Down with Valentine’s Day!

Published: February 14, 2012
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It’s that dreaded day of the year again, unknown to none, prohibited by many and celebrated by most; Valentine’s Day. Pagan rituals and worshipping “Christianized” idols are probably at their peak right now. A commercial excuse for public displays of affection and then the hateful price hike in the market on ultimate necessities like flowers and chocolates? I’m so glad there are groups on Facebook that addressed this rising concern like:

Sorry, Valentines Day I am Muslim

Let’s boycott Valentine’s Day

and

Jihad against Biddah.

A post on Jihad against Biddah asks pertinent questions like:

Will u b my valentine on d DAY OF JUDGEMENT & GIVE ME ALL UR GOOD DEEDS WHEN I WILL FALL SHORT OF DEM WHEN MY RECORDS WOULD B OPENED?
–> will u share 50% of d HELL FIRE on me?
–> will u help me when i would b THROWN in a crowd of POISONOUS SNAKES or atleast get some of dem on urself?

To understand fully how dangerous this day can be, you must watch this video on YouTube here.

Personally, I could not agree with Mr Mullah more. Valentine’s day is a sickening holiday. What is with the gooey love messages and extravagant shopping for girls? Using religion to slam events like this (and anniversaries, birthdays etc) is just the right approach. Nobody dare argue with that! Good job Mr Mullah, I shall be sure to pass on this winning strategy to my great great grandchildren too.

Besides being un-Islamic and commercial, Valentine’s Day is also sexist. Men are pressurized by television commercials and shop windows to actually express their love! The stress and demands are just ridiculous! I mean, who the hell can be asked uprightly for love, chocolates and flowers? What an inconvenience to show off your love for her when you could just type a text message – even better, email it to her from your office PC. No cost!

Then there are the unmentionable acts that go on in “parks” and “coffee shops” . Disgraceful. I wouldn’t order the coffee with cream, sprinkled with chocolate shaped like a heart if they put a gun to my head. And those 80 year old love birds, using this day as an excuse to publicly share a cone outside McDonalds? Oh gross. I mean, who wants to grow old and love each other forever?? We’re gonna die anyway, why attach yourself from now?

Seriously, pragmatism is the way to go. Save the cash! Support the mullahs and we’ll all live happily ever after. This nonsensical behavior must stop! Lets take an oath now:

“We, from this day onwards, shall not go to cafes and indulge in harmless flirting with a member of the opposite sex. We will not visit parks, we will not buy red roses (EVER). We shall abstain from love and the cheese that goes with it. We will not spend a dime on our boyfriends and girlfriends because it’ll just spoil them, showing them how we really feel and we will definitely not let anyone else enjoy this day by posting videos and Facebook groups like the ones stated above.”

Now that we’ve taken this godforsaken oath, I’m gonna go start getting dressed for my date tonight!

Read more about Valentine’s Day here.

erum.shaikh

Erum Shaikh

The writer is a News Editor at The Express Tribune and has an Undergraduate Degree in Law from the University of London. She tweets @shaikherum (twitter.com/shaikherum)

The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune.