A girl and a boy out alone must mean trouble in Pakistan

Published: November 13, 2012
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While we were waiting for my brother, we started talking to pass the time, when all of a sudden a bright light shone on our faces, which turned out to be a police flashlight.

Apparently the restrictions on what you can and cannot do in this country are becoming stricter and minds are gradually becoming narrower.

I used to think that the ‘law’ of being caught with a member of the opposite sex had died with Ziaul Haq, and that people would gradually have become more open-minded about seeing two members of the different genders together without automatically assuming the worst. Unfortunately, I was to be proven wrong on both counts.

There is a very famous poster that makes the rounds on social media. It says:

“In the west, you can kiss in public, but not p**s (urinate) in public. In Pakistan, you can p**s in public, but not kiss in public.”

This is exemplified by police patrols in secluded areas waiting to pounce on couples in action. Although I really don’t agree with this invasion of privacy either – what two people choose to do is entirely their own business – there are times when you wonder whether this way of thinking has gone a bit too far, just like I did.

A friend of mine called me yesterday evening asking me if I would like to have some ice cream with him and a few other friends. Since I can’t say no to ice cream, I didn’t hesitate to say yes and he offered to pick me up. He picked me up and we collected some other friends (both, boys and girls) whose homes were along the way. Then we had ice cream at a place close to where I live. We stopped to chat for a while, after which we decided to go home, dropping everyone else off along the way – me being the last on the route.

The friend who was supposed to be dropped right before me lives opposite Nisar Shaheed Park in DHA phase 4. After she went inside her house, the friend I hitched a ride with decided to stop at the park and buy himself a bottle of water from the tuck shop. It was after the park’s closing time and the place was pitch dark, the only place to park being the parking lot. On his way out, he noticed his car had developed a puncture and he asked me to call my brother, and ask him to bring a repair guy, so that the puncture could get fixed and my brother could drop me back home. I obliged.

What we did not realise was that we were in a police patrol point, and parking in the secluded lot made us prime suspects. While we were waiting for my brother, we started talking to pass the time, when all of a sudden a bright light shone on our faces, which turned out to be a police flashlight.

A guy and a girl sitting alone in a dark parking lot

! My friend was hauled out very rudely and grilled with questions. Who are you? Where do you live? Where’s the nikahnama? Who are you with? Why are you with her? Where does she live? If you take her home, will her family recognise you? Apparently, they didn’t believe him, and they started asking me the same questions.

During that time, my brother showed up and the police turned on him. He attempted to prove his identity with his identity card, but as it turned out the address on his card and my own were completely different. The questioning became even tougher.

“You say you’re her brother; why is the address different?”

I tried to explain that when I turned 18, we lived in a different part of town, and when seven years later, my brother’s turn came, we had moved. Still no joy! Ultimately we had to call our uncle to resolve the matter and it was a good hour before we were allowed to go home.

This incident really made me ask myself: What has happened to my country? I wonder when it will become a home for ‘moderate’ thinking people, and I really hope that someone will continue to speak out against this sort of mentality.

Have you ever been harassed by the police while out with a member of the opposite sex?

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Sufia Zamir

Sufia Zamir

A marketing communication planner, blogger, creative content writer, and a part time Urdu translator, Sufia blogs at www.sufiazamir.com and tweets as @sufiazamir twitter.com/sufiazamir

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • Abdullah

    If the guy was not your mehram the police was right. Different values in different countries and different laws. If you are Muslim ask yourself what Islam says about hanging out with a na-mehram. Recommend

  • galli ke larki

    you still can have some leneinecy when you look ‘khatey peetey ghar k bachey’ , but you dare being out with a friend when you look poor too, you are doomed to unbridled use and abuse at the hands of police walas. Recommend

  • Rizvi

    You are totally right we have to talk against such things in our surrounding..Recommend

  • Ureb Arif

    A simmilar story happened with me when i was travelling with my sister near nisar shaheed park ! The Cops are just il-litterate and maybe drunk coz they always behave like we are crimnals…
    and dont beleive in what we are saying . . .

