An innie in an outie’s world
Growing up, I was such a quiet child, especially compared to my loud, older sisters that my parents would often forget me. They sometimes failed to remember they had a third child. Once, they lost me at a supermarket and realised it when the store manager called. Had it not been for him, I’d be a feral child living in aisle six gorging on cereal and candy bars for the rest of my life. No offense to my parents, they just didn’t know what to do with a little person like me. Innately introverted Had someone explained to them that I was innately ...
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11 rules for the Pakistani do-gooder
There’s much to be said about the spirit of volunteerism and philanthropy, so deeply ingrained in desi culture. In a material world, it’s great to see people making the effort to venture beyond their personal spheres. Before leaving one’s comfort zone, however, it might be important to be a little prepared. This is true not only for the good-hearted burger-bachas, but also their proactive supervisors, armed to the teeth with terrifyingly good intentions. After squirming in my shoes watching just such an army of angels at work, I thought it might be useful to have a Community Service Orientation Pack, ...
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Fat people have feelings too!
It has been observed that obese individuals are the last people on Earth you can make fun of without a strong legal or social backlash. I concur with that observation. Having a weight problem myself, I understand what it’s like to be at constant war with one’s own physical form. My day starts with me standing in front of the mirror, and staring at a round face, wearing an expression of sheer disappointment. I suck in my tummy hoping that it improves the way I look. It does not. On my way to my university, I can sense hundreds of judgmental ...
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Female genital mutilation in Pakistan, and beyond
Warning: The following article contains information that readers may find uncomfortable or disturbing to read “Female genital mutilation is a torture, not a culture.” Alice Walker According to the World Health Organisation, female genital mutilation (FGM) is defined as all “procedures involving partial or total removal of the external female genitalia or other injury to the female genital organs for non-medical reasons.” The process is carried out for a wide number of reasons, none of which have positive health implications. As a social cause, young girls and their families are pressurized to surrender to the tradition of FGM that has been carried out ...
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Money 101: When cash ruins relationships
Amir and Kyran are college buddies; they shared the proverbial dhabay ki chai during their skint student days and were quite comfortable sharing their monetary (or lack of) woes. Three years after graduation, Amir is a rising star in a leading investment bank and Kyran is a do-gooder in the non-profit sector working for the betterment of Pakistani women. Sheer finances have managed to complicate this relationship which has survived difficult parents, three break ups, erratic bosses and so on. Kyran’s income is roughly half of what Amir takes home. While she does enjoy going to fancy restaurants once in a while, ...
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If you’re ‘fair and innocent’, will you marry my son?
A few weeks ago, I went to a wedding where upon introduction, an aunty made the following comment: “Oh, beta how wonderful to see you’ve done your MBA. But why aren’t you married yet?” The “why aren’t u married yet” was repeated in a derogatory tone as I was dragged to meet another aunty. This aunty seemed to be looking for a “suitable” wife for her son who was living in America. Her plan was to short list 5-8 girls for her son, who would be visiting Pakistan for just a week, so she could ask him to choose one ...
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Didn’t you know everyone hated you?
While social networking sites may have made their founders billionaires, they have created trouble for many of their users. Or I should say many users have created trouble for themselves and others around them. Social networking sites have become online gangster spots for many rebellious youngsters around the globe. They have even allowed older people to act in a childish and immature way, causing problems for their families. This week Vivek High School in India suspended 16 students for starting a thread containing vile remarks against a female teacher. It turns out that this is not the first time someone ...
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Weddings: Taking it to the next level
There is something about the summer season in Karachi that makes me love it, despite all that heat and humidity. Not only is it the best time to go swimming and enjoy succulent mangoes, it is also somehow the best time to get married for many. Talking about the week-long festivities, dancing the nights away to Indian tunes is the typical culture of a wedding household. Gone are the days when cousins and friends used to get together to sing traditional Pakistani wedding songs. Now, the trend is to dance to catchy Indian beats. Where exactly is our sense ...
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