Saving Face: An Oscar for mediocrity?
In February, when Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy’s Film, Saving Face, on acid burn victims won an Oscar, I was sceptical. Accolade seemed to focus on how great it was for Pakistan to have this honour – and whenever people get jingoistic, you know that the core may be hollow. Frankly, there are two reasons why the film won the Oscar: excellent public relations work, and choice of topic that fits the western narrative of acceptable ways to talk about Muslim women – as victims of patriarchal religious violence without any emphasis on the larger socio-economic context in which this violence ensues and whether there are ...
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Husbands who beat, women who get beaten
What happens when your savior also becomes your enemy? How do you feel when the father of your child emotionally, psychologically, verbally and physically abuses you instead of giving you the respect you deserve? How do you reclaim your self-esteem when he ridicules you and your family and makes you believe every time that it is your fault, when actually it isn’t? Domestic violence causes far more pain than the visible marks of bruises and scars. It is devastating to be abused by someone that you love and who you think loves you in return, because you’ll always end up ...
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The Oscar conundrum
Pakistan’s first Oscar moment was momentous, to say the least. That one of our own was blessed enough to walk in front of the best of the best of the world cinema and claim her place within their ranks is a testament to the resolve of the Pakistani spirit, and an ovation to our limitless talent. At the same time it has been mired in the fact that it does portray a side that we would rather brush under the carpet. There is some truth to both sides of the story. To walk up and be awarded the golden statue, which ...
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Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy, you are my role model
As I sat waiting for the award for ‘Best Documentary, Short Subject’ for which Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy had been nominated for her documentary Saving Face to be announced, my stomach tied itself in knots. Having interned with Sharmeen last year, and worked with her on “Saving Face”, I was inspired by her. I frantically texted my friend Anushka (who had been Sharmeens’ assistant last year) who was as nervous and excited as me. The thought of Sharmeen at the Oscars was overwhelming and we had a strong feeling that she would win. We felt anxious, almost sick, but we knew that we were not alone. There was an entire ...
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Domestic violence: The scars that remain
I had met Sumaira Waseem* many times for work. Vivacious, smiling, in control – she seemed to be a confident, educated woman who had it all: a home, a comfortable lifestyle, three children, a ‘nice guy’ husband and a career she enjoyed as an HR consultant. But sometimes, just sometimes, I felt her eyes did not smile along with her lips. Over the years, slowly, we developed a friendship. This year, during one of our heart-to-hearts, Sumaira spoke out. She came out of her closet. What I heard stunned me. Waseem and she seemed like the almost perfect couple. He was quiet, ...
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Her brothers killed her
I was on the phone with my mother who had left for Hyderabad a few days back, but ended up in our village in district Badin. Her voice shook as she spoke when I asked her if everything was fine. She replied: ‘Did nobody inform you? Shanu was killed by her brothers.’ I felt numb. Shanu, my mother’s second cousin had been shot dead. The thought of her lifeless face gave me goosebumps. Shanu was a middle-aged divorced woman and mother of three, whose two brothers shot nine bullets into her. She wanted to remarry but her family managed to persuade her against it. ...
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Sisters, wives, mothers and punching bags
Women belong in the house. They are too fragile to take on the challenges of a man’s world. They cry when they see a child in pain. Their maternal instincts drive them to take decisions that are often against their personal interest. They are ingrained with a spirit of self-sacrifice that drives them to give up on their dreams to achieve a better reality for their families. When they go out to study in prestigious universities or offices, they are ‘harassed’ by innocent men whose only fault is their noble offer to give women an advantage at work in exchange ...
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Pakistan hates women
Pardon me for being so blunt, but I’m not wrong. When you live in a country in which 80 per cent of the women are subjected to domestic abuse, then one can do nothing but point his or her finger at the collective psyche of the nation, within which misogynist ideas are so profoundly ingrained. There’s nothing wrong with particular individuals but something is terribly awry with us as a whole. If there’s one thing Mukhtaran Mai’s struggle has taught us, it is that this nation abhors rape victims more than it despises rapists. Our society, in lieu of teaching ...
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Mukhtaran Mai case: Mubashar Luqman’s big mistake
The Supreme Court (SC) judgement of Mukhtaran Mai’s case was a great disappointment, but the insensitivity displayed by some elements of the media, was shocking. Many elements in the media treated the judgement as they treat every other issue – adding a lot of masala, controversy and sensationalism to it. While I think that no issue deserves this sort of juvenile treatment, there should be a limit to the coverage of sensitive topics like this one. The decision of the SC has been a big setback for the women of Pakistan. Most decent people in Pakistan, and the rest of the world, think ...
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‘Are you having a baby? I hope it’s a boy’
In an era where cell phones and Botox have changed our lifestyles, our mentality is still not very different from the dark ages. If you browse through any Urdu newspaper’s classified section, you might come across an ad that says “beta” (son) in big, bold letters. If you read further, it says “Inshallah, beta ho ga” (God willing, it’ll be a son). And it’s not just newspapers. People send spam text messages like “Boy or girl, choice is yours”. This is a gruesome reality that tells us our thinking has not evolved at all. The stigma attached to the birth of a female ...
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