Why not now?

Published: November 21, 2012
SHARES
Email

Why is it that the demise or separation of a spouse forever marks the end of any possibility for one to have a new relationship further along in their lives? PHOTO: REUTERS

Fifty, sixty or above? Widowed or divorced? The time has come for you to give up on your life, look after the kids and prepare for the end.

More often than not, a person loses the tug of war between age and will. Marriage is a decision taken, or on occasion, even forced on you when you are young and outgoing and discovering the difference between what you have been and what you can be.

So, what happens when, in either cases, the marriage comes to an end?

What happens when the person you were once so in love with is ready to leave you to handle the world on your own?

You gave your life living for your family, giving them all you had in you to make their life heaven.

Now, you are alone. Old. Your kids are grown up heading on with their own lives. All you have left is responsibility and the piercing pain of loneliness with no chance of finding your way out of it.

Why is it that the demise or separation of a spouse forever marks the end of any possibility for one to have a new relationship further along in their lives?

Why have we restricted our lives to the limits of age and appearance to keep ourselves from stealing some of the peace of life for ourselves? Even in this era of so-called modern living, why is the concept of remarriage at an older age such a dilemma? Do you lose the right to live for yourself with the progress of age?

Often, such decisions are avoided confrontation due to the infamous “log kya kahengey?” (what will people say?) or “ab iss umar main kya zarurat hai” (at this age, what is the point?).

Is the need of a partner to lead your life with, merely dependent on one’s age or the youth of one’s relationship?

Who is really the one to decide, the person who lives her life preparing for the end of her daily routine, experiencing it firsthand or the children, who are selfish enough not to notice the needs of their parent in the face of some mild embarrassment or society, which really shouldn’t have a say in how one chooses to lead her life?

Samra Amir

Samra Amir

A Graphic Designer at The Express Tribune.

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.