Stories about Rehman Malik

Why is Pakistan so quick to speak about nukes, Khawaja Asif?

Sitting in his jail cell secretly armed with a cellular phone, a British mobile SIM, and the contact details of world leaders, a murderous psychotic terrorist, in the hopes of killing countless, sat plotting nuclear war. His plans were so ludicrous that you’d think this was a work of fiction straight out of a bad spy novel, but I assure you that this incident was frighteningly real. First, he called a nuclear-powered nation itching to retaliate to fresh terrorist attacks on its soil, pretending to be the head of state of a nation whose countrymen were allegedly responsible for the ...

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Rehman Malik has left but his legacy of barring cellphone networks still lives on

My driver didn’t show up today. I could drive myself but then my other family members need the car too. None of us can call Uber or Careem because the apps are not working in the absence of mobile data services so we are stuck. My friend from college is in town for a day. I cannot reach out to her because the only way to contact her is via cell phone – I cannot expect her to check emails to figure out a plan. I had planned that she would come over; we would order something and hang out ...

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Guys, we can no longer have an opinion on chicken handi

Liberals in Pakistan watched with envy as Hamza Ali Abbasi pretended his account got banned every time he wanted attention to further his political career. It is undeniable that Mark Zuckerberg personally stalks Hamza Ali Abbasi on Facebook. A fact further corroborated by life sized posters of Hamza Ali Abbasi at the Facebook headquarters. It is rumoured that Mr Zuckerberg created Facebook only to obtain semi-nude pictures of Hamza Ali Abbasi from his Moulin Rouge days.   The time for conservative propaganda is over kyunkay naya zamana aya aur saath cybercrime bill laya (a new era has arrived, and it has brought the cybercrime bill with it). The government ...

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What makes the Cybercrime bill atrocious is the intent behind it

I was quite concerned when the Protection of Pakistan Act (POPA) was implemented a few years ago; I felt this may lead to Pakistan converting into a police state. That being said, with the recent implementation of the cybercrime bill, I’ve realised that I wasn’t wrong – my concern is now inching closer towards reality. Am I against laws which may control cybercrime? Of course not. Countries worldwide are trying various techniques in order to counter the ever increasing threat of cybercrime by implementing new laws and devising novel penal codes. However, what makes the cybercrime bill in Pakistan atrocious is the intent behind the ...

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Shahbaz Taseer finally breaks his silence and we blame him for cooking up a story? Really, Pakistan?

Warning: The pictures displayed below are graphic. Please use discretion. Shahbaz Taseer has spoken up for the first time about his five-year horrific ordeal. Why now, is anyone’s guess but with so much negativity and fabrications going around, perhaps it was time to set the record straight. Even after his interview with CNN and BBC where he had to relive the torture by recalling the details, many people called him out for not being truthful and making up most of it. There were comments like:  “But he doesn’t look like he was tortured.” He clearly states that his torture stopped after a while, so there ...

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Unless PIA is privatised, it will continue to hijack the nation

Having already confirmed with Pakistan International Airline (PIA) my return flight to Karachi a few days earlier, I was feeling relaxed on the penultimate day of my lovely vacation in Nepal, but when I called the Pakistani national airline’s office in Kathmandu to re-confirm my flight, I received a surprise. According to the PIA representative, my flight had been cancelled days ago, and I was to wait another four days to fly to Karachi. As much as I was fascinated by Nepal, I didn’t wish to spend more time in the country. For one, I was running low on cash ...

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Pakistan Women’s Day: It’s about time we start respecting Shireen Mazari and Asma Jahangir

February 12, 2015, commemorates National Women’s Day in Pakistan, for our mothers, doctors, engineers, leaders, homemakers and women belonging to every strata, class and religion in society. But while we celebrate our women, it is very unfortunate that many of them have to face immense challenges in their daily routine; from public name-calling to humiliation and character assassination, our women go through all. Whenever they come out and participate effectively in political or public spheres, many elements express their venom against such women and regard them to be of bad character and lacking morals. An example of this is the ...

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Showing off Pakistan’s achievements in 2014

2014 was like any other year for Pakistan in the last decade, with socio-political and religious excesses taking the lion’s share of space in the newspapers of the country. And yet, despite being overshadowed by dismal news, there was no dearth of winning moments for our country. In retrospect, this may just prove to be the year in which the foundation for a consolidated effort was laid, in the country’s quest to reclaim its lost glory of the 1960s. Progress was made in all domains of life. Some of those winning moments are herein under presented: Admittedly, in a country forever ...

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Series 2: “The Djinn” Part 4 Halloween

I hadn’t seen Hercules in a while, and I wondered how djinns celebrated Halloween, perhaps by pretending to be human. I, myself, had celebrated Halloween by putting on a Rehman Malik wig and a pair of Asif Zardari grinning dentures. I found him on a stool, and he was made up to look human. Atop his pint-sized body, on his normally clean shaven face now without a veil, were the most outsized moustaches I had ever seen; bushy, black and shiny, upturned and pointy at the ends. Before I could say anything, Hercules struck a ‘Ta-da’ pose on the carpet in front of me. “But… ...

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Karachi at standstill as Prince Bilawal comes of age…

One does not have to be an Imran Khan fan boy to realise what is wrong with Pakistan and its ruling class. The primary reason Imran’s message has resonated with the masses is due to their longing and need for this current system to “change”. Today, as the Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP) prepares to throw one awesome party of their own, I doubt if that “change” will have anything to do with them. It seems that this dog is not willing to learn new tricks at all. It is beyond comprehension, in a country where the capital has been besieged by two political ...

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