The importance of being idle

Published: September 6, 2012
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If slackers had a monthly supplement, I swear to you I would have graced its covers a few times over.

Something within me changed recently. I became a productive, contributing member of society and I started doing my own laundry.

It doesn’t stop here. Once you wind up on the path of being a citizen in every sense of the world, stained and wrinkled attire just does not feel right. Yes, I have a job, and yes, I earn money. Yes, I can splurge with reckless abandon and I owe it all to being bored of being bored.

If slackers had a monthly supplement, I swear to you I would have graced its covers a few times over. Lying in bed and staring at the ceiling was a hobby and daydreaming was a sport.

Lord knows that if it weren’t for my utter hate of being nagged constantly by my father, I would have continued on this path of being perpetually useless. But out of nowhere I received a call from detailing a job opportunity. I don’t even remember applying anywhere, but I suspect my father, in a fit of desperation, got hold of my dusty CV, deleted the part that proudly mentioned my only crowning achievement of getting 890 in Fruit Ninja and spammed the document to every organisation he could think of. A few weeks later and I’m standing in front of a mirror, wrestling with a tie and wondering how I would ever make the transition from ex-college student to new employee.

Fact of the matter is that we become so scared of admitting that we aren’t teenagers anymore that anything that seems remotely responsible is shunned and the trickle of friends that land jobs are ostracised as being ‘sellouts’. I know from personal experience that I held on to that hope against hope that if I stayed in my room for long enough maybe people would forget I was there and I could be left alone to do all the nothing i wanted to do. But I changed and it didn’t happen because of anything other than that the first moment when you read your offer letter. It takes someone telling you that you can contribute to make you realise that you should contribute.

I’ve landed a job now, my first one and when it’s late and no one’s looking I still guffaw at old South Park episodes just to remind myself that I’ve still got it.

Read more from Fyez here and follow him on Twitter @fyezeatscake

fyez.ahmed

Fyez Ahmed

A Dubai based writer who tweets once a month @fyezeatscake (twitter.com/fyezeatscake)

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.

  • Parvez

    That was a brilliant tongue-in-cheek piece of writing. Loved the self deprecating humour.Recommend

  • Nandita.

    This made me laugh till my stomach hurt. Seriously !

    I was reminded of a song I sang as a child in school.

    ” We’re busy doing nothing, working the whole day through, trying to find lots of things not to do. We’re busy going nowhere, isn’t it just a crime. We’d like to be unhappy but we never do have the time. I have to watch the river to see that it doesn’t stop …. ” And it goes on.

    Waise I relate to the offer letter bit. I was thrilled when I received my first offer letter as well. I got placed in a company through campus placement and my excitement knew no bounds. Got 5 photocopies of the offer letter ( I have no clue why ) and read it a million times.

    All the best for your new job ! Don’t lose the child in you though; no job is worth that.Recommend

  • http://NewYork Falcon

    Fyez – A light read. Most of the people who grew up in Pakistan can relate to it. Congrats for getting the job.Recommend

  • Faizan

    Nothing in life is better than seeing your family happy and proud of yourself and your achievement! youth in this era are quite off the track and careless. Theres always a “wake-up call”, Glad yours was soon:)
    Good Morning:D!Recommend

  • tj

    hahaha be it working or even marriage, we dont want any responsibilty.Recommend

  • http://lonepkliberal.wordpress.com Loneliberal PK

    Your article barely meets the minimum word limit set by The Express Tribune, so I believe you when you say you’re a slacker.

    My kinda guy. Well written.Recommend

  • Tahir

    Respect brother!

    high fiveRecommend

  • Sahar

    Abhi to tumhe shadi bhe kerny hay meray bhai, The job thing is just a minor punch :)Recommend

  • sidjeen

    dont worry soon you will be bored to death in your new job then you will envy the people who sit idle all day starring at the fan………..Recommend

  • https://ambiography.wordpress.com Simba

    890 in Fruit Ninja :O i can’t cross 200 :( this is really something you should mention in your CV :)Recommend

  • aizaz anwar

    haha
    amazing article Recommend

  • Hammad Asif

    this article was a treat especially while i m reading it at work during lunch hours i miss my “wheelapun” days. Recommend