My sister: Always the apple of my eye

Published: September 7, 2012
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All the warm memories with my sister come rushing back to me when I think about her leaving after her wedding.

My sister and I, like a lot of other siblings, have a love-hate relationship. We can be the best of friends at times but can also turn into the worst of enemies. We still don’t hug or even shake hands when we see each other after a long time. Yet, the smiles on our faces are enough for both of us to understand how much we’ve missed each other.

She is probably the most energetic and witty person I’ve known. She truly is the life and soul of our house. I still remember when she went off to medical school all the way in Abbotabad, how silent our house suddenly became. Even with the birth of my elder brother’s children and noise they made, my sister’s absence had caused a certain quietness in the house. There were times when I caught my mother or even my father, with their faces hidden under their arms, tears trembling down their cheeks after every time they spoke to her on the phone. Then there was me – the waterworks always started whenever Jawad Ahmad’s amazingly touching song “Yehi Toh Hai Apnapann” was on TV.

Now that I think about it, all those memories of the tremendous amounts of fun I’ve had with my sister come rushing back to me. Our last minute decisions to go out for a late night ice cream and how we always tried to sneak out of the house and into the car, making sure our nosy neighbourhood aunty didn’t see us. Those never-ending discussions on the most random topics ever known to man; the hours we spent playing ludo and monopoly, which almost always ended up in a fight; the times when we stayed up till the early hours of the morning to watch movies – all of this is hitting me like a flood.

How could I forget our attempts to tiptoe into the kitchen to silence our midnight cravings without waking our mum! We’d fight and argue over the silliest of things, like which one of us our mum loves more, or who would take charge of the ultimate power of the remote control, or who gets to choose the main dish for dinner!

And now, exactly a month before her wedding, amidst the chaos of the preparations, I’ve suddenly realised that she is going to leave again – this time more permanently though. Our house, which got its liveliness back after such a long time is going to be silent once again. Of course, she’ll still be my sister and she’ll still come home whenever she wants to, things will, in more ways than one, become different. She’ll have other things to keep her occupied; she’ll have new responsibilities which will be more important than the midnight escapades with her brother. Sometimes I sit and think what exactly  I will do at the time of her rukhsati. Will I hug her, or will I shake her hand? One thing is for certain; at that time I most certainly will not able to conjure a smile on my face.

Nevertheless, I refuse to let these things bring me down because I know deep inside me that even though things may change in a way that I won’t necessarily appreciate or enjoy in the months to come, I still have this time to do my best and give her even more precious memories to take with her to her new home. I still have time to give her every bit of happiness that I can, just to bring a smile on her face.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to say this to her face, so here it is:

I may fight with you from time to time and be an enormous idiot, but you should know in your heart that I love you immensely and always will. And most importantly, if you ever feel like having cookies and cream ice cream at 1am in the morning and your husband is too tired to take you, you know I’ll always be there, ready as ever!

Read more by Saad here.

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Saad Hafeez

Saad Hafeez

A British Pakistani living and studying in London.

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • Nandita.

    Very touching! Brought a smile to my face :)Recommend

  • Aisha

    This is such an amazing article. Your sister is lucky to have you as a brotherRecommend

  • http://aligaadrocks.blogspot.com/ Mohammad Ali Gaad

    Cheer up! Bro more you will think about it, more it is going to hurt you. Recommend

  • Nobody

    I love this piece! As someone with an older sibling I can attest to the fact that it’s definitely tough when they move out whether for work or whatever. Wish u the best getting through it. Just hang onto the fact that she’ll always be your sis and just work a little harder so you can see each other often. I never let my relationship with my older sibling grow weak because of distance. Just takes more work. Good luck! Recommend

  • Parvez

    Mushy but nicely written.Recommend

  • khan

    brought tears into my eyes;) lucky sister and a lucky brotherRecommend

  • Aliya

    I really hope your sister realizes how lucky she is to have a brother like you. I’m missing my own brother now ;-(Recommend

  • Oscar

    :’)Recommend

  • Fariha Shams Butt

    such an amazing article, ended with a burst of tears, my brother’s name is Saad as well, and throughtout the article i felt like its written for me ………………….. this is such a beautiful relationship, you cant even think about living without your siblins eventually u had to but the nostalgia dont let you live alone. May ALLAH bless your sister with countless showers of happiness, peace and prosperity Saad and may ALLAH bless every sister with a brother and every brother with a sister for this is the most beautiful relation in the worldRecommend

  • KZ

    isn’t this a more detailed description of that cadbury ad with the siblings fighting. Dont recall the remote control thoughRecommend

  • TAS

    you couldnt say it to her face and therefore you preferred saying it in front of the whole world.Recommend

  • http://www.myfrequentranting.wordpress.com Farwa

    Really emo…but nice :)Recommend

  • Nandita.

    @TAS:

    This is a perfectly nice article. Dont criticize the author just for the heck of it.Recommend

  • Vikram

    Author “I may fight with you from time to time and be an enormous idiot, but you should know in your heart that I love you immensely and always will.”

    Be a man. Stop fighting with your married sister.Recommend

  • Atiqa Mateen

    My My! I have never ever read sth as beautiful as this that elaborates the bro-sis relationship:) gave me goose bumps;)Recommend

  • Shabbir

    If only more siblings were this loving and cordial! A brothers love and support makes a girl confident and successful in everything that she does! Very nicely written.

    @TAS : Looks like you woke up a little grumpy today. Or is it that your sibling is not treating you nice today? hopefully you get in a nicer mood soon.Recommend

  • http://www.jaaliangrez.wordpress.com/ The Reader

    After such a long time I have read one beautiful piece on Tribune. Author, if you could please add your blog along with your intro. Recommend

  • http://www.itblabbers.blogspot.com/ Missing Light

    Dulcet ! :)Recommend

  • Imaan

    What an amazing blog post!Recommend

  • nitish

    Why I feel like an Indian is penning down the love for his sis………I thought in pakistan sis proves to be beloved of her bro………..Recommend

  • Umar

    Amazing. Recommend

  • Sana

    Same is the story of me and my brother … reflections on past always puts a smile on my face :)Recommend

  • Reem

    beautiful…it was really touchy !!!Recommend

  • Vigilant

    Good read……Recommend

  • Imaan

    @Vikram:

    Erm did you even read this? It says she’s going to get married in a month. And anyway there’s always a little bit of love in a brother sister fight! Recommend

  • RK Singh
  • Maha

    Beautiful read.Recommend

  • Hazal Kaya lover

    I wish I had a brother like you! but then I realize my brother is a Canadian potato!Recommend

  • Morning Glory

    Beautiful! Made my cry, for my sister got married a couple months back! AND I MISS HER EACH SECOND OF THE DAY! I CRY FOR HER EACH NIGHT and the only consolation is the fact that she is very very happy MA :)Recommend

  • Practicality

    I wonder, if my brother was alive today, would he have felt the same way for me?
    Your sister is blessed to have a brother like you!

    Cheers and congrats on her wedding! :)Recommend

  • khalida

    brought back all the memories of my own sister’s rukhsati!!! i went through all the wedding preparations flustered, annoyed , everyone was at each other’s neck because we had very little time to prepare for the BIG day so i actually wanted to get over with it as soon as possible but when it was the time for her rukhasati .. the moment she stepped down from the stage i was numb it was as if it had actually sturck me at that time that she is going away words fail to describe the emptiness which engulfed me… i wanted time to stop ..freeze.. But i guess it’s the way it is … . Recommend