Stories about weddings

Why marriage is not for everyone

There are more routes to happiness than those identified by the social majority. It is time we acknowledge that not all of these routes transit through the terminal of marriage. Any discussion on whether a certain custom is right for you, must begin with an honest recognition of your primary goal. The goal is your happiness and prosperity, and nothing that any parent, uncle, aunty, friend has to say about it has any agency over your own awareness of what brings you contentment. Their counsel may be wise and worthy, but they have the disadvantage of not knowing you the way you might ...

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Are millennials doomed to failure?

At a wedding dinner recently, some people spoke disparagingly about the younger generation. “They’re too lazy”, said one. “All they do is peer into their smart phones and watch video clips,” said another. “There really is no hope for them now,” said a third man. So I thought deeply on whether the younger generation is as idle and useless as these older men portrayed. I know that when I started my career, those who were 20 years senior to me would laugh at my mistakes. “You don’t know how to work hard,” my boss would say. “A little bit of effort and research, and you ...

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23 reasons why I love Pakistan and you should too!

In a country with a population of over 188.2 million people, a lot can go wrong, but a lot can go right too! Here is a list of 23 things that make Pakistan home. 1. The men Photo: AFP We may belong to a patriarchal society, but not all men are alike. They don’t all suffer from the disease of misogyny. True gems like Abdul Sattar Eidhi, Ansar Burney and Imran Khan also exist in our society, individuals who play a pivotal role in the betterment of society. 2. The women  Photo: AFP Contrary to the patriarchal outlook of ...

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My life is rich and full, even without marriage

Tiny love story, “And what do you do?” so many have asked. “I tell stories,” the girl said. One by one they’ve walked away, not understanding the language she speaks. Until one day… “I tell stories,” said she. “Then you are brave,” said he, “and you should keep telling them. I want to hear them all.” The end. Like a conjurer, I have dozens of stories like this up my sleeve. They come to me at inopportune moments, waking me up at three in the morning or badgering me in the middle of a work meeting. Stories need telling, need escape, as do the characters within them, ...

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Stop making marriage a monster, it is not all about ‘compromise’

Marriage is an alliance of affection, companionship and an absolute sharing of heart and soul. But sporadically, we disregard why people take this step, commit their lives and vow their lives to each other. In our part of the world, we believe getting married is an antidote – a complete cure package for numerous issues. Therefore, many people get hitched because of extreme social and familial pressures, fear of getting old, monotonous routines and irritating inquiries of relatives and acquaintances who keep asking, “So when you are getting married?” In some cases, people choose matrimony because they believe in absurd myths – such as ...

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10 honest marriage vows you never hear at weddings

Love is patient, love is kind, love endures, blah, blah, blah; isn’t it all wonderful? Vowing to persevere through sickness and health, and in wealth and poverty is tradition, and it’s comfortable when associated with lace and roses. But hasn’t it proven to be fairly useless when it comes to forging marriages that last forever? How many people have mouthed the words, “until we are parted by death” while privately plotting to move on as soon as a more attractive option presents itself? Here’s a set of wedding vows with practical merit. They might sound unconventional and unromantic. They’re certainly not poetic, but these ...

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Aunty shaadi kara day gi

I am turning 26 next month. I see how aunties look at me at weddings and mehndis. Even for a guy, I seem on the tail end of the perfect shaadi age bracket. No longer am I the choicest meat at the supermarket; I fall somewhere between that and expired meat, which is then sold at cheaper prices. It seems ironic being compared to a piece of meat, the look in these aunties’ eyes gives me a window into feeling how girls feel going to Aashiana or Liberty market to buy the latest lawn print. Mehndis are no different than shopping malls for ...

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Are you sure you want to #SayNoToBollywood?

It has become quite common for any news headline to become a hot topic of discussion over social media. The same happened in the form of the prevalent tensions between India and Pakistan regarding the Line of Control (LoC) ceasefire violations. Pakistan’s reaction to this was creating a hashtag pushing people to boycott Bollywood. Thus, a debate commenced on social media, with the hashtag #SayNoToBollywood being one of the trending initiatives in Pakistan. Bollywood serves no useful purpose anyway. It poisons your mind and sets up unrealistic expectations of love and sexuality #SayNoToBollywood — B. (@Scheher_azade) October 8, 2014 #saynotobollywood is trending in Pakistan — ...

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Is it a burden to have four daughters in a Pakistani society?

“Four daughters?” the woman asked, her eyes wide with a mix of horror, pity and fascination. Then, “Mashallah!” A sympathetic smile, followed by, “They are beautiful. May Allah (SWT) bless them with good kismet (fortune)” I can’t count how many times I have heard these sentences being said to my mother. Different women, same words, same connotations each time. For most of my life it did not bother me. I took it in stride. After all, it is a burden to have four daughters in a Pakistani society. To find an educated husband for them, to painstakingly accumulate their dowry, to train them in the art of keeping house; above all to ensure their ...

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Four cups of tea: Bringing people together for years

“If you want to thrive in Baltistan, you must respect our ways. The first time you share tea with a Balti, you are a stranger. The second time, you are an honoured guest. The third time, you become family, and for our family, we are prepared to do anything, even die. Dr Greg, you must take time to share three cups of tea. We may be uneducated but we are not stupid. We have lived and survived here for a long time.” – Three Cups of Tea. Last week became a little strange. First, the Express Tribune blogs team asked if I would be ...

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