    MayAllahBlessPakistanRecommend

  • alyan sohail

    What you do in your own home is your business but what you do in public is not. Even in UK the police do check parked vehicles with boys & girls in at night due decency and drug acts. too many holes in ur story too esp re the park… and ur brother id card. plz try not to legitimise wrong. also the police do not touch kids of elite as such treatment is inly for the poor.Recommend

  • Rahil Khan

    actually measure problem is that peoples not just sit .they sitting or walking in different way especially Bagh Ibn e Qasim Recommend

  • http://mezaajedeen.blogspot.com Tribune Reader

    This whole mehram and non mehram business is going too farRecommend

  • http://www.tanzeel.wordpress.com Tanzeel

    Simple solution to your problem, before going anywhere with your genius friend, always ensure that he keeps stepney in his car.Recommend

  • http://www.baahirezaman.wordpress.com Ali Rahman

    Reading this article really made me ask myself: Where has the writer been? Quite amazed at Sufia’s account and reflection of surprise on the event. By no means is such an incident supported and agreed with. However, Sufia… really…. where have you been?Recommend

  • Rehan Ali

    The men in uniform, be it any, are motivated by money. The laws are there only to exploitation, extortion and oppression of the citizenry. Recommend

  • Adeel

    There are no such laws in Pakistan… the police has no legal justification to stop you or harass you just because you are from the opposite sex. You should have, however, given them a hundred rupee note, and they would have said Salam to you and walked off…
    That’s what they were really looking for… Recommend

  • Kamran Yusuf

    Another article over which I have wasted 5 minutes of my life. Recommend

  • Shappal

    @Abdullah:
    police was wrong at this stance. They don’t have right to interfere in the lives of others. But here in Pakistan, we are so called muslims who always have stereo type of attitude towards male and female talking at a public place.Recommend

  • Parvez

    Bringing in the mehram / na-mehram point is simply clouding the issue which revolves around the role of our police force. The basic trouble stems from the politicisation of the police force and our law makers know this but obviously do not want to do anything about it. Recommend

  • https://twitter.com/Pugnate Noman Ansari

    This is what is happening in Pakistan now. Talibnaization.

    I wrote a piece about a McDonalds incident. There is a reason why the staff behaved as rudely as they did. Recommend

  • xoya

    I was out with my Husband , we were sitting in the car just stopped to have french fries & yes the police came asked my husband all sort of questions & even wanted money .( chai pani sahib geee )

    But there is no rule no law to stop this , we cannot even sit in a car with our husband & brother Recommend

  • Human

    @Adeel:

    I agree , True , they dont stop us bcoz of mehram or not mehram its just the MONEY Recommend

  • http://India Feroz

    Moral policing does not need laws, just an attitude and a mindset. I can quite understand why Pakistan figures as the country with the highest Porn viewership.
    Real desperation !Recommend

  • Human

    Until & unless this Incident does not happen with someone they wont even care or realize what all is going on here .

    The Police will just find any way in making Cash Recommend

  • I.

    Our police – another version of maya khan!Recommend

  • Pakistani

    uhhhh Pakistan… people don’t need you any more..Recommend

  • sadaf

    maham namaharam.. this is just a lame excuse.. all they care about is the money.. the referance to islamic rules and obligations is just to conceal the loop holes in their characters!! the police will stop even six girls with one guy, clearly indicating what retards they are!!Recommend

  • Utkarsh

    @Abdullah:
    How about you keep your religion to yourself? No one’s forcing you to have covert no-mehram gatherings in shady places. The ones who’re doing it are not harming you.

    To the person who said even in UK the police checks whether drugs are being used or not…I’m very, very sure they don’t ask for nikahnamas.Recommend

  • https://twitter.com/Pugnate Noman Ansari

    They just wanted money. MONEY. Recommend

  • Xoya

    @sadaf:
    YUP Recommend

  • Human

    This is just Crazy I agree with Noman , This is TALIBANIZATION Recommend

  • Human

    @abhi:
    Why do you want to know ?
    Mind your business she said she was with her Husband don’t you have any shame in even asking her this question ?
    Maybe your a senseless useless COP .
    the topic is about how these Cops harass Us all . read carefully Recommend

  • http://www.faisalarshad.wordpress.com Faisal Arshad

    The police cant stop snatching, robbery and bribery. We have a weak police force indeed. But that doesn’t mean you need dark parking lots to show your frustration.Recommend

  • UHS

    If the ice cream place was close to your place then why were you the last one to be dropped? :) Just asking.

