Durr-e-Shahwar: Television blames working women
Last Saturday night, I sat down with my mother-in-law to watch a new television drama serial named “Durr-e-Shahwar” which has come after the much talked and blogged about “Humsafar”. She was quite eager to watch this new serial, and I decided to keep her company. However, a few minutes into the show I started feeling anger at the writer and producer. Here’s why: “Durr-e-Shahwar” portrayed a working woman who was so focused on her career that she ignored everybody around her – her family, her husband and her in-laws. While the show is well-produced and ...
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Pet peeves: Why men irritate women
Sometimes, men irritate the hell out of women, and honestly they know it but they just act like they don’t. Growing up, I remember teasing the girl I liked the most in school only to get her to notice me. So perhaps the irritating streak has continued to be part of our DNA as we’ve grown up. Having been married for sometime, I’ve been able to pin point a few areas where the male species has mastered the art of irritation. 1. Toilet seat conundrum We don’t know why we do this, but we do. No matter how many times you tell us to ...
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In marriage, golden jubilee anniversaries do happen
Sometimes memories of the years that have passed roll on in front of our eyes like old black and white movies. On April 8, every year since 1962, I have felt that way and am reminded each year of the day I married my beloved wife. This year is our golden jubilee anniversary, and I plan to celebrate it with my wife by my side, God willing. On this day, I intend to invite our relatives and friends, not to celebrate the day we got married, but the happy days we have spent together and how we have made an impact ...
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Javed Chaudhry’s misogynistic excuse for violence against women
In a column published on April 1 in the Urdu newspaper Daily Express, Javed Chaudhry expresses his disapproval for a man who had paid another Rs100,000 to attack his estranged wife by throwing acid on her face. Even in his attempted condemnation, the language he uses to describe her injuries is detailed, graphic and inappropriate. “Hadiyan nangi ho gain. Aankh ubal kar bahir aa gai” (Bones were bare. The eye was singed and protruding) But then, these descriptions become downright pornographic as his ultimate thesis becomes apparent; perhaps, women incite violence because of their own insubordination, give or take a few innocent victims. The narrative focuses ...
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‘My husband is my father’s age…’
A few weeks ago, I happened to witness the unfortunate crumbling and subsequent break-up of a close friend’s marriage. After hearing both sides of the story, I arrived to a conclusion regarding the main reason behind the failure: The husband was 20 years older than his wife. Although common in an eastern society where arranged marriages are the norm, such large age-gaps (10 years and more) often have great drawbacks in a relationship as intimate as marriage. In our society, parents are in a rush to marry off their daughters before they hit the twenty-fifth birthday mark (or even earlier), ...
Read Full PostSeven reasons girls can’t answer the phone
If you are in a relationship, you’ll probably agree that phones and women just don’t go together. Sure, they have their iPhones, Blackberrys or Nokia E7s. They are even connected to Facebook and Twitter on the go, but when it comes to picking up the phone when you need to talk to them, they are incognito, untraceable and off the radar. Mostly, they won’t call back or even text to let you know that they are okay – unless, of course, they have to talk to you. Having been married for over five years, I have probably heard every reason possible for not ...
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We need domestic violence legislation…now
Pakistan is considered to be the third most dangerous place for women to live in, according to the Thomson Reuters Foundation poll 2011. Despite the fact that the majority population in Pakistan is female, it is still a strictly patriarchal society where women are sometimes killed for something as personal as choosing a husband. In the West, women liberation now means fighting for tax payer funded abortion; in Pakistan, we are still advocating the treatment of women as equal beings who deserve the basic rights to life, family, freedom from torture and inhuman treatment. While there is some progress on the ...
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A female baby, a waste of space
It’s pitch dark outside, and not a sound can be heard anywhere. He hears the soft ruffling of his new-born daughter stir and he sneers at her in disgust. “Waste of my money and a waste of space,” he mutters angrily. As if sensing her father’s displeasure, the baby starts wailing softly. That’s it – he grabs her roughly, and before her mother can react, the baby is murdered. The only crime she had committed was that of being a girl. Unfortunately, manly female infants meet the same end in Pakistan. According to The Edhi Foundation, it was estimated that more than a thousand infants were ...
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