Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), I am willing to die for you, but not live like you

Published: January 25, 2013

I love to raise havoc on the streets and have long forgotten your message of peace and education. PHOTO: REUTERS

This post is a work of satire.

This is the story of an average Pakistani.

I lose my temper at the drop of a hat and end up saying really nasty things to my friends and family. I also back bite a lot about people who support me, employ me and are my friends. I use a lot of swear words and do not think twice before spitting pan, throwing trash or even taking a leak in a corner in public.

I am usually the first one to point out other people’s faults and mostly the last to admit my own. I have pronounced my grandmother dead seven times; the first four times I wanted a day off from school and the other two times, I did not want to go to office.

The one last time she actually did die.

I have made a lot of my female friends and peers uncomfortable because of my sexist views and I most certainly have also objectified women.

But then again, I condone a society which accepts a rapist as its own more easily as opposed to a rape victim.

In fact, I cannot say for sure if any woman besides my own mother and sister feels safe trusting me. I do not think my wife has the right to decide how many children she should have or whether she should study or work after marriage.

While shivering in this chilly winter, I judge the intentions of the half naked child begging for money claiming that he is hungry.

I hate the fact that my boss does not get that I need  leave because my mom is unwell and I really do not get why my driver also has to take a leave because his wife is unwell – he must be making an excuse just to chill at home.

I also need to give gifts to my new friends on their birthday but I am sure my cook – who has been taking care of me since I was a child – can use my dad’s old clothes.

I condemn the corrupt government and bureaucracy, but am the first one to suggest the Traffic Police to take bribe whenever I run a red light, which appears to be a national hobby.

I hate all politicians, but I will vote for the one who either belongs to my ethnicity or my sect. I never have and most probably never will read his manifesto.

Similarly on religious issues, I associate credibility to the gentleman with the longest beard and who prescribes to the same conditions of loving Allah (SWT) and the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and his companions and his family members as my father does.

I never really read the whole Quran or any of the books on Hadith with translations. Maybe I did when I was under ten years of age, but when I actually grew old enough to form personal views and perspective, I did not bother reading it again.

Accordingly, I love calling the other sect Kafir because that automatically makes me a Momin.

I also hold a personal grudge against certain ethnicities without any cogent reason, even though I continue to make friends with or be employed by people belonging to those ethnicities.

I refuse to live or even learn to live within my means.

I love using the word “haram” for everyone driving a more expensive car than mine.

I proudly declare myself a citizen of a country which made all laws subject to Islam and enforced it in such a way that it made minorities scared to even question these laws without fearing for their lives.

I raise havoc on the streets, seeking justice for Aafia because she is a Muslim and I celebrated the murder of the man who wanted to protect Aasia because she was not.

I publicly love abusing America and the West for their drones and conspiracies, but I do not even secretly protest my country’s dependence on their aid and goodwill; in fact, I want an American passport and I do not want Americans to stop supplying us F-16 because we need them to take down India.

I love vandalising public and private property whenever I am enraged, even if I am angry because the public is suffering, which ironically is mostly the case.

In every aspect of my life, I myself insult your memory but still I proclaim that:

“Namoos-e-Risalat per jaan bhi qurban hai.”

Dear Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), I would love to die for your honour any day but strangely I am not willing to make an effort to live like you for a single day.

I hope you still keep praying for your Ummah; God knows we need it.

This post is a satire meant solely for entertainment purposes. 


Jibran Nasir

A lawyer and civil and political rights activist. He is the co-founder of Elaj Trust, Pakistan For All and Never Forget Pakistan. He tweets @MJibranNasir (

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • Hamza A Khan

    This was a very good topic to write on. Unfortunately, the writer has often strayed from the core line of thought, and tried to focus on too many things at once. Again, great idea but could have been better done.Recommend

  • stranger

    Awww these things apply to us Indians too.Recommend

  • Furqan

    It is an irony. We all are going through the same phase. Recommend

  • http://Brisbane,Australia Riaz Khan

    Beautifully said and sadly very true for Pakistanis!Recommend

  • Asad A.

    Spot on! Recommend

  • Ahmer Qureshi

    Bat dil ko lagi yaar. Recommend

  • Hira

    Excellently done. Sadly, you should get ready for haters. Not everyone understands irony and satire. Recommend

  • Anum

    Loved it, through and through. This is the moment of truth, of honest reflections. We need to change, I NEED TO CHANGE. Perhaps, now is the best time. Recommend

  • Abbas

    Great work Jibran… it is an eye-opener… May Allah give all of us the understanding.. Recommend

  • Mariam Khan

    Very true and very well written.Recommend

  • Anas Shafqat

    Very well written. Hopefully the haters would take a moment to understand this post, before they start spewing hatred!Recommend

