paki men or islam. sorry to say ETRecommend

  • Dailybeast

    @Hassan:

    ET is living in a bubble. Concerned about ratings and audience. And happy in a belief that it is touching bold topics. But these topics are only beings dealt in a trite way and with masala of INdia and PakistanRecommend

  • WomenRule

    Ok was this about the rights of white women or women in general by the way? Recommend

  • Tia

    The comments are extremely surprising. Disrespect towards women is a global phenomenon. It does not matter what the rate of rapes per country is. The fact that rates exist points to the fact that rapes are taking place and whether it’s one girl among thousands who’s getting raped or all thousand girls are getting subjected to the torture the fact remains the same: It’s rape. It’s taking away a piece of you without your will. And why is that? Misogyny, treatment of women as subordinates, misinterpretation of religion, cultural influences, so on and so forth.
    Great article!Recommend

  • nabil

    Another Pakistani liberal auntie unleashing her frustration and rant, caused by her own insecurities, against Pakistani men on ET. Such a sexist article.

    Why dont you frustrated aunties first look at your own actions and then make such hate filled judgements against your country men. From living like queens, yes in PAKISTAN, sitting on your thrones in your banglows, torturing your MALE servants, bossing your MALE drivers, treating your MALE shop keepers like some 3rd class people by acting stuck up who are ready to throw a tantrum the moment they hear something they dont like, playing the role of ‘bholi helpless woman’ during a car incident while the bystanders beat the crap out of the MALE driver for “misbehaving” with a “WOMAN” and so many other countless areas these pakistani women taken advantages and exploit the opposite sex.

    But no, why should such privileges that Pakistani women take for granted be highlighted? Since its their god given right because of all the “hardships” (god knows what imaginary problems they have amongst their own kind) they have to endure in a country like” Pakistan”.

    Maybe I should make a documentary on how these poor men are being mishandled by women in Pakistan. But you dont hear the men complaining and whining.

    Learn to treat these people with respect and maybe God will release respect for you in return and stop taking things for granted especially when you have never gone through these problems your selves.
    Come rant on ET when these men stop respecting you.Recommend

  • saadiya

    @TheSlam:
    i hope that you have an example in sumbul. Pakistani men are just the same . See the ones who go abroad to western countries – they change their name from Adnan to andy, and start looking for hookers. Examples are plentyRecommend

  • ayesha

    All of you who have a problem with being lumped with India and have said that this does not happen in Pakistan. Please get a reality check! The recent incident of a 5 yr old girl raped and left outside Ganga Ram Hospital, Lahore is not the 1st such heinous crime committed in Pakistan. Its only the one that the media has chosen to highlight. Recommend