    And yes, I totally agree. Police in out country actually always looking for a ‘khaancha’ (read bribed money) and Mommy Daddy kids are their best source for earning.Recommend

  • Pessimist

    An interesting article which raises some serious questions. The comments, sadly, reflect the sad mentality of majortity of the Pakistani people.

    Abdullah
    If the guy was not your mehram the police was right. Different values in different countries and different laws. If you are Muslim ask yourself what Islam says about hanging out with a na-mehram.

    Absolute nonsense. This isn’t Saudi Arabia (thankfully) so police have no moral right to ask the relation of the guy. Plus our society has evolved a lot over the past two decades (unlinke your mentality), so women & men regularly interact with each other. I assume you are a student or a worker? Do you interact with women during studies/work? Is that not wrong and non-mehram (sp)? Why not take a ‘moral’ stand and resign from the workplace, or is that only confined to women? Better yet, move to Saudi and enjoy the life there.

    alyan sohail
    What you do in your own home is your business but what you do in public is not. Even in UK the police do check parked vehicles with boys & girls in at night due decency and drug acts. too many holes in ur story too esp re the park… and ur brother id card. plz try not to legitimise wrong. also the police do not touch kids of elite as such treatment is inly for the poor.

    Another idiotic comment. You make it sound like this girl was actually doing something with the boy in the car! They had a flat tire and i dont think any drugs were involved. And regarding your irrational comparison with UK. I know about the checking, but do the police there also ask for a nikahnama & a family tree? There are no holes in this story. If the police simply asked what the girl was doing and left then our author would be over reacting. But harassing them and asking for ID cards and what not is plain stupid.

    People often say the youth of a country are it’s future, but with people like you we are screwed.Recommend

  • ab

    what does talibinization has to do with this conduct of police. Recommend

  • justasincereobserver

    oh the problems of the elite of this third world country !!!!Recommend

  • http://gujrat Zalim singh

    Pakistan = Saudi Arabia.Recommend

  • http://gujrat Zalim singh

    I guess, Miyan, Biwi and a Kazi is a norm in Pakistan.Recommend

  • S

    One of the judgements passed by Lahore high court ( cant remember the year) clearly stated that no one can ask a couple for a nikahnama! Simple. Recommend

  • Riaz Khan

    The police are just exploiting existing laws…They dont care if he was ur brother or lover…Whether you were stranded due to flat tires or you were making out…. If you silently gave them Rs.100,they would give a salute and go on to harass the next victim

    Ladies and Gentleman,Welcome to Pakistan where drinking is banned but there are rehabilation centrers for alcoholic
    Hijab is forced,but at the same time,you can see girls in tight jeans in Malls
    You shouldnt do extramarital sex,but prostitution is an open secretRecommend

  • Muhammad Ali

    Can some body answer me that why our police always fails to reach in time if there is theft , robbery, accident or precarious law and order situation …Even police doesnt bother if you call them or even you go to police station for launching an FIR against robbery in your home..But in situation like catching couples whether its couple or not is a seperate thing,Going after boys at nite suspecting to recover alcohol or or similar stuff our police is so efficient? CAN SOME BODY EXPLAIN WHY?Recommend

  • Sufia Zamir

    @Ali Rahman, guess you are right. Maybe I have been living under a rock all these years :)

    @alyan sohail. So just because I was hanging around in DHA – or even that I live there – automatically implies I belong to the “elite” class. And I don’t see why my comment regarding my brothers NIC was assumed to be “legitimizing wrong”. If the police is retarded enough not to notice that we shared a common surname, or even that our father’s name was the same, and only focused on the fact that the addresses on our respective NICs were different, how is that a “hole in the story”. And besides, if we were indulging in some hanky panky, would either my male friend or myself have called my brother to help us sort things out in the first place?Recommend

  • Sarah

    Next time you might wanna avoid the shady areas when getting water? Also, the police asked you because they must have caught other ppl that’s why they must be questioning you.