  • Sunara Nizami


  • Nisar Hussain

    great piece ya its realty of whole pakistaniRecommend

  • Soraya Aziz

    A strikingly true and honest depiction of us Pakistanis!Recommend

  • Saman

    Really nice article, didn’t agree more with th author.Recommend

  • Zoya Naqvi
  • Sana Hameed Baba

    Good one.Recommend

  • Jehanzeb Naeem Khan

    May Allah save Islam from Pakistan.Recommend

  • diep

    so proud of youRecommend

  • Sidrah Moiz Khan

    Just loved this blog. Read it till the end without batting my eyelid for even once. Wish people have the capacity and the ability to understand it. God bless you!Recommend

  • Syeda Jafri

    What a dilemma! Unfortunately this is sooo true!Recommend

  • Ahmed Ali

    No haters on religion as yet. Pretty surprising, Jibran. Its a miracle!Recommend

  • Ahmed Ali

    No hates of religious as yet. ET, losing the touch I guess.
    Well done, Jib.Recommend

  • Asad

    It’s pretty easy, you know, once we ourselves declare something to be unethical and wrong, our souls would refrain from committing such acts and even if we mistakenly do so, the guilt and the repentance prevents it from happening again. It is no rocket science, it is all so easy, but it happens when we decide. Nice read.Recommend

  • Qasim

    Every word of what you wrote is true. This should be translated in urdu and printed on the walls in every city and town in Pakistan.

    Great work. Keep writing and exposing the hypocrisy that is being projected as Islam.Recommend

  • observer

    I raise havoc on the streets, seeking justice for Aafia because she is a Muslim and I celebrated the murder of the man who wanted to protect Aasia because she was not.

    Telling it like it is. Stay Safe.Recommend

  • Dee

    Haters are busy attending Milaads :)Recommend

  • I am a responsible and civilized citizen of Pakistan

    Well-written. This is the irony in our society and we Muslims are mislead by false conceptions of what love with the prophet actually is. May Allah enlighten us with guidance towards the right path. AmeenRecommend

  • Mariam Jamal

    Jibran Nasir, you simply impressed me. Can’t agree more. I loved your prayer in the end. May Allah bless you, Ameen. Recommend

  • Xari

    Im sorry this is an overly biased and naive representation of an Average pakistani. Seems like Mr Jibran Nasir doesnt really get out there and converse or interact with the average pakistani. I am not any kind of apologist but this is complete rubbish at the least and utterly amateurish. Please stop trying to represent the people of Pakistan. Recommend

  • Mohammad Jibran Nasir

    Thank you for the kind response guys. I regretfully admit that I indulged or continue to indulge in 80% of the activities mentioned above. I’ll start by not littering the streets any more. Hope we all find our own ways to start trying to improve ourselves. For more from me please visit Recommend

  • Pessimist

    For Xari:

    Well then, why don’t you tell us about an average Pakistani? I’m curious to know.. Recommend

  • Omer Aziz

    Now that brought a tear to my eye. Everyone please take a moment to read and reflect on yourselves. Pakistan is turning into a culture of jahalut. We need to snap out of this mentality before it is too late.Recommend

  • Asad


  • http://[email protected] Truth is stranger than fiction.

    I am glad that Express Tribune publishes the truth and nothing but the truth. Our nation is made
    up of bigoted, hypocritical, coward, self-righteous, extremists and intolerant people. Ours is also the founders of Taliban, yet we are so hypocritical, that we expect others to believe that we have suffered under Talibanization the most. For the most part of our independence we have been promoting terrorism, in different formats, under different names, under different stories, under different disguises, thinking we have the right to do so, under the garb of our ideology. Now when we are unable to face the truth of the matter, we are crying for outside help. No cricket team wishes to visit this country, we beg Bangladesh to send some team or the other. We celebrate murderers, like the person who murdered Salman Taseer is hero to many millions in this nation. With the kind of values our nation has, have we crossed the point of no return???. Recommend

  • sameer

    @jibran @observer:
    u should first probe into the matter before quoting it here in this manner.. humanity without any doubt is above at all but there are other matters as well..i would suggest u to first inquire that matter deeply..

    other issues no doubt exist but whether in majority that needs to be considered.. every kind of people exist in a society u cant tag whole of the nation because of few illiterates.. Recommend

  • sameer

    arent u an average pakistani ..what about ur self..take a look n decideRecommend

  • Shamy

    Eye-Opener !Recommend

  • I am a responsible and civilized citizen of Pakistan

    @Jabran Nisar; This will be a good move if you start the change from within you and no doubt this write up is your good contribution and message to society. God bless You!Recommend

  • Parvez

    That was an effective way of saying……….we are hypocrites.Recommend

  • Tariq

    exceptional!!! good job. if we all start thinking this way. thank you JibranRecommend

