Kristen Stewart: Once a cheater always a cheater?

Published: July 28, 2012
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Something breaks fundamentally and it does not matter if you are a girl or a boy who is doing it— you know it is cheating and is wrong. PHOTO: SCREENSHOT

Something breaks fundamentally and it does not matter if you are a girl or a boy who is doing it— you know it is cheating and is wrong. ILLUSTRATION: SUNARA NIZAMI Something breaks fundamentally and it does not matter if you are a girl or a boy who is doing it— you know it is cheating and is wrong. PHOTO: SCREENSHOT Something breaks fundamentally and it does not matter if you are a girl or a boy who is doing it— you know it is cheating and is wrong. PHOTO: REUTERS

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!

Let’s forgive Kristen Stewart, shall we?

Cheating is not my favourite subject. Like many women, I’ve been cheated on— not once, but twice. I absolutely despise cheating. More than anything else, I loathe the cheater; that emotionally vapid, cowardly and incredibly stupid rat! How dare he assume that I won’t find out?! I may drive a stake through my future boyfriend’s heart if he so much as makes eye contact with a member of the opposite sex.

But in the wake Kristen Stewart’s infidelity, I can’t help but find myself empathising with the cheater. Before you judge me for being a ‘Bella fan’, let me state that I hate the Twilight series and neither Kristen nor Pattinson can act at all. I have other reasons for forgiving and forgetting Kristen Stewart: I truly believe she was driven to cheat.

Let me explain myself.

It’s just not in a woman’s nature to cheat; you may think I’m being too simplistic, but it’s true.

Women are less likely to cheat than men— and when they do— the act is usually not driven by lust like many of us think it is. Women love their counterpart wholeheartedly, with mind, body and soul, but men, not so much. Usually for them, the body trumps everything else. Women are constantly on the lookout for an emotional connection, some sort of  compatibility and only when it’s deeply missing— and we have no way of fixing it — women resorting to cheating.

On the other hand, men cheat because they can, not because there is something missing in the relationship. They cheat because it’s easy and available and because they can get away with saying “it wasn’t me”.

If you think I am just trying to protect the women because I am one too, and pass on the blame to men, take a closer look at the way Stewart responded to the cheating.

Her reaction was different from what men usually resort to. For one thing, she didn’t deny it like President Bill Clinton and then admit to it a few weeks later. She also didn’t delay it; when Tiger Woods went philandering left, right and center, he didn’t come out with an apology for 48 hours. When the apology did come, it was far from genuine and heartfelt. But Stewart admitted to it right away and her words were heartbreaking:

“This momentary indiscretion has jeopardised the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I’m so sorry”.

So Robert Pattinson, maybe your should evaluate the mistakes you may have been making? Were you gone away for long hours? Did you take her for granted? Did you constantly show off how many women fainted over you every day? Were you treating her like s*** and having a secret affair yourself?

All I can say at the end is that Stewart should let both men go and move on. She’s only 22 and things with Pattinson are far too broken to be put back together.

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PATTINSON MOVES OUT OF STEWART’S HOUSE

Actor Robert Pattinson has reportedly left the home he shared with actress girlfriend Kristen Stewart.

The actress recently apologised for having a fling with her Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders, reports showbizspy.com.

“I am not sure they will be able to recover from this. He is heartbroken and angry,” people.com quoted a source as saying.

“Kristen really loves Rob (Pattinson) more than anything. He is all that matters to her right now,” added the source.

Another source said: “Rob is ‘really depressed’ and he does not know what to do. He doesn’t know if he should forgive her or not. She’s very angry at herself. She’s really not blaming anyone but herself.”

“Rob’s whole experience of coming into fame was experienced with Kristen. This is going to be really tough. Nobody knows if they’ll stay together at this point.” ians

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THAT’S WHAT HE SAID!

No tears, no sympathy for Kristen.

Pattinson needs to end it with Stewart— it’s never going to work. All the best intentions, romanticism and idealised notions of ‘we can fix this’ are a fairytale lie. I can say this with authority because as a guy, I have been cheated on multiple times and have cheated on a significant other, once, as well.

Here’s how it happened.

It was post-high school and I was off to university abroad. In a sacred moment of overabundant love, my girlfriend at the time and I vowed that we would allow each other the freedom to explore other partners in our time apart because our love was so strong— such fleeting things would not matter at the end of the day. We loved and trusted each other. We missed each other terribly once I left for the US. I spoke to her and emailed her every day; and I cheated on her two weeks into the semester.

Why did I do it? I thought I was allowed to is how I would justify it to myself each day. But even as it happened, I knew it was a mistake. Something breaks fundamentally and it does not matter if you are a girl or a boy who is doing it— you know it is cheating and is wrong. I came clean to my girlfriend and after a period of shock and outright disbelief, we settled into a pattern of distrust, discord and constant pain.

I knew she was hurt, so while I continued to cheat on her, I kept quiet about it. Why didn’t I stop? What was the point? Once is all it really takes for you to know it’s over. Our relationship did not last a year.

I think for all men, there is always some form of justification for cheating. Whether it is invoking the law of “different area code, so it’s kosher” or “but I don’t love this girl, I love you” the excuses simply do not account for the complexities of a bond between a man and a woman. All men will always want to cheat; it is in our nature down to the biological level, but yes, we can and should take the blame and painful consequences for when we do.

What we should not do, is try to fix the relationship once it is broken. I’m a purist, and I have the experience to know this almost never works and will guarantee a world of pain for both partners.

I know because I’ve been cheated on too. Call it karma, but it happened and all the love in the world could not glue together the breaking of that seemingly simple rule: If you cheat, it’s over.

So if she still wants to ‘make it work’; dump her Pattinson. Dump her while you can.

Anonymous 3

Sana B

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