9 reasons why I am not a Twilight fan

Published: August 31, 2010
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A seventeen year old high school student with a centuries old man. Pedophilia, anyone?

1. The length: One fine morning Stephanie Meyer woke up from a nightmare and told herself she could write. The product was the Twilight series. Inundated with horrible grammatical errors and overused adjectives the plot (or lack thereof) has been extended over four books. It  is excruciating.

2.Pedophilia: If it isn’t a seventeen year old falling in love with an old vampire, it is a werewolf falling for an infant. The author needs therapy for her convoluted imagination.

3. The hype: The frenzy around the books is inexplicable. What I fail to understand is how and when the human brain stooped so low as to obsess over a trashy piece of literature that is nothing but an assortment of clichéd themes. It is amazing how Twilight fans go rabid over the mere mention of the fact that the books totally suck.

4. The films: As if the books were not enough to torture the masses, some intelligent people thought it’s best to make movies out of them too and exploit teenage minds further

5. The feminism: Meyer has reduced the female lead in the book to a clumsy, irritating, dependent woman whose only purpose in life is to fall irrevocably in love with Edward and become a vampire herself.

6. The superficiality: The author is shamelessly superficial. Stephanie Meyer has created an Adonis so perfect, it surpasses all known standards. She has described and re-described Edward’s perfect features throughout the book

7. Vampire baseball: Seriously?

8. Ideology: The reinvention of vampires as urban, super heroes. With amazing cars and super powers the vampires are ‘vegetarians’ so they won’t suck human blood. Oh, and they sparkle in the sun.Give me a break.

9. Literary Comparisons: The comparison with the Harry Potter series is crazy. Twilight does not even begin to compare with the J K Rowling adventure.

Bushra Maheen Rahman

Bushra Maheen Rahman

A doctor from Peshawar who writes, blogs at www.pistaye.wordpress and tweets @MaheenRahman

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