  • gp65

    Well written. Applies to people of all faith and whoever (in whatever part of the world practices the type of hypocrisy described in this blog).
    If the religious books are used as a guideline to be kind to those less fortunate, be honest and upright and do one’s duties with sincerity, there would be no problem. The problem arises when it is used for spreading intolerance, hatred and judging each other based on compliance with rituals rather than the actual intent of the faith.Recommend

  • Anam sohail

    Such words r directly from the heart for our sensless souls. Hats off man!Recommend

  • Murtala Muhammad

    Dear Jibran. I have never read something so pure and straight from the core. You truly are enlightened. Stay blessed and please keep writing. We need people like you in this rabbit hole. And your title alone has enough grasp to Tput any wise mind into a spin. Once again excellent. Recommend

  • ishtiaq_uk

    Not often I share any blog with friends on FB…..but this one was well worth sharing! Hit the nail on the head! Well done.Recommend

  • Siddique Malik

    Here is my humble addition to the topic of American visa. After arriving in America, some Pakistani immigrants become self-declared harbingers of love for Pakistan and thakedaars of Islam. Even if you offer honest and genuine criticism of things and behaviors that need improvement in Pakistan, they castigate and ostracize you. They are first to take oath of loyalty to America so they could possess much-coveted American passport, but their incessant cursing of America increases after they take this oath. Just like their love for Pakistan, their commitment to the oath they take is fake. They are fake people. When they go back for a visit to Pakistan, they see small children working as servants from dawn to dusk around them, and they don’t say a word against this child abuse, which by the way is one of the reasons that Pakistan is suffering. Nobody knows how many Einsteins, Abdul Salams, Gandhis and Martin Luther Kings of the future have been sacrificed at this unholy altar of child labor. However, please note that the “some” in the second sentence above is the operative word.
    Siddique Malik, Louisville, Kentucky, USA. Recommend

  • haroon

    sad but true.Recommend

  • Manju

    Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), I am willing to die for you, but not live like you
    Yeah!!! Life is that trivial…Recommend

  • Baba Ji

    Shabaash … this is spot on !!!! Recommend

  • Burjor

    Good work Jibrain, keep up the good work, keep exposing the hypocrites, the bigoted, the extremists, the intolerant, the cowards, the freebees, the loathsomes in our country. Recommend

  • pmbm

    Every Muslim should try to be honest and Ameen like the prophet (even if Zia put those words in the constitution),Prophet was known by those qualities even before prophethood. And Quran emphasizes them repeatedly. Very good write-up, now let us practice the good sides of the list.Recommend

  • gp65

    @Manju: “Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), I am willing to die for you, but not live like you
    Yeah!!! Life is that trivial…”

    This was a thoughtful article based on introspection. Such taunting was completely out of place here.Recommend

  • Musafir


    Awesome article!!! We need writers like you. Do write regularly for Tribune.Recommend

  • Khawaja

    Salam. Quite true. If only we could start living like the beloved Prophet (saw), both physically and internally, our society would be quite different.

    Just one thing i would humbly disagree with.
    “I proudly declare myself a citizen of a country which made all laws subject to Islam and enforced it in such a way that it made minorities scared to even question these laws without fearing for their lives.”
    I would argue the opposite as the country, like ourselves, doesn’t have the complete Islamic law. Had all the laws really been in accordance with Islam, things would be quite different esp for the minorities. The early years of the Islamic empire are a proof to that.Recommend

  • Mohammad Jibran Nasir

    @Yuri, the following article may educate you on the topic and mind you this article was published by any conservative Islamic centre but a notable UK newspaper.

  • Omair Homaey

    As much as we hate to admit, this is so true of all of us ! Wish we could act a little more humane and follow Prophet (PBUH) teachings ! Recommend

  • Common Man

    Although varied nature of practical life examples, may represents majority of people dual standard but dear one thing it applies 100% TRUE IN MY CASE.

    Looking forward for some more stuff like this. Good Luck Recommend

  • Fauzan Naeem

    Hitting the nail, bang on the head!
    Sad truth. Recommend

  • Asjad

    (Y) …Stay alive !Recommend

  • Aviator

    Truly thought provoking, brilliantRecommend

  • Ahmed

    @Hamza A Khan:

    You, sir, are a perfect example of the “ready to blame” category that the writer mentioned in his article.

    A brilliant column that is proficient in defining what is happening in our country. Hats off!Recommend

  • Rafael

    Didn’t even read the whole article, Just the title and a few lines:

    “Namoos-e-Risalat per jaan bhi qurban hai.”

    Dear Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), I would love to die for your honour any day but strangely I am not willing to make an effort to live like you for a single day.

    I hope you still keep praying for your Ummah; God knows we need it.”

