Can I please please please blog on ET?

Dear blog team, you can send me 100 sugar coated emails telling me how much my piece sucks but I won't back down!

Call me a wannabe or a passionate writer who wants to break into a robust blogosphere sprawling across Pakistan; either way, I am shameless and relentless to the core. I will keep on coming back again and again, no matter how many times I get this message from the moderators:

“Hi,

Thank you for your interest in The Express Tribune.

Having read your post, we feel as though it doesn't quite fit our section. Thus, I regret to inform you that we will not be running this particular piece. Please write to us on a different topic. Thank you for your consideration.

Kind regards,

XXXXXXXX”

Such messages come in all shapes, forms and sizes from ladies of different shapes and sizes (going by their profile pictures). One of the pearl of wisdom that I received from their side was:

“We received your blog and I regret to inform you that we will not be running it. We are looking for more positive pieces for August 14. Also the opening is very confusing, almost like a tongue twister. Thanks for your consideration. We hope you will write to us on a different topic.”

Here is another one:

“Having read your post, we feel as though the topic is good, but it falls short in execution and analysis. Thus, I regret to inform you that we will not be running this particular piece. Please write to us on a different topic. Thank you for your consideration.”

Someone put it this way:

“I regret to inform you that we will not be taking your blog, the reason being we’ve already carried two posts on Aamir Liaquat. You write well and we do hope that you will send us pieces on different topics.”

Others in this manner:

“Thank you for writing in to us. I wanted to let you know that, though your blog post is good and makes a very valid point, I regret to inform you that we will not be running it as we have already accepted another very similar post.”

With rejection pouring in thick and fast from the opposite sex, I soon realised that I have become a male chauvinist. It is one thing to be snubbed by the male species as compared to being rejected by a lady.

I must admit, at first I showered a whole vocabulary of cuss words on the blog desk for not entertaining my posts only to realise later that the blogs they select are far superior, well written and/or apt for the occasion. And, that I believe was a learning curve for me to improve my skills while writing for my personal blog.

Despite being rejected on a number of occasions I still incessantly write to The Express Tribune blogs as they get me hooked with occasional remarks like:

“You write well!”

Or healing my failure with a mellow:

“Have a nice day!”

Another thing that I noticed during the phase of submitting my blogs on various blogging platforms across Pakistan is that in comparison with the rest, the team at The Express Tribune blogs expeditiously reply to a random writer and give the occasional valuable advice for improvement to boot.

Not that I want a job at ET, as I have a lot of things to do in life but I want to sincerely thank Miss ‘Z’, Miss ‘I’, Miss ‘E’, Miss ‘B’ and other ladies working at Express Tribune blogs who haven’t yet had the privilege of rejecting my piece, for developing a progressive blogging community that encourages new ideas and justifies freedom of speech in letter and spirit.

Being an ardent follower of Malcolm Gladwell’s philosophy of ‘the 10,000 hours rule’, I believe I have got my work cut out before I can realise my dream of contributing for the coveted Huffington Post.

If this piece by any chance gets published then I have a long gratifying speech prepared to flatter the ET blog team.

Otherwise, as usual I would resort to my typewriter to jot down new ideas, finding solace in Quaid-e-Azam’s famous quote on this Independence Day:

“Failure is a word unknown to me.”