Stories about Transformers

Fate of the Furious is nothing but a slow and strenuous collection of ludicrous action pieces

Remind me again, what exactly is this whole franchise? There is no way it can be termed as a movie series. Films, after all, require some resemblance to a story. But in furiousverse, there is no such thing as a plot.  We have simply got a collection of ludicrous action set-pieces that are connected together by filler scenes comprising of hot chicks, lame gags and tediously boring monologues about the importance of ‘la familia’. But – with due respect to all the furiousheads out there – in our universe, this might be called a show reel, but there is ...

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The Power Rangers is an utterly forgettable film

Power Rangers is the latest arrival from Hollywood’s ever-growing and seemingly endless pantheon of reboot/ remakes that are either in development, in production or hitting theatres near you. And looking back, it’s hard to even understand who this was aimed at. Kids these days don’t know about the Power Rangers and the people who watched the show, on which this film is based, back in 90’s, either watched it purely for its camp factor or were too young and stupid to realise how bad it was. Becky G., Dacre Montgomery, Naomi Scott, Ludi Lin, and RJ Cyler in ...

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With Transformers 4 has Micheal Bay reached his Age of Extinction?

Having lowered the bar of expectation to such an extent that it disappeared from my own eyesight, I felt vaguely prepared for another venture into the Hasbro franchise’s latest offering – Transformers: Age of Extinction. I’ll get to the irony of the title a little later on in this piece. First off, I am a huge transformers fan. From the cartoon movie, to the comic books, TV series and the action figures, I’ve been through all the different stages of growing up with this franchise… and then in walked Michael Bay. Director Michael Bay attends the european premiere of ...

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Want to own a Lamborghini? Here is how it’s done!

I am not really big on cars; the previous cars I have had – a white Mehran (aka the Sex Mobile), a whiter Mehran (aka the Sugar Mama) and a maroon Mehran (aka the Kinky Dinky) – were all funded by a non-refundable loan from my dad (he is the best bank ever). Not that I don’t like my Mehrans, but yesterday I saw the latest Transformers movie, and I have to say, I would love to buy a Lamborghini for myself. I mean, it’s about time I buy a car that has its own name, you know, like Gallardo or Aventador. I don’t think ...

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10 reasons why I would vote for Optimus Prime

Looking at the current state-of-affairs in Pakistan, it is safe to say that Decepticon-like humans are creating havoc in the political sphere. Their weapons and actions have made peace a scarce concept. In addition, the May 11 elections are expected to bring change in Pakistan. If peace needs to prevail in the country then, in my opinion, Optimus Prime should become the president of Pakistan. My vote is for him not because he is a thirty-two feet tall robot who transforms into a truck, equipped with cool weapons. It isn’t even because he has a deep voice. I wish him to ...

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Transformers 3: Great effects, greater flaws

Watching a Michael Bay movie must be similar to what I imagine it is like for patients on the receiving end of a colonoscopy – there is always a bit of a fear. After all, this is the director who, in 2001, took a historic tragedy and unintentionally turned it into a three-hour comedy in the form of Pearl Harbor. The experience is numbing, considering that you can fit the plots of Bay’s entire work on the back of a matchbook; after either ordeal is over, any enjoyment you may have felt is accompanied by feelings of guilt. Dark of ...

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