    Ps. Apart from the address, NIC has fathers name aswell which obviously would be common in your brother’s and your nic so I don’t see any reason for the police to stop you even after thatRecommend

  • gp65

    Different places have their own brand of Talibanisation btw. A recent news item talks about how authorities in Los Angeles are thinking of introducing a legislation mandating that porn stars should wear condoms in their movies.Recommend

  • Cynical

    Thank god there was no police man (at least Pakistani variety) around, when Adam met Eve.Recommend

  • Mughees

    police :@Recommend

  • salman

    @Abdullah:
    its not 700 AD, we are not jahil arabs of those times, we dont travel in the desert on camels.
    have you ever heard of ijtimaad, ijma and qiyas. if actual proper educated religious scholars sat together and decided to discuss the mehram issue, they would do away with it.
    and until then use common sense and mr. abdullah Recommend

  • Rahim ALi

    A Quaid Picture ($$$) was enough to stop all this question , Cops are like Dogs so show them the bones and they will run away !!!Recommend

  • Tainted Soul

    “what two people choose to do is entirely their own business”

    That is not an entirely valid statement… As long as it is what the two do in the privacy of their home or some other non-public venue, then they’re fine, but otherwise laws applied to it may differ.

    Although the police here in Pakistan has the tendency to be more aggressive than warranted as well as less trusting of one’s statement – jumping to the worse conclusions, their questioning a couple sitting in a car late at night in a secluded spot in the parking lot stands to reason. Unfortunately the force with which they drive their questions and the ridiculous attitude moves that reasonable questioning into simple harassment. Additionally how could they have gotten stuck on the fact of a different address when all they really needed to check on the Identity Cards was the name of the father.

    I.e. although it may stand to reason for a policeman to “moderately” question a guy and a girl sitting in a secluded spot, etc… but our policemen don’t know how to “moderately” question anyone… nor do the majority really ask/inquire for the right reasons!

    I have a habit of holding hands with my wife as we’re strolling through the marketplace, with the gradual nudge, etc. and one thing I’ve noticed is that it tends to attract eyes from all around. Fortunately for us, we’ve never been stopped and questioned by anyone, even though we’ve had some police officers throw weird looks our way. The funniest look to date was the look of surprise combined with amusement as a policeman looked at us driving away in our car, at a checkpoint, when my wife was snuggled up close to me… but then again, no one stopped us. Guess i’ve been lucky so far for not having run into a weird shifty eyed police wala…Recommend

  • http://basimsblog.blogspot.com Basim Qureshi

    Very respectfully (but i hope you don’t miss out on the sarcasm in my tone), I ask you the question: which part of the country have you been living in? It’s not about Zia, or whatever government is currently ruling. It’s social norms and everyone should be cool with that. If a guy wears only latex boxers and walks into a church in a civilized ‘gora’ nation, be sure that they are going to throw him out, so stop disrespecting your own country and your own city.

    I voted ‘yes’ myself up there, this kinda thing happens to everyone. Be glad that you’re home safe. Don’t go writing a blog about it! Also, you have to understand where the ‘thullas’ are coming from; I don’t think you have any idea of the amount of “action” that’s making public parks in the country completely inhabitable!

    So, just ease up, and think before you write.Recommend

  • The Rebel

    @Pessimist: Spot on. Couldn’t have put it better myself.

    Reading some of the people’s comments here make me want to leave this country for good. We’re living in the 21st century, where interaction between opposite genders has become a norm. But in Pakistan, with people like Abdullah, we’re still arguing over whether we should be interacting with mehram/non mehram people. How can we ever evolve and progress as a country if we’re still stuck with this stone age mentality? Ridiculous.Recommend

  • intelektual

    It has not much to do with the society in general but with da fact that our police are experts at extortioning money out of sitting ducks of couples; and its not just the couples, its with bike walas at slow turnings and car walas at blind corners the police walas are experts at finding these nooks and places where they can extortion a bribe. I m sure the whole episode wud have ended alot sooner if a green note were offered as an explanation.
    The Maya Khan’s episode and the criticism forcing her off air (for some time) were a point well made by the public in this regard.
    Although time and again in our society where people tend to choose the moral high ground using religion to justify their demands ‘I would like to reiterate “they are going to their own graves and are not in any way responsible for what two consenting adults are doing” Preaching and setting a best best example by their own practice is where the line should be drawn its not a matter that needs to be handled via legislation and police ! while invasion of Privacy and extortion are matters that need to be addressed via legislation.Recommend

  • intelektual

    @Abdullah:
    How are you jumping to the conclusion that the parties involved were practicing muslims belonging to your school of thought !! Even if your assumptions are true i thought there was a day of Judgement concept in there as well ! Who appointed you or the police to be the judges and the executioners in moral policing !
    You are talking about collective values in different countries wake up Mr. if these things are happening in our society all around us your moral high ground is not a collective value any more !Recommend

  • http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/author/908/erum-naqvi/ Erum

    seems like instead of realizing the core issue, people here are more interested in gathering incriminating evidence against the author herself! ridiculous! Recommend

  • Manishj

    @abhi:
    Wonder how your comment got through… i dont have a word describing your mindset. i will just say.. grow up please.Recommend

  • By

    Once my uncle was assaulted by robbers right in front of a police choki. The policemen just sat and watched cause the robbers had guns. My uncles later asked the police why they didn’t do anything? And they told him to pretty much get lost.

    In Pakistan there is no law to stop men and women from talking in public places. The police really wanted some rishwat. You should have handed them a 100 rupee and walked away easily.Recommend

  • Lams

    @Abdullah:
    If she was hanging around with her brother, would she have been able to produce a nikkahnama since the Police refused to believe he was her brother? I completely respect Islam & our values but please, Pakistan can’t be allowed to turn in to a police state!!Recommend

  • tj

    u cant blame police for that in the middle eastern countries such offences are punishable by jail. so it is their duty Recommend

  • tj

    asking of id cards by police is not wrong not that im justifying their act here in middle east i was stopped by a random person claiming to be police , checked my id card and ordered me to step in his vehicle cz there “was a problem with my id” that should really be made an issue , and the way he dramatised it by shouting in arabic any asian would have walked with him thinking it was his fault but i counter shouted at him in rabaic and did not go with him, we called th epolice and at that mention he ran away.Recommend

  • abhi

    I see some comments on my comment which was removed later.
    I wonder why some people took that comment so badly, probably because they themself have some mental blockage.
    No point of blaming police in this case. It is whole society which looks this kind of activities badly, changing that mindset will take lot of time and effort.Recommend

  • ASI Salim

    @ author,
    Most dating rapes occur in dark room ice cream parlours and parking lots. Please be careful with your opposite sex friends as these places can draw their psychological needs above their friendship needs. Recommend

  • Fed up Pakistani

    @abhi:

    Start by changing the way YOU think first , that will bring a change Recommend

  • Anonymous

    @abhi:I completely agree with you and can understand your feeling.Even if xoya shares french kiss with her husband ,its none of the business of anyone to interfere.But my friend perhaps you r at wrong platform sharing ur views.
    @moderator:pl approve this.By the way ,earlier comment of abhi has nothing wrong.Society should be more open towards woman.Thats how i believe.Recommend

  • Tahir Naseem

    The situation is not as bad as you guys are portraying. Considering the ongoing circumstance of Pakistan specially in Karachi this is the very first duty and responsibiltiy of Police to have the inquiry whenever whereever they want. The purpose is not to humiliate any one but to secure the society. Dear Writer – Bear in you mind that there is a world out side lavish DHA called Islamic Republic of Pakistan. No one appreciate that police officer who find you at dark part of the parking alot.. what he inquire from you was his duty. Recommend

  • Dee Cee

    Is Police mehram?Recommend

  • Anonymous

    I found it all very filmy and romantic (forgive me for that).. secluded dark place.. public park’s parking lot and a flat tire.. has all the elements of a hindi movie :DRecommend

  • Clarus

    Lets not compare Pakistan with UK n whether there they ask for Nikhanama or not. Even in moderate place like Dubai if the police suspects anything they can ask the couple to produce their nikhanama/evidence and if they don’t have one then they will get into trouble, so what needs to be kept in mind is that we are in islamic republic and if anything is deemed to be wrong then its wrong and can attract trouble. And it’s not the question of what one is doing, police here can implicate anyone into anything.