    And i can tell the article is just beautiful!Recommend

  • El Hashimy

    I am Egyptian and this is the same for whole of Middle East. You cannot trust anyone. Lying. Cheating. This is everyday life. I tell you my friend, there is no Islam in the Middle East.Recommend

  • Raiya

    Excellent piece of work! An eye opener for our I say “There is a Zardari hidden inside all of us”Recommend

  • Rex Minor

    ET is 7 hrs behind the time and is holding on to comments against the aricle, giving preference to those who are for the article.

    Rex Minor Recommend

  • albara

    wonderful passage

    I love to read some society criticism began with the self blaming Recommend

  • Khurram

    @Jehanzeb Naeem Khan

    “May Allah save Islam from Pakistan.”

    Very well said and I would like to add “May ALLAH save ISLAM from the Saudis.”Recommend

  • Naseem

    Good effort to speak it loud and clear. Mumtaz mufti said a beautiful quote on it. “hum aqeedat paltey hain aqeeda nahin.” We only love prophet and islam but does not obey/follow his teachings. it is sad but true.:( Recommend

  • Sabah

    Really very well written and awful reality of Majority of Pakistanis. May Allah give all of them HidayahRecommend

  • anwar suhail

    This is all about average Pakistanis!!!! What else u think it’s about?Recommend

  • anwar suhail

    Beautiful write up, clear, concise and true. Well done.Recommend

  • umer

    Amazing article ! loved the analogies ! Recommend

  • Goli Maar

    nicely writtenRecommend

  • Areeba

    This is pure, unadulterated truth. It truly hits home. I love how it related the smallest of our errors to the largest, most unpleasant realities. Thank you for writing this.Recommend

  • natasha

    loved reading this….spot on!!!Recommend

  • Mohammed Abbasi

    mashallah excellent article Recommend

  • Shoaib Khalid Soomro

    Exellent workRecommend

  • Sane

    Very sadly; what is said is reality.Recommend

  • Khalil

    @Siddique Malik:
    So you want people not to speak even out of country, if they couldn’t do that while living in Pakistan?? Ask to stop producing children if the parents can not support them, yes like China. Just to fulfill their desire of a minuet why to put many lives in trouble, uproot the cause of problem that is called gross root approach I believe. That is most effective approach to stop child labor. Otherwise if you protect just the kids presently in the streets, a new batch will follow, how long can you go with that. Recommend

  • Maryam Ali

    I would to thank you first to write such a good and true article. This is unfortunately a true picture of an average Paksitani these days. If everyone starts to live like our Holy Prophet (PBUH) our problems can be solved, corruption will be gone and peace will prevail.

    I wish to see that day soon. May Allah Almighty bless our nation with some brains and realization to live their lives according to Uswah-e-Hasna.

    Jazakallah once again.Recommend

  • Anas Tanveer

    Sad but true. And the only reason I figured out for such reactiuons on the roads and even here on the blog, is JAHALAT. And when I talk of JAHALAT, I dont talk about being literate or not, I have seen many literate people who are still JAHIL. Its just the mental filth our so called Religious Traders Co. has fed in past many years. The only way to combat it is through acting upon the first word Prophet S.A.W said, told my God Almighty, i.e. IQRA. Recommend

  • S Javed

    Beautifully said each and every word the Muslims of today only believe in rituals but not in in practical I am sure it is because the first one is easy to do than the second one.Recommend

  • Fahad

    @Hamza A Khan:
    Please come up with a better one :)Recommend

  • Muhammad Akram

    @Hamza A Khan:
    Absolutely wrong contents. Good and bad personalities are present in every society. It is a fashion nowadays to criticize the Pakistan / Muslim society by the non-Muslims. They and their followers present the dirty pictures but not the good pictures of the society. Recommend

  • Syed Mansoor Ali Tirmizi

    Peace and blessings of ALLAH be upon Jibran Nasir.

    Jibran, you rightly and justly covered every aspect of recent Muslim’s mentality with acute beauty and proportion. You discussed this issue judiciously. It seems you have good educated and educational sense of preaching and sharing Quran and Sahih Ahadith.

    May ALLAH bless you always and increase me in Islamic education practically and physically. Ameen.Recommend

  • Syed Mansoor Ali Tirmizi

    @Hamza A Khan:
    I think Jibran deliberately covered all the aspects of recent Muslim’s thoughts and mentality, rightly and justly, as opposed to your kind and constructive criticism of having been strayed from the core. ALLAH bless you and your family always.Recommend

  • Ali Mohammad

    On the interesting note, wherever we go , we abuse the system, like the current governor of Sind , when he became governor of Sind he was getting welfare in UK and he keep receiving it even after becoming governor, another interesting character Qadri of long march was also on public assistance in Canada , these should be a model for rest of us, unfortunately they need some ethical education before even they can think to become our leaders! So sad eh!Recommend