    So always pre-plan like if the cops stops us we would simply say we are married. And always ensure parents at both sides are understanding and can absorb such situations and take your side n can get you out when you are in trouble.

    And foremost your confidence counts , if the cops see you are confident abt the situation they wont harass you whereas if they notice you guys are scared then the KANOONI KARAWAI STARTS. Recommend

  • Amir

    so girls working in office can’t speak to their colleagues because of na-mehram thing?Recommend

  • truth/dare

    well when it comes to this type of situation, the only thing which can help resolve is the way you reply back to the police.
    “Who are you to ask me anyway?” you need to search go ahead, but do not try put nose in my matters.Am i understood?

    Money in hand is the ultimate solution ….Recommend

  • zehra

    well i feel it has nothing to do with islamisation orm odernity it is just that police doesnt let go of any any chnace to get money!! even if ur out with a male cousin and his kid police will stop and question!! even brothers and sisters are stopped not coz of an right or worng but it i mnight and they need their chai pani!! gang of boys gonig in car are most often stopped searched and siad ” i can say i found alcohol, ganja in your presence give me sometihng and you are free to go” normal police stop cars to check the papers at night – if all ok then also tey make a flimsy excuse and say chai pani!! however the liberaty they have ot do this comes form the point that there are laws that if caught can do this that, hence they take advantage!!
    @ abdullah i have no words every time you wirte i get blown away how education couldnty enlighten anyone!! Recommend

  • Hamza A Khan

    You must realize that it is never moderation or extremism that is in question. Its a good way to make money. Your point may be valid but you’re directing it wrong by attacking the lack of moderacy in Pakistan. It’s just a great way for the police to make money. Recommend

  • Realistic

    Do deeply agreed with Abdullah… You all taking Abdullah as he said something annoying. What Abdullah said is compeltely right. Only a muslim can understand it.. So called libreal, fascist will critisize. Recommend

  • Turbo Lover

    @Zalim Singh: Right on, Mr. Singh. My thoughts exactly.

    There are only six words that can solve this problem: “Do you know who I am?” Sadly this trick works only for those who have powerful contacts or ARE powerful themselves. Also, there is no law in effect against this anymore, so who are they to question?Recommend

  • Pessimist

    Realistic
    Do deeply agreed with Abdullah… You all taking Abdullah as he said something annoying. What Abdullah said is compeltely right. Only a muslim can understand it.. So called libreal, fascist will critisize.

    I’m willing to bet a fortune you don’t know the true meaning of ‘liberal’ or ‘facist’. Recommend

  • http://peddarowdy.wordpress.com Anoop

    Well, to be fair to Pakistan, that you just think is not yours, its just following the trend of most Muslim countries.

    I’d been to a friend’s sister’s wedding, a beautifully arranged Muslim wedding. Well, arranged well except on one count – segregation.

    A bunch of us college mates – needless to say, boys and girls(It was a few year ago) – who came together on the same bikes and cars suddenly were separated by a wall.

    Islam practices segregation and the Police are absolutely right in enforcing it. Not Right morally, but ethically they have to follow Islam, isn’t it. They are duty bound to implement the Constitution of Pakistan, which say islam is the blue print and everything has to conform to it.

    “Your Pakistan” is not actually the future of Pakistan or similar to the large parts of Pakistan. That Pakistan is a remnant of a Pakistan left over by the British and the spirit of India.

    I don’t really understand the reason you are angry. Do you support segregation or not? If you don’t, are you a non-Muslim?Recommend

  • Insaan1990

    @Anoop: “Islam practices segregation and the Police are absolutely right in enforcing it. Not Right morally, but ethically they have to follow Islam, isn’t it. They are duty bound to implement the Constitution of Pakistan, which say islam is the blue print and everything has to conform to it.”

    Search “Pakistan police rape” and you may come up with some interesting information. Watch the video of the woman in pink kameez. Video talks about how some arrested men are released by police in exchange for sex with their relatives.

    A few hundred rupees can make the police forget about Islamic practices and constitution of Pakistan and look the other way. With little more money policeman may act as a security guard and let you finish your business in the car.Recommend

  • ….

    @Clarus:
    Are you mentally stable? Have you ever been to dubai? Stop making up lies (further proving how your lot are ‘true muslims’) In dubai a couple had sex in a car and they only got a little fine. And in every mall at any day there are thousands of na mehram couples/groups hanging out
    Here no concept of nikahnama even exists, it’s only a document, not you license to hang out

    Islam has no concept of segregation, premarital sex is haram I agree, but even then the police has no right to interfere
    ANYONE REMEMBER HOW THEY WERE CRYING ON THE MEDIA THAT THERE ARENT ENOUGH POLICE IN KARACHI TO CONTROL CRIME? THen how do they have faltu time to do this jobless stuff? Don’t they have better things/responsibilities to do? Right now it doesnt seem like a bad thing that there’s a shortage of police

    I want army in Karachi. NOW. These useless cops should be disposed off.Recommend

  • Ali

    Whereas I agree that the police were wrong to interfere – I somehow don’t believe the writer was completely innocent as she wants us to believe – she gives the feeling that the universe was out to get her.Recommend

  • Samar_Yz

    The number of ‘likes’ on the first comment is very very disturbing…ET needs a ‘vote-down’ buttonRecommend

  • Ali

    @Abdullah:
    Please stop imposing islam on other people.Recommend

  • gp65

    I don’t believe this blog writer’s cockamamie story. The point is what is wrong if she was there talking to her boyfriend? That’s not illegal. As many have guessed correctly, this was probably just an attempt to get some baksheesh.Recommend

  • gp65

    @Cynical: No. Just a snake to cheer them on.Recommend

  • gp65

    Quick question – boys and girls together is not OK – but boys and boys together is cool right? Hurrah for gay rights in Pakistan.Recommend

  • Saleha

    You must thank God that u had not confront with Maya khan who would be asking you about your “Nikah nama” :)Recommend

  • Ernest Dempsey

    I would say the police wanted money. It is not just under the excuse of boy-girl issue, but police everywhere in Pakistan is prowling, even in broad daylight, to mark somebody with an apparent weak point and harass them to the point where they will offer money. There are good officers in police but many of those patrolling teams are just plunderers in uniform. So please be careful. Recommend

  • Pervert

    @…..
    ..Really..!?? Plz take me to Dubai.
    (Dubaaii…here I come.)
    .Recommend

  • Asma

    Its no one’s business! It is a personal matter. The police would be better earning their keep stopping actual violent crimes than hang on every potential salacious occurence @Abdullah: Recommend

  • PKLiberal

    @Abdullah:

    Keep your own religion to yourself. You dont want to talk to na-mehram, dont talk. You or the police have no fricking right to meddle with other people’s affairs.Recommend

  • Optimist1

    @….. & The Rebel..

    I strongly suggest you need to ‘re-work’ on your religion-part.
    You didn’t make any slightest sense at all.Recommend

  • http://glenns-busy-corner.blogspot.com/ Glenn Ryall

    Whenever i am with any girl alone, i try to avoid such instances. I agree that you were right in your place but looking at the situation of the city and stuff you need to be careful.

    Also try not give the police a reason to create such an unnecessary hype. The Govt also has to take an initiative in this regard as nearly 70% of the hired policemen are not educated. Recommend

  • Virkaul

    @Tribune Reader:
    Ha ha ha. It is really funny…this Mehram business.Recommend

  • Virkaul

    @Muhammad Ali:
    Simple! Where there is money there is police.Recommend

  • http://asianetpakistan.com/ Muneeb Qasim

    Actually police officers should not be blamed for this. Because Shameless acts between the couples or between the different sexes are being normal now days which is remarked as an extremist sin by ISLAM. Well me not blaming to the writer of this blog as she was not involved in that type of matters, but just not agree with her articleRecommend

  • http://rtilive.pk Yousaf

    KARACHI: Inspector General of Police, Sindh Fayyaz Laghari has directed the Additional IG Karachi to ensure concrete security measures at the shrine of Hazrat Abdullah Shah Ghazi on the annual Urs starting from November 06. in rtilive

    Right to Information Pakistan Live, RTI Live, Information Pakistan, RTI online Research ORganizationRecommend

  • MMB

    Whether she was with a mehram or not is her business, no one has the right to define the moral code for someone esle, how does islam allow you or me to interfere in someone else’s life. Lets keep pakistan as pakistan, lets not make it saudia arabia!Recommend

  • joker

    I dont Know When our country will get Fredom..!Recommend

  • KS

    The police stopped me too a long time ago. Back then my husband was my fiance and we were driving in DHA phase 8. The roads are pretty secluded there. 2 policemen on a motor cycle stopped us and asked for the nikah nama. We said that we’re engaged & our parents know about it, but they insisted we go to the police station with them. They had guns so I was afraid that if my fiance started arguing with them they would beat him up or do something worse to me as the place was deserted. In the end my husband had to pay them off to leave us alone. It’s just about the money for these policemen. All of them are corrupt. Recommend

  • Human

    @KS:
    Thats exactly our fear that if we argue , they can do just anything . But always paying them is not a Solution . I hope someone does something about it .Recommend

  • Tch tch

    @KS:
    Get a Room next timeRecommend

  • http://www.twitter.com/Odhii Imran Ahmed Odhano

    I like the way you have written it. This is a common issue of our society and ppl always think negative if they see any couple anywhere in public (including police). Though they may be brother or sister.

    Though this has never happened to me and I also believed that this kind of police attitude is now over but it has not.

    Problem is with our society and its norms, it seems that our society (majority) does not accept this. Therefore ppl do not object what Police do to them when interrogating about opposite sex with them.

    Also we belong to conservative society so our culture does not digest such things so therefore this all happens and Police is allowed to do such things.Recommend

  • The Rebel

    I’d rather not live in this so called ‘Islamic’ society where you get judged by random people every friggin’ second like you’ve committed murder. This is the part about Pakistan I hate the most. Rather, I should say, the part about this Pakistani society I hate the most. Please, to all the mullahs and wannabe mullahs, and the brainwashed ‘youth’ of our society, live and let us live our lives in peace. I’m sure you have more pressing matters to attend to rather than nosing in other peoples’ business. Let Pakistan have it’s own identity, don’t turn it into another Saudi Arabia, where women aren’t even allowed to drive cars. Who the hell are the police (we all know the kind of police we have here in the first place), to ask for a nikah-nama from 2 people who might be brother/sister, husband/wife or even son/mother in some cases. Who gave them the right to judge people just based on their ‘assumptions’ or ‘suspicion’. We are all answerable to Allah at the end of the day, not these people.Recommend

  • Zaida

    This is what too much of religion can do. Recommend

  • Hassan

    Sufia – it seems that you and your friend were suffering from some level of naiveté. LIke many have pointed out in the comments, all you needed was a red piece of paper with the Quaid’s picture on it. (by the way, as Anwer Maqsood rightly pointed out, on our money, the Quaid is looking away from the viewer. Almost as if he is unable to look us in the eye, considering how money is used to grease palms here in pk).

    Anyway, coming back to the point, policemen hunt for people, or couples, in such situations because they are fairly confident that you will not call up your parents or someone senior to get you out of the jam, and wil pay them off to kill the issue. You could have, to call their bluff, called your parents, if nothing else.

    Yes its wrong that policemen take bribes in this way, but then we don’t pay them enough, and then thats because people dont pay enough taxes, and then thats because we feel tax money will be misused and then this argument starts to get really really murky. Hence, next time you go out, make sure that two things are readily available: a spare tyre and a hundred rupee note.

    Good luck.Recommend

  • Junaid

    I dont agree and have doubts in the narrative drawn in the article, first of all why didnt the police see father’s name on both identity cards of the girl and boy who are claiming to be brothers and sister to confirm that they are siblings rather than press them on the address. secondly, no matter how open or liberal the country is if 2 teenagers (supposidly) hanging out in a dark alley besides the park after its closing time (which means its quite late) so definitely police will ask them such kind of questions